The Princess And The Peasant
by CarmellaD'Winter
Summary: Rachel is a single mother,four year old daughter, back home with her fathers. Quinn is a big shot laywer who discovers her husband has been cheating on her. Can the Princess and the Peasant reuinite, or is the past just too painful to revisit?
1. Once Upon A Time

**Hello everyone! So, this is my second FanFic (the previous two I've written had the same plot sort of so I'm counting this as my second) and this came to me as I was reading through some other FanFics – as that's all I seem to do nowadays – and I just really wanted to write this. **

**As usual, reveiws and messages are much appreciated! **

**So, okay, here it goes: ladies, gentlemen, Gleeks and Faberry Shippers alike I give you; Whispering! **

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Whispering – Chapter One: Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, in a far away land there was a beautiful Princess. And this Princess lived in a beautiful castle. She lived with her parents, the King and Queen. She was adored by everyone in the kingdom; the halls where she walked would part like the Red Sea for her, and she could make a command to instruct anything to her loyal subjects with just a simple glare, flicker of her eyes or a rise of one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows. The Princess was never alone whilst wandering her kingdom; she was always accompanied by her two best friends and had a long line of guards surrounding her, as well as a watchful eye from her mentor. Yes, this Princess was the most respected, most beautiful Princess in the whole world. Oh, you're probably wondering what the Princess's name was. Well, her name was Quinn. Princess Quinn Fabray, and she captured the heart of everyone in the kingdom. But, one of the peasants caught her heart and kept it forever.

One day as Princess Quinn was roaming her kingdom, for once alone having sent her subjects off to complete meaningless tasks, she suddenly found herself wandering towards a room she had never been in before. Why? Because she had all of a sudden heard the most beautiful sound in the world. She opened the door and there before her stood the most beautiful, pure and innocent peasant the Princess had ever laid her sparkly green tinted hazel eyes on. As she made her way towards the brunette peasant, with each step she took, she fell in love. The sound coming out of her mouth was unlike any sound she had ever heard before. It brought her tears it was so beautiful. In fact, it was more beautiful than beautiful. It was...there wasn't a word for it! As soon as the last note was sung from the mesmerising woman, Princess Quinn clapped her hands in appreciation, summoning the girl to stare at her with terrified eyes.

"Princess Fabray!" The brunette gasped, bowing her head and crouching into an uncomfortable looking curtsey. Princess Quinn smiled and rolled her eyes at the awestruck peasant. She picked up her skirts and proceeded to make her way over to the brunette. "I believe it should be I who must fall to my knees with awe." The brunette looked up, puzzled by the Princess's words. "Arise child." The girl did as she was instructed, dusting herself down and folding her hands behind her back, looking every part of the doting, humble servant. "May I ask why, Princess Fabray?" She asked with a shaky voice. Princess Quinn smiled kindly at the girl and walked closer to the girl. "Because your voice, has made me temporaily lose my use of speech and has made me misplace my words." The girl blushed and mumbled thanks to the Princess. "Pray tell me, what is your name, oh mythical Nightingale?" The Princess asked, smirking slightly.

"Rachel. Rachel Berry." The girl answered, her voice light and airy.

"Well, Rachel Berry," Princess Quinn said, holding her hand in Rachel's, "I believe I have found my new friend."

As Rachel smiled at the Princess, her heart skipping a beat at the graceful touch from the Princess, a spark was ignited between the Princess and the peasant. This spark would grow and spread throughout their hearts and eventually take over their lives. This spark, would grow to a little powerful, magical emotion called love.

"What happened next Mommy?" The excited, yet obviously tired voice came from the pillow.

Rachel smiled down at her brown eyed daughter. She wiped a hair away from the little girl's face and tucked it protectively behind her ear. "Well, my little Pixie, that will just have to wait for another night!" She teased, leaning into her daughter and planting a loving kiss on the girl's forehead, instructing the girl to yawn and close her eyes as the contact was lost. "Aww no fair!" She grumbled, pouting in the same way Rachel used to when she was her age. She laughed a little and tucked the blankets around her a little tighter, insuring that she was as snuggly as possible. "That maybe so, but just think, the sooner you sleep now, the sooner you'll be able to find out." She whispered, her eyes winking quickly, even though the girl couldn't see. "Okay." The voice came again, this time coming out a just a mumbled sound as the girl gripped onto her soft, fat, squidgy penguin and began to breath lightly, indicating that she was already being transported to her own magical kingdom of Sleepy Dreams.

Once Rachel was positive her little girl was asleep, she picked herself off the bed, turned off the light and made her way over to the door. Just as she was leaving, she took one last look at the girl and smiled, sighing happily. "Goodnight baby girl." She whispered, closing the door but leaving a little gap so that the hall light could protect her and watch her as she slept.

"How is Heidi?" Leroy asked, as he climbed the stairs with a glass of water. Rachel smiled and sighed, going to her father. "She's asleep. Finally. You know she loves her bedtime stories!"

"I remember not so long ago another brown haired, smiley, big hearted little girl who also pouted and refused to go to sleep until she had several stories read to her." He giggled as he pulled his grown up daughter into his arms. She breathed in his sent and closed her own tired eyes. "I'm sure you do." She whispered, giving herself the selfish moment to remember a time when she was carefree and nothing in the world mattered. Well, except for her dads, of course. And her voice.

"Rach, you should sing to her." He said, instantly regretting the suggestion as he felt Rachel pull away from him. "Dad, you know I can't." She told him, sternly but also to stop herself from crying.

"You can Rachel. You just choose not to-"

"Dad, how many times. It's not a choice, all right? It's been four years-"

"Exactly, four years!" He exclaimed quietly, not to wake up the sleeping beauty – the apple of his, his husband and his daughter's life. "Rachel don't you think Heidi deserves to know what a beautiful voice her mother has? What talent she holds? One that she may have inherited from you?-"

"Dad. Please. You know it's too hard." She stared up at him, pleading with him to stop. The tall, giant of a man sighed and pulled Rachel towards him once more and kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight Rachel." He smiled as he allowed her to pull away.

"Goodnight dad." She smiled, trying to hold back the tears that were suddenly threatening to fall.

She made her way across the hall to her bedroom, the same bedroom she had slept in as a child and as a teenager, and proceeded to undress. A quick glance in her mirror, she couldn't help herself but rub her hand over the never fading scar on her stomach. Pursing her lips and stopped and turned away, picking up her red silk pyjamas, pulled back the quilt and climbed into her bed. Reading for bed was something she liked to do, reading herself her own fairy tale bedtime story. As she had tried herself out, satisfied with her reading, she placed the book and her black framed reading glasses on her bedside table and, just before turning the light off, she picked up on of the two photographs that stood there. She gazed at the blond haired girl who smiled up at her from the frame, who had her arms wrapped protectively around her waist. Smiling. One of the biggest, happiest smiles she had ever seen. The two of them looked so happy. So carefree. Rachel was only pulled out of her thoughts and her dream, when she saw the little tear drop slide down the glass of the jewelled frame.

"Goodnight, my Princess." She whispered as she placed the frame back on the side table and turned the light off. Her eyes continued to stare at the picture, the memory, until her eyes involuntarily closed and she drifted off into her own version of Sleepy Dreams.


	2. The Scoundrel and the Lawyer

Whispering – Chapter Two: The Scoundrel and the Lawyer

It had been an exhausting weekend. A three day trip consisting of Quinn and her colleagues – male colleagues that is – sitting in a boring, stuffy board room listening to their equally boss drone on and on about the firm's finances and marketing structures, as well as the cases that were coming up; murders, loan sharks, arsonists, down right criminals.

But, of course the men in the firm got those cases – the cases Quinn dreamed she could take – whilst she got stuck with the dull and simple cases; minor robberies and assaults, speeding tickets that refused to be paid...not the stuff that she, a highly qualified lawyer should be dealing with.

As well as being sidelined about the cases, Quinn was also made to feel inferior outside of the board room when she had to get on with her other cases; her clients' appointments were moved around and changed without any of the secretaries telling her – or at least not in enough time – and having her whole time table messed up. Whenever she tried to have a serious conversation, she was put down.

Honestly, she thought she was in the twenty first century!

"Excuse me John," she had called out during her meeting, "but aren't women supposed to be getting equal opportunities in the work place? You know, like giving me a good case instead of the crappy ones that junior lawyers could do?" She spoke with a cold tone, narrowing her eyes at him, mirroring her head cheerleader stare she used to perform everyday in high school. The men that surrounded her just laughed under their breathes. "Fabray, come on." John sighed with a big grin stretched across his wrinkled lips, "Don't go all 'women's rights' on me. We're in a meeting!"

"I'm just saying it's not fair and-"

"Oh fair shmair! This is the real world, doll face! Not everything is fair. This isn't high school any more! You ain't the head cheerleader any more, you can't always get what you want."

"I'm fully aware of that, John," She allowed her voice to deepen as she said his name to try ad sound more intimidating, "what I am trying to get across to you is that-"

"Look, why don't you just put your tampons back in your purse, calm down and listen to what we have to say, all right?" He shook his head and turned back to the powerpoint.

"Yeah well, why don't you put this in your purse, I quit." She announced in her powerful HBIC voice, standing and packing her things. Some of the men in the room just groaned, others sank intot their seats. Some, just wanted to get a good look at her ass in her tight pencil skirt. John, on the other hand, had a bit of a freak out. "You can't quit, you're one of the best lawyers in this damn firm! Without you, we won't have any female clients and then we'll lose money and then-"

"Not my problem big shot!" She called as she walked out of the door and made her way to airport.

So, she was just ready to be wrapped into her husband's arms and be plastered with kisses and have a warm relaxing bubble bath before crawling into bed with a tall glass of wine, with some late night snuggling. After her long flight – Los Angeles to Chicago plus being delayed for eight hours – she was just ready to collapse. However, when she got to her apartment, her husband had a little surprise.

"Honey I'm home!" She called sleepily as she let herself in and clanked her keys and suitcase down. She tried to laugh at herself, 'God how cheesy are you?' she thought as she heard herself. She listened out for the sound of her husband. "Baby?" She called out again, now moving from her spot by the door. "Baby are you home? I've had the most shitty day!" She called out as she heard a noise coming from her bedroom, the bedroom she made love to her husband in when they first moved into together after their wedding. "Baby?" She asked, curiously.

The door was closed. He never closed the door. Not even when he was practically passed out on the bed, the door was permanently open. The noise inside sounded like rustling. Quiet talking. Giggling. The door sung open, revealing quite a sight, leaving nothing to the imagination. Quinn's eyebrows scrunched up. "What the-" She opened the door, slowly, like in the movies, and her mouth gaped open at the sight; her husband of nearly five years, naked with another woman. His secretary.

"How clieche!" She said, loud enough for them both to stop what they were doing and look at her.

"Quinn!" Her cheating husband gasped, pushing his whore off of him. "You said you'd be gone for the week?" The sad thing about his question was that he thought it was a perfectly reasonable thing to ask. "This is just typical!" Quinn huffed, rolling her eyes and tearing her jacket off her body. She stormed over to the woman, who was now crawling out of the bed. Their bed. As the woman – although girl would be a better term considering she didn't look old enough to be out of college – mumbled apologies and pathetic excuses, Quinn grabbed her hair and threw her out of the room, her clothes with her. "Get out of my house you little whore! You God damn whore!" She yelled into the woman's ear as she dragged her out of the house and pushed her into the hall. "Quinn what are you-"

"You want to be thrown out next?" She screeched. "Then shut up!" She growled, heading towards her lying, cheating, worthless piece of garbage she called a husband. "How long?" She asked sternly as she got close enough to him. "Baby," he tried to sooth her as he stood with his back to the window. Lucky they were on the eighth floor, now only the pigeons got to look at his backside. "Answer the question." She spat, her blood boiling. It took a few sharp stares, as he tried to back out of the question, but eventually Quinn made him crack. "Only..."

"No, not only just tell me." She snarled.  
>"Okay, okay..about six months."<p>

"Six months!" She shouted, preparing to lob something at his head.

"But it doesn't mean anything!"

"So it's just sex?"

"Yeah."

"What?"

"No."

"What!"  
>"I mean...what do you want from me Quinn?" He cried, his shoulders sagging in defeat.<p>

Quinn marched around the room, grabbing his gym bag and opened the closet, throwing in as many of his things in it as she could. "You ass-hole!" She screamed as she threw the nearest, hardest, forceful object at her scum bag of a husband. Well, soon to be ex-husband. "Baby please," the man begged, holding one hand out in front of him, the other holding the blanket in front of his dignity, "Can't we talk about this?" He begged as he grabbed his clothes from the floor and began dressing. "There is nothing to talk about you jackass!" Again, Quinn threw something else at him. She didn't care what it was; she was tired and now fuming with anger. "You have been screwing your secretary! Or, should I call her your sex-retary! You dickhead!"

"Come on Quinn! What was I supposed to do?" Quinn now rushed around the rest of their apartment, trying to find all of his things because she didn't want to see him ever again. "You were supposed to stand by me! That's what our vows were for, that's what our marriage is for!"

"Yeah but come on! We haven't had sex in a year!"

"I've been busy! And we do have sex-"

"Oh yeah a quickie after you come in from work and make me do all of it!"

"You are such a pig!"

"And you're so uptight!"

"What?" She snarled once more, this time stopping in their lounge, the bag bursting with things.

"You heard me! All you care about is the firm; the firm this, the firm that, it's all you talk about!"

"At least I have a job!"

"Hey, I have a job!"

"Sitting on your ass all day calling people up and bothering them about wanting to by crap is not a job!"

"Hey I do more than that and you know it! I own that company!"

"Whatever! It's a stupid job! And you're stupid!"

Her husband suddenly grabbed onto her wrist as she was about to break one of his football trophies; what was it with her and football players?

"What happened to you Quinn?" He asked softly. "What happened to the fun girl I used to know? What happened the sexy, dominating woman I married?"

"I guess she's gone." Her tone was low and her volume was quiet, almost like she wanted to cry.

"Yeah, you're right. She's gone back to being a dyke."

"Excuse-"

"You heard me! That's the reason why you don't want to have sex with me and when you do have sex with me you're probably thinking of her-!" The slap sounded throughout their apartment. It echoed and rang in their ears. As her husband clutched at his cheek, Quinn allowed a tear to slide down her cheek. "You promised you'd never bring that up." Her voice was calm, but deep and very, very angry. Her husband simply huffed out a laugh. "Yeah well, you promised to fulfil your duties as a wife. I guess we both break our promises."

"Get the hell out of my house."

He gave her one last look as he picked up his bag and walked out of the door and out of Quinn's life.

Once Quinn heard the front door slam, she crashed onto the couch, placed her face in her hands and sobbed. Allowing herself to think of Rachel, for the first time without feeling ashamed or dirty. In fact, she then got up and walked into her bedroom – her bedroom – and went to her jewellery box. She ignored the pretty pink ballerina that spun slowly and hypnotising and tuned out the music from the Nutcracker ballet. Lifting up the secret flap, she took out the picture she swore she'd never look at again, so long as she was married.

"Rachel." She sighed, allowing fresh tears to fall. Her finger caressed the photograph, specifically Rachel's face.

Every night she went to sleep with her playing in her mind and in her dreams. Every morning she would wake up wishing she was laying next to the brunette. And every time she went to New York, she wished she would – somehow – bump into the beautiful diva.

"Mom, it's me. Is it all right if I stay with you for a while?" Quinn sighed, sighing heavily and rubbed her eyes. She felt a mixture of sadness, anger but of all loss.


	3. Go Have Fun

**Sorry it took so long; this one chapter was just really complicated to write – although reading over it, it really shouldn't have taken as long as it did! Anyway, enjoy! :)**

Chapter Three – Go Have Fun

"Mommy tell me more about the Princess!" Heidi squealed from her seat at the family's breakfast table, jumping up and down. It was nine in the morning, and everyone was running late; except Heidi who was actually ahead of schedule on her drawing and creativity. Rachel, however, was in a desperate rush. When she had told her boss that she had a child, he was sceptical of hiring her, but she promised with everything she had that it wouldn't cause a problem. That she was a dedicated employee and that, just because she was a woman, her family life wouldn't affect her work. Of course, on days like this, she wondered why on Earth she would make such a ridiculous promise. And then she remembered that she needed a job and money. And fast.

"I will tonight little Pixie, I promise." Rachel sighed, rushing around the kitchen trying to find her name badge. Heidi was trying her patience. Every night for the past two weeks, all she wanted to know and talk about was 'Princess Quinn and the Peasant Girl Rachel'. She had become obsessed; talking about it over and over again, drawing and painting pictures of the scenes her mother had told her about...and it was starting to get on Rachel's nerves, not just because it was another distraction from her daughter, but because it was her life she was telling her daughter about. A life she would rather forget, but knew there was no way in hell that she would. And that just made her boil in her own anger.

Recently it felt like everything was piling on top of her and becoming to much. She loved her daughter, of course she did and she loved her dads. She hated her job. It wasn't the worst job in the world, it only had a glimpse of what she really wanted to do. Each night she would watch Damie Laroue sing along to the pianist, and Rachel's eyes would well up. Not because she was good, but because she wished it was her up there, and not her. But the job she actually wanted to do, wasn't seen as a job to her. It wasn't a job. A job was something you did as a way to get money. It implied that it was meant to be a slow, painful, soul destroying ritual that adults had to do. But what she really wanted certainly wasn't that. It wasn't mundane, it was magical. She felt magical. It was her life. Was, her life. Now she had a new life and it killed her a little inside each day. Sometimes, she didn't know when it would eventually crush her and one day she would go to sleep and never wake up. Of course then she would shake her head and tell herself to stop being so selfish and remembered that she didn't have to just care and look after herself. She had a daughter now, and Heidi was her world. Although, that still didn't mean that she wanted a break once in while. And then the vicious circle would begin all over again. And then she would hate herself once more.

"You said that last night and the other night and the other night!" Rachel was dragged out of her thoughts, like being woken from a dream. The light was suddenly returning from her darkness and her eyes focused on the scene surrounding her: her daughter standing on her chair, clutching a red crayon on her hand and stamping her feet. Her hair was loose and flowing, and her cheeks were turning a shade similar to her crayon. The sight of her made Rachel mad once more. And that's what she hated probably more than anything; being mad at the most important thing – person – in her life. The brunette diva in training pouted and continued to growl at her mommy, insisting she tell her more about the Princess and her Peasant Girl Rachel. Rachel shut her eyes for a moment to compose herself, counting slowly to ten before she exploded.

"And I promise you I will tell you more just-" Her voice was grumbling and she could feel the anger – the gun powder being trailed and the match being lit, the spark travelling to the barrels of explosives – travel from her core and rising up her body. Her daddy's voice brought her to snap her eyes open. "Rach do you want me to take Heidi to the park today or you not working today?"

"Daddy I'm trying to leave but I can't find my name tag." She growled again, now looking around the kitchen for the stupid tag that informed uncaring customers who she was. It was classy place, and yet the name tag just made her feel like she was nothing more than a worthless piece of shi-

"Is it really that important?" Her daddy asked, lifting up the children's books and cook books and other objects that were lying around. Since Rachel and Heidi moved in three years ago, the place was beginning to look like how it used to look; before Rachel grasped what it meant to be a clean freak! "Yes daddy it is!" Rachel huffed, throwing things into random places, trying to find the tag.

"Mommy please tell me more about the Princess!" Heidi whined, now jumping up and down.

"Pixie not now." She shot her a glare, but the girl didn't take any notice. "And stop that before-"

"Now mommy! Mommy now! Mommy! I want to know now! Now! Pleae! Please Mommy! Mom-"

"Heidi!" Rachel yelled, cutting her daughter off, her eyes wide with unnecessary anger. She felt the anger boil and steam fly out of her ears. "Mommy is busy! Later!"

There was a brief moment of silence. Heidi staring at her mom. Her lip sucked protectively between her teeth. She had never seen her mom like that before and she didn't like it. She felt what an adult would describe as guilt and shame, but to Heidi she just felt sad and sick. Sad and sick. "Sorry mommy." Heidi mumbled, averting her eyes and sitting back down on her chair. Her grandpappy – Hiram – gave Rachel a look, a raised eyebrow and sympathetic eyes, that made her sigh, rub her hand through her hair and sit down next to her daughter, lifting her out of the chair and sitting her on her lap.

"I'm sorry Heidi." She whispered, resting her lips against Heidi's temple, giving it a soft kiss, "Mommy's sorry she yelled, okay?" She kissed her again, "I won't yell again, I was just a little busy. Also, I'm a little tired, okay? But I'm very sorry I yelled at you." Further wrapping her hands around her daughter's tummy and allowing the little girl to play with her sparkly ring as her head remained down. "Did you not sleep good, mommy?" Heidi asked, still holding the diamond in between her finger and thumb. Rachel felt herself sink as she sighed, now beginning to gently rock her miniature clone. "Yeah," she whispered, "mommy didn't sleep good last night."

"Were you sad again?" Rachel's eyes lifted and rested on her daddy as he sighed and walked round to his two favorite girls. He gently squeezed Rachel's shoulder and smiled down at her before leaving the room for them to have their moment.

"How did you know I got sad?" Rachel asked, trying not to bite her lip, afraid of hearing the answer. Heidi shrugged her shoulders, but replied all the same. "Sometimes I hear you cry."

Hearing her daughter tell her that she knew she cried almost made her want to start crying right there and then. Did that mean her dads knew she cried herself to sleep sometimes too?

"Did you cry mommy?" Heidi asked quietly, trying to make the small diamond make bright colors on the wall. "A little." Rachel admitted, sighing, "But I'm happy now." She told her, trying to sound happy, when really she felt her stomach clench and she wanted to cry all over again.

"Why do you cry mommy? I thought mommys don't cry?"

"Well Heidi, my little pixie star," She hugged her closer, shifting herself slightly so Heidi's weight was more equally balanced on her lap. "Sometimes mommy gets a little sad and a little lonely and she cries because of it, and it's true that mommies don't cry a lot. But I do cry sometimes. Not a lot, but sometimes. It's good to cry sometimes." She smiled a tired smile against her daughter's soft hair. Smelling her kiddy strawberry shampoo.

Heidi was quiet for a little while. Although Rachel couldn't see, the little girl was deep in thought; her eyebrows furrowed and her teeth bit the inside of her cheek, trying to think harder. Her tiny fingers stopped moving the ring on her mother's finger, knowing that she needed to concentrate and allow her mind to have her full focus. She suddenly blinked, signaling that she had an idea. She turned her head, trying to see her mom and beamed a smile, exactly identical to Rachel's when she was younger, and told her in a cheerful voice as her eyes sparkled; "If you're lonely you can share my bed. It's not as big as yours but I'll make room. Penguin can sleep on the floor."

Rachel laughed at her daughter's kind suggestion and she squeezed her harder, making the little girl squeal happily. "Oh well, I'm flattered by your suggestion, but we can't have Penguin sleeping on the floor." She pretended to gasp and sound shocked, as she knew her daughter's favorite toy was as much a part of her as one of her limbs. Heidi thought again, feeling slightly deflated that her suggestion wasn't going to work. Of course Penguin couldn't sleep on the floor! How absurd! Then she blinked once more and she jumped a little as she thought of an even better plan. Turning to face her mom again, she sounded giddy and triumphant. "If you want you can sleep with one of my toys, but not Penguin." She then narrowed her eyebrows, making sure her mother understood her. "She sleeps in my bed with me." Rachel smiled brightly at her thoughtful little girl; the little pout she pulled reminded her of herself, not just when she was her age, but even when she was high school. "That way you won't be lonely and you'll have someone to talk to." Heidi's face resumed to the happy smile and lit up eyes that Rachel loved to see. "Well thank you, I'll think about it, okay?" She returned the smile and kissed her daughter's cheek, holding her lips pressed against her rosy cheek. "Okay." Heidi wriggled; wanting to still hold onto her mom's ring but also wanting to hug her.

Eventually, Rachel made up her mind for her and turned her little pixie around to face her. The little girl wrapped her small arms around Rachel's neck and buried her face into the crook of Rachel's neck, her small nose pressed to her collarbone and trying to smell as much of her mom's sent as possible. Rachel didn't really wear perfume, not that Heidi knew that, but she loved her mother's scent and even took one of her mom's blouses to snuggle up to at night. Of course, she did it sneakily so that her mommy wouldn't tell her off – not that she would, but that's just how her four year old mind worked. Rachel smothered her daughter with her arms and brought her as close and as tightly to her body as she could, completely forgetting about her work and how mad her boss would be now that she was sure to be late. She didn't care. All she wanted was to feel her daughter's heartbeat against hers. She tightly closed her eyes and felt a relaxing calm wash over her, as she breathed in her daughter's little girl aroma. She smelled of candy and strawberries. A perfect combination for a four year old. _Has it really been four years? _Rachel found herself asking, but quickly got rid of the thoughts – and the memories that were following, allowing herself to just bask in the present. _Has it really been ten years since-_

"Tell you what," Rachel snapped her eyes open and pulled herself away from her daughter's tight, yet soft, grip. Staring right in her daughter's red tinted, light brown eyes she smiled and made her own red tinted deep brown eyes widen and brighten. "Why don't you draw me a nice big picture! With lots of color from when I get back from work?" She knew how much her daughter loved color; not one spot of their house was left without it, thanks to the numerous paintings and drawing that decorated the walls! And one or two 'spur of the moment' artistic creations on the walls, again, thanks to a younger Heidi set loose with a crayon or a paint brush. "Okay!" The young girl cheered, her mind already flashing with images that she could draw especially for her mommy. Anything to make her happy. Again. "Good girl." Rachel knew that if Heidi didn't go into the performing arts – either singing or acting or dancing, like she had previously in an almost forgotten life – she would certainly be an amazing artist. She kissed Heidi on her cheek before putting her back in her chair, as her dads came in.

Her daddy – Hiram – sat next to Heidi and helped her with her drawing whilst her dad – Leroy – handed Rachel her name tag with a slight smug look on his face. Rachel took the name tag and thrust it into her bag, rolling her eyes at him, thinking he must have hid it from her. A spark suddenly went off in her mind and she fumbled around in her bag once more.

"Oh, Dad here's the rent money I owe you." Rachel said, pulling out a cheque of her bag and handing it to him. Her dad accepted, but frowned as he saw it. He looked as if she had given her one of Heidi's old diapers to throw away in the trash can. "Rachel you do not owe us anything-" He began to sigh, but Rachel cut him off, putting on her jacket. It was spring, but there was still a little chill in the air. She made a mental note to remind her father to put on Heidi's warmer coat instead of her usual spring coat. Both pink, so she would have to show him herself before she left. Of course he would protest and tell her that he knew which coat it would be, but she would still show him and he would comply knowing that Rachel would beat herself up over it if Heidi – God forbid – got a cold!

"Yes I do." She sighed, rolling her eyes, not wanting to go through the same conversation she had every few months with her dad. It always went the same way, but this time Rachel couldn't be bothered with firing new ammunition at him. "Rachel we are not going through this again-" Leroy told her sternly, fighting the urge to roll his own eyes at his own little girl – even though she was now an adult. "Then just take the money!" Rachel begged, raising her voice but not wanting to. Really not wanting to get angry again, after just calming Heidi down after her last outburst. "I will not take my own daughter's money." Leroy stated and began thrusting the cheque back at her.

"Dad I owe you-" Now it was Rachel's turn to be interrupted by her father. Who was equally stubborn. She knew she got her stubbornness from her dad, even if he wasn't her biological father, it was amazing what attributes and mannerisms children pick up from the adults that surround them. It made Rachel wonder, quickly, what Heidi will pick up – or already picked up. "No you don't, and if you did it wouldn't be...two hundred and eighty five dollars!" Her dad practically shouted the figure, making his husband and his granddaughter snap their heads up to look at him.

"And twenty three cents!" Heidi chipped in as she coloured her paper in a dark red. Beaming a smile at him, thinking she had just got an answer right in one of their Family Game Nights. Her grandpappy smiled at her and ruffled her hair. "Thank you Heidi." Rachel chipped, grinning at her unimpressed father. Leroy was not happy, and ignored his granddaughter and shot Rachel a look. "Why does Heidi know how much you've written on a cheque?"

"Mommy was teaching me how to count." Heidi told him, her head bowed in concentration as she continued to colour her picture. "She's four Rachel." Leroy spat, raising his hands up in the air.

"Nearly five!" Heidi stamped her foot although, as she was quite high up in her chair it didn't make any sound, she still pouted anyway. "So I'm not allowed to teach my daughter how to count and get ahead before she starts kindergarten in the fall?"

Leroy shook his head as he heard his husband snort, remembering that he had done the same with Rachel when she was her age. After all, Rachel had been a determined learner. In everything, not just academics. A good reason for enrolling her in those preschool dance lessons. Although, both men did think it was a little too soon for Rachel to teach Heidi the very big numbers that she wouldn't need to use for a long time. "Rachel you're changing the subject." Leroy shook his head, pinching the tip of his nose, really wanting Rachel to understand that he didn't want to take any money – not one dime – off his only daughter. "You're the one that asked!" Rachel laughed, shrieking a little to show how pointless he was being. "You know what I mean." Leroy raised his eyebrow again, his voice becoming deep and serious. Rachel ignored his stare, let out a sigh she was holding back and continued, relaxing her shoulders.

"Look, what's the big deal? I have a job, I therefore earn money, ergo I should be paying some of the bills!" It seemed fair enough to Rachel and really reasonable on her fathers parts. She knew that elsewhere, when kids moved back in with their parents and all their baggage, that they were asked to pay a little contribution. "It's not your job Rachel." Leroy sighed, folding his arms and continuing his glare. "I don't care. I want to put in some contribution to us living here!"

"Rachel you are our daughter, the only contribution you have to make is that you are happy, safe and well. Both of you. We will cover the rest."

"Dad-" Rachel whined, rolling her head back, her neck getting stiff and tight from the constant showdown that their eyes were fighting against each other.

Yep, she definitely got her stubbornness from him.

"No, Rachel. If we wanted you to pay rent then we would ask you to!"

"Or tell you to move out and find a place of your own." Her daddy chipped in, glancing a look at the two stubborn Berrys in front of him before going back to the colouring. Rachel's face fell at her daddy's words. "Do you want me to do that?" Rachel asked, sounding defeated, her voice quiet and her eyes looking down at her feet. "Do you want us to move out?" Her dad saw the way her face fell, seeing the wheels turn inside her head as she began to make herself feel sad; remembering all the things that had happened in the last few years. He sighed and moved over to his daughter. "No of course not, we love having you here. You and Heidi, of course we do."He moved his arm around her shoulders and brought her closer. "The why can't you just accept the cheque and quit making such a big deal out of it?" She asked, trying to wriggle herself out of her dad's clutches, but sinking further into his warmth. He breathed in scent, just like Heidi had done previously. Sometimes he wish his little girl was just that; still his little girl.

He unfolded the cheque and presented it to her. He held the piece of paper in front of Rachel's face as she detached herself from him. "Rachel take the cheque and go and buy yourself something with it."

"No." She huffed, folding her arms.

"Why not?" Leroy asked, now forgetting the moment they just shared and returning back to their argument. "Because it is to go towards groceries and bills and-"

"Well, as your father and your 'landlord'," Rachel scowled at her dad as he used air quotation marks. "I am telling you to take this money back and go buy yourself something nice with it."

"I don't want to." She said blankly, shaking her head slightly.

"Fine then buy something nice for Heidi." The little girl was oblivious to the conversation/argument going around her, until her grandpappy tickled under her chin to get her attention. "What would you like Mommy to buy for you Heidi?" Hiram asked.

"Colours!" Heidi squealed as she threw her head up, smiling a huge hopeful smile up at her mom.

"No, pixie you already have lots of colours-" She glared at her daddy now, as she knew her daughter would now go on and on about wanting new colours that her grandpappy 'promised'.

"Teddy!" She squealed, clapping her hands together.

"Pixie-" Rachel sent her daughter a look, but the corners of her mouth we being tugged upward, looking at the adorable face she was pulling. "See, buy Heidi a new teddy or some new clothes or take her out for the day, or put it into her college fund, if you refuse to buy something for yourself."

"Dad!" Rachel stomped her foot, getting annoyed at herself.

"Or, Rachel can spend the money on a night out." Leroy said, changing his green colour for a blue colour, much to Heidi's delight. "What?" Rachel sighed, folding her arms, not happy about the way the conversation was going. "Yeah Rachel, go cash the cheque in and take out a hundred dollars-"

"A hundred?" Her eyes boggled, popping out of her head.

"And go to a bar and have some fun there."

"I'm not really the bar going kind of girl, you know that." Her voice was quieter now, sighing and thinking that maybe her fathers were beginning to have a point; they clearly didn't mind her living with them for free. Even if it bothered her.

"Well just go out and have some fun!" Her daddy cheered, jumping out of his chair and moving over to her and hugging her from behind, trying to blow a raspberry on top of her head. "Dad-"

"Rachel, please do as your dad says and go and have some fun." Leroy told her sternly, now being more serious. Heidi mirroring his expression. Almost. "Daddy-" Rachel groaned.

"No, Rachel when was the last time you went out? And not with either Heidi or ourselves?"

"I...I don't know." Rachel stuttered, refusing to lose this fight.

"When was the last time you had actual fun? And, again, not with either Heidi or ourselves?"

"I don't know." She could see that both her fathers were smirking at each other, and at her.

"Well then," Leroy moved himself away from Rachel and stood next to his husband, folding his arms at Rachel and trying to put a smug smirk on his face, wanting to symbolise a united front.

"It's about time you did now." He told her, raising his eyebrows at her as Hiram linked her arm.

"Daddy, I can't." Rachel sighed, really not wanting to go out. Knowing that she was going to see her little girl in the evening was what kept her going through the day, even if it was sometimes past midnight when she would creep into her room and tuck her in as she slept. Her fathers rolled their eyes at her and Leroy stepped over to Rachel, holding his daughter at her shoulders and staring down into her eyes. "You've been saying that too many times for too long now Rachel, it's time you got rid of that attitude and go and have some fun!" She knew exactly what he meant, but it hurt all the same. Her eyes slid away from the intense stare her father was showing her and she looked at the floor.

It had been a long time since she had been around her friends. Kurt didn't live too far away, wanting to stay near his dad and help him out in the shop when he could as well as working for a fashion company, so she supposed it would be nice to see him and catch up. She hadn't seen him since she moved back home and he saw Heidi for the first time. He was sort of like her uncle, 'Unkie Kurt' as Heidi called him. Also, through Kurt, she did still keep in contact with Mercedes even though she was now living in Florida working with a music producing company. It looked as if everyone she liked had fulfilled their dreams: Kurt as a rising fashion designer and Mercedes helping other artists to produce music. Now, she was living her own dream, albeit a little differently to what she had originally planned.

"Yeah mommy, go have fun!" Rachel was snapped out of her thoughts once more as she heard Heidi cheer her own, now standing on her chair again with a big grin on her face. Her eyes lighting up. Rachel had spent almost every waking moment thinking Heidi. She lived for that little girl; to see her smile, hear her laugh or sing and watch her grow. They were always together, when thye could be of course. Rachel loved nothing more than giving her a bubble bath and playing with her toys before she went to bed. But, maybe her fathers were right. Maybe she needed to go out and be with people her own age. Meet new people and start living again. It wasn't New York City, but still, she knew Lima and knew that there were some places she could go. It might even be fun. Then she thought of Heidi again and she was brought back to thinking she was being selfish to wanting to leave just so she could have some time to herself.

"But-" She was about to protest, claiming that she couldn't possibly leave Heidi, but of course her dad could see what she was about to say and put an abrupt end to that thought process before it could grow. "And don't you dare bring in your daughter as an excuse for why you can't go out, because you know she wants to spend time with her grandpas without her overprotective mommy!" The two men looked back at their precious granddaughter, knowing that they were going to have to give her a big treat whilst Rachel was out for subconsciously agreeing with them.

"Mommy have fun! Please." Heidi begged, smiling a somehow even bigger smile than before.

"Heidi," Rachel sighed, knowing that she wouldn't be able to resist her little pout.

"Please mommy. Then you might make a friend and won't be lonely any more." There she went again, making her unknowingly break her mother's heart; with that one look and one sentence.

After a few seconds of some deep intensive staring into her daughter's eyes, Rachel finally gave in and sighed, her shoulders slumping. "Fine. Fine I'll go." The kitchen was then filled with the sounds of her fathers cheering in triumph and grinning wildly, like they won the lottery. Rachel scowled at them and pouted, placing her hands on her hips. "But I'll be back before ten."

"Twelve." Hiram told her.

"Eleven." She told him back.

"Thirty?" Hiram raised an eyebrow, knowing he was pushing his luck. Rachel pursed her lips and made her eyes scowl at the grinning men. "We'll see."

"Adda girl." Leroy cheered and handed her the cheque back, wrapping his arm around her again.

"Yey mommy!" Heidi giggled, clapping her hands as wildly as her grandfathers' smiles.

"Now I really need to go to work!" She called as she left the kitchen, not before patting her fathers arms and giving Heidi one last kiss on her forehead.

Across the town, really just a few blocks away; Quinn had been staring at the television for the past thirty minutes, nibbling on her cold toast. She wasn't hungry. She wasn't tried. She wasn't anything. She wasn't even paying attention to the show she was watching. Her mother came in the room, sighing heavily and placing her hands on her hips as she stood near her daughter.

"Quinn, you've been hanging around this house for days now." Judy's voice was strict but it also had a tone of caring. Of course she cared about her daughter, she loved her and they had put everything behind them – at least she had – and she was now no longer making up for it but just trying to be a normal, concerned mom. "You haven't eaten or slept or left the house. I'm just glad you've showered and brushed your teeth, even though you've been wearing the same clothes!"

"What's your point?" Quinn asked without a hint of caring, not turning her eyes away from the uninteresting program.

Judy was getting angry now, she puffed out heated air and stepped in front of the television, blocking Quinn's uncaring view. "My point is you need to get out of this mess!"

"That's what I'm trying to do, mother." Quinn rolled her eyes, shaking her head and pursing her lips, showing that she really didn't care about her old life; being married to an adulterous ass.

"No its not." Her mother challenged her, trying to snap her daughter's attention to meet her eyes. When that failed, she decided to play Quinn at her own game. "That's why you've been mooching around here for the past two weeks!" She knew that would hit her hard and hurt. Quinn sighed heavily and sat up, folding her arms. "So what do you suggest I do?" She raised her eyebrows up at her mother, wanting to hear her suggestions. Judy blinked and her pale cheeks tinted a light pink. "I don't know-" She stuttered, causing Quinn to scoff and snuggle back down into her blanket.

"Exactly." She sighed, smiling to herself knowing that her mother was all talk and no action.

"Why don't you call up Santana and go out?" Judy suggested, knowing that Quinn hadn't spent much time with Santana since she and moved around a lot, due to the converts different high list artists danced for. Quinn rolled her eyes and sighed. "She's in Paris with Brittany, otherwise I would have." Now feeling terrible.

Everyone was doing what they loved; Santana was manager to Brittany and Brittany was a main dancer for some of the hottest stars around, she'd kept in touch with Kurt and knew that he was designing clothes, Finn was a coach to a collage football team in Beverly Hills, Mike and Tina stuck together as they were travelling with various dance and music companies, Artie was a teacher at a high school in Idaho...everyone was doing something they loved! Quinn didn't really want to become a lawyer, but that's what she took her degree in and, sure she was a great lawyer, she never felt fulfilled. In reality, Quinn never really knew what she wanted to once she left high school. She didn't care. All she knew was she was going to go to university to make her parents proud. She had money and a more than comfortable living status – well, before she moved back in with her mom – but she wanted more than that. She needed more! When Quinn was feeling particularly depressed, she would meet up with Puck. Never for anything more than just to talk, he had moved on having expanding his high school pool cleaning business and now ran 'Puckerman's Pools'. He was doing well for himself, which made Quinn happy, but still sad.

Always finding her mind wandering back to the one person she really just wanted to see...

"Well what about...What about-" Judy had been trying to think of what Quinn could do, but really all she wanted to say was for her to pick herself up and try and make her marriage work. Something she knew she had no right to tell her to do, considering her marriage had ended up in almost the same way. Her and Russell did get back together, but their relationship was never what it used to be. They were only together for appearances after all. Quinn had heard enough of her mother's pointless suggestions. "See, there is nothing better for me to do other than 'mooch around here' as you call it."She scowled at her mother, lying down on the couch with it a loud growl. Judy huffed and took a deep breath. "Well why don't you go out by yourself."

"Do you know how lame and pathetic that would look?" Quinn spat, her eyes watching the ceiling.

"Oh yes so hanging around in your sweat pants eating gallons of ice cream and watching day time television in your old room of your mother's house isn't 'lame and pathetic' as you call it?" Judy then knew she had the upper hand and Quinn growled under breath as she pulled the blanket off of her and got off the couch. "Fine. I'll go out. I'll go get ridiculously drunk, get talked up by a bunch of stupid guys, probably end up passed out on the side of the street and have to have the cops bring me home or let me sober up in a cell." She walked over to the door as she spoke, going to take a long bath and get ready. "Just as long as you don't get hurt or pregnant, I don't mind!" Judy called, feeling her mouth being tugged into a smile.

"Thanks mom." Quinn replied, sticking her head back round the door.

"For what?" Her mother asked, puzzlement covering her face.

"Not sure, I'll think of a reason." Quinn flashed her mother a smile before dashing out again.

Later that afternoon, after she had swapped her shift around with a colleague, Rachel dressed herself in front of her mirror. It had been such a long time since she had gone out. Well, out at night and alone. She really didn't want to, not just because she was scared but also because she had never been away from Heidi before for a night. This would be one of the first nights where she wouldn't be putting her daughter to bed and that made her shed a tear as she smoothed out her dress and looked at herself. She took one deep breath and looked past her shoulder in the mirror, remembering when she was going out on nights with her husband. One particular night stuck out.

"_You look beautiful, Rachel." He whispered softly against her ear as he kissed her neck, his southern accent and gentle touch sending vibrations through her body. She relaxed into him as he brought his hands around her waist, holding her tight to him. "You look pretty handsome yourself!"_

"_If there was ever a power cut, you could light up the whole state, not just the city!" He nibbled at her collarbone, sending Rachel to giggle and blush."I can't believed I agreed to go out with you, with pick up lines like that!" She placed her hands on top of his, stroking the rough skin on his knuckles. "This ain't a pick up line, darling, it's true. Your beauty shines brighter than all the stars in the Galaxy." He took his head off of Rachel and rested his chin on her shoulder, staring into her eyes through the mirror. Rachel still rested her head against him, breathing in time with him. "I love it when you talk Cowboy." She whispered huskily, never wanting to be let out of his comforting clutches. "And I love it when you talk sexy." He growled playfully, smiling as he kissed her neck, only this time he did it the way he knew she loved it and made her legs go weak at the knees. Leaving her powerless to him. "Louis, not now we have reservations!" Rachel giggled, although she was feeling herself fall deeper into him. "I don't care, I'd rather stay here and eat off you than a table!"_

"_Well, if you're a good boy and you eat up all you food, who knows what we'll have for desert."_

"_Well when you put it like that..." He spun her around, making her scream out before laughing and crashing her lips against his. Deepening the kiss by wrapping her arms around his neck, and being lifted up by his strong arms. He carried her over to the bed an continued his kisses, nips and bites. _

Rachel reached her hand up, slowly and cautiously, to her shoulder, almost feeling his touch on her. Her other hand moved to her stomach, feeling his arm wrap around her waist. As her head rolled back and her eyes close, she could have sworn she felt his kiss on her neck. Or hers. Well, that didn't really matter any more. She prayed that this could be one night where she didn't think of him. Or her.

Snapping herself out of her daydream, she sighed one more time and left her room, glancing quickly at the photographs on her bedside table. The one she looked at tonight, was her favourite picture of her and her husband; they were on a beach at sun set, holding each other and smiling at each other. Love written all over their faces. She was dressed in a pure white dress and had her hair in waves with little pink flowers tied into her hair, as he stood with her dressed in a white shirt and black pants, his fluffy brown hair blowing in the calming wind: it was her wedding photograph. They were under the chuppa, awaiting to spend the rest of their lives together, and neither of them could wait or hold their emotions together. They had both cried when they made love together for the first time that night. A night Rachel replayed again and again in her dreams.

Descending the stairs, she felt her heart flutter at all the things that could happen once she stepped out of her front door. Her dads were waiting for her at the bottom of the stair, like they had done when they were waiting for her when it was the day for her prom or when it was the day for her wedding, and, sadly, when it was the day she had to bury her husband. Each time she floated from those stairs, she looked beautiful. Now, she looked radient, and both knew she hadn't intended to. It was just her natural beauty that shone through; the beauty they loved most about her.

"Wow Rachel, you look swell!" Hiram said, feeling a tear well up in his eye. He always felt emotional as he watched his daughter ascend from the stairs. It made him imagine she was a princess from one of the story books he read her as a child. "Yeah honey, you look a million dollars." Leroy agreed, smiling brightly at his little girl. Rachel smiled at both her fathers but laughed at her daddy "Swell? Daddy, the thirties called and they want their slang back!"

"Watch it Missy, you're not too old for a grounding!" He said, pointing a finger at her and winking.

"Don't you dare Hiram! You know how long it took for her to agree to go out tonight!" He pulled a stern look at his husband, which made him laugh and he patted him on the arm. "All right, maybe you won't be grounded. But definitely no picking the movie on family movie night for a month!"

"Oh daddy!" She gasped sarcastically as she bent down to kiss Heidi, who had been waiting to see her mommy too. Smiling up at her mommy in pure awe. She was dressed in her pyjamas, her hair neatly tied back in plaits. She took hold of her hands and smiled into her little girl's large eyes. "Now Heidi, I'm going out but I promise I won't be gone long, okay?"

"Okay." Heidi smiled, thinking how beautiful her mommy looked.

"And if you need anything, anything at all, then you tell grandpa and grandpappy okay?"

"Okay." She smiled again, not really listening to her, but focusing on her mother's beauty.

"And if you want me to come home for whatever reason, like you miss me or you want me to-"

"Oh no, you're not guilt treading your child and using her as a scapegoat!" Leroy said, guiding Rachel, and turning her around so she walked towards the door as Hiram held the little girl's shoulders protectively so Rachel couldn't hold onto her. "Get out of here and have fun! You remember what that is right?" Hiram teased, laughing and holding Heidi's hand in his.

"Funny dad! Goodnight." Rachel scoffed, rolling her eyes and winking at him quickly.

She kissed both her fathers cheeks and made her way to the door. Heidi was clinging onto both of her grandparents' hands now, standing between them as she called out to Rachel, "Bye mommy!" In her happy, high pitch, excitable little girl voice. Her eyes lighting up. "Bye, my little pixie-star." Rachel called back over her shoulder, mirroring her lit up eyes and bright smile. "Mommy?" Heidi called out once more as Rachel was almost over the threshold of the house. "Yes little star?" Rachel stopped to look back at her, still smiling. "You look really pretty. Daddy thinks too." Her daughter smiled up at her and blinked, making her look even more cute and adorable. Her squidgy penguin that was tucked under her wing – arm – also smiling up at her some how.

Rachel froze. Turning back round with a face of sudden shock. The sight of her precious, tiny version of herself brought tears to her eyes and almost shattered her heart once more. Her innocent look on her angelic face. She couldn't possibly understand how she made Rachel feel at that moment. A cocktail of emotions; sadness, overwhelmed, cherished...a sense of abandonment.

Heidi never knew her father, she didn't even have a picture of him as Rachel found it too hard to bring up the subject on a regular basis, but somehow she still knew that Rachel missed him. Of course, her tears weren't just for missing him, but also for missing someone else. And the guilt ate her up inside.

"Thank you little star." Rachel smiled, her voice cracking a little. "Be good for grandpa and grandpappy, okay?" Smiling and holding back the tears as she blew her a kiss and then made her way out of the house before Heidi could see her cry. Again.

Both girls made their way out of their houses.

Both girls really didn't want to be out of their comfort zones.

Both girls just sighed and plastered frighteningly fake smiles across their faces and walked in to bar.

Both girls had no idea how their lives were going to change within the space of a few hours.

Quinn had been in the bar for and hour and she had swallowed too much alcohol for her own good, not that she cared. It was as if with each shot or glass of whatever she was drinking, feeling it burn down her throat and settle in her stomach, was like a weight was being lifted off her shoulders. Sure, some guys had come up to her and tried to put the moves on her. At first, she just smiled and made flirtatious comments, allowing them to buy her drinks, but then she would get bored and they would leave after the realised she wasn't going to give them what they wanted. Still, a free drink is a free drink, that's what her soon to be ex-husband used to say. She sighed and gulped back another white wine, allowing her eyes to remain closed for a little while.

"How did I get to this?" She muttered to herself. She was Quinn Fabray; the most popular girl in her school, the one who everyone was sure to live the perfect life. She had an awesome law degree, had several properties under her belt, had a percentage in a business that she didn't care about...basically she had money, and everyone knew that money made you happy! Well, Quinn wanted more than that. She always had! She wanted a marriage – a husband – and a family and a dog. She wanted love! Not just money and nice clothes, material things didn't count, not as much as they used to anyway. But, what had she ended up with? A cheating husband and a confused mind. She was just a confused, spoilt little girl: not knowing what she wanted until it was too late.

"Ten years is a long time." She sighed as she rubbed her temples with her fingers. Feeling the throb of the alcohol mix with her blood.

"Hello, just a diet lemonade please." The voice had awoken Quinn from her tipsy daze. She

She knew it. She knew it well. It was comforting yet scary. Like hearing an old song from your childhood being played on the radio; it was a great, happy feeling but then hit with a sinking feeling of dread. An 'oh my goodness' moment. Shame that she knew the voice but also euphoria that she knew the voice too. It was weird. But, comforting.

Quinn turned her head, her eyes leaving the numerous bottles of liquor on the shelf in front of her, and grazed over the figure where the voice had come from. It was a timid voice, tired and sighing, sounding like she didn't want to be there. The voice sounded exactly what she felt. And when her eyes had stop scanning the – perfect – body, they melted at the sight of the enchanting face.

A blast from her past; the most beautiful, brunette blast she had ever seen in her life or in her dreams, was standing barely a few metres away. Her heart had jumped into her throat. It stopped beating and her limbs felt heavy and jelly like.

It couldn't be? No way. Why on Earth would she be here? In Lima, Ohio! Didn't she live in New York City? Fulfilling her own dreams, just like she knew she would? Why would she be here? And in this bar? She was not a bar girl. Unless she was with someone. But, the longer Quinn stared – drooled over – at her, she realised that she was here by herself, sipping at her drink in a very ladylike manor. She kept to herself, perched like a cockatoo on a branch on her stool, not making eye contact with anyone. Staring at the coaster her drink had been placed on. Quinn's eyes found themselves staring at her lips. Those full, luscious lips. They moving, slowly and occasionally her teeth would bite down on the lower one, but releasing it, allowing the pink colour to flow back. Then they would be coated in a light sheen of saliva, as her tongue would flick out and swipe over her lips, before the delicate hand would lift the glass up and she would take another sip.

What she wouldn't give to be that glass. Touching those lips.

Quinn then realised what she was doing; she was silently singing to the words of the jukebox. And a smile flashed on her own lips; still the same Rachel Berry, always singing.

Of course, Rachel wasn't singing. She never sang now. Only mumbled, miming along to the words.

It wasn't like she could escape from music; it was her life. At least getting out of New York and moving back home with her parents was slightly easier. She felt deaf and lonely. It sounded ridiculous because she could hear sounds, but music was just different. It didn't matter what type of music or what genre; she lived for music. Breathed music! She was addicted. It was her drug. For almost a whole year she didn't listen to a single note: turning off the radio, turning down the volume on the television whenever a commercial came on, even to the point where she would yell at her fathers if they even whistled. Still, as much as she wanted to never hear a chime or note again, she couldn't. So instead she allowed her ears to listen to music but forbade her mouth from making a single musical note.

Rachel hadn't sung since the funeral. She remembered it well. The song wasn't perfect, but she figured that it's imperfection would symbolise how she felt her life would never be perfect again. As she sat in the bar, sipping her cool, refreshing drink and feeling it slide down her burning throat – from the tears she had shed on her way over – she felt her body shutting down for a moment. Her eyes closed and filled with hot tears again as the flashback to that horrible day took over.

_Dressed in a black dress that covered her shoulders and covered her modest, her hair tied with a black ribbon, she prepared herself for possibly the second worst day of her life. In the car ride over, she had silently thought of all the other worst days of her life; meeting Shelby but getting rejected by her, having her heart broken into a billion pieces, the night her husband was taken away from her and then now. In reality she hadn't had that many truly 'worst days' in her life, but they were still pretty horrible. Here she was, stood in her synagogue that she had joined with him before they got married, and preparing to bury her husband. Every second she felt sick. _

"_I know it's not custom to sing at a funeral but, I know that my darling Louis, my Cowboy," she smiled remembering how she would wake up to the sound of his southern voice singing 'Good Morning Beautiful' to her and she would call him her 'cowboy'. It then hit her once more, that she would never hear Louis sing to her to wake her out of her peaceful slumber. She sniffled and shook her head, trying to compose herself, "I know that he would love to hear me sing one last time, before he is to spend the rest of eternity in a place where he might not be able to hear me." As she gathered herself once more, her eyes flickered towards her fathers; her dad holding her dad's hand in a tight grip as he forced a smile on his face. "This is, well was, one of my cowboy's favourite country songs. We danced to it in our apartment and, well I just...I think he'd like me to sing it now too." She stood slightly to the side of the Bimmah, revealing her swollen stomach and placed her hand on it. Stroking her stomach, imagining her cowboy doing it, she whispered; "I also want you to hear me too." Her other hand swiped away a stray tear and she stared ahead of her. _

"_It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen all dressed in white, going to the church that night. She had his box of letters in the passenger seat,six pence in her shoe. Something borrowed something blue and when the church doors opened up wide she put her veil down trying to hide the tears oh, she just couldn't believe it. She heard the trumpets from the military band and the flowers fell out of her hands_

_Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go I was counting on forever, now I'll never know_

_I cant even breathe. It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background._

_Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now. This can't be happening to me. This is just a dream_

_The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray. Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt_

_then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard. Then they handed her a folded up flag and she held on to all she had left of him oh and what could've been_

_and then guns rang one last shot and it felt like a bullet in her heart_

_Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go I was counting on forever, now I'll never know. I can't even breathe. It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background. Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,This can't be happening to me. This is just a dream_

_Oh, oh Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to goI was counting on forever, now I'll never know. Ohh I'll never know. It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background. Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now,This can't be happening to me. This is just a dream_

_Oh this is just a dream, just a dream, oh!" _

_Her eyes were streaming with tears but still she promised that that would be the last time she would sing. Ever. _

Amazingly, her tears hadn't caught anyone in the bar's attention. She hurriedly wiped them away and cursed herself for crying. Cursed herself for remembering. Cursed herself for the guilt she had to live with now, more than ever. Another song came on the jukebox; a Streisand. And she laughed to herself, looking up at the ceiling.

"God, why are you testing me so?"

Her heart wanted nothing more but to stand up on the bar top and start singing this particular song to the top of her lungs. Of course, she couldn't. Nothing could make her sing again. Not even Heidi. When she gave birth to Heidi, her fathers begged her to sing her something. But, as she looked into her baby girl's eyes, it broke her heart. The only sounds that Heidi heard from her mother were here sobs. And that killed her as well as everything else.

"I'm such a mess," she sighed, knocking back the last of her drink.

Quinn couldn't stop herself, she had somehow straightened up and cleared her throat, then deciding to walk over to the brunette. Well, she had been staring at her for what felt like hours. It was only 'polite' to go over and actually talk to her. It wouldn't be that strange, or awkward. She hoped.

Her legs felt heavy and non-existent, not just because of the alcohol because of the nerves she was suddenly overcome with. She wandered over to her and stood just to the side of her. Thankfully, Rachel was oblivious to her which made the whole thing a little easier. Yet a little harder.

"Still singing along to love songs, huh Rachel?" She smiled, trying to sound as cool and calm as possible however instantly regretting her 'opening line'.

Rachel's eyes flicked away from her own daydream and turn immediately to face the voice that had called her name.

"_Seriously why are you testing me?" _Rachel asked G-d again as she stared into the most stunning, elegant, breathtakingly beautiful face she had ever seen. It was such a shame that those eyes and lips belonged to such a heart-breaker.

"Quinn?" She squeaked.

"Hi." Quinn greeted, blushing a little and shifting in her rooted spot.

"Hey." Rachel replied, her voice hardly reaching a volume suitable for human ears. Of course, Quinn Fabray wasn't a human; she was fallen angel.

Both girls stared at each other. Time standing still for the both of them. Everything was blocked out and they were stuck in their little bubble.

Too many memories were flashing before their eyes; Rachel's especially:

"_Rachel Berry? Are you serious, Mr Shuester?" _

"_No need to be so rude about it Quinn Fabray!" _

…_..._

"_Let's just get this over with-" _

"_Why do you have to be like that?" _

"_Like what?" _

"_That! Snappy and sassy and rude and just plain old mean?" _

"_Shut up, Berry!" _

"_Not until you talk to me nicely, Fabray!" _

"_Wait, did you just say I'm 'sassy'?" _

"_I..I may have done." _

"_Well don't call me that." _

"_Why not?" _

"_Because I might just call you something back." _

"_What? Man-hands? Treasure Trail? Ru-Paul? Heaven forbid you might actually call me by my first name!" _

"_How about cute?" _

"_What?" _

"_Or, adorable?"_

"_What are you-"_

"_Or impossibly talented?" _

"_Is this a trick?" _

"_Only if it was Halloween, but I'd only want to give you a treat." _

…_..._

"_You're kidding?" _

"_No. I've never been more serious in my life." _

"_But...but you're Quinn Fabray: head cheerleader, president of the-" _

"_No need to read out my reseme. I want you Rachel. I mean, I want..to take you out on a date." "And you're not kidding?" _

"_Never about this." _

…_..._

"_Rachel, no. We can't. My mom's downstairs-" _

"_Relax Quinn, we've made out at my house-"_

"_Yes but you have two very relaxed, liberal fathers. I live with Satan's wife!"_

"_Calm down and kiss me-"_

"_Rachel! She thinks we're working."_

"_And, to some extent we are." _

"_No Rachel we can't." _

"_You want a bet?" _

"_Don't do that." _

"_Do what?" _

"_That! That voice! That look! Those lips-" _

"_These breasts?" _

"_I'm so going to hell." _

"_To be honest, we're in Lima, we're already there!" _

"_True." _

…_..._

"_Rachel Barbara Berry!" _

"_Quinn Lucy Fabray, you are beyond drunk!"_

"_You're right! I am! I am drunk! I am completely intoxicated by you!"  
>"Quinn-"<em>

"_I love you Rachel!"_

"_What?"_

"_I love you! And I want to sing to you!"_

"_Do you realise what you just said."_

"_What did I say?"_

"_I love you!"_

"_I love you too!" _

"_Quinn!"_

"_Rachel!"_

"_You're fantastic!"_

"_And you're radiant! Now let me come inside so you can warm me up, I'm freezing tits off out here!" _

…_..._

"_Daddy, Dad, I'm in love with Quinn." _

"_Sir, and I guess..Sir again, I love Rachel. I love her more than life and I know it's a cleiche but it's true."_

"_Don't hurt her."  
>"I promise I won't"<em>

Rachel refused to allow herself to remember more.

Quinn was barely breathing. All of her feelings for the girl – the ones she swore she had killed and hidden away – suddenly rose out of their resting place and came to life.

"_I guess promises are easy to break." _Rachel thought, as pealed her eyes away from Quinn's.

"I have to go." Rachel whispered, tearing herself away from Quinn's watch. Quinn could feel her slipping away – this time she wasn't going to let her go. She knew the last time it was her own fault, but this time she wouldn't let it happen again. "Wait!" Quinn called, reaching her hand out. Not close enough to touch her, but goodness she wanted to. But, obviously she knew she couldn't Not yet anyway. Not in that way. Rachel turned back around, lip in between her clenching teeth. "Do...Do you want a drink? My shot? No pun intended!" Quinn shrugged, nodding towards the bar.

Rachel sighed, her hands clamming and beginning to form into non-threatening fists.

"I don't know.."

"One drink," Quinn began to beg. "And..maybe a shoulder to cry on? I've had a really tough couple of weeks." She now bit her lower lip in her teeth and tried to fight the urge to look down. Rachel ran her hand through her hair, knowing that it was probably a bad idea. After thinking of too many painful memories, she really just wanted to go home, tuck her daughter up into bed and be held by her fathers until she herself fell asleep. Well, really she wanted her Cowboy but that was never going to happen. "Quinn-" She sighed again, this time heavier.

"Please, for old time sake? I just want to talk. That's all. As friends. A catch up. Please?" Her eyes were so pleading and felt so heavy, but that was probably just from the alcohol.

Rachel couldn't fight the urge any more. She looked into her ex-lover's/girlfriend's eyes and fell in love once more. Just with her eyes. They always mesmerised her and this was no exception. She then heard her father's words; "_Get out of here and have fun! You remember what that is right?"_

She sighed and smiled a small smile at Quinn."Lemonade and lime."

"What?"

"My drink, lemonade and lime."

"No alcohol?" Quinn raised her eyebrow at her as they sat down.

"I don't drink."

"Fair enough. I'll just have to drink for the both of us!"

"Just don't get too drunk Fabray, I know what you're like!"

"Yeah well, as long as I'm with you I won't get pregnant, right?"

"Right." Quinn ordered their drinks and turned to face Rachel. "Salud."

"Salud."

They chinked their glasses together and prepared themselves for the long journey ahead of them.


	4. Stories Unfold

Chapter Four – Stories Unfold

Quinn had stuck to her promise; she had really drunk for the both of them and was now very tipsy, borderline drunk, slightly slurring her words and kept nibbling on the inside of her cheek as some sort of drunken twitch. It made Rachel smile and giggle on the inside. She was a little hyper from the amount of soda she had drunk; feeling like a little kid at a party!

They'd been talking about small things; television shows, the economy, global warming at one stage...but then they stared to get talking about the real things that mattered: themselves. Neither wanted to talk about the past. It was just too awkward. And uncomfortable. And painful. Rachel didn't want to talk about her present either, as much as she loved Heidi, she just didn't want to bring her up. She was the easiest subject to talk about in the world! But...something was telling her not to talk about her. Something in her subconscious, pulling any information about Heidi out of Rachel's brain.

_Just for the night. Just until you're comfortable talking to her again_, it told her.

"I've done the one thing I never wanted to do." Quinn sighed, as she sipped her cocktail through a straw. She hated to think of the headache she was going to have the next morning. Still, she'd suffered pain before, a measly little – okay, large – hangover wasn't going to kill her. "What's that?" Rachel asked, swallowing her diet coke and placing the glass back on the coaster, then staring at Quinn's tired eyes. She licked her lips and sat herself up as she sighed once again. "End up like my mother. I've turned into my mother." She registered Rachel's puzzled face so she took one more sip of her liquid poison and began to explain. "My husband cheated on me, and has been cheating on me, with his secretary for the past six months and I'm pretty sure she's not the only one."

"Quinn I'm so sorry." Rachel apologised, wiping her bangs out of her face so she could see Quinn's own eyes. Amazingly, after all these years and after the clear disappointment and heartache of her husband cheating on her, they still sparkled. Quinn snorted a little at her apology. "It's okay, it's not like anyone died!" Quinn tried to laugh, knocking back her cocktail, not noticing the pained, saddened look in Rachel's eyes. "You're taking the breakdown of your marriage well-" Rachel commented before being cut off by Quinn. "To be honest it wasn't much of a marriage to begin with!" She watched as Quinn downed the last of her drink and ordered another one.

It became a little game of 'how many cocktails can I buy with the remaining thirty dollars in my purse?' and Quinn seemed to be winning, considering the bar tender was hardly paying any attention to the fact she had only paid for about three drinks. The rest were all bought for her by sweaty guys unfortunately surrounding them. Rachel took a breath through her nose, glad that for once she hadn't been asked about her own life first and dishing out attention onto Quinn before her. "Did he, not that there's an excuse but did he give you a reason for why he cheated on you?"

Quinn pushed her drink away and rested her head on her hand, flicking her messy hair out of her face. She was pushing it now with the alcohol, yet somehow she could still see straight. Rachel gave her a sip of her own drink before she allowed the blonde to resume talking. Well, answering her question. "I wouldn't have passionate sex with him any more." She told her so bluntly that Rachel was a little taken back. It was just like she had just told her something trivial like it was raining outside. "Why not?" Curious to Rachel why, her heart fluttered a little and she took deep breaths to try and steady herself. Quinn took another sip and shrugged. "I don't know."

"You do. I know you do." Rachel smiled comfortingly, knowing full well when Quinn was lying.

Quinn looked straight and deep into Rachel's eyes. Should she tell her? Should she tell her that ever since that horrible day, she hadn't once forgotten her? How she never really got over anything that had happened in high school?

"I guess, I never got over..." She desperately wanted to say 'you' but she couldn't. She couldn't and wouldn't scare the brunette off. Not when she wanted to just spend time with her. "Beth. You know." Quinn shrugged, looking down at the table, and making shapes with the water droplets. Rachel nodded understanding. "But Quinn, when you're married you can have children. You don't need to be afraid of disappointing anyone-"

"Yeah well," Quinn jumped in, not wanting to hear Rachel talk about disappointing people when she knew that she herself had disappointed Rachel. A girl who she never wanted to hurt or disappoint. "I guess after Beth...I kind of feel like if I did have more children, especially a daughter, then I'd be letting her down. Kinda like, if we ever met again, and she'd be all, 'well, what's so special about these kids? I mean, what about me? What was so wrong with me?"

"Quinn, she wouldn't say that." Rachel told her softly, grabbing her hand just as a simple reflex. Quinn could feel the tears welling up, but she refused to let them fall. Especially when she was really crying over the woman sat in front of her. The woman sat in front of her, holding her hand. "I know you're right but...I'm just scared." She confessed. And it was true. She was scared, but scared of too many things. Rachel just sent her a simple comforting smile, still holding onto her hand.

The two just shared their moment. Remembering what it was like when they used to sit with each other in bars – and in their rooms and in secret hiding places – just looking at each other and falling more and more in love with each other.

But then, the moment suddenly passed, like a shooting star. In one blink they both snapped out of their little daze and Rachel slowly removed her hand from Quinn's, instantly missing the contact from the blonde. Quinn also felt herself sigh with the warmth and comfort being lost. Her hand picked up Rachel's soda and went to to take a sip. "So, tell me about your life, Rach." She wanted to change the subject, and what a better way to change the subject of herself than to just talk about Rachel? "I haven't seen you in any shows recently?"

Once Quinn had found out Rachel had made her dreams come true and she had gone onto the big stages of Broadway, she lied to her husband by saying she was going to New York City for a lawyer's conference – if there was such thing – but in reality, she had just gone to see Rachel in a show. Hear her songbird voice, see her angelic face and melt into her beautiful eyes. Relive the old memories of when they were in Glee Club and she would sing Broadway numbers in the auditorium.

Rachel shifted in her seat a little, her eyes dropping to the bar table, her fingers drumming quietly on the wooden surface. "Yeah I..." She bit her lip, her eyes narrowing, trying to word herself carefully without going into too much detail. "I don't really sing any more."

"Come on Berry, you love singing!" Quinn gushed, taking a large gulp of the soda. Rachel bit down on her lip harder. Closing her eyes for a brief moment; picturing his face: those big brown eyes, tousled floppy light brown, kind of curly hair, huge childish smile..."It's Dexter, actually." She confessed. Her eyes flicked to Quinn, peering through her long eyelashes. "You're married?" Quinn's eyes almost popped out of her head as she gasped. Regretting her reaction.

_Of course she's married! She's beautiful! How could she not be snapped up. It's not like she was going to wait on the shelf collecting dust, what a waste that would be! Luck guy._ Quinn thought as she tried to still her jealous heart and pulse.

That was when Rachel's eyes flickered down again and she took a deep, shaky breath. Her voice quietened to a hardly recognisable, husky whisper. "Widow, actually." It didn't take long for Quinn's brain to realise what she had just said and she said the only thing she could think of;

"Oh my God Rach, I..I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Rachel nodded her head, hating the expression.

The only person she wanted to hear those words from were from the maniac that did it. That really should be sorry for husband laying six feet under the ground instead of up on stage and fulfilling his own Broadway dreams, coming home from New York City to New Jersey and picking his little girl up in his arms and kissing her, listing and laughing to her stories and then, later in the night after tucking his daughter up, coming to bed and making love to her. He was so gentle and perfect. Yeah, the only 'I'm sorry' Rachel wanted to hear, was from that crazy psychopath. Rachel's eyes twitched with unforgiving anger, as Quinn's concerned and reassuring voice pulled her out of her fanciful and revengeful thoughts.

"No it's not, how..how long were you married for?" Quinn asked, trying to catch Rachel's eye, but the brunette continued to keep her head bowed and her eyes down. Watching her fingers make swirling patterns with the water droplets from the cool drinks. "A little more than a year." Rachel sighed, shrugging as she spoke. _Had it really only been a year? _"Jesus. Rach that's...that's horrible."

"I know." Rachel laughed, biting her lip. Still unsure of how she was supposed to react when someone said that. It had been four years, but it didn't get any better with time. Even after a decade, she was still feeling the pain for...well, she tried to forget about that pain as best as she could. Quinn just shook her head, trying to think of something to say. But..what did she say? She wasn't good with things like this. Normally, when someone had died, she'd turn to her bible and say one of the most horrible phrases in the English language; 'These things happen for a reason.' Of course, that never seemed like the best thing to say. "How did.." But she regretted even thinking of what she was about to say. She thought she would start of slow. Small and simple. Baby steps. "I mean, what was his name?" Quinn asked quietly, as if saying his name would be saying the worst swear word in the English language, or an old legendary curse. "Louis." Rachel met with Quinn's eyes, trying to hold back the hot tears, she replied almost instantly as if his name was always on the tip of her tongue. He was, after all, always on her mind. "Louis Dexter."

"That's a nice name." Quinn smiled quietly, her eyelashes fluttering a little.

"He was a nice guy. And, I loved him a lot." Rachel told her, now fumbling with her hands.

"Of course you did." Quinn scoffed, as if it was obvious. "How old was he?"

"Thirty."

"God Rach. I'm so sorry." She sighed again, shaking her head.

"Thanks." Rachel shrugged, looking down at the water droplets again and then looking back at Quinn.

They smiled at each other again and then quickly changed the subject Quinn's law school days.

Anything to get rid of the heavy atmosphere that had returned.

The evening drew own, and the two girls actually laughed at each other. They had fun. Something neither of them thought would happen that night.

Time ticked on and sooner than later it was time for them to part. They stood outside of the bar, both shivering a little – from the cold or from the nerves, neither was quite sure.

"You look good Rach, really good, considering-"

"Yeah. You too Quinn." There was a little awkward pause as neither really knew what to do or say. It had been a while since they had both been dates, and this just flash backed to their first real date. Quinn broke the uneasy silence. "So, listen do you want to meet up again?"

"Umm...Yeah. Sure, why not."

"Okay, great. How about tomorrow? If you're not working or anything-"

"I am, actually. I'm a five days a week girl. Sometimes six, but that's mostly rather rare."

"Oh. Okay."

"But what about Saturday?" Rachel asked, jumping in as quickly as she could so Quinn didn't change her mind about seeing her again. "Saturday?" Quinn asked, repeating like a parrot.

"If you want. You don't have to I mean we can-"

"Rach, Saturday is perfect."

"Prefect." Rachel sighed, smiling a little out of relief.

"Yeah, perfect. Maybe we can go shopping? And, I'll take you out for lunch?"

"Okay, sure. Shopping and lunch. Sounds good."

"Of course it is, you'll be with me." Quinn winked, causing Rachel to laugh and blush a little.

"You're still full of yourself Fabray!"

"I think I've gotten worse, hanging out with Santana for too long!"

"I always knew that girl was a bad influence on you!"

"Yeah well, at least you've grown out of your animal sweaters."

"How do you know?"

"Oh dear God!" Quinn spluttered as she laughed.

"I'll see you Saturday Quinn."

"See you Saturday, Rachel."

"Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams."

As Rachel made her way through the door, she glanced quickly at the clock on the wall; 12:45. It astounded her that she had been out that long. Been with Quinn for that long.

"So Rach, did you have fun?" Leroy asked, leaning against the banister of the stairs, dressed in his 'old man' gown and holding a mug of coffee in his hand. "Yeah," Rachel smiled, remembering the night and for once not feeling any sort of guilt. "I did actually." She smiled up at her father, who looked at her with a quizzical expression. Rachel chose to ignore it. "I'm off to bed, thanks for looking after Heidi." She kissed her father's cheek and made her way up the stairs, before warning him not to drink too much coffee or else he would never sleep. "Thank you, Mother Rachel!" He chuckled as he made his way back to his den to continue his work.

Quinn arrived home not too long later.

"Quinn? Is that you?" Her mother called, her feet padding across the landing, making their way to the staircase. "No mom, it's the Boogey Man!" Quinn laughed, rolling her eyes. It was meant to sound like a harsh snap, but instead she laughed and couldn't stop laughing until her mother came down the stairs in her dressing gown, wearing a face mask. "Although, having said that I see that you're really the Boogey Man!" Quinn chuckled, feeling a little drunk. Not on alcohol though, just on the pure thought of seeing Rachel again. Her Rachel. She was still the same Rachel. Her same Rachel. Even if she had been married, she was still her Rachel and Quinn hoped that, even though she herself had been married, she was still Rachel's Quinn.

Judy rolled her eyes, folded her arms and sighed. "So did you have fun?" She asked, trying to sound interested, but really she just wanted to go back to sleep. Quinn walked up to her mother and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, taking her back up the stairs. "You know what mom, I did. I had a lot of fun."

That night, both girls slept with memories of the night they had had together. Welcome faces and reliving each comforting smile and gentle touch, creating a sleepy smile on both their lips.

Saturday rolled around quickly. And so did the rest of their time together.

Each time the two woman saw each other, Rachel would wear a little more make up and spend more time on her hair. It felt so...refreshing to get dressed up for someone. No. Not dressed up. Just...looking nice. Yes, that was it. Looking nice. Why couldn't she look nice for her friend? After all, Quinn always looked immaculate without even trying!

One night, whilst they were out Rachel had bought the drinks and they sat in a booth, instead of at the bar where they usually sat. Quinn was the first to start talking, which was a new experience for her, as she remembered in high school never being able to shut Rachel up. Well, there was one way...

"So tell me about your job, so you don't sing any more. What do you do?" Quinn asked, as she sipped on her drink – red wine this time, and she promised it would be the only one after the other night. Rachel swallowed her own drink before answering her question. "Well," Rachel began, placing her drink back on the coaster. "I work as a receptionist at a hotel, The Lima Lodge."

"Oh cool." Quinn commented, although she couldn't think of a more unsuitable job for Rachel to do. "It's not that cool! But, then in the evenings I work as a waitress in the cocktail bar; Parisian Cuisine. It's not really a cocktail bar, but it is in the evenings. It's also where the singers and pianist perform and-"

"So wait, people sing around you whilst you wait on people?"

"Yeah." Rachel nodded.

"God Rach, that must hurt right?"

"Sometimes, but...I made a vow not to sing again."

"Why?"

"Because it's too painful."

"But, surely you can see that not singing is killing you too?"

"I guess, but it's just one small sacrifice."

"Hardly small Rach." Quinn dropped her tone a little as she continued. "Don't you see that Louis would have wanted you to sing now and forever?"

"Quinn, don't try and guilt tread me okay? I get enough of it from my dads."

"Okay. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't," she sighed holding the glass in her hand but not making any movement to drink it. "It's just hard, you know? I blame myself." She sighed, looking down at her drink but suddenly not wanting it any more.

Quinn watched her and felt her heart sink: this was not the Rachel Berry she knew. Okay, she was now Rachel Barbara Berry-Dexter, but still! "What happened to you Rachel?" Quinn narrowed her eyebrows at the brunette and shook her head. Folding her arms she continued; "You used to be so strong, so driven, so independent-"

"Yeah well being scared half to death sort of knocks that strength out of a person."

"What do you mean?"

"Quinn, what's the biggest scar you have?"

"Besides my stretch marks? I guess I don't have any."

"Well I do. I don't sing any more because I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what? What happened to you?"

"Weren't you listening before? My husband died!" It hurt her to say it out loud, after all this time.

"That's no excuse for allowing a piece of yourself die Rachel!" Quinn said harshly, her volume a little louder than she hoped. It caused a few people in the bar to look around at them. Rachel blushed and went back to staring at her drink. Quinn leaned across the table and gently took hold of her little hand, cupping it in her own. "What happened Rachel?" She asked quietly.

"What?" She said, pretending not to hear but flicking her eyes up at Quinn. Quinn raised her eyebrow at her and spoke softly to he.

"Come on Rachel. Tell me what happened. If you feel this guilty and scared then maybe talking about it will help."

"You think?"

"Yeah. I mean, it worked for me about my divorce, so it might work for you too."

"Maybe."

"So, come on. Tell me."

"All right." Rachel whispered, admitting defeat.

Closing her eyes she began to relive the most devastating night of her life;

_Rachel closed her eyes, standing in the middle of her dressing room, as she prepared herself to go on the stage. This would be her last performance for the season, as after this she would go on an extended maternity leave. She hadn't wanted to leave the stage so soon; her argument being she was small and only really just beginning to show, even though she was five month pregnant, of course her doctor, director and agent had all told her that it would be best if she had a job that wouldn't be quite so demanding on her and her unborn child. As well as having professionals instructing her what to do, she also had her amazing, caring, loving husband begging her to take the next few months off to relax and prepare for the birth. After much persuading, she finally agreed that this would end her contract early and instead take it easy for the last four months. _

_She gazed at herself in the floor length mirror; her costume just about hiding her bump. Her blue velvet dress hid it well, but sometimes, especially during a few particular scenes, her bump would be revealed and ruin the illusion that she was an innocent fourteen year old girl, who had fallen pregnant after a night of passion with her friend. "Perhaps it is a good thing I'm stopping when I am!" She told herself, smiling, as she placed her hand on her stomach and soothingly rubbed the bump. "Besides, some of those dance routines are getting kind of hard, what with you wriggling along with your own little rhythm!" She giggled and stroked her bump again. She cupped the top and bottom of her bump and turned to face the side; the costume department had tried to do everything they could to disguise her bump; she was small built at first, so it wasn't too much of a problem. It had only really been the last few weeks as she was going through the transition of her fourth month to her fifth when the difficulties began. The bump wasn't that noticeable. Not really. _

"_Rach?" She was brought out of her daydream by the knocking on her door. She turned and grinned when she saw it was Louis, he would be playing opposite her – although, sadly not her lover, but her lover's best friend. He did get jealous at first, seeing another man kiss and touch his wife, but as Rachel would always tell – remind – him that it was only acting, and that he was the only hero in her life she would ever need or want. "Hey Louis," Rachel called to him in a dreamy tone as she turned back to face the mirror. He knew that tone well, it meant 'come touch me'. He smirked and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her from the behind, pressing his body up against hers and breathing in her flowery scent. His hands resting on her bump. One hand was placed on her actual bump and the other was resting on top of her hand. He held her in a close embrace and sighed as he felt Rachel's free hand caress his face, slowly and soothingly. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, never wanting to let him go. _

_She pressed her cheek up against his smooth skin. Because of the show, he had to get rid of his stubble. She loved nothing more than to feel the scratchy feel of it as she stroked his cheek or kissed his cheek. "Touch me," she began to sing, her eyes fluttering with the effect of feeling his fingers stroke her bump. "Just like that. All silent. Tell me, please. All is forgiven. Consume my wine. Consume my mind. I'll tell you how, how the winds sigh. Touch me. Just try it. Now, there. That's it God, that's heaven. I'll love your light. I'll love you right. We'll wander down where the sins cry. Touch me. Just like that. Now lower down, where the sins lie. Love me. Just for a bit. We'll wander down, where's the winds sigh." As she sang, Louis's hands performed a comforting dance; stroking her stomach and wanting to feel every inch of her pregnant body. _

_They had their moment together. It wasn't long, but it was their moment. _

_Louis moved his head and began to kiss her own cheek, sending little electric shocks down her spine and flush throughout her body. "Haven't you heard the word of our bodies?" She asked him in a hushed, whispering tone. She felt him smile against her neck, heard his lips part and he said; "I have," he hushed, breathing against her neck and nuzzling her. "And it says; 'take me here, now!" He began to kiss her neck again, leaving a trail of kisses along her collar bone and Rachel let out a satisfied laugh. "I wish we could. I would want nothing more than to make sweet, passionate love to you right here, right now in this very room but we can't. We have a show to do. My final show." "You're so honourable." He whispered, now bringing his lips up to her ear. "I love you so much." He kissed her ear and rested his forehead against her head. Rachel turned herself around in his arms, wanting to feel every bit of his body on hers. "I love you too. So, so much." Feeling herself begin to well up, she pressed her baby bump against his toned stomach and wrapped her arms around his neck, pecking his lips with hers. They melted into the kiss; Louis rubbing his hands along her back and squeezing her gently into his body. "We're a family. After this show, we're going to be a family." He whispered against her forehead, kissing it lightly as he closed his eyes. "As I can't wait." Rachel smiled under his smile and closed her eyes. "You're going to be an excellent father." She whispered, allowing a loving tear to slip down her rosy cheek. "You're already the best mother any kid could ask for." He told her, finally opening his eyes and planting two kisses on each of her eyelids. "Now lets go out there and give this crowd something to go home and rave about!" He removed his hands off the small of her back and instead took her hands and lead her out. _

_The show was going well. Really well. Her bump hadn't shown nearly as much as she thought it would and the audience were loving it! But, after the second half, something in the air didn't feel quite right. There was a certain...chill. Rachel could feel it. Looking back on it now, she was probably feeling a sense of foreboding: something telling her that the night was going to change. _

_The deadly scene came up. In both senses of the word. It was the funeral scene and the whole cast was on stage as Louis sang his song. The last song he would ever sing on stage. It was kind of ironic, that the song he was singing was about the hardships of life, at least the hardships his character had face. He was just coming to the last verse when it happened. _

_There was shouting coming from the audience, but, as professional actors, the show continued and carried on as if nothing happened and they were in their own little world. It was only until gun shots were being sounded did everyone realise something was up. _

_From what was a rather peaceful, emotion filled auditorium had now turned into a chaotic mess of people running and screaming for their lives. The curtain was coming down and the stage managers were trying to get the gun man away from the action. _

_Rachel didn't know how it happened. It was all too fast. Somehow he had gotten on the stage. He was screaming and shouting about...Rachel didn't really care. She was just so scared, Louis had rushed over to her to protect her and keep her safe. It only when the man was being wrestled to the ground, shots firing everywhere, did five other men jump up onto the stage, grabbing Rachel and several other members of the cast and holding various weapons to them. _

"_Let her go!" Louis yelled as he rushed over to Rachel. His voice was beyond angry and scared, but his eyes were pleading. Rachel screamed and tried to get away, reaching out for Louis. Just as he was getting closer, and as Rachel was calling for him to rescue her, did she feel the knife slice through her costume and into her. She froze, eyes wide and the colour from her face paling. "No!" Louis bellowed as he lunged at the man. "She's pregnant you idiot!" He spat, punching the man in the face and grabbing hold of Rachel. He ripped off his thick blazer and placed it on her wound. He held her in his arms, stroaking her hair. "It's okay Rach," he whispered, "You're okay."_

"_The baby!" She cried, her voice weak and croaky from the impact. _

"_It'll be okay. Little star will be okay. She'll-" He couldn't finish his sentence, as the two of them heard the shot. "Louis!" Rachel tried to scream, but her vision was going dark. All she could see were her eyes, although they too were clouding over. "Louis!" _

_Darkness over came her. She woke up in hospital feeling sore. She was thankful that she was alive, of course her fist concern was Louis. Where was Louis? Was he okay? Of course, he wasn't okay. The doctor came in not too long after she woke up to tell her that her baby would be fine and that she was lucky that the knife hadn't caused any serious damage to her. She cared, but not at that point. Of course she was thankful that their baby was going to be okay, but she really just wanted to know about Louis. _

_Louis, her precious Louis, had not only been shot in the back – causing him considerable spinal and nerve damage – but he had also been repeatedly stabbed, causing him to loose massive amounts of blood and organ failure due to the punctures. _

_Rachel didn't want to hear any more. She felt sick. Empty. Alone. Of course she wasn't alone. Her baby was going to be okay. But then she felt even worse and a part of her wished – just for a moment, but a moment none the less – that she had lost the baby and not her husband. _

"And that evening was the last time I ever sang." Rachel concluded her story. Her eyes overflowing with tears, but her face remaining straight and hard. Like a rock. The solid rock she wanted to be for Heidi and for Louis. Quinn did nothing but allow her own tears to fall, nodding her head.

The silence between them had been soul destroying as Quinn took in all the information.

"Did you give up anything when we broke up?" She asked, her voice a little croaky from the sobs and tears she was trying to keep back. "Why do you ask?" Rachel asked, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. Quinn shrugged, not being able to meet Rachel's eye. "Just wondered."

"I think so."  
>"Care to elaborate?"<p>

"I think..I gave up falling in love too hard."

"What do you mean?"

"Quinn, come on, I fell for you. Hard. Really hard. Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? A long time!"

"Rach I'm-"

"So, after you humiliated me in front of everyone, I vowed never to fall in love quite so hard. And, then I met Louis and I stuck to my vow. And I've never forgiven myself."

"Why because you didn't fall in love with him?"

"No! I did, but I was still-" Rachel stopped herself before she got too carried away. "I just didn't put all my energy into loving him. That's all." She lowered her voice, trying to calm herself down. She then raised the glass to her lips and drunk the entire drink in that one gulp. Quinn watched as the liquid slipped down her throat. As she waited for her to finish, she thought about her own sacrifices she made that day.

She too promised never to love someone the same way she had loved Rachel.

Quinn then leaned over the table and took hold of Rachel's hand, forcing her to look her in the eye. "I'm glad you told me what happened."

"Why?" Rachel's voice croaked.

"Because now there are no more sorrowful secrets behind us. We can move on now without having to fear of holding anything back." She stared harder into Rachel's eyes. She could see she was trying to be brave; but her lip quiverred and her eyes shook, trying to get rid of the fresh tears without allowing them to fall. "Okay?" Quinn whispered, rubbing small circles on the back of her hand. Rachel sniffled and nodded. "Okay."

Again, when the clock stuck midnight for the two Cinderellas, they made their way out of the bar and parted. Quinn had wanted to ask Rachel out for a while now, and she figured now that she knew everything that had happened to her, she just knew she had to make it better. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, before asking Rachel what was on her mind.

"So, Rach I was wondering if you'd like to..you know if you're not seeing anyone," She then instantly regretted what she said by the hurt look Rachel gave her. Of course she wasn't seeing anyone! Her husband had only been..well, she wasn't dating anyone. "Or busy," she corrected, "Then maybe you'd like to..go out sometime?"

"Quinn-"  
>"Not as a date, but as a friend. A catch up."<p>

"We caught up."

"Yeah but, you know, properly. Dinner and then a walk, maybe? Come on Rach, what do you say?"

"Okay. Sure."

"Okay? Really?"

"Yeah, I guess it would be nice."

"Okay, great. I'll pay."

"No, we'll go halves."

"Rach-"

"Quinn we'll go halves."

"Okay, okay. So shall I pick you up?"

"No! I mean, I'll pick you up."

"Okay."

"I mean, is that all right?"

"Yeah, why would it-"

"Quinn. Your mom." Rachel lowered her tone and rose an eyebrow at her.

"Oh. Right. So, she'll be cool. Besides, it's not a date. Just two friends going out for dinner."

"You're right."

"And besides, if she's not cool with it then...then she'll just have to be!"

"Al right, well great. I'll call you."

"Okay."

"Well..goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Rachel hadn't felt this nervous in a long time. The first time going to Quinn's house was scary, every other time was terrifying. But it would different now. They were adults! And, they weren't dating. And they were adults! She couldn't be afraid of Mrs Fabray – Judy. Quinn had told her to call her 'Judy' as "being called 'Mrs Fabray' makes her feel old". She smiled at remembering when Quinn told her. Her fathers felt the same way. They took in turns to say; "Please call me Leroy/Hiram, Mr Berry is my father!" Even though that was only true for one of them, the guest didn't need to know that.

So, here she was, dressed in blue skinny jeans – that she never thought would see the light of day again, even though it was the evening – and a tight pretty purple top with a sparkly black cardigan, standing outside of Quinn Fabray's front door. Suddenly she felt like a teenager again! As her fist raised itself against the door, she prepared herself. Breathing in and out, in and out. Her little, shaking, fist knocked loudly on the door. She hoped not too loudly. As she waited for the reply – hopefully being greeted by Quinn and not Mrs Fab..Judy – she remembered the events that had happened less than an hour ago as she got ready;

"Mommy are you going out again?" Heidi had asked as she stood against the door frame, Penguin tucked under her arm and her thumb sticking out of her mouth. Rachel saw her from the reflection in her mirror and turned around as she put on her make-up. "I am yes. Is that okay?" She asked, worry furrowing her brow. Heidi nodded at her, smiling but looking at the ground, making Rachel feel guilty. Again. "Come here." Rachel opened her arms and allowed the girl to run into them as she hugged her, scooped her up and placed her on her knee. "Are you sure?" Rachel asked again, this time as Heidi rested her head against her mother's shoulder, she nodded her tired head, sucking her thumb. "Really? Because I don't have to go-"

"No," Heidi mumbled, taking her thumb out of her mouth. "You go, you look happy when you go." A smile instantly formed on her face as she cuddled her daughter close. "Thank you pixie-star." She whispered, rocking Heidi on her knee. "Where are you going mommy?" Heidi asked, trying to keep her eyes open as her mother rocked her soothingly. "I'm...going out, with a friend. On a.." She then bit her lip, wondering if she really was going on a date? They had agreed it wasn't a date..but still...was it a date? Had Quinn wanted it to be a date? Could it really be seen as a date? Could she handle the idea of herself dating again? And, not just anybody but her ex-girlfriend – possibly the real love of her life? "I'm just going out with a very good friend of mine." She smiled, it was tugging at the corner of her mouth, and there was nothing she could do to stop it, thinking about the wonder if it was a date and the fact she was wondering if she was going on a date with Quinn.

"Are you happy mommy?" Heidi asked, succumbing to the heavy weight of her sleepy eyes.

"Yes pixie-star. I am happy."

"I am happy you have a friend mommy." Heidi muttered, finally allowing sleep to wash over her.

"Me too pixie," Rachel rocked, resting her head on top of Heidi's. "Me too."

The door in front of her swung open. A blonde woman stood in front of her.  
>"Rachel? Rachel Berry?"<p>

"Yes Ma'am." Rachel replied, knowing instantly that the woman in front of her was the infamous Judy Fabray. Her nerves just reached a new high. Feeling her palms sweat and her throat grow dry. She remembered prom. Only, the door hadn't been opened by Mrs Fabray, she was 'greeted' by Mr Fabray too.

At least he hadn't showed up this time;

_Rachel has smoothed out her dress and plastered a smile on her face. "It's not a date." She told herself. "As far as they are aware, I'm just picking Quinn up because Finn's car is broken." She was always a little cautious around the older Fabrays. They were, after all, deeply religious and backward in their thinking. Mr Fabray had always had a problem with her two fathers being gay, and that bothered her, but then again she was used to it. She was nervous about seeing Mr Fabray and hoped she could just pick up Quinn and go, and not be asked inside. Her knuckles knocked on the door, lightly at first and then she decided to ring the bell. _

_The ding-dong rung through her ears and echoed throughout the house. Her breath held in her throat as she inhaled the cool air. Although, she was now feeling rather warm and sick from the nerves. _

_Then the door swung open and there stood Mr Fabray, towered over her in a white shirt and grey sweater-vest and grey pants, his blonde (gingering) hair slicked back with what looked like wax, but could have easily just been water. He glared at her and his nostrils flared. "Oh God." Rachel's stomach quivered, as if he could see the (supposedly inappropriate) love she held for his daughter in her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, scaring Rachel further as his booming voice reached her ears. "The Berry girl I presume?" His tone was uncaring but his volume was ear shattering. Rachel nodded her head, feeling like an intimidated little girl standing outside her principle's office, reader for a horrendous telling off. "Yes Sir." She gave him a small smile, unable to meet his eyes, but pretended to anyway. His dark – dark with an unrecognisable anger, not colour – eyes narrowed. "You are taking Quinn to the school prom?" He asked, unsure of her intentions. _

"_Yes Sir," Rachel replied, imagining for a bare second what they would do once at the prom; hopefully sharing a romantic moment during the slow dance, but she shook those thoughts out of her head and continued to talk. Fearing that he could read her mind. "I'm taking her as Finn's car is broken and is currently in the repair shop." She then grinned at him hopefully. Hopeful that he would just let her appearance slide and allow Quinn to come out so they could enjoy their evening together. But instead, he narrowed his eyebrows now. "Why didn't Finn pick up my daughter?" He asked, and Rachel was about to reply – having prepared for this question – but he beat her to it. "He must be a cowered and ungentlemanly for not picking up my daughter himself. He must thi-" _

"_No Sir!" Rachel didn't mean to interrupt him, and Mr Fabray didn't look impressed by it. "I mean, he is sorry that he couldn't pick Quinn up himself. But he also felt that it would be better to meet Quinn there. He also promised to take Kurt, his brother, to the prom too and his date and, he is a very honourable man Sir, thinking of his family before others." She realised that she was just making Mr Fabray prefer Finn over her, but she didn't care: he would always prefer Finn to her, always prefer a man than her, for his daughter. _

_Mr Fabray simply nodded and then the sound of high heeled shoes clopped down the hall. Rachel prayed it was Quinn, but no such luck. Behind him, Mrs Fabray appeared, a stony, cold expression written on her face and something unreadable in her eyes. "Hello Rachel." She greeted, her tone as cold and expressionless as her face. Rachel smiled at her, the same way she had smiled at Mr Fabray. "Good evening Mrs Fabray. You look lovely tonight, may I say." She didn't know why she had just complemented the woman as the only Fabray she wanted to give heartfelt compliments to was Quinn. Who, intern really did look stunning that evening. _

"Come on in Rachel!" Judy exclaimed, pulling the brunette inside and sending her out of her thoughts. She was pulled inside the large spacious hall and admired it once more. Although it had been a whole decade since she had been there, it still looked the same: not changed at all in time, unlike Mrs- Judy. The woman was smiling for one! She still looked glamorous, but the years were beginning to show on her face and Rachel could just about make out a few grey hairs in her tight bun. "My goodness Rachel you look wonderful!" Judy smiled at her, taking hold of her hands and spreading them out so she could fully appreciate her clothes and her body.

"_Thank goodness I'm small."_ Rachel thought, also thanking herself that she hadn't worn anything too tight or revealing – not that she did anyway. She hadn't put on a lot of weight during her pregnancy but even if she had, she would have surely gotten rid of all the baby weight due to her job and, well, stress.

"Thank you Mrs..I mean, Judy. You look wonderful too." Rachel smiled.

"I'm so sorry to hear about your husband dear." Judy gave her that sympathetic look that Rachel was used to. She embraced the hug that Judy felt she had to give her and thanked her for her kind words. "Still, The Lord, Our God works in mysterious-"

"Mother!" Judy was interrupted by Quinn's slightly panicked squeak, as she descended the stairs.

Rachel took her attention off the older blonde Fabray and soaked in the heavenly vision that was before her; another flashback to their senior prom blinded her eyes and Rachel smiled in awe and..adoration?...at Quinn;

_Quinn floated down the staircase, holding onto the white banister with the elegant pose of a dancer, slender fingers wrapped steadily yet giving off the impression of them barely holding on. Her head was held high, extended to its full length showing off her long – kissable – neck, her shoulders pressed back to show off her exquisite frame. Her floor length dress was a pale pink, that complemented her flawless skin. Tied with a slightly darker pink ribbon around her tiny waist. She held it by the hem, like a fairytale princess and she walked with the air of an empress. The skin of her bare, smooth leg was slightly showed, splashing a seductive flare throughout her body. The straps of her dress were thin and barely there, giving off the strapless effect, yet elegantly showing her strong yet very feminine arms. Collar bones were poking out of her vanilla skin, but a simple silver heart pendent hung down – the pendant given to her by Rachel for their three month anniversary. Her cheeks were rosy and her lips were full and painted with a touch of dark red lipstick and gloss – making them beg for Rachel to kiss them. Her hair was tied up in an carefully coiffed style, with a single ringlet hanging down, ready for Rachel to sweep it behind her ear. Finally her eyes sparkled. As simple as that. They sparkled with the majesty of a million stars and lit up the entire room. _

_To say she took Rachel's breath away was an understatement; the whole world stopped turning and time ceased to exist. As Quinn's enchanting green eyes locked with Rachel's she felt herself take in a deep breath and released it, shakily and smile up at her, as if she weren't worthy of her smile or her longing look. _

Now, Rachel stood just as taken back as she had that night. Her heart fluttered as Quinn made it to her, standing inches away. Her aroma was like a welcome breeze.

"Wow Rach, you look beautiful." Quinn said, taking Rachel's hands in the same way as her mother had previously, on this time, it was out of feeling and not duty. She brought Rachel's body to hers, and Rachel had to bite back a moan from seeping out of her throat as their torsos came into contact. "Thank you, although I have to say you look far more beautiful than me!" Rachel blushed as she pulled herself away from Quinn. She was dressed in a similar outfit, although looking far more attractive than Rachel ever thought she could make herself look. Quinn dropped her tone as she gazed with a mysterious look in her eyes. "Well I'm not so sure about that..." She let her eyes gaze a little longer.

Both girls' eyes twinkled with a certain...secret passion, that neither wanted to admit to. Quinn could see it in Rachel's orbs; a little shadow of their past. She had felt it from when they first met each other in the bar, and was afraid if Rachel didn't feel the same. Of course, now she could see it in her eyes. That heat, that passion, that love. The love they used to share for one another and now only kept to themselves. It would take time, but Quinn was sure she could admit to Rachel her true feelings, and for Rachel to do the same. "Anyway, enough of this flirting, let's get going!" Quinn said in a sing song kind of voice as she took Rachel by the hand and lead her out of the house.

"_Flirting? Were we really flirting?"_ Rachel felt her heart beat faster again, but tried to shake the worry out of her mind as she drove them to the club.

Both women had felt such loss in their lives, but now, standing face to face with one another, a strange spark was ignited between them. Found.

As they walked into the delightful restaurant, the song _"You found me", _and both girls looked at each other as the chorus came on. _"You found me. When no one else was looking. How did you know just where I would be. Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion. The ups and the downs. And you still didn't leave. I guess that you saw what nobody could see. You found me. You found me."_Both imagining that the song was being played specifically for them. They both giggled and blushed and they were then seated to their table.

Their dinner was perfect; they talked and laughed and didn't care that they were disturbing other people's dinner. They were just having too much fun. And, to make the night even more perfect, they took an evening walk through the park, where Quinn had suddenly leaped onto a bench and started singing to Rachel, much to the brunette's amusement as the blonde belted out the song;

"_Seems like just yesterday. You were a part of me. I used to stand so tall_

_I used to be so strong. Your arms around me tight. Everything, it felt so right. Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong. Now I can't breathe. No, I can't sleep. I'm barely hanging on_

_Here I am, once again. I'm torn into pieces. Can't deny it, can't pretend. Just thought you were the one. Broken up, deep inside. But you won't get to see the tears I cry. Behind these hazel eyes_

_I told you everything. Opened up and let you in. You made me feel alright. For once in my life. Now all that's left of me. Is what I pretend to be. So together, but so broken up inside. 'Cause I can't breathe. No, I can't sleep. I'm barely hangin' on_

_Here I am, once again. I'm torn into pieces. Can't deny it, can't pretend. Just thought you were the one. Broken up, deep inside. But you won't get to see the tears I cry. Behind these hazel eyes_

_Swallow me then spit me out. For hating you, I blame myself. Seeing you it kills me now. No, I don't cry on the outside. Any more. Any more. _

_Here I am, once again. I'm torn into pieces. Can't deny it, can't pretend. Just thought you were the one. Broken up, deep inside. But you won't get to see the tears I cry. Behind these hazel eyes_

_Here I am, once again. I'm torn into pieces. Can't deny it, can't pretend. Just thought you were the one. Broken up, deep inside. But you won't get to see the tears I cry. Behind these hazel eyes" _

"I've always loved your voice, Quinn. You know that right?"

"I had an inkling." Quinn smirked. "And you know that I've always been in love with yours?"

"I had an inkling." Rachel blushed, still not managing the sexy flirtatious tone. Quinn smiled at her and linked her arm once again before they continued walking. They walked for another ten minutes or so, just enjoying their company., when Quinn again had to break the silence between them. "How about we go out again."

"Yeah that would be nice." Rachel smiled without hesitating.

"No, I mean..how about we 'go out' again."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"It's not that I don't want to. It's just that..Um..."

"You don't want to. I get."

"I like you Quinn. You know I do. It's just...I don't know."

"Well, let's just go out and see how you feel."  
>"Quinn-"<p>

"Come on, one date. We've been out before so this time it won't be that different."

"Quinn-"

"Rach, if you're worried about what Louis would say then...don't. I'm sure he'd want you to be happy."

"I know he would."

"Well then," she smiled shyly and picked up Rachel's hand, "Why don't you let me make you happy?"

There was another small pause as Rachel chewed on her lip. "Let get back to you, Fabray." She smirked, although on the inside her stomach was fluttering too quickly to breathe. "Sure," Quinn smiled back. "Just let me know, Berry." She knew that she would be able to make Rachel fall in love with her again, it would just take time.

They were really going on a date. A real date. The thought excited yet terrified Rachel. She was happy but overcome with guilt. "What's wrong with me?" She sighed, walking through her front door.


	5. The Scoundrel Returns

Chapter Five – The Scoundrel Returns

"So where are you taking me?" Rachel asked with a light giggle in her voice. Quinn looked over hat her, with twinkle in her amazing eyes and a small smirk. "You'll see." She raised her eyebrow at Rachel and turned back her attention to the road. Rachel furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "I hope you haven't spent too long thinking up this date, Quinn?" She asked looking over at Quinn in more confusion who, in return, simply shrugged and said, "Well I want you to have a good time." _Only about ten years_, Quinn sighed to herself. "What's wrong?" Rachel asked, hearing Quinn's slightly loud sigh. "Nothing." She said, flashing a smile at her, "Just held my breath a little too long." "Why were you holding your breath?" The brunette giggled, blinking and shaking her head. "I guess as well as getting kind of arrogant since high school, I've suppose you've also got weirder!" "Hey!" Quinn scowled playfully, listening to the sweet, beautiful music that was Rachel's laugh. "Here were are!" Quinn announced as she pulled into a street. Rachel smiled and looked out of the window, to see where Quinn had taken her, only for her confusion to grow. "We're at the park?"

"We certainly are." She cheered as she unbuckled her belt and opened the door. Before Rachel could speak, she got out of the car and ran round the other side to open Rachel's door. Again, before Rachel could speak Quinn stuck her hand out and placed her other behind her back. "Care to take a walk with me Miss Berry?" She asked, a tiny smirk beginning to pull on her charmingly sweet smile. Rachel's eyes looked up with her, taking in her beauty and sincerity, before her throat made an odd sort of laugh. She placed her own hand in Quinn's, connecting instantly with the warmth, and she fluttered her eyes up to Quinn's. "I'd love nothing more, Miss Fabray."

Quinn had placed a scarf around Rachel eyes; making the small brunette a little nervous, but Quinn had assured her that she wasn't going to take her anywhere dangerous or allow her to get hurt. Plus, she had the added comfort of having Quinn's hand hold hers tightly and securely, never letting her go. She lead her date – _date! _She squealed internally – through the park to where the lake was. She stopped walking and so Rachel too came to a halt. Waiting for Quinn to remove her blindfold, she breamed a nervous smile. "Where are we Quinn?" She asked, stretching her neck and moving her head, even though she couldn't see. Quinn let out a slow breath, to take in the vulnerable, beautiful girl in front of her. Her eyes feeling heavy with a familiar flutter and a pull in her stomach she hadn't felt for years. Reluctantly, she dropped Rachel's hand and began to quietly move around her. "Quinn?" Rachel spoke, a little scared and nervous that her guide had just let go of her. "Quinn!" She raised her voice and the panic was very apparent, making Quinn giggle a little. She held in her laughter as she stood behind Rachel, wrapping her arms around the back of her and resting her chin on the crook of Rachel's neck, feeling her tense and then relax under her touch. Rachel even turned her head to face forward in the direction Quinn wanted her attention. She ran her hands up from Rachel's hips, up her sides – creating a little shiver to form in Rachel's body – and up over her arms until they met her cheeks, where she was about to release the scarf, blinding her. The delicate, light touch of Quinn's fingertips sent tingles and sparks all throughout Rachel's body, and she had to breathe deeply to not allow it to affect her too much by a way of making her sigh or moan. "Open your eyes," Quinn whispered huskily against Rachel's cheek as she untied the scarf and allowed it fall from her eyes and face, landing in a soft huddle on the floor.

Rachel slowly opened her eyes, like she was preparing herself to witness a great miracle like the parting of the red sea or just something truly spectacular like a dancing ballet of fairies. Once the opened, they widened as she took in the sight. "Oh wow." She whispered. It was beautiful, and reminded her of the night where she sang 'Papa Can You Hear Me' when Kurt's father was sick in the hospital. She couldn't help but make an audible gasp, a sound which satisfied Quinn greatly and she felt a tugging smirk on her lips. The moon was high in the sky, yet low enough to create a shining illumination on the lake in front of them and the stars twinkled and danced just for them. It was magical. Like something out of a dream. Also, as well as the beauty of the nature that was clearly in front of them, Rachel's eyes soon fell upon the delightful picnic. Her eyes widened, only this time they resembled to look of an excited child – the same look, she imagined, that Heidi pulled – and her jaw opened wide to let another gasp escape. "Oh Quinn!" She squealed, turning around and facing a smug looking Quinn Fabray. "You like?" She asked, not being able to hide how proud she felt. Rachel's teeth clamped down on the inside of her cheek, not wanting to reveal too much of how touched she felt and how much she certainly did like it. She shook her head. "No Quinn, I don't like it. I love it! It looks amazing!"

She turned back again as she began skipping down to the blanket, that already had plates and a bottle wine laid out. "How did you do all this?" She asked, as she sat herself down on the edge of the blanket, instructing Quinn to do the same. "I asked the park ranger to keep an eye out." Quinn explained, popping the cork off the bottle. She took two wine glasses out of the basket and poured the bubbly, sizzling liquid into the glass, "Wine?" She asked, handing a glass to Rachel, who took it with a slight nod to her head. "A toast," Quinn announced as she shuffled herself and pushed her shoulders back. "To reconnecting, reuniting and rekindling our old friendship." Rachel smiled at her, glad that she had said 'friendship' and not 'relationship'. Something inside of her told her that she just couldn't do that. "_Not yet. Not now. No_t-" "Dig in Rach, there's loads to eat!" She was cut off from her thoughts by Quinn thrusting a plate of food in her face. She smiled graciously and began to eat. Little did she know that Quinn was hating herself for not saying 'relationship' instead of 'friendship'. _"Give her time Quinn!" _She told herself harshly, _"She's obviously still grieving. Don't be a guy and pounce on her whilst she's still vulnerable. Vulnerable and beautiful and-"  
><em>"This is really good Quinn!" Rachel commented, pulling Quinn out of her thoughts.

"Good. Glad you like it." She smiled, cursing herself still.

Once most of the food was gone – both complaining that they couldn't eat another bite even if they were paid to – they lay on their backs looking up at the stars, that seemed to have multiplied over the course of the evening. Their bodies were close, their hands almost touching. If Quinn just moved her little finger slightly more to the right, they would be connected. Their faces were close too. Not so close that they could feel each other's breath, but they could definitely hear the calming rhythms each one made.

"You see that one?" Rachel asked, pointing up at the sky.

"Yeah...I think so." Quinn squinted, and she heard Rachel giggle at her.

"Look, I'll show you." Her tanned, yet covered arm, grasped Quinn's hand and pointed up at the cluster of stars she was indicating. "There, see?"

"Oh yeah?" Quinn asked, just wanting Rachel to keep holding her arm and never letting go.

"That is the 'Scorpius Constellation'. And that one," she moved Quinn's arm again so she could see another star, "Is the 'Sagittarius Constellation'." She held onto her hand a little more, stretching her index finger out so she was directly pointing at the star, and then gently dropping it back to their sides. "How do you know all this?" Quinn asked, intrigued by her knowledge of astronomy. Rachel smiled up at the brightest star she could see and sighed.

"_Do I tell the truth? That my daughter – the one I haven't told you about yet because I'm afraid you'll get sad and runaway and never see me again – is actually fascinated by stars, so I've spent the last two years absorbing as much information about them as possible? I knew she would take the term 'my little star' too seriously! Still, I knew that my children would be stars, I just thought that would be in the metaphorical sense and not the scientific sense-" _

"Rach?" Quinn turned her head to face Rachel. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her eyes had that little glassy glare. "Hey?" Quinn whispered, causing Rachel to turn her head and face Quinn. "You okay?" She looked deeply into Rachel's eyes, hoping she hadn't made her remember something painful. Rachel also looked into Quinn's eyes and smiled. "Yeah." She said quietly, "just thinking too deeply, that's all."

"I was afraid of that." Quinn muttered.

"Why?"

"I don't want to make you sad. Ever. Not again."

"You didn't," Rachel shook her head slowly, "and I'm sure you won't."

"I hope not." Quinn suddenly felt a charge of electricity as she stared longer at Rachel, and she had to fight as hard as she could not to lean over and kiss Rachel right then. Rachel smiled at her and then gently too her fingers and looped them with her own, turning her head back to face the sky.

"I'm glad you're my friend Quinn." Rachel told her quietly, her eyes still focused on the stars, sending her into a little Rachel Berry daze. Quinn continued to look at Rachel, wishing she had never let her go. "I'm glad you're my..friend too." She bit her lip and allowed her eyes to fall away from Rachel's flawless face. Turning back onto her back she too continued to stare up at the diamond filled sky.

They stargazed for a while. Quinn barely being able to breathe at the fact their hands were still together, connecting them.

Before she could succumb to her feelings, she suddenly felt that she had to get Rachel happy and there was only one way that Quinn knew made Rachel happy.

"Come on Rach," she suddenly sat up, pulling Rachel up with her. "Our date's not over yet." She dragged the surprised girl up and pulled her away from the idyllic scene. Back to her car and she began driving off.

"Quinn where are we going?" Rachel asked, excited and nervous once more – feeling her heart flutter like a colony of doves had been let out of a box and were flying away for the winter. "You'll see!" Quinn beamed, and she stepped on the gas pedal.

"Come on," Quinn dragged her through the familiar surrounding: it was the hotel where she worked at. "What are we doing?" Rachel asked, worriedly. She knew this was a date, but now she wished it wasn't and was about to protest the idea of getting a hotel room! But, to Rachel's surprise once more – and relief – they went straight past the reception desk and made their way to the evening cocktail bar. Rachel continued to ask a silent Quinn what was going on, before she felt herself stop as Quinn took her other hand and spun her to face her. "You're going to sing." She told her with a serious tone, but bright hopeful, excitable eyes.

Rachel's eyes suddenly widened with fear. "What?" She shouted completely scared out of her wits, feeling her heart instead flutter with the feel of a thousand doves flying free, she now felt it pump with the hardest fear and dread she had ever felt. Well, not ever. "No! I can't Quinn-" But Quinn cut her off, rushing to the pianist, who was playing a light little tune that neither cared to recognise and she whispered in his ear. At first, he shook his head reluctantly until Quinn took out a dollar bill – the quantity was unknown to Rachel at her distance, but she guessed it was a lot – and he suddenly stopped playing, took the money and awaited for further instructions. Quinn smiled to herself, revealing that hint of the old Quinn Fabray; the head cheerio. But it disappeared just as fast as it came and she walked over to Rachel again, taking her hand and dragging her up onto the stage.

She stood in front of the microphone and tapped it lightly with her fingers; feeling Rachel try to run away she wrapped her fingers around her hand harder, making there no escape for her little diva.

"Laddies and gentlemen," Quinn began to announce, "we at the 'Parisian Cuisine' have a very special performance for you tonight-"

"Quinn what are you-" Rachel hissed, but Quinn cut her off, announcing again in a Show Choir Announcer voice, "For one night only, but hopefully many more," she glanced slightly at Rachel, "Broadway's very own, Miss Rachel Berry-Dexter!" She whooped and clapped, not caring that it wasn't exactly the place where people did that sort of thing. Her father and mother would be blushing just at the thought of their 'perfect ladylike' daughter such a thing. Still the audience did applaud, even if it wasn't the adoring, thrilling fan thunderclaps Rachel was used to. Rachel stepped up to the mike – well, after being pushed in front of it by Quinn. As she looked out to her audience, she got her first ever taste of stage fright. She turned her face to Quinn and felt the tears welling up. "Quinn no I can't-" But once again her blonde guardian angel stopped her in her tracks. "Rachel, your audience is waiting for you and you never let a crowd down," She herself glanced at Rachel's audience and then back at Rachel. "They are never disappointed by you."

"Fine. But if I get fired-"

"I will personally hire you to sing for my old law firm." She smirked and waited for Rachel to smile herself. "Adda girl." She winked, and gave Rachel's hand a firmer squeeze as she sat down at a table near the front, but further away enough so that Rachel could see her, if she needed to.

"Um..ladies and gentlemen, this is a personal favourite of mine. It's er...it's called 'Whispering'"

There was another light round of clapping as Quinn raised her eyebrow at the pianist to start playing the requested song.

The music began to play and Rachel closed her eyes to sing;

"_Whispering. Here the ghosts in the moonlight. Sorrow doing a new dance. Through their bone, through their skin. Listening. To the souls in the fool's night. Fumbling mutely with their rude hands. And there's heartache without end. See the father bent in grief. The mother dressed in mourning. Sister crumbles, and the neighbours grumble. The preacher issues warnings. History. Little miss didn't do right. Went and ruined all the true plans. Such a shame. Such a sin. Mystery. Home alone on a school night. Harvest moon over the blue land. Summer longing on the wind. Had a sweetheart on his knees. So faithful and adoring. And he touched me. And I let him love me. So let that be my story. Listening. For the hope, for the new life. Something beautiful, a new chance. Hear its whispering, there again"_

Her eyes stared ahead of her, out to the amazed audience. She raised her hand up to her eye and wiped a fallen tear. The roar of the audience meeting her ears made her cry even more, but in true Rachel Berry style, she smiled and stifled her tears as best as she could. Her eyes also sought out Quinn's face amongst the standing ovation she was receiving. Quinn didn't clap, she simply smiled and nodded her head at her, as if to say; "I knew you could do it." And in reply to her nod, Rachel mouthed, "Thank you."

The girls made their way home, laughing and actually singing along the radio as old favourites of theirs played. "Hey Rach, do you want to come in for a coffee or something?" Quinn asked as she turned the key in the ignition. "Oh...I really should get back," She thought about how long she had been out for: reliving her old life; romantic date and singing. But then she thought of her current life. She knew that Heidi would have gone to sleep hours ago and she would be cruising through dreams right now, but that still made Rachel a little guilty. "_Why do I keep doing this to myself?" _She asked herself as she then turned to Quinn. "I think one coffee couldn't hurt."

They got out of the car as Quinn flashed a smile at her and they made their way to the door, keeping their hands in their jeans pockets.

As soon as Quinn unlocked the door, Judy rushed to see her – surprisingly her face not covered in a white cream, but in fact she had make up on and was dressed in clothes. Actual clothes, not pyjamas.

"Quinn, there's someone here to see you." She gushed, as she closed the door behind the two girls. Before Quinn could answer, he stood before her. "Hi Quinn." He greeted sheepishly.

"What are you doing here?" She spat, hating the fact he was here and ruining her night. Her date.

"I came to talk to you." He sighed, slumping his shoulders.

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Quinn, please. Just give me half an hour of your time."

"Quinn who is this?" Rachel asked in a timid little voice, although she had a pretty certain idea of who the man standing in front of them war. "This is my idiot of an ex-husband."

"Technically I'm still your husband Quinn, I haven't sent the papers off yet-"

"Well you've had enough time!" Quinn snapped, glaring at the man in front of them. "Rachel I think you'd better go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll call you this wont take long."

"Okay, I'll..await for your call." Rachel gently touched Quinn's arm before she smiled at Judy quickly and leaving.

As soon as the door closed, Quinn shot Judy a look which instructed her to scurry away to ease-drop. Once she too had left, they were alone. "You're wasting your breath." Quinn told him harshly, walking into the kitchen. "Quinn, come on I'm sorry!"

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Well I have a lot to say to you."

"I don't want to hear it!"

"Please, Quinn let me talk." He touched her arm, causing her to fling back and glare at him. He backed off slightly, holding his hands up in front of him as if he had been caught by the police. Quinn released a breath and folded her arms. "You have two minutes. Go." Her husband nodded his head and stuck his hands back in his pockets. "Look, I'm sorry for what-"

"You've said that." Quinn snapped.

"Let me finish. I'm sorry what I did but I want to change. I want to make a change."

"What do you mean 'make a change'? How can you 'make a change'? Surely you just want to-"

"I want to start a family." He caught Quinn off guard and she felt herself stumble a little. Thank goodness she was resting against the island surface or she may have fallen over. "What?"

"I know that that's all you've ever wanted, since you told me about your daughter-"

"Don't bring her up." Scowling and with a venomous bite she told him.

"Sorry. But...look, I know that I was a jerk. Okay? An immature jerk who only cared about himself-"

"Yeah you got that right."

"Quinn will you quit interrupting me? Look I want to be your husband. I want to have children with you. I want a family with you!" He'd walked closer to her and was now standing in front of her.

"Do you really mean that?" She asked quietly, still taken completely back.

"Yes. I do. And it's taken me this long to realise it." He took his hand out of his pocket and picked up Quinn's hand. "Please Quinn, come back to Chicago, come back home." Quinn just stared into his eyes, trying to spot any signs of deceit, of lies. But she honestly couldn't see any. "I don't know-"

"What's not to know? You love me, right?"

"I...I guess."

"And you're my wife! Come on Quinn, give me a second chance. Give us a second chance."

A second chance. As he asked her to give him a second chance, she thought back to when she asked Rachel to give her a second chance. They were getting somewhere. They were friends now! But, she wanted more. A part of her really wanted more than to be Rachel's friend. She wanted to be her girlfriend. Again. She never should have let her go. Of course, that's why hindsight is a cruel sense; it shows you how things could have been and there was no way she could turn back the clock. God she wished she could. Rachel was single. Very single and although it was a devastating way to be single, Quinn was still glad that she was. But, she herself was not. As much as she tried to pretend that she was divorced, she wasn't. Not yet, and probably never. The fun they had shared over the last few weeks were amazing. It really felt like old times and her feelings for the brunette only got stronger as the seconds passed. What if Rachel didn't feel the same way? Okay, she showed signs that she did but, after she sang that song, she just knew that she would never be over Louis. And why shouldn't she? He was probably the love her life!

"_Me, I'm just an ex. Just a friend." _

"Okay." She sighed reluctantly.

"Okay?" Her husband raised his eyebrows and gushed.

"Okay, I'll move back to Chicago with you-" He swooped her up in his arms and began to attack her face with kisses. "Okay! Okay!" She squealed, accidentally giggling. He placed her on the top of the counter and latched his mouth on to hers. When he pulled away he continued talking. "I'm just so glad you're giving us a chance!"

"You a chance." She corrected him. "I'm giving you a chance."

"Sure. Me a chance. Thank you. Thank you Quinn!" He then pulled her into a tight, uncomfortable embrace. Quinn couldn't help but compare it to Rachel's hugs.

"So you're going back to Chicago?" Rachel asked, trying to hide her sadness. Quinn had called her up and asked her to meet her at the park, where she told her the news. "Yeah." Quinn replied, not even attempting to hide her own sadness. "But I'll keep in touch." Just then, Rachel lifted her gaze off the floor and she allowed her eyes to sparkle. "You better Fabray!" She smirked, pulling Quinn into a tight hug. As they held each other Quinn closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to soak as much of her small brunette friend as she could. Rachel kept her eyes open, straining on the trees behind them, her teeth clenching hard at her bottom lip as her eyebrows furrowed. "Quinn?" She spoke up. "Yes Rachel?" The blonde replied, not making an attempt to move.

"I.." She thought once more, blinking as if seeing words form more clearly before her, "I hope everything works out for you." Her voice quietened by the end of her sentence and she felt Quinn release a small sigh. "Me too." She whispered.


	6. The Peasant's Secret Revealed

**So, I've had a few reviews relating to Quinn's decision to go back to her husband after he cheated on her. FEAR YEE NOT! I have a plan – this is a Faberry Fic after all! One review stated that it wasn't right for Quinn to 'fix her marriage' by bringing in an 'innocent life' and that having Quinn have a baby with a cheating husband wouldn't be right 'just for the sake of drama': I completely agree and I've seen it on television shows where couples try to do just that, and I think we all know that it is never a good thing to stay together for the sake of a child, no matter how hard it may seem to the child. So, if you will all please hold on and continue reading, I assure you that I have a plan I hope you will be satisfied with. There are fifteen chapters and there is drama, and passion, sadness...just hold on! **

**Just felt I had to clear some things up. :)**

Chapter Six – The Peasant's Secret Revealed

Quinn couldn't just leave Lima without saying a proper goodbye to Rachel. She thought she could just leave with the satisfaction of the friendly hug in the park, but that wasn't enough. She didn't want to go back to Chicago, but she had to try and make her marriage work. Even if she could just have the chance to be a real mother. A mom. She wanted a family; always wanted a family. After Beth that was all she ever wanted.

The first night she moved back in with her mom, that's what she was told: make a go of her marriage;

"_That's what I did." Judy told her as she stabbed her food with her fork. Quinn flickered eyes up to her mothers. "Why did you give dad another chance, mom? I mean, he cheated on you too. He was unfaithful, something he vowed he'd never be when he married you. And if he's so religious then why did he break one on the ten commandments? 'Thou shalt not commit adultery'. Forgetting the religious side I mean why take him back? He hurt you and he broke your trust-" _

"_Because that's what grown ups do." Judy told her sternly, shooting her daggers. _

"_Don't talk to me like that." She snarled, scowling as her mother. As Quinn stared at her mother, she put another piece of food in her mouth, unsure what to say. Judy watched her too and then after a little while of making sure Quinn wasn't going to protest any more, she too put another mouthful of food in her mouth. "All I'm saying is," Quinn piped up again, now talking about her own failure of a marriage, "why does he deserve another chance? He hurt me by going again_

"_Quinn, just give him a chance. We can all make mistakes, that's what makes us human. You yourself made a mistake once and you were forgiven." That reference hit a nerve and Quinn slammed her fork down. "What happened to me was different and you know it!" She growled. Her mother simply shrugged. "You were still forgiven. Just give it a try Quinn, I honestly believe he made a stupid mistake and he won't do it again." _

"_You just don't want me to be an embarrassment to you again." Quinn muttered, no longer looking at her mother. "That's not true Quinn. I just believe you should give him another chance." She looked at Quinn, but her daughter refused to meet her eye willingly, so she reached over the table and took her hand, causing the younger blonde to look up at her. "Marriages are hard, Quinn, but what makes them last is if you forgive and forget." _

"_I thought what made them last was love?" Quinn retorted. Her mother scoffed and shook her head. "Only in fairy tales sweetheart. Love is just a small percentage of a marriage. You two are good together. Give him another chance. Give him a shot." Her mother pleaded with her, gripping onto her hand with desperation. "I'll think about it." Quinn told her quietly, before removing her hand from her mother's grasp and they continued their dinner. _

"_Perhaps I should just give it a shot"_, she told herself as she lay in bed not being able to sleep. She turned her head – having a sudden flashback to when she had turned her head and saw Rachel's beautiful face staring up at the equally beautiful stars – and saw her husband's sleeping form next to her.

They had sex that night. After his suffocating squeeze, he picked her up off the counter and made her wrap her legs around his waist and carried her up the stairs. She was dead set against it. He had slept with his secretary for goodness sake, and as he pushed her down on to the bed, soaking her face with sloppy kisses and taking off her shirt and unbuttoning her jeans, pulling the zip down, she thought back to what Miss Holiday had told them all in Glee Club:

"_Remember, when you have sex with someone you're having sex with every person they've slept with. And everyone's got a random!"_

The thought made her shudder and groan out loud, which only turned her husband on even more.

The whole time she lay there, letting him 'do his thing' as he put it, all she could think about was when she and Rachel would have sex. No. They wouldn't have sex, they would make love. The only way she could get through the process of just lying there – which thankfully really didn't last that long – she thought of when her and Rachel made love for the first time.

"_Quinn, I'm scared." Rachel had admitted with a little gasp at the sudden prospect of what was going to happen, feeling like a little wuss, whispering and shaking a little as two tears slid down her cheeks as she pulled away from Quinn's loving kisses. _

_Quinn immediately removed her hand from caressing Rachel's upper thigh and backed off a little by creating a little distance between their torsos and taking Rachel's hands in her own. "Don't be scared." She told her, giving her a small reassuring smile. "I'm scared too." Rachel sniffled and looked down at their entwined hands before looking back up again into Quinn's eyes. "W..why are you scared?" Quinn smiled again, releasing a nervous breath. _

"_Because I want to make this special for you. Forget the candles and the roses and classical music. That's just background stuff. What really matters is how you feel and being comfortable. This is your first time, Rachel and want to make you feel loved-"_

"_I do feel loved!" Her voice was high and worried if she had somehow offended Quinn and she gripped her hands to show her she did feel loved. She brought Quinn's hands to her mouth and she kissed them, scrunching her eyes up to show her how passionately she felt about Quinn. The blonde, however just smiled more and chuckled a little, bringing her hands away from Rachel's mouth. _

_Leaning in and kissing away her fallen tears. "I know you do, but what I mean is...you only get one chance for your first time Rach. Sex isn't just something we do, it's a connection – an emotional bond. I don't want you to just feel good and pleasured and glad that you've done it, I want you to feel loved! I don't want to have sex with you Rachel, I want to make love to you. I want to prove to you and show you just how much I love you." More tears had spilled over Rachel's eyelids and made their way down her cheeks. "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard." She whispered, smiling her own little smile. Quinn let go of one of Rachel's hands and brought it to the back of Rachel's neck, where she rubbed a particular sensitive spot, staring into Rachel's eyes even more. "Do you want to know the most beautiful thing I've ever heard?" She asked, and Rachel nodded her head, melting into Quinn's gentle touch. "Your voice. Not just your singing voice, but your laugh and your cries and whispers and every other sound you make." Rachel sniffled once more. She leaned into Quinn and kissed her lips, wrapping her arms around Quinn's neck. _

_Before it got too passionate, Quinn pulled away to look into Rachel's large pupils. "Are you sure you want to do this?" _

"_After hearing your words, and knowing fully that you'll protect me and make this special for me, I know that I want to do this. I want you to make love to me, Quinn, and I want to make love to you. With all my heart." She whispered the last bit to stop herself from crying again. Quinn smiled and sniffled back her own tears. "As long as you're sure." Instead of answering her with words, Rachel picked up Quinn's hand and placed it lightly on her breast. Their eyes caught each other at the simple, yet powerful touch, and Rachel nodded her head, allowing Quinn to lay her down back on the rose petalled covered bed, as she kissed her and gently rubbed her breast, creating sweet moans to come from Rachel's slender throat. _

_They made love twice that night and the love continued to grow with each kiss, smile and look they gave each other. _

Two days before she was set to head back to Chicago – her husband had to leave a day early due to work commitments – Quinn tried as hard as she could to resist the urge to see Rachel. However, on the day before she was set to fly back, she just couldn't resist the urge any longer.

She picked herself up, walked out of her mother's house, jumped in her car and drove to Rachel.

It wasn't late, but she still didn't want to give her a call. She wanted it to be a surprise. She wanted it to be a Hollywood movie moment; full of suspense and magic.

She pulled up to Rachel's fathers' house and took a moment to compose herself before knocking on the door.

Rachel came to the door, smiling and laughing at something someone had said inside. As soon as she saw Quinn she gasped.

"Quinn, what are you-"

"Rachel. Hi." Quinn boldly greeted, wanting nothing more but to take the girl into a tight embrace and cry into the crook of her neck. Be held in her loving arms and just drone on for the rest of the night into the early hours of the dawn into how confused and messed up she was feeling. And then, wanting nothing more but to have Rachel sing her to sleep, like she was a child. Or, like she was hers...the way they used to be. But, knowing that possibly none of that was possible right now, Quinn settled for saying; "I just..I really wanted to see you before I left."

"Oh. Okay." Rachel was fixed to her spot, looking a little..scared?

"I just really wanted to talk to you Rach." She confessed, wanting to sigh but remaining strong, until she was inside the house at least. "Okay." Rachel repeated, but having heard a clatter of some sort, Rachel turned her head away from Quinn's pleading gaze. "Is..is this a bad time?" Quinn asked, trying to see what the brunette – the breathtakingly beautiful brunette – was looking at. She heard soft pads running towards her, and Quinn thought for a second that Rachel had a dog.

_Did she have a dog? Did she ever have a dog? Maybe her dads bought a dog for when she left?_

Quinn braced herself for being jumped up at and barked at by whatever beast was running towards them, her muscles clenching together and her posture straightening up even more. "Er..no. Not-" Suddenly the pads grew louder and stopped, surprising Quinn to the point of where she tensed even more! Feeling like she was made of iron. Quinn fixed her eyes on the padding creature. Well, not creature. The pads weren't being made from a dog's paw-pads, but of a person. A little girl a wearing a pale pink all in one footsie pyjamas: a tiny clone of Rachel was by her side, clinging to Rachel's dress, her penguin under her arm. Quinn's eyes went a little wide as she stared at the girl. "Rach?" She whispered as their eyes connected once more. She was beautiful. Just as beautiful as Rachel; breathtaking and gorgeous. The cutest little Berry she had ever seen. Including Rachel herself. Rachel stared up at Quinn for a moment, not sure what to do. The little girl had her head resting on Rachel's leg, as a way of comfort from the stranger standing at their door. "Quinn, I guess this is the best time to tell you." She took a quick breath before her 'big' announcement. "Quinn there's someone I want you to meet." She wrapped her arm around the young girl's shoulder and held her close to her legs. "This is my daughter, Heidi. Heidi, this is Quinn."

After a little pause, of Quinn taking in the sight before her; _how could she not have mentioned she had a daughter? How could I not have asked? Am I really that selfish? Am I really too caught up in my own sad little life? To think I thought this beautiful little girl was a dog! Oh my God, Rachel's a mom!_ She gasped to herself.

Quinn then shook herself out of her inner monologue and blinked a couple of times before beaming a smile at the little brunette. "Hi, Heidi." She said, chuckling a little at the repetition of sounds. Something the poor kid would have to get used to as she grew up. If she ever grew up, looking at how tiny she was. "Mommy, is she the Princess?" Heidi whispered, making Rachel blush and Quinn giggle a little. She'd been called a lot of names in her life, and 'princess' wasn't one of them! Not even by her dad. Well, maybe once one her birthday, but she'd almost forgotten her childhood. Remembering only part of her horrid middle school years and high school life; it all seemed like a lifetime away and yet is was only...what? Ten years ago! _Wow, how time flies,_ she thought. Watching Rachel blush, Quinn asked, "What Princess?" Rachel bit her lip, not wanting to reveal her secret. Quinn knew then that Rachel must have talked to her daughter – Heidi – about her. And she called her a princess.

_Was I really a princess in Rachel's eyes? Was I still a princess after all this time? After everything that happened? Maybe she does still have feelings for me? _She thought, slightly ashamed of herself. _To Rachel, and now Heidi, I'm a princess_, she squealed internally.

"It doesn't matter." Rachel told Quinn, flashing her eyes to hers before looking back down on her daughter, the blush subsiding. "Heidi, what do we say when people introduce themselves?"

"Hello." Heidi whispered, gripping harder onto Rachel's dress. The little girl was clearly a little star struck, and then it was Quinn's turn the blush; perhaps she shouldn't have worn such a revealing, seductive dress. She couldn't be more than three years old? Or, maybe a little older, perhaps she just inherited Rachel's – her mother's – unfortunate, yet incredibly adorable, lack of hight.

Rachel smiled at Heidi again, this time a slightly more authoritative smile and letting her hold become a little less strained. "Heidi, Quinn is a very special friend of mommy's."

"That's right," Quinn interrupted, and Rachel instantly looked back up at Quinn as soon as she heard her open her mouth. "Your mom and I used to be," Quinn looked up at Rachel deciding how best to describe their relationship – and not just the romantic one. It also sounded weird calling Rachel a mom.

_Mom? Rachel?_

Hearing the girl - _"Heidi, not 'the girl!" _- call her mommy was weird enough, but hearing Quinn say it...it was just...strange. "Friends, in high school. Good friends." She winked at Rachel, causing the older brunette to blush once more. "Best friends?" The little girl asked, still clinging onto Rachel's leg. "Yeah." Quinn told her, quietly and capturing herself in a quick, long ago but never forgotten memory of the two of them. "The best of best friends." Quinn smiled at Rachel, this time not wanting to cause her any discomfort in the company of her daughter, trying to convey all of her feelings for her in that one stare. But, Rachel broke it and looked away. "Anyway, Heidi's a little shy when she first meets people, she should probably get to bed."

"Mommy!" The girl protested, although she buried her tired face into Rachel's leg.

"That's okay, you do look a little tired." Quinn wasn't sure who she was meaning to direct her statement, looking into Rachel's eyes once more she could see the emotion swimming around her chocolate orbs. "I'm really glad I met you Heidi." Quinn told the girl, reaching out her hand to stroke the soft pigtails she was wearing. The little brunette simply nodded her head and turned up to face her mother. "Mommy, can I go ask grandpappy to read me a story?"

"Sure, but just one okay? Then bed." Rachel smiled, giving Heidi's shoulder a little squeeze.

"Okay." The little girl grinned – just like Rachel did – and began to run down the hall, her little rubber pads on her footsie pyjamas rubbing softly against the wooden floor. She then stopped and turned around. "Bye bye Quinn. Good to meet you." She shyly waved before dashing off again.

Quinn and Rachel both watched her climb the stairs on all fours, still clutching the over sized penguin in her fist, adoringly. They both smiled a similar smile: Rachel's expressing the overwhelming love she felt for her daughter, Quinn's the overwhelming love she should have had for Beth. Snapping herself out of her daze, once more, Quinn spoke to Rachel, not before taking a longing gaze at her sweet face as she watched Heidi clamber up the stairs. Sometimes, she couldn't believe that she had a daughter, a perfect daughter.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a daughter? Quinn asked, snapping Rachel out of her own daze. "Whatever happened to 'no more secrets' and no more fear of 'anything holding us back?'"

"I didn't want to upset you." She told her quietly, bowing her head slightly, shame blushing her cheeks. Shame for keeping Heidi a secret and shame for...well..just shame. "That's stupid Rachel." Quinn told her playfully. "She's beautiful."

"So are you." Rachel said quietly, now her turn to blush. She looked past Quinn and saw the darkness surrounding the street. "Do you want to come in?" She asked, biting her lip in that adorable way Quinn felt weak at the knees at. "Sure. I'd love to."

Rachel moved out of the way and allowed her come through. As soon as she was inside, the door closing she heard a voice. A familiar voice. "Rachel who was at the door?" It was Leroy Berry; Rachel's tall, muscular, scary father. Scary to Quinn anyway. He was the kind of man that you would see at in a bar and wouldn't want to look him in the eye, but he was a sweet guy once you got to know him. That's what Rachel kept on saying when she was trying to persuade Quinn to come round.

"_My fathers aren't scary Quinn I assure you."_

"_Yeah not to you, you're their little princess! They adore you! Hell, they love you and wanted you so bad they were willing to pay Shelby to have you!"  
>"I understand all that, but honestly they are not going to bite your head off."<em>

"_You don't know that Rachel. You've told them about me, right?"_

"_Of course; how beautiful you are, how much you mean to me, how kind you are-" _

"_No Rachel, I mean about all the stuff I did to you. Before we got together."_

"_Well...Okay I must admit that I did used to come home crying that a certain blonde Cheerio made me cry in school and had the whole school single me out in some sort of slushie hate campaign-"_

"_See! They hate me! They'll kill me!"_

"_But I also told them about that same Cheerio who got pregnant and became a terrified, scared little girl, who reluctantly showed off her vulnerable side and managed to become a fantastic life long friend. The girl who did the impossible and gave her own daughter away to a woman who also gave me away. They don't hate you Quinn. If anything, they respect you."_

"_Respect me? How? I made your life a living hell?"_

"_But you turned your life around. Okay, you were a little bit of a bitch, but that was only because you were afraid of confronting your true feelings for me." _

"_I guess."_

"_Well while you might guess, I know. So please, don't worry about they may or may not think, because you have my word; they will and do love you just the same as I do."_

"_The same as you do?" _

"_Okay maybe not exactly the same as I do, but close enough."_

"_Thank you Rachel."_

"_For what?"_

"_For saying all those nice things about me." _

"_What can I say, I care for you and I want you to be a part of my life. My parents are a part of my life, and you guys have to get along so, of course I'd make you sound good." _

"_You're beyond brilliant, you know that right?"_

"_I've been told." _

"_Come here." _

_Just as Quinn tipped Rachel's chin up and lowered her lips to Rachel's, the front door opened and revealed Leroy Berry. _

"_Well, well, so this is what happens when you allow your only daughter to stay out ten minutes after curfew?" He spoke, crossing his arms across his broad, strong chest. _

"_Holy shit!" Quinn gaped, slapping her hand straight to her chest at the shock of the intrusion. Her eyes widened at the unamused look her gave her; his eyebrow raised and he gave her a little yet powerful scowl. "Really Quinn; I thought a religious, well brought up girl like you wouldn't say the Lord's name in vein and in such a way as to string it together with such a profanity." _

_Quinn swallowed hard and distanced herself from Rachel. She'd never been this scared to meet someone's father. Why should she, it was always the guy that had to be scared of the girlfriend's father. Did this mean that Quinn was the guy in the relationship? Well, meeting her own father would be kind of terrifying for Rachel too. "I guess it's a father thing." Quinn thought. _

"_I'm so sorry. Sir." She belted the 'Sir' out and she could literally feel her heart and lungs shrivel with the amount of oxygen they were needing, but was being neglected off as Quinn had stopped breathing. _

_Rachel rolled her eyes at her father. "Dad do you have to scare all my friends with your presence and your words?" She growled, raising herself on her tiptoes to give her father a quick peck on the cheek. "No, not your friends Rachel. Just your...more romantically acquainted friends." He scowled at Quinn again and she tried to swallow the nervous lump that had formed in her throat. "Did you have a good evening?" He asked Quinn. She nodded and cleared her throat, trying to straighten herself up to look a little more..what? Tough? Not scared? "Yes Sir, we had a wonderful time." _

"_I hope you didn't try anything funny with my little girl?" He asked her sternly, glaring even more. Quinn sucked in a deep breath and widened her eyes once more, moving herself even further away from Rachel. "No Sir! Never, I would never try anything with her. I promise. Sir." _

"_What about that kiss I almost witnessed?" Quinn blushed and could literally feel her dinner – and her organs along with it – rising up her body and through her throat. "Well...I...um...Sir-" _

"_Dad, enough of the scaring. We had a wonderful dinner, pleasant conversation and our hands remained on the table at all times, now may we please come inside? It is getting late and due to that fact the temperature has dropped and we are a little cold. Quinn is actually trembling." Quinn hadn't even noticed, but she was shaking. Although probably not from the cold. _

_Leroy looked at the blonde again and could see the fear in her eyes. "Excellent." He thought, not in a malicious kind of way, just in an overprotective father way. "Well I suppose you must come in Quinn, can't have my little baby girl or her girlfriend catching a cold can I?" _

"_N..No Sir." Quinn replied. _

_Satisfied with the fear and the worry built up in the blonde, he smiled at Rachel – a slight wink followed – and he allowed them to walk in through the door. Quinn allowed Rachel to go in first, wanting to appear the perfect 'gentleman' in front of Rachel's fathers. As she walked after Rachel she felt Rachel's hand grip hers and she could finally breath again. _

"_See! You dad hates me!" She hissed. Rachel rolled her eyes and kissed her terrified girlfriend. She placed her hand on Quinn's cool cheek, and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear with her thumb. "He was kidding Quinn. It's an intimidation tactic that fathers use on their daughters' dates. Honestly, I bet your father did the same to your dates?" Quinn thought for a moment, before relaxing into Rachel's touch. "I guess you're right. Just tell me your daddy is a lot nicer?" _

"_Oh yeah, he's the over friendly one. You've had your tetanus shot right?"_

"_Why do you ask?"_

"_Because although my dad might not, my daddy definitely bites. Well, his embraces and kisses are worse than bites. Prepare yourself." She smirked and winked, in almost the same way her dad did and she lead Quinn by the hand through the hall into the family room. _

Leroy hadn't changed at all. Well, his hair was a little more grey and he had a few more lines on his forehead, but a part from that he was still the same stocky, muscular, terrifying Mr Berry Quinn remembered. And she felt herself lose her breath as soon as he set his eyes on Quinn.

"Dad, you remember-"

"Quinn. Quinn Fabray." It wasn't a question; it was a statement.

"_Crap, he hates me." Quinn cursed inside her mind. "No it's worse than that, he loathes me! I'm going to die! I bet he has a shot gun. Oh God!" _

"G..good evening S..Sir." Quinn greeted, stepping away from Rachel and sticking her hand out in front of her, waiting for him to shake it. His eyes were cold and his stare was as hard as a rock. Quinn visibly gulped and she could feel herself shaking. Again.

Leroy looked over at Rachel, who silently urged him to take her hand. She widened her eyes and nodded her head. He turned back to Quinn, who now held her lip in between her teeth. He took her hand and grasped it, not hard so it hurt, but hard enough to tell her how he felt: she was not welcome in his house.

"Hello Quinn." He said, in a tone even colder than his stare.

"Hello Sir." She gulped again and tried to look away from his eyes, but they bore into her, like he was trying to turn her into stone. Like Medusa. Leroy then let go of her hand and turned his attention to his daughter. "Rachel, have you said goodnight to Heidi?" His voice was immediately cheery and back to his usual self. "Yes dad, daddy's reading her a story. Why don't you go join them?" Although she asked, it was more of a command, signalling that she wanted to be alone with Quinn. "Of course," he smiled at her, "goodnight my little baby girl." He glared at Quinn one last time, using her old nickname to intimate Quinn, as he walked past them and headed up the stairs.

As soon as he was gone, Quinn let out a shaky breath and lowered her head into her hands. Rachel shuffled up behind her, just as she was about to put her hand on her shoulder Quinn sniffled; "I should go, I'm clearly not welcome."

"Nonsense," Rachel argued, placing her hand on Quinn's shoulder and gently walked around to face her. "You are my guest, and my friend, and if my dad has a problem with you being here well that's just it: his problem." Quinn sniffled once more, wanting to protest, but all she could do was nod as she was lead into the dim lit family room.

Once Quinn had come over the initial shock of meeting Mr Berry again, having been taken into the family room, she sat on the couch and waited for Rachel. She had gone to the kitchen to get themselves some water. The began to talk, not about the face Quinn was leaving, but just as if she wasn't. As Rachel sipped on her drink, she then turned to Quinn, ready to speak.

"I never thanked you before."

"For what?"

"For saying that Heidi's beautiful."

"Oh, don't worry about it. Still, you must get it a lot."  
>"I do actually."<p>

"Well, no one can't not say that she's beautiful. I mean, she's your daughter!"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on Rach, don't make me say it again."

"Maybe I want to hear you say it again." Rachel teased. Quinn sighed and rolled her eyes, sitting up and putting her glass of water on the coffee table before turning to face Rachel, cupping her hands onto Rachel's lap. "You. Are. Beautiful." She said, slowly and truthfully, seeing her tanned cheeks tint slightly with the blush. "Who was it that sang that song that went, 'You are so beautiful to me'?" Rachel thought for a little bit, which surprised Quinn a little considering she had referred to Rachel's brain as the 'iTunes' of human brains. Her eyes lit up as she knew the answer. "Joe Cocker?" She said, with a slight intonation to show she actually wasn't quite sure. Quinn smiled and just shrugged. "If you say so. Well, my point is that you are, so, so beautiful to me." Her voice had quietened and they gave each other that look again. "Do you want to put the song on?" Rachel asked, loosing herself a little in the intense moment. "Sure." Quinn just about managed to get out, before blinking and waking herself up. Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but then bit her lip as she got up and moved over to her fathers' record collection.

As she got up, Quinn twisted herself round to look at her. From this angle, she didn't look like a mom. Still, she didn't look like a mom at any angle. What did a mom even look like? Technically she herself was a mom. Well, she was a _mother_ but she wasn't a _mom_. The words that Shelby had said to Rachel echoed in her ears from when Rachel had sobbed in her arms, telling her.

"_I'm your mother, Rachel, but I'm not your mom."_

It hurt her. Quinn as well as Rachel. The notion and the meaning it hurt like a slap across the face. But it was true. Rachel had stuck around for her daughter, yet Quinn had given hers up.

"_I'm not a mom,"_ she thought as she looked a Rachel fiddling with the records, _"I'm a mother"_.

Her mood had dipped and she could feel herself wanting to cry, however she heard the first chords of the song playing and she looked up as she saw Rachel standing looking a little flushed. Her chest rising and falling in a smooth, steady rhythm.

Rachel looked at her and their eyes connected once more. Quinn stood up, being silently commanded to do so. The song played and she walked over to Rachel, who had sort of met her in the middle of them room. She stood close to her, looking down on her due to her height. Rachel opened her mouth to speak again, but instead of releasing words, she allowed a sigh to escape as Quinn took her hand and placed it on her shoulder, repeating the action with Rachel's other hand. They were pressed gently against each other, and Quinn took hold of Rachel's hips.

Still, neither said anything, as they swayed to the music.

_You are so beautiful. To me. You are so beautiful. To me. Can't you see. You're everything I hoped for. You're everything I need. You are so beautiful. To me_

Rachel rested her head slowly against Quinn's shoulder and nuzzled her slightly.

"_What are you doing?" _She yelled at herself, _"She's your friend Rachel! Friend! Nothing more. There can never be anything more. Not after everything that happened, you know that. You'll just end up hurting yourself. Again. Not now that she's not getting a divorce! Sure you still love her but think of the pain she caused you! Wait...you love her? Rachel, you love her. You have to stop! Think of what she did! Think of-" _She scrunched her eyes tightly closed and pressed herself harder onto Quinn's body.

_You are so wonderful. To me. You are so wonderful. To me. Can't you see. You're everything I hoped for. You're everything I need. You are so wonderful. To me_

Quinn wrapped her arms more securely around Rachel's wast, pressing them even closer together.

"_Just relax Quinn," _Quinn told herself as she felt the small of Rachel's back. "_Just relax. She's your friend and you're married. You're not getting a divorce, you're giving your cheating husband another chance! Sure she smells so good and her skin is so soft and her...Quinn, stop! This is wrong! She's grieving still! You know that! And you're married! You're comforting her, that's all. The song is beautiful and she's beautiful but...Oh God who are you kidding? She is beautiful. She's even more beautiful than the last time you guys saw each other. Not the other day but ten years ago! Just admit it, you love her. You love her. You worship her and you want her! No! No you have to make a go of your marriage! It wouldn't be fair to him. Fair? To him? He's the one that cheated on you! But he was right, you do spend too much time thinking of her. Hell, you spent last night picturing it was Rachel doing all those things to you instead of your husband. You need to give him another chance. What you had with Rachel was in the past. It would be too painful to go back to that. You have to look forward. You can have a family, Quinn. A real family. A husband and a dog and a couple of kids running around. But what about Rachel? She's a family too. I could be part of her family. Let's face it, her husband is dead and she could use another pair of hands. Yeah, but she has her fathers! But just think, you could help her raise Heidi, you could..No Quinn! Yes Quinn! No-"_

Quinn squeezed Rachel harder as she tried to shut the argument up in her head.

_You are so beautiful. To me. You are so beautiful. To me. Can't you see. You're everything I hoped for. You're everything I need. You are so beautiful. To me _

"You're so beautiful to me Rach." Quinn whispered against Rachel's head as she held her closer to her. "You're beautiful to me too Quinn." Rachel whispered back.

"I'd better go, it's getting late." Quinn whispered in a husky, sort of lust filled voice pulling herself away from Rachel. "You can stay if you want." Rachel told her, in the same sort of voice.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, we don't have a spare room any more but-"

"I'll sleep on the couch."

"Or, you can...sleep in my room..w..with me?" Quinn couldn't help the little smile that tugged on the corners of her mouth. "I'd like that."

"Okay?" Rachel furrowed her eyebrows, not quite sure of what Quinn was meaning.

"I mean...I'd like that..a lot more than sleeping on the couch."

"It's okay Quinn," Rachel placed her hand on the girl's shoulder, "Don't worry about it."

She gave Quinn a quick nervous smile as she then took Quinn's hand and lead her to her room.

"You can er...you can borrow some of my pyjamas if you want?" Rachel said as she walked over to her pyjama draw. "Okay, sure that would be good. Thank you." Quinn answered as she looked around Rachel's room.

It too, hadn't changed a bit. It was as if Rachel had never left to go to New York ten years ago. All of her old posters were up, her teddies, even the same bedding!

"Is there anything here that's new?" She asked, smirking a little. Rachel walked back over to her, carrying a red tank top and yellow sleep shorts. "Well the clothing's changed a little." She shrugged. "Especially my sleepwear. I don't just wear my flannel pyjamas like I used to. I wear tanks under them and sometimes I don't button them all the way to the top."

"Ooh scandalous!" Quinn teased. "Do you cover yourself up because of Heidi?"

"I guess so. When Louis was..when I had Louis, I would wear tanks and shorts. Sometimes nothing at all," she giggled blushing as she sat on the bed. "But I think since having Heidi, I have decided to cover up a little more. It just doesn't feel right waking my four year old daughter wearing next to nothing, you know?"

"Yeah. I guess you're right." Quinn agreed.

They then proceeded to get changed. Quinn wanted nothing more than to look at Rachel's bare body. Imagining what it must be like to run her hands over the smooth skin once more.

"Hey you still have my necklace!" She was dragged out of her thoughts as she heard Rachel squeal.

"What? Oh, yeah I wear it all the time." Quinn said, as she fiddled with the pendant.

"Looks good on you."

"How can a piece of jewellery look good on a person and bad on another?"

"Just take the compliment Fabray!" Rachel laughed, throwing a pillow at her.

"Ow! Fine I will! Thank you Rachel, I'm sure all of your jewellery looks good on you too!"

"Shut up!" They laughed a little more and Rachel stripped her top off. Quinn was still laughing and was about to say something when she caught sight of Rachel's body. Unfortunately the sight she saw wasn't the one she was expecting. "Rach!" She gasped, wishing she hadn't. Rachel looked back at her wondering what the matter was and then noticed her fearful eyes once more. She dropped her eyes to the floor and began covering her body again. "Your scar?" Quinn whispered, as if she didn't want to believe it existed. "Don't worry about it." At that moment, Quinn did worry about it and wanted nothing more but to kiss it and run her tongue over it, as if licking it would make it go away.

There was a moment of uneasy silence. The two of them got back to changing with their backs facing each other.

"You're a miracle." Quinn mumbled as she climbed into the bed next to Rachel.

"What do you mean?" She asked, turning to face her.

"Well, you got stabbed whilst you were pregnant, and yet you managed to go to full term and deliver a healthy baby girl without any damages to either of your health!" Rachel simply shrugged and pulled the blankets up to her chin. "I guess you'd say we're both miracles. Maybe someone cares for us, huh?" She rolled her eyes over to Quinn, who was still sat up and looking down on her. "I think a lot of people care about you Rachel. Not just God or your fathers."

"I know." Rachel smiled. "I just wish he could have felt the same about Louis, you know?" Her smile faded and she closed her eyes, trying to suppress the tears that were forming. Quinn bit her lip and then picked Rachel's upper body up and rested her against her torso, pulling her close for a comforting embrace. "I understand." She whispered, as she ran her fingers through her chocolate locks. With her other arm, she draped it over Rachel's stomach and the brunette began to stroke the length of it. The sensations the other girl was creating on the other, made them relax and melt into each other's gentle embrace.

"Can I ask you a question?" Rachel asked, her voice quite and tired.

"Of course."

"When you first saw Heidi tonight, did you think of Beth?"

"_When am I not thinking of Beth?" _Quinn asked herself. _"Even when I push her as far back in my mind as I possibly can..." _

"I'm always thinking of her Rachel." Quinn told her softly. She felt Rachel take a deep breath, clearly thinking about her next question. "Do you want to talk about her?" Quinn took her own deep breath and closed her eyes; picturing her little baby girl. "Not really." She whispered softly, continuing to play with Rachel's hair. "Are you sure? It might good to-"

"Can we change the subject Rachel, please?" She asked, feeling her voice croak.

"So you leave tomorrow?" Rachel said, sounding as well as feeling deflated.

"Yep."

"I'll miss you."

"It's not like I'm being shipped off to Iraq!"

"I know but..I'm still going to miss you. I know I've not said it but, I've really enjoyed seeing you these past few weeks. It's...it's made me remember what we used to be like. Before everything." She took a little pause, unsure of what to say next, leaving the air a little awkward but she took a deep breath and continued anyway. "And I guess I'm going to miss you, even though Chicago's only two states over and-"

"I'll miss you too Rachel." Quinn said, wanting her to stop talking as the tears prickling her eyes were threatening to fall.

The two of them fell asleep soon after their talk. Where Rachel's dreams were the same familiar dreams she had seen for the past ten years, Quinn's was something completely different to what she normally dreamt;

_It was white. Wherever she was, it was white. Kind of like how she pictured heaven, there was even a little glow. As well as the bright, yet comforting light, there was smoke. Wait, no not smoke, kind of like clouds. Maybe fog. Some sort of fog or mist. Then she heard the song. The song she had danced to with Rachel and then there was more light; this time it was a paler yellow glow, like the sun's rays. _

_And there, walking towards her, was her own little ray of sunshine: Rachel, wearing the most beautiful, flowing, pure white gown she had ever seen, carrying a bouquet of lilies and pink roses. Her hair was flowing in light waves around her shoulders and her eyes were smoky and sensual. Her lips parted as she glided over to her; as graceful as a swan and as enchanting as magic. She stood in front of her and whispered something. _

_"What?" Quinn spoke, trying desperately to hear her. Rachel smiled at her and spoke once again. _

"_I love you." She whispered smiling even brighter as she brought her lips to Quinn's. Before they brushed together however, Quinn felt her slip away and she found herself waking up. _

Sure, she had dreamt of Rachel but never had she dreamt of actually marrying her!

Beside her, the brunette moved and stretched her arms above her head before opening her eyes and smiling up at Quinn.

"Good morning, Rachel." Quinn smiled, stroking a lock of hair from Rachel's sleep filled eyes.

"Good morning Quinn." Rachel smiled back, holding Quinn's hand on her cheek for a quick second.

"Listen, last night I..."

"You what?" Rachel asked, scrunching her eyes slightly. "What is it?"

"I..I had this...dream and, I just wanted to-"

"Mommy!" Suddenly Heidi burst into the room and clambered on the bed, causing Rachel to sit up and tickle her little Pixie-Star. The young girl's laughter filled the room and Quinn couldn't help herself but join in the tickling. Soon all three of the girls were laughing and completely out of breath.

"Mommy, did the Princess sleep in your bed when she slept over?" Heidi asked, sitting cross legged on the middle of the bed. Rachel and Quinn looked at each other, before Quinn replied. "I did, your mom was very kind and let me share her bed with her."  
>"So you wouldn't be alone?" Heidi asked, gazing up at Quinn. Quinn looked over at Rachel, who bit her lip and raised her eyebrows at her. "Yes." Quinn smiled back at Heidi. "So I wouldn't be alone."<p>

"That's good. Mommy gets alone too, so I said she could sleep with one of my toys. But not Penguin because she's my favourite and sleeps in my bed."

"Where is Penguin, Pixie-Star?"

"Still sleeping in my bed Mommy. She's still sleepy." Heidi told her, yawning a little herself.

"Oh well, if she's still sleepy then I guess that means she can't have any pancakes."

"Pancakes?" Heidi's eyes lit up at the mention of her favourite treat food. Rachel looked slyly over at Quinn. "That's right. I was going to make pancakes today, but if Penguin is still sleepy then I guess we could just eat plain old boring cereal-"

"No! Pancakes! Please Mommy! Please?" She stuck her lower lip out, begging her mother. Rachel looked over at Quinn again, who was trying not to giggle. Rachel let out a dramatic sigh. "Well...okay then."

"Yey! I'll go wake Penguin up!"

"Go and make your bed and then go downstairs, ask grandpa to put the television on for you."

"Really?" Heidi squealed.

"Yes, as a treat for being such a good girl."  
>"Thank you Mommy!" She jumped on the bed and kissed her mother, a sloppy little kiss on the cheek, before climbing back down and running out of the room.<p>

"She's just like you!" Quinn giggled. "I mean, besides the obvious looks, she even talks like you! She's so polite and I bet she talk in paragraphs too."

"Well not quite, she is actually rather shy, but yes I did teach her manners from a very young age. I talked to her whilst she was still inside me, teaching her 'please' and 'thank you' and 'nice to meet you', stuff like that."

"She's going to grow up just like you."

"I hope not just like me."

"I hope she does."

"Come on, let's get some breakfast. I can't have you leaving on an empty stomach, before you go back to Chicago."

"_Yeah, just leave with an empty heart." _Quinn thought, as she followed Rachel getting out of bed.


	7. Love Only A Child Can See

Chapter Seven – Love Only A Child Sees

The whole family sat down round the breakfast table. Hiram, as the more domesticated Berry of the pair of Berry Men, stood at the stove, making more pancakes for the family – and Quinn – as Leroy glared at Quinn, making her feel very uncomfortable. He wasn't happy when he found out she had stayed the night, and in Rachel's bed. After what happened at their graduation party, he never thought he would see the girl ever again, and he didn't care if he never did.

As far as he was concerned, she was just a forgotten mistake in Rachel's life. He hated the idea that she was sat at _his_ table, in _his _house, next to _his _daughter, across the table from _his _granddaughter.

"So Quinn when are you leaving?" He asked, not hiding his gladness and stern voice. Rachel shot him a deathly glare. "Let me rephrase, I meant, when are you flying back to Chicago?" Quinn cleared her throat and set her cutlery down. "Well, Sir, my flight is this afternoon, five I think."

"I see." Leroy picked up his coffee

"Why you going Quinn?" Heidi asked as she struggled to cut up her smiley face shaped pancake. Frowning at the difficulty and the frustration that her mommy's friend was leaving so soon. Hiram walked over to her and sliced it up in 'Heidi Bite Size' pieces before heading back to the stove. Quinn looked over at the girl, thankful that she felt she could look away from the soul destroying glare from Rachel's dad. "Well Heidi, I was back in Lima on a vacation, and I actually live in Chicago-"

"Where is Chicago?" Heidi asked looking up from her pancake's disfigured face, forgetting that she wasn't supposed to interrupt people, especially grown ups. "It's a city far, far away from here." Leroy told her, before Quinn had the chance to. Rachel glared at him herself now and then turned to face her daughter with a sweet smile. "Actually Heidi, it isn't that far away. It's two states over, so only a couple of hours by plane."

"But it's still far away." Leroy piped in again, staring at his daughter intently.

"Are you coming back?" Heidi asked Quinn, oblivious to the heated tension in the room. Quinn let her gaze go off the little girl for a moment and she turned her face to look at the two Berrys glaring at each other. She caught Hiram's eye, who shrugged a shoulder at her and gave her a small smile. She looked back into Heidi's red tinted brown eyes and smiled. "I will yes."  
>"When?" Heidi asked, staring into Quinn's own greenhazel eyes.

"I'm not sure. Soon though." She chanced a smile at Leroy and then placed another slice of pancake, mixed with the fruit and syrup, in her mouth.

The family continued to eat their breakfast, Rachel shaking her head slowly at her dad just daring him to speak about Quinn with his hated tone in front of Heidi. He smiled at her, understanding her silent order and went back to drinking his coffee.

"Quinn's kinda like your teddy bear, right mommy?" Heidi asked as she nibbled on her pancake, munching a strawberry slice into her mouth. Leroy spluttered his coffee and Hiram laughed from his place at the sink, now washing up some of the equipment. Quinn blushed at the little girl's suggestion. Rachel simply smiled, trying to hide her laughter and her own blush. "I guess you're right." She said quietly, ignoring her dad's stare, reaching out Quinn's hand giving it a gentle squeeze to show how happy she was that Quinn was there. Even though they weren't 'together together', she was still glad they were 'together'.

Both girls smiled shyly up at each other as Heidi watched them; her own Berry-Star twinkle in her eyes shining through.

"Can I go draw mommy?" She asked.

"Are you finished with your breakfast?" Rachel asked, and Heidi nodded. "Are you sure?"

"Yes Mommy. It was good. Thank you grandpappy." She faced Hiram and smiled at him, then turned to face her mom again. "Well then I guess you can go and draw."

"Come on Pixie-Star," her daddy picked Heidi up out of her chair, placed her down on the ground and took her hand. "Let's go draw some nice pictures for Quinn to take home with her."

"Okay grandpappy!" She squealed, dragging Hiram into the family room where she kept her colours, preparing to draw the scene she had just seen in front of her: her mommy and her best friend holding hands and smiling at each other.

Leroy stared at his daughter and her _friend _for a while, before making his excuses and leaving.

"Mommy! Quinn! Come draw with me!" Heidi called from the other room.

"Okay Pixie!" Rachel called back, rolling her eyes.

"Rachel, can I speak with you for a moment? Your daddy and I would like a word." Leroy said, setting his coffee mug down on the table. "Of course dad," Rachel turned back to Quinn. "You don't mind sitting with Heidi for a second do you?"

"Of course not." Quinn smiled, although she was nervous about what Rachel's fathers wanted to talk to her about: she was sure it was about her.

Rachel walked out to meet her fathers standing by the door. Her dad with his arms crossed and her daddy holding his shoulder to calm him down.

"You wanted to talk to me?" She said, sounding strong and mirroring her dad's posture.

Quinn walked into the family room, where Heidi was drawing frantically, kneeling up to the coffee table. Quinn knelt down next to her and also began drawing.

"Quinn?"

"Yes Heidi?"

"Do you love Mommy?"

She was a little taken back by the bluntness, but them remembered that she was Rachel Berry's daughter – being blunt was in her genes!

"What do you mean?"

"I like it when you're here."

"I've only been here once Heidi!" Quinn laughed, handing her a crayon.

"Yes, but you make her smile and Mommy doesn't smile a lot."

"That's not true, she smiles whenever she's with you or thinking about you."

"But she smiles different when she's with you."

"What do you mean? How?"

"Kinda...like...when she tells me the story about the Princess."

"Which Princess?"

"The one about Princess Quinn falling in love with Peasant Girl Rachel."

"Princess Quinn?"

"Yeah, and she smiles a really happy smile whenever she tells me the story."  
>"Does the story have a happy ending?" She asked desperately. Heidi shrugged and looked down at Quinn's hands that we protectively holding hers. "I don't know." She whispered. "Mommy hasn't told me yet."<p>

"Do you think it has a happy ending?"

"Yes. I think it does. I think that Peasant Girl Rachel, will kiss Princess Quinn and that'll make everything good."

"You think so?" Quinn asked, tears almost sliding out of her eyes.

"Yeah, a kiss always works."

"Maybe you're right." She hoped anyway that the little girl was.

"So do you love mommy?" Heidi asked again, fighting against her urge to sleep.

Quinn thought about it. Did she love Rachel? Of course she did. But should she tell Heidi that before she told her mommy?

"Heidi, can you keep a secret?" She whispered. Heidi sat up, put her crayon down and stared at Quinn, knowing that she had something important to tell her. "Uh huh, I'm good at keeping secrets. I think."

"Well, you can't tell your mommy this, okay? Or your grandapa or grandpappy."

"Can I tell Penguin?"

"Well...can she keep secrets?"

"Yes! She can! She's real good at keeping secrets. She only talks to me."

"Okay then, you can tell Penguin." Quinn looked around in a big, cheesy way she'd seen in movies and cartoons before huddling closer to Heidi. "I love your mommy."

Rachel then came back in, tears prickling in her eyes. "Rachel are you okay?" Quinn asked standing up and walking over to her. She sniffled and nodded. "Yeah, just a few rather harsh words from my dad."

"About me?" Quinn asked, not being able to stop the hurt sounding through.

"Yes." Rachel whispered quietly. "But don't worry about that. I've told him that he'll have to grow up and accept that you're my friend again."

"Rachel Berry, always responsible!"

"Of course!"

Quinn spent another hour or so with Rachel and Heidi, before the time came when she had to go home and finish off her packing. Heidi walked with Rachel to the front door. "Bye Heidi, I'll see you soon okay?"

"Okay. I drawed this for you." She said as she handed Quinn the picture. Quinn smiled at Rachel and then looked at the drawing. It was a child's interpretation of what had happened at breakfast, but it was beautiful. At four years old, she was already a budding artist; she had caught the spark and the sparkles between the two adults perfectly. She;d drawn Rachel's subtle smile and her own happy grin, their hands interlocking tightly. She looked back at Heidi, who looked up at her with hopeful eyes, hoping that she liked it. "Heidi, this is the best picture I have ever seen."

"Really?" Heidi asked, grinning like her did when she was overly happy about something.

"Really. It's so fantastic in fact, that I'm going to frame it and put it on my wall so everyone can see it!"

"Wow! Did you hear that mommy? Quinn's going to put my picture up on the wall!"

"I know pixie, isn't that great?"

"Yeah! Thank you Quinn!" She lunged at the blonde and wrapped her arms around her legs, pressing her head against Quinn's thighs tightly. "Come on Heidi, let your mom say bye to her friend and we'll get you dressed." Leroy spoke, allowing Heidi to release herself from Quinn. "Okay grandpa, bye Quinn!" She called as she was walked away.

"So..." Rachel sighed,folding her arms across her chest.

"So..." Quinn mirrored Rachel's posture. Watching Rachel bit her lip, she knew she had something to say. "What is it Rachel?" Quinn asked, softening her pose a little.

"Quinn...are you sure you want to do this? I mean, you were so angry and upset when he cheated on you and what if he-"

"I have to give it another shot. I have to give him a chance."

"Who says?"

"Well, if you want me to say names; my mom for one!"

"Figures." Rachel mumbled, scoffing and rolling her eyes.

"She told me that we all make mistakes, and that I too made a mistake-"

"That's a little cruel! Bringing Beth up like that, this is completely different-"

"I know. But, she kind of has a point; I mean she forgave me for having her and-"

"She had no right!" Rachel raised her voice. "She wasn't and isn't in a position to forgive you! All she cares about is reputation Quinn, you told me that!"

"I know, but I still believe that she has a point; that I need to give him a chance."

"Well I guess if that's how you feel."

"It is. And, it pains me to do so but...I think I have to."

"You don't have to do anything!" Rachel pleaded, taking Quinn's free hand in hers. "You are your own person, Quinn. Whatever happened to 'Quinndependence?"

"Quinn what?" Quinn chuckled.

"Quinndependence, independence!"

"Rachel, as much as I appreciate what you're trying to do, I've made my mind up. I need to make a go of my marriage."

"Well, as your friend, I'll support you."

"What if you weren't my friend?"

"I'd still support you." She smiled sheepishly.

"Thank you Rachel." Quinn pulled Rachel close to her and gave her a final hug goodbye.

"Promise me you'll keep in contact this time!"

"Just try and stop me Berry! I expect you to send me photos of Heidi!"

"And I'll send you her very own pictures, no doubt she'll be drawing you and things for you for weeks!"

"Good! Glad to here it!"

"Have a safe flight, okay?"

"I will." Quinn took one final look at Rachel before she waved and said, "Bye Rach."

"Bye Quinn." Rachel whispered as she watched her go.

Later that night, as Rachel was tucking Heidi into bed, Heidi pulled out another picture.

"Is this for Quinn, too?" She asked, looking at it and admiring the colours and the shapes.

"Yes it is, will you give it to her?" Heidi asked, snuggled Penguin under her arm.

"Of course, I'll post it tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." Heidi smiled, and Rachel kissed her goodnight before standing up. "Mommy?"

"Yes Pixie-Star?" Rachel said, turning around.

"I'm happy you have Quinn."

"What do you mean, Hedi?"

"It's good you have a friend. And when she sleeps over again, you won't be lonely any more."

"I know, it's good having her around, huh?"

"Yeah, but Quinn should sleep over a lot again, you'll be lonely again." Heidi said sadly.

"Well, maybe soon Quinn will sleep over more."

"When she comes back on vacation?" Heidi asked hoepfully.

"She just might." Rachel hoped, although a part of her still wanted her to be happy with her husband, even if she wished she hadn't gone back to him."Can I ask her, next time she comes back on vacation?"

"How about you let me ask her, she might feel more comfortable with me asking."

"Okay Mommy, but when she does sleep over, can we watch a movie?"

"Of course."

"And can I pick it?"

"Of course."

"I love you Mommy."

"I love you too Heidi"


	8. The Princess's Fairwell

Chapter Eight – The Princess's Fair Well

Quinn had flown back to Chicago with a pair of heavy eyes and an equally heavy heart. It ached as soon as she left her and continued to ache throughout the flight. She didn't eat or drink anything. It was a short flight, but she wished she was flying to some far away place, just to make the dread of reality be delayed for a little longer. When the plane did land, she cried. The old man next to her held her hand and gave her a sweet smile.

"Missing someone?" He asked, offering her a sweet. She sniffled and smile back, picking a shiny red sweet from his paper bag. "How could you tell?" She asked, sucking on the sweet, filling her mouth with the strawberry flavour. He swallowed his own sour lemon sweet and chuckled, reminding her of Santa Clause. "I told my wife that I used to cry whenever I would land in a new place, just because I knew that no matter where I went there was no chance of me bumping into her. I used to have that same look in my eyes, like the spark has gone out. The reason you're alive and breathe has been sucked out of you, like a vaccume taking all the air away."

"You're right." Quinn sniffled, then wiping her eyes, feeling embarrassed. "I'm being silly."

"You're in love!" He laughed, clamping his hand on her knee. "You can't help it!" Quinn's face broke out into a bigger smile and she laughed too. "Oh to be young and in love, right?" She said.

"Exactly, I remember being young and in love. Now I'm just old and in love!"

"Does it get better? Easier? I mean, being separated from the woman you love?" Quinn asked, curious to know if her pain would leave. It never left ten years ago, but now it just felt stronger and harder. More knives being driven into her, twisting in every direction, sliding deeper and deeper into her. The man let out an extended sigh. "I don't know. Sometimes it can seem like you're getting...well..better, unable to come with a better word! But then, you feel something or smell something or..well, you just sense something and you're transported back into thinking of her."  
>"I know what you mean." Quinn sighed sadly.<p>

"So what's her name?" He asked. Quinn looked up at him and he raised his eyebrows. "I'm only assuming you're pinning over a woman because you said 'woman' and not 'person' or 'man'. You don't give off a vibe or anything if you're concerned." Quinn smiled at his words and took another sweet from his bag. This time blackcurrent. "Rachel." She sighed and as soon as her name fell off her lips, she saw her face behind her own eyes. "Don't worry, you'll get back to her soon." He patted her hand and got up and out of his seat. "Maybe sooner than you think." He took his bag from the overhead locker and Quinn looked up at him. "What's your wife's name?" She asked. The man sent her sad smile, "Her name _was_ also Rachel. Small world huh?"

"_Not small enough." _

Soon, she fell back into her old routien. She'd grovelled at the feet of her former boss and was now working for him again, this time not even demanding to be given the good cases. She didn't care. No longer cared about the people she would be deffending. In her mind, she thought they didn't deserve it. All she cared about was focusing on a future with her husband.

The thought made her shiver and every time they set about the 'challenge' of trying to start a family, she would just close her eyes and pretend it was Rachel. She didn't care, the only thing she focused on was not screaming her name out. Whenever she was about to, she would simply clamp her hand over her mouth. She knew that having a child wasn't going to fix her marriage, nothing would, but at least if she did have a child it would be a distraction. When really, there was only one child she wanted. Well, two and they both had their own moms.

"I want to be a mom." She sighed as she lay in her husband's arms as he stroked patterns on her flat stomach. "I know you do," he huffed, "and I'm trying all right?"  
>"I know you are. We've both been under stress." She tried to make an excuse, but she couldn't help think that maybe God was playing his part; seeing that she didn't really want a child with him. She had her chance of motherhood and she gave it up. Granted, by her not being ready it meant that Shelby could be a real mother again. But still, it hurt.<p>

"God can be cruel." She whispered, her hand reaching up to her gold cross and she held it between her finger and thumb. Her husband sighed heavily next to her. "Yeah, real cruel." He wanted to make a comment about how she had a chance at being a mom, but he didn't think it would do him any favours.

"Maybe we should get checked out?" Quinn suggested, knowing that she was probably okay, but then maybe God was being cruel and thought that she had given up her opportunity to be a mother.

She knew her husband wouldn't be up for it, but she knew how to make him change his stubborn mind.

It didn't take long to persuade him, and by the beginning of October, they had their tests and their results.

They weren't good.

Where she was fine and would probably have no problem conceiving again, her husband on the other hand had complications, and the doctor told him it would be unlikly that he would be able to father a child naturally.

Soon, they fell back into their own routien; ignoring each other, laying next to each other in bed scared to touch each other, even the slightest graze. He moved into the spare room, just so he didn't have the chance to even accidentally roll over on her side.

They kept up the charade that they were still husband and wife; but really they were just two people who wore wedding rings and shared a house.

They weren't husband and wife. They were just two people following rules.

"Honey I'm back! Ugh you won't believe the day I've had! It's been crazy!" Quinn called, only calling him 'honey' because it felt...not right but needed.

It was as if she was hit with a flash of the past. Everything felt the same as the last time; the atmosphere and the mood. She sighed as she walked to the bedroom. Not _their_ bedroom but _the_ bedroom.

"What the hell is this?" She shouted, not feeling angry with him but with herself. "You promised me you had changed!" Again, she wasn't angry with him but with herself.

"I have changed!"

"Oh yeah, changed sexual partners!"

"No!"

"Oh yes you have, and this time the change is this; I am divorcing you. I should never have given you a second chance."

"Quinn, wait!"

"No! I don't care if you can't have kids naturally, that is no excuse to go planting your worthless seed in every woman in Chicago! We're through Eric!"

"Quinn-"

"Don't. The only time I want to hear from you again, is when we meet to discuss who gets to keep the house."

"What you're kicking me out?"

"I'm sure you can stay with one of your harlots, I on the other hand can not stay here."

"You're going back to Ohio?"

"It's where I belong. With someone I truly love."

"So you've been cheating on me too?"

"No! Because unlike you, I am faithful when I'm in relationships!"

"Oh yeah, except for that time when you were sixteen and had a baby with your boyfriend's best friend!"

The punch and Eric's groan echoed around the apartment. It felt good as her fist flew through the air and connected with his nose.

"Don't. You. Ever. Mention. That. Again." Quinn warned through gritted teeth.

Catching the earliest flight to Ohio, Quinn made her way back home.

"Mom can I move back in?"

"What happened to giving it another chance?"

"Some things don't deserve second chances."

"But Quinn-"

"Mom, he's a jerk. Okay, he is. He cheated on my again, he never wanted to be a husband; he's always going to be one of those guys that spends their life sleeping around with as many women as he can and I am not waiting around for him to grow up and be a real man."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to divorce him as soon as I can and then I am going to marry Rachel."

"What?"

"Mom I'm in love with Rachel."

"Since when?"

"Since forever. Since I fist saw her, since I first heard her sing, since I first kissed her and since I first saw her daughter. I love her mom and..I'm sorry if you can't handle that-"

"I can Quinn."

"I know before you couldn't."

"That was a mistake. Your father and I should never have made you two break up."

"You're right you shouldn't have, and I'll never be able to forgive you for that, but that only just shows and proves to me how much I am willing to fight for her."

"And does she feel the same way?"

"I know she does, I just have to get her to admit it."

"Well, Quinn, as much as your father doesn't agree, I don't care about his prejudices. I love you. You are my daughter and all I care about is your happiness. Before it was all about appearances but I know that you love her and you have my full support."

"Thank you mom. Do I also have your blessing, to go and marry another girl?"

"You have an entire bible's full of blessings from me!"

"That means a lot."

"And I know Rachel means a lot to you too."

"Too much to me! But not just her, Heidi too. I want to be a..well..a parent to her too."

"Well, at least you're not going to be a 'father' to her."

"Would you settle for 'mommy number two'?" Quinn smirked, enjoying a little at how much her mother would cringe at the idea of having Quinn be another child's 'second mother'. Judy sucked in her cheeks and clasped her hand over Quinn's. "It'll take a little while getting used to it but..sure, why not. If Rachel can have two fathers then..then why can't Heidi have two mothers?"

"This is going to kill you, isn't it mom?"

"It'll kill your father before it kills me, but at least I will die happy knowing that you are happy."

"Thank you mom."

"So," Judy breathed deeply, almost like a sigh, "Tell me your game plan; how are you going to get Rachel back?"

Quinn raised her infamous Fabray eyebrow and smirked at her, "By doing the only thing that I know will truly get Rachel to marry me; woo her with all of the Broadway romance she deserves."


	9. Princess on a Mission

Chapter Nine – Fears And Memories

October had rolled around quicker than Rachel anticipated, and soon Heidi was running up to her after school with drawings and designs of the different costumes she wanted to wear for Halloween.

The leaves had changed colour and the cold air was really beginning to settle in now. Soon the frost would be arriving and then a whole knew year would arrive.

"_I wonder what surprises await for me." _Rachel sighed to herself, watching a leaf fall from a near by tree and sway over to her. She smile sweetly as she pursed her lips and blew it so that it flipped and danced in the air once again.

Rachel stood at the playground wrapping her arms around her shoulders and biting her lip. Heidi had been at school – well, kindergarten – for nearly two months now, and she couldn't believe that pretty soon her little girl would be turning five, gradually progressing to become a 'big girl'. Five years had just flown by. In her head, she started to hum, soon quietly singing to herself, a song from legendary Broadway production of 'Mamma Mia' by the brilliant band 'Abba'.

"_Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning, waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile. I watch her go. With a surge of that well-known sadness and I have to sit down for a while. The feeling that I'm loosing her forever, and without really entering her world I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter that funny little girl_

_Slipping through my fingers all the time I try to capture every minute. The feeling in it slipping through my fingers all the time do I really see what's in her mind each time I think I'm close to knowing. She keeps on growing. Slipping through my fingers all the time_

_Sleep in our eyes. Her and me at the breakfast table. Barely awake I let precious time go by then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling and a sense of guilt I can't deny. What happened to the wonderful adventures the places I had planned for us to go well some of that we did but most we didn't, and why I just don't know_

_Slipping through my fingers all the time I try to capture every minute the feeling in it. Slipping through my fingers all the time do I really see what's in her mind each time I think I'm close to knowing. She keeps on growing. Slipping through my fingers all the time-"  
><em>

"Is it your first child?" Rachel was brought of her thoughts and singing by hearing one of the other moms speak to her. She stopped abruptly and cleared her throat, not wanting anyone to hear her sing.

She still hadn't plucked up enough courage to talk to anyone, except for the brief 'hello, how are you' small talk. They were glamorous moms who all went out to brunch after dropping their kids off and, although they didn't drive around in gas guzzling four by fours, they still had the fanciest cars in Lima. Rachel only ever used her car to get to work, never really taking Heidi in it. She'd always seen herself as a 'friend of the earth' but really she was just more interested in the simple things; nature, the air, songs...not materialistic things. Not since Louis anyway. Although she would still drum into Heidi that dreams weren't the most important thing, it was making those dreams come true and accomplishing your goals.

Rachel turned to face the woman; she looked a little older than herself, but still, Rachel was a youngish mom, so that was to be expected.

"Yes. She is. Heidi, her name's Heidi." She smiled, looking back at the door again, waiting for her to run out and greet her with a dozen new pictures. "What about you?"

"Oh no, I have six children." The woman replied, laughing at little.

"Six? My goodness!" Rachel gasped, her eyes widening. "I bet that's hard."  
>"Well it would be, but my husband is very hands on. He normally picks them up but he had to work late. Men eh?" She laughed again, straightening her hat.<p>

"Yeah," Rachel agreed a little quieter. "You're right."

"You might have seen him here, Monty? Monty Scott? Always comes in a suit and has a funny looking moustache and even funnier looking glasses?"

"I think so...kind of short?"

"Yes! That's him! That's my little monkey!"

"Does he not mind you call him that and describe him in such a way?"

"Oh no, not at all. I used to call him 'monkey' in high school, he called me 'giraffe' so it kind of stuck. I'm sure you and your husband have little nicknames for each other?" Rachel's eyes looked briefly away from the tall woman's blue eyes. "Well...yes we..we used to."

"Used to? Oh, I'm sorry you're divorced?" She gave her that sympathetic look that Rachel was used to. She steadied herself and prepared to get given a more heart felt sympathetic look that she was even more used to. "Widow actually." She sighed, rolling her eyes slightly.

"_Why do people keep bringing it up?" _She asked herself.

She heard the woman gasp and felt her hand on her shoulder. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry. He wasn't a marine was he? My sister in law's brother is in the marines, he's over in Tehran right now-"

"No he's not. He er...actually, would mind if I didn't-"

"No of course not. Still, if ever you need anyone to take care of..Heidi did you say? Just let me know."

"Oh no, I couldn't ask you to do that. You already have your hands full."

"Honestly, one more wouldn't hurt. I hardly see the teenagers; always in their rooms or 'out', and the others are in middle school. I'm just glad Lucy still sees me as some sort of Goddess!" The woman laughed again, now looking over at the door too and saw that the children were starting to come out. "You're daughter's name is Lucy?" Rachel asked, thinking instantly of Quinn.

"Yeah, I've tried to name all my children after characters from books; Lucy from 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe', Philip from 'Great Expectations', Lara from 'Doctor Zhviago, Harry from 'Harry Potter' – I know, kind of childish, Lawrence from 'Lawrence of Arabia and finally my eldest son Robbie from 'Atonement'."

"Well, those are great names. That's very creative."

"Thank you. Still, Heidi, that's a book isn't it?"

"It is. I read it as a little girl and..well I've always liked it."

"Well, I bet she's as pretty as you are."

"Here she comes now, see for yourself." Rachel said, beaming at her little clone.

Sure enough, Heidi was running up to her, her little backpack stuffed full of drawings and her hands full of them too.

"Mommy!" She squealed as she jumped into Rachel's arms, as Rachel crouched down to scoop her up. "Oh you're lucky you can still do that, still you are young!" The woman laughed again as her own daughter ran up to her. "Well, this little one keeps me young." Rachel said, balancing Heidi on her hip. "So, Pixie-Star, how many pictures did you draw for me today?" Rachel asked, straightening Heidi's own little hat. "Ten!" She shouted, making Rachel wince at the volume, but gasped comically. "Ten! My goodness, we won't have enough wall space."

"We can give some to grandpa and grandpappy and some to Quinn when she next comes from Chicago!" Rachel felt the other woman look at her with curiosity, she turned herself around to see her, holding Lucy's hand. "Who's Quinn?" She asked with a bright smile.

"Mommy's best friend. She lives in Chicago which is two states over so it only takes a couple hours to get there by aeroplane." She beamed at her mom, seeking for reassurance that she got all of the memorised information correct. "My goodness, your little Heidi is very bright for a four year old."

"Thank you, Miss Lucy's Mom." Heidi thanked, giving the woman her own version of Rachel's megawatt smile. "Well we'd best get going." Rachel said, "You'll see Lucy tomorrow."

"By Lucy." Heidi waved.

"By Heidi." Lucy called back, wiggling her fingers.

"I'll see you tomorrow too?" Rachel asked the woman. She smiled and shrugged, explaining that she might have to work, and Rachel began to walk away, chatting to Heidi and asking her questions about her day.

Just as the woman was preparing to leave herself, a smart looking woman walked up to her.

"Georgia, don't you know who that was?" The woman asked, looking down her nose as the now far away Rachel. "No, should I?" Georgia asked, pulling Lucy along with her as she walked with the snooty woman. "That is Rachel Berry."

"The Rachel Berry? From Broadway?" Georgia asked, gasping and whipping her head round but seeing that Rachel had already gone. The snooty woman nodded her head. "The very same. The one who's husband got shot on stage and died, leaving her to raise their daughter with her two gay fathers."

"Gay fathers?" Georgia exclaimed. The woman raised her eyebrow at her and nodded her head. "Well, I will certainly not allow Lucy to go and play around at that house." She scolded, wishing she had never spoken to the woman. "Probably best, we're lucky there aren't a lot of gays around here in Lima."

"Just a shame that her daughter comes here."

"Still, we'll just keep out of the Berry's way."

"Excellent idea."

The two women walked away, discussing things other than Rachel's private life.

Little did they realise that a certain blonde was watching out for Rachel and had heard every word, and it made her blood boil to think her parents – well her own mom – used to just be like them. And it made her want to protect and be with Rachel even more. If not just for Rachel's sake, but for Heidi's too. She desperately didn't want her growing up with the same cruel, ignorant treatment Rachel was subjected to.

"Mommy, I don't know what I want to go as." Heidi complained over dinner.

"What are your friends going as Pixie?" Rachel asked as she cut up Heidi's vegetarian sausages.

"Anna's going as a witch, Harlow's going as a cat, Liam's going as a wizard, Billy's going as a ghost and Cameron's going as a skellington."  
>"You mean skeleton, pixie." Hiram laughed, ruffling Heidi's hair as he moved to sit down.<p>

"That's what I said." Heidi pouted, then stabbing her piece of sausage with her fork.

"Well, why don't you go as a Pixie?" Rachel suggested, blowing on her food and putting it in her mouth. "Pixies aren't scary, Mommy."

"Well neither are cats and you said Harlow's going as one." Leroy commented, pouring a himself a glass of water after offering some to Rachel and Hiram. "But she's going as a scary cat!"

"Oh I see." Leroy rolled his eyes playfully.

"You know Heidi, you don't have to go as something scary." Rachel told her, pouring some more water in Heidi's pink plastic cup. "But it's Halloween, Mommy. It's aposed to be scary."

"Not necessarily pixie," Leroy sliced up a carrot and scoop up some mashed potato, "One year your mommy went dressed as Eva Peron and instead of saying 'Trick or Treat' she sang 'Don't Cry for Me Argentina'."

"In fact most years she dressed up as a Broadway character!" Hiram chuckled, although not realising that the reference to her Broadway past made her suddenly lose her appetite.

"Who's Argentina?" Heidi asked, acting just like Rachel and wanting to know as much information as possible. "Argentina is a country in South America." Hiram told her.

"Is it far away?" Heidi asked, although her mouth was full of food.

"Yes. It is quite a long way away."

"More than Chicago?" She asked, finally swallowing her food.

Hiram looked over to Rachel, who's eyes were focused on her food, although now she wasn't in the mood for eating. He looked back at Heidi, but directed his words to Rachel. "No honey. Argentina is a lot further away than Chicago. You can go to Chicago whenever you want, it's not far away at all."

"But it's still far away." Leroy piped up. "Do you want to hear more about Eva Peron, Heidi?" He asked, using his storytelling voice. "Yes please." Heidi asked, setting her little knife and fork down and taking a big dribbling sip of her water.

As Leroy began to basically tell the whole story of 'Evita' to Heidi, listening intently, Hiram leaned over to Rachel and took her hand. She was still staring at her food, thinking now of Quinn. He squeezed her fingers and she looked up at him. He smiled at her and raised his eyebrows. She smiled back and pulled her hand away. 

"Who wants dessert?" She asked, standing up and clearing away her barely touched plate.

"Me!" Heidi squealed, sticking her hand up in the air.

Meanwhile, back at the Fabray's residence, Quinn sat at the dining room table staring off into space thinking of what she has heard at the school gates.

"So did you see her?" Judy asked, serving Quinn her plate of food and sitting down opposite her.  
>"See who?" Russell asked as he walked in.<p>

"No one daddy." Quinn replied, taking a sip of water.

"Sorry I'm late, awful traffic." Russell apologised as he kissed Judy on the cheek and then gave Quinn a quick kiss on her head. "Darling you're working too hard." Judy complained, passing him the jug of water. "Nonsense Judy," he protested, taking the water jug and pouring himself a large glass. "I'm just working late. There's a big order coming into one of the businesses and I need to make sure it's all running smoothly. I don't want a repeat of the Hanson situation." He shuddered as he attacked his steak. "Oh Judy, this isn't nearly enough well done!" He growled, putting his knife and fork down and leaning back in his chair. "It isn't?" Judy asked, standing up and moving to him. "No it's not, look, I can still see pink!" Judy apologised and took his plate away and walked back into the kitchen to recook his food. "Honestly Judy I thought you knew how to make a good steak!"

"Don't talk to her like that." Quinn snapped.

Her father glanced at her, surprised by her words and tone. "Excuse me?"

"All I'm saying is," she placed her own cutlery down and looked over at her father, sat at the head of the table as usual. "Give her a little credit. She's worked hard all day and cooked you a great meal and all you can do is complain?"

"You better watch your tone young lady, you may be going through a difficult time now, what with your divorce and all, but remember that you are living under my roof and-"

"I need to follow your rules, I know." Quinn rolled her eyes and sighed. "I'm not a teenager any more dad, all I'm saying is-"

"Damn right you're not a teenager any more, that means you should be well aware of what respect is and know how to use it."

"Here's you steak dear." Judy came back into the room and gave Quinn a quick look, telling her to drop the issue immediately.

Quinn just sighed and continued to eat in silence. She listened to her parents talk as if she wasn't in the room or even existed. After about ten minutes of no longer even pretending to eat her food, she stood up.

"Excuse me." She mumbled and walked away from the table.

"Where are you going Quinn?" Her father asked. Quinn ignored him and looked straight at her mother. "I have to go see someone."

"Now? But we're eating-"

Quinn didn't here the rest of his sentence as she left as Quickly as she could.

She pulled up at the Berry's front door and knocked on it, hoping that Rachel herself would answer.

Her prayer was answered, and Rachel flung the door open with a big greeting smile on her face.

"Quinn?" She was a little shocked to see the girl standing in front of her. "What are you doing here? I thought you were back in Chicago?" She couldn't hide her excitement and she threw her arms around the girl.

Quinn hugged back and clamped her arms around her, wanting to keep her there forever. As they broke away, she began to speak. She'd prepared a little speech on the way over, but seeing Rachel again made her forget everything. "Can I talk to you?" Quinn asked, keeping her voice quiet, unsure if Heidi had gone to sleep yet. "Sure. What is it?" Rachel asked, closing the door slightly.

"Rach, I want to give us another try." She said quickly, sighing with relief that she had finally said it.

Rachel made her own sigh, and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Quinn-"

"No, before you say no just..here me out."

"Quinn no, all right." The blonde was taken aback by the harsh, sharp tone she was using as she spoke. "We're friends. Okay? We have been since high school, and, sure we were once together...romantically, but that was just once. One year. Then we went off to collage and we've both grown up and become different people."

"I don't believe you."

"Well it doesn't matter if you do or don't, the latter still remains the same. We're different people now Quinn-"

"No we're not! You are exactly the same, you haven't changed one bit. You are still the sweet, caring, adorable, bubbly, beautiful girl that I fell in love with."

"Quinn-"

"I've seen the way you look at me and I know exactly how I look at you-"

"But you're just reliving old memories. Childish memories-"

"There was nothing about our relationship that was childish and you know it."

"If that was so then why did you break it up? Why did you ruin it?"

"You know why Rachel."

"Exactly, and that's why it wouldn't work now. You're getting a divorce, I'm a widow-"

"Some would say it's perfect timing!"

"Well it's not!" Rachel shouted. The tears were brimming in her eyes, but she refused to let them go.

Quinn breathed, trying to relax, but she felt that she was losing her. She couldn't lose her. Not again.

"Well what about the story?" She asked in a quiet voice, knowing she had broken one of Rachel's weaknesses when it came to her love.

"What story?" Rachel hissed, knowing she was rumbled.  
>"Our story, Rachel. The Princess and the Peasant!"<p>

"I..I don't know what you're talking-"

"She told me, Rachel. Heidi told me about the story. Princess Quinn and Peasant Girl Rachel."

"Quinn-"

"You've had feelings for me all this time and you never mentioned-"

"How could I Quinn? I was just enjoying your friendship, being your friend, being with you as a friend! I was afraid that you'd hurt me! Hurt us! Like you did before!"

"How many times do I have to apologise for that?" Quinn shouted, fed up of having to relay old ground. "I don't know, Quinn, until I feel safe again!" Rachel matched her volume.

"Rachel I can make you safe again I can-"

"What do you want from me Quinn? Huh? Aren't you still afraid of your parents? Aren't you still afraid of everything?"

"I want you Rachel!"

"Yeah well, you wanted me before and look what happened."

"I was stupid back then, and yeah, I was afraid of my parents but I'm not any more!"

"Oh well, the timing isn't great Quinn!"

"Sure it is, we're both not tied down to anyone-"

"I am! I have a daughter, Quinn, remember?"

"Yeah I do and I love that little girl like she's my own flesh and blood!"

"But she's not! All right, she's not and she will never be. You hurt me too much Quinn. Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? Years! I never once forgot you or the pain you caused me. Every time I used to sing a song and I would have to cry, I thought of you and the way you broke my heart."

"Rachel I..I'm so-"

"Don't say it, all right. I don't care. Just, get out of my life Quinn. Let me spend another ten years trying to forget you and live my life with my daughter."

"Rachel please-"

"Leave me alone. Go and get divorced, get remarried again, I don't care! Just stay out of mine and Heidi's life. For good."

And with her last bit of bite Rachel slammed the door in Quinn's face. She turned around, gasped and threw herself against the wood; clamping her hand against her mouth and crying loudly as she slid to the ground. One hand ran up her hot, tear stained face and fisted her hair, clutching it and pulling it as if trying to rip out her own hair was going to get rid of the pain she felt.

"Mommy!" Heidi cried, running over to her and collapsing by her. "What's wrong?" She asked, trying to climb on her mom and wrap her small arms around her. "Nothing," Rachel sniffled, "Nothing is wrong."

"You're sad." Heidi sad, sounding and feeling sad too.

"A little." Rachel admitted. "But I'm...I'm okay." But she wasn't, as soon as she said she was okay her tears spluttered out and she pulled her little girl close to her for a tight hug.

Quinn could still feel Rachel's presence against the door. She heard her blood-curdling sobs and smacked her own forehead against the door, thumping her fist to it. A single tear slipping out of her eyes. She remain there until she heard Rachel's sobs die down and she was sure that she had gone. Sucking in all of her remaining sadness, Quinn let herself go from the door and away from Rachel's house.

"Give me strength," she whispered as she looked up at the sky, her attention changing to Rachel's bedroom window as the light flickered on, "I don't give up Rachel. And I won't give up on you."

She returned to the Berry's house later that week when she knew Heidi would be in bed, so there was no way there could be any shouting.

As soon as Rachel opened the door Quinn spoke;

"Rachel can we talk? Without the anger?"

Rachel looked at her; her eyes shifting a little until she gave up.

"Sure. Heidi's asleep so we have to be quiet." Rachel quietened herself and stepped outside.

"Is she okay?" Asked Quinn, concerned and looking for the young girl, even though the door was closed. "Yes. She's fine."

"What about you? Are you okay?"

"Yes." Rachel answered coldly.

"Rachel you can't deny it any more; you love me."

"Quinn of course I feel something for you, of course I love you. But I'm just so afraid you'll break my heart again."

"What more can I do or say to prove to you that I won't?"

"I don't know!"

"You're not afraid of getting your heart broken; you're afraid that you'll be dishonouring Louis's memory, by falling in love with me again, you're scared that you'll be disrespecting him!"

"Yes! Okay, I am scared of that, I'm scared of all those things, okay?"

"Well I want to show you that I love you and won't ever make you feel guilty for loving me like you used to!"

"That love I had for you, never left!"

"What?"

"I loved Louis. I love him, of course I do! But, never like I love you. I never loved Louis in the way I loved you!"

"So now you're...what? Punishing yourself?"

"No!"

"Yes you are Rachel! You already gave up singing, as a form of repenting and atoning, but look how I helped you, how I made you realise that you can sing again! And I can make you see that you can love me again, Rachel. You can just have to trust yourself and let go!"

"I'm just scared of the fears and the memories."

"Rachel I promise you from the bottom of my heart, swearing to you will the whole of my existence, for the sake of the entire human race; I will never ever hurt you again. I will wipe away those fears and kiss away those memories and make way for new memories. I love you Rachel, I don't know how many times I have to say it but I love you too much to live without you. I can't sleep knowing that I'll wake up and you're not there. Please Rachel, please say you love me back."

"I do love you, but Quinn-"

"No. No Rachel please, no buts. Just..just think about it okay? I can make you happy and safe and..and just please, give me a chance."

"Okay. I'll give you a chance."

"You will?"

"One chance!"

"Okay. That's all I ask, for now. I will you treat you like the Princess you don't know you are."

She walked away smiling up at the dark sky looming over her.

"I will woo you Rachel Berry." She whispered, feeling herself grow in excitement.


	10. The Past Is Always Present

**WARNING: Anti-Semitic and anti-gay reference – as a Jew myself, and a proud one, I obviously don't care for it and think it is completely, one hundred percent wrong. As for the anti-gay references, I also think that is completely wrong. Love is love. It shouldn't matter. A quote from one of my favourite movies; "Love is. It just is and nothing you can say can make it go away because it is the point of why we are here, it is the highest point and once you are up there, looking down on everyone else, you're there forever. Because if you move, right, you fall. You fall" **

**Okay, rant over. FWI = Proud Jew and completely anti-homophobic. **

Chapter Ten - The Past Is Always Present

"Quinn you look-"

"Allow me. Rachel, you look beyond beautiful. May I have the honer as to take you out tonight?"

"You may." Rachel blushed, turning around to lock the door.

They made their way out, walking along the streets and heading towards their old high school football pitch.

"What are we doing here?" Rachel asked, as they ascended the bleachers. Nothing had changed. Not one thing. Rachel giggled to herself as she thought that Coach Sylvester was still probably coaching the cheerios, still as fierce as ever.

Quinn wiped the seat with her hand to clear it of invisible dust and held her hand as she sat down.

"If I was a guy," Quinn began, still holding Rachel's hands and looking at her, "I would take you hear on our first date. I didn't because, I'm not a guy and I wanted to do something girly and romantic for our first date. But, I think you really need to see this." She turned her head and stared across the pitch, wanting Rachel's eyes to follow her.

They both looked out to the setting sun and they watched the glow in front of them.

"Quinn, it's beautiful"

"Like you." Quinn told her seriously, seeing the glow dance on Rachel's features.

"How did you know the sunset here was this beautiful"? Rachel asked, biting her lip to stop herself from smiling too much. Quinn shrugged and took a quick breath, bending her neck to look down at the ground and then back at the hypnotising yellow glow.

"That day," they both knew which one she was talking about and didn't need an explanation, "I came up here to cry and to think. I stayed out here for so long that I woke up to the sunrise and I stayed out here until I really had to go back. But, for the next week or so, I kept coming back just to bathe in the sun's stunning light. The sunset calmed me, but every time it eventually sank down into the earth and the last of its bright rays vanished, I felt a piece of my heart go along with it too. And, I knew that I didn't want that to happen to us. When I would wake up to the sunrise, no matter how crappy the weather was, seeing the little rays bloom into big ones, it gave me hope and solace that one day, we would be together once more."

Rachel felt moved by her words and she couldn't compete with them, so she simply pulled herself close to Quinn and lay her head on her shoulder and they watched the sun go down in silence.

Quinn took Rachel back to her house and just before Rachel went inside, she pulled her close to her and felt hungry at the idea of hugging Rachel again.

Quinn leaned into Rachel and held her close to her. Breathing on her neck and moving her lips close to her ear, she whispered all the words she hoped would make Rachel fall in love with her all over again.

"I love your smile and the way you make me smile. I love the way you walk, talk and laugh. I love you with my heart and soul, I love everything about you, inward and outward I love the way you brighten up a room, I love the way you love me, I love the way you make me feel. You make me feel at the top of the world! You just make me feel so good. I love you so much..."

Quinn turned her face and began kissing and sucking on Rachel's neck. She felt her knees buckle as she felt Rachel moan and sigh. She pulled her lips off of her and then leaned into Rachel's mouth, closing her eyes at the last second as her lips connected with Rachel's.

Just as Quinn was about to deepen the kiss, Rachel suddenly snapped back into her reality and pushed her away.

"Wait!"

"What is it?"

"Quinn..no."

"No?"

"No! No you, you can't just whisper sweet nothings in my ear and kiss me and pretend that we don't have a past!"

"I'm not trying to pretend Rachel. I just want to-"

"Well you can't just want to Quinn! I..I won't let you, I won't let you just manipulate me into being with you-"

"Manipulate you? No, Rach I don't want to. I would never-"

"But you did! You did Quinn and I...I can't. Okay, I just can't. I'm sorry."

"No Rachel, I'm sorry-"

"I gave you a chance and you've blown it! I wanted to take this slowly Quinn!"

"I'm sorry, Rachel I'm sorry."

"You should go."

"Rachel-"

"Just...please."

"Please Quinn, don't make this harder than it has to be."

"Fine. I'll go, but I'm not giving up."

"Sometimes you have to."

"Quinn Fabray is not a quitter, and I get what I want."

"And you want me?" Rachel tried to laugh, although the tears were streaming down her face. Quinn gave her a sideways smile. "I want you. Forever."

"Quinn-"

"I'll leave you to your thoughts." Quinn gave her a fuller smile and then continued her way down Rachel's garden path, got in her car and drove home.

That night Rachel was certainly left with her thoughts. As was Quinn. Even though they were separated by barely a few miles, they were connected by the same thought and dream.

Starting off as their perfect moment;

"_I love you Rachel."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_What will your parents say?"_

"_I don't care." Quinn grabbed Rachel's neck and tried to connect their lips._

"_But you have to care-"_

"_Rachel the only person I care about in this world is you! Just you, forever just you!" _

Ending with the worst moments in their lives concerning each other;

"_Daddy please-" _

"_I don't want to hear it Quinn!" _

"_But dad, it's not-" _

"_I saw you kissing her!" _

"_No!"_

"_No? Are you calling me a liar?" _

"_No Sir."_

"_Are you calling me stupid?"_

"_No Sir."_

"_Are you calling me wrong?" _

_There was a slight hesitation from Quinn. _

_Yes, she was calling him wrong, but there was no way in hell that she could tell him that._

_He noticed and he slammed his fist on the coffee table, making the room shake like a clap of thunder had just rumbled. _

"_So tell me, Quinn. If you didn't kiss her, then what happened?" _

"_I...I...I don't know."_

"_You don't know? Or are you just trying to protect yourselves?"_

"_No Sir!" _

"_Are you trying to protect her?" _

_Again, another hesitation. _

_She couldn't have her father mad at her. She couldn't. But at the same time, she couldn't have her father mad at Rachel. _

_Still...maybe that was better than him being mad at her. _

"_Yes." She whispered. _

"_Yes what?" _

"_Yes Sir, I..I am trying to protect her." _

"_Did she force herself upon you?" Quinn swallowed as she realised she would have to lie to save her own skin. "Quinn, did she force herself upon you? Did she force you to sin with her?" _

"_Yes!" She cried, "Yes Sir!" _

"_Has she done it before?" Her father asked, calming down a little, but Quinn knew that his anger would only flare up again. _

_Had she done it before? Oh yes. Many, many times before. And she had done it to her. Heck, she had been the one to take Rachel's virginity! She was the one that initiated the act! None of it was Rachel's fault, and yet, to save herself, she had to make it look like it was. She had to lie to save herself. _

"_Yes Sir." She said quietly. "Many times."_

"_For how long?"_

"_A few...months."_

"_Months? How many?" _

"_Since...since New Year, maybe Christmas-"_

"_Maybe Christmas?" Her father's volume had picked up again and his face turned red once more._

"_Yes. Sir. Since Christmas. We kissed on Christmas day." _

"_You kissed on Our Lord and Saviour's Birthday!" Her father was furious. _

"_Yes Sir."_

"_She caused you to sin with her..." He had to compose himself, he screeched a little before continuing his rant. "Just like a Jew! She ruined our Saviour's day! Have you committed other sinful acts with her?" _

"_Daddy-" _

"_Answer the question!" He bellowed.  
>"Yes." She finally looked away, too ashamed of herself, not because of her love for Rachel but for making it seem like her fault. "What did you do?" Quinn looked up at him again. "What did she make you do, Quinn?" <em>

"_I took her virginity." Quinn whispered, a deep blush forming on her cheeks. _

"_What?" He hissed. "You..she...what?" _

"_We had sex, daddy." _

_There was more shouting and even objects being thrown and smashed. _

_Quinn still tried to hold back her tears; her whole body was trembling. _

_Her father walked back to her once he has stopped yelling at himself. He hadn't calmed down, but he was just ready to deliver the final blow. _

"_I do not want you to see that girl again, Quinn do you hear me?" _

"_But daddy-"_

"_Ever again, you hear me Lucy?" _

"_Yes Sir."_

"_Say it." _

"_S..say it?" _

"_Say that you will never ever see that..that lesbian freak again!" _

_Quinn tried to sniffle and hold back the tears; her own father was breaking her heart, but there was no way she could risk being disowned again. She'd just started to enjoy living at home again with her parents. _

_Her father glared into her eyes, forcing her to say what she never wanted to say. _

"_I will never see her again." _

"_You promise that you will never see who again?" He father lowered his voice. Quinn swallowed again, wanting her eyes to leave her father's. But she couldn't. She didn't know what he would do to her if she disobeyed him by not looking him in the eye. "I promise..that I will never, ever see.." She paused to take a shaky breath; "I promise that I will never, ever see Rachel. That lesbian freak ever again." _

"_I don't want to hear you say her name, do you understand me?" Her father pointed his finger at Quinn and she nodded her head. "Yes Sir. Never again." _

_Quinn had never cried so much in her life. Well, not yet anyway. The next day, the next evening, she was going to cry harder than any human had ever cried in the history of the world. _

_All throughout graduation, Quinn felt sick at the task she was being forced to do. _

_All throughout graduation, Rachel smiled and winked and mouthed 'soon we'll be together'. She'd never looked so happy and excited yet nervous in all her life, and that alone killed Quinn a little more. Thankfully for her they weren't sat together, because of their alphabetical order, but that didn't stop Rachel from turning around during the applause of the speeches and smiling at her; her eyes lighting up with hope for their future. Quinn smiled back, her own eyes glazing over with tears that she wiped away on the sleeve of her red and white gown, before they had a chance to form._

"_This is going to be the worst day of my life." She told herself, as she saw Rachel walk up to the stage to make her speech as Captain of the winning New Directions. Quinn couldn't take her eyes off her; she was magnificent. And although she could feel her father's glare burning through the back of her head, she ignored him and focused on soaking the angelic sight in front of her. Her Rachel. Forever and ever eternally her Rachel. Even if she knew they wouldn't be together. _

"_Laddies and gentlemen, adored parents, faithful teachers, fellow students, and of course the outstanding Glee Club members of New Directions," her gaze flickered over to Quinn and she couldn't help but beam with pride. She knew her fathers – and Shelby too – were sniffling in the seats saved for the parents, and she couldn't help herself but sniffle too. She wanted nothing more but to have a familiar face squeeze her hand and somehow elevate her towards Rachel. But that didn't happen, and instead she held herself together and listened to the remainder of her short, but heartfelt speech. _

_Once they collected their high school diplomas and tossed their graduation caps in the air, she caught sight of her once more; she being lifted in the air by Finn and then twirled around by Mike. She eventually found her way to Mr Shuester, his cheeks streaming with tears but his face was just as proud as her father's. Rachel had told Quinn many times how she felt Mr Shuester as a third father, and she saw the love in his eyes that he held for her and the mirrored love she felt for him. Just as her fathers and Mr Shuester were talking, she turned her head and caught Quinn watching her. Then she saw her eyes light up with the unmeasurable amount of love for her. _

_And it broke her heart once more. _

_Rachel began to make her way over, but Quinn felt her own father's heavy hand fall on her shoulder, grip on and pulled her away. Quinn had to follow his silent orders and follow him, but she gave herself the torturous allowed of looking back at Rachel's beyond beautiful smiling face. _

_Back on the football field where the post-graduation party was being held, _

_Rachel bounced up to Quinn and threw her arms around her and squeezed her like an anaconda. Quinn melted into her hug and closed her eyes, imagining all the other times they had been in this position, only with Quinn being the one to hug Rachel from the behind. She sniffled and moved herself around to pull Rachel into her own death clasp embrace. Each soaking up the emotions of the day and their love for each other. Neither wanting to let go. Quinn wanted to take her there and run away. Live their lives together forever and grow old together, dying happily and peacefully in each other's arms. She wanted to kiss her tenderly and lap up everything Rachel had to offer. But, Quinn opened her eyes and saw her father's disgusted look on his face and his angry glare. _

"_Do it." He mouth, clenching his muscles together._

_Quinn sighed and broke away from her girl, knowing that was the last time she would ever truly feel loved and warm again._

"_Quinn! How fantastic is this? We're going off to college, we're free! We're free to be whoever we want to be and the best part is, we can finally be together without having to sneak around or hide!" Rachel rose up onto her tiptoes and proceeded to crash her lips tenderly with Quinn, wrapping her arms around her neck. _

_Quinn had to fight the want to kiss her back. _

_To not wrap her arms around her and hold her and never let her go. _

_She could feel her parents' eyes staring down at her once again. She took a deep breath, allowed herself to kiss Rachel back once and almost bit her tongue, wishing their kiss could last forever; like their love. _

"_Get off me." She whispered, her breath shaking and her body trembling as she pushed Rachel gently off of her. _

_Rachel loosened her grip on Quinn and gave her a confused look. "What?" She giggled a little and then went to kiss her again. This time Quinn channelled her ex-Head Bitch In Charge persona. She felt her eyes flame up and caused her blood to boil. "I said get off me." Her voice still shook but she cleared her throat, "now." Her tone and volume were low and a snarl appeared on her lip. Rachel leaned back, now her face painted with worry. "Quindle? What's-" _

"_Don't call me that!" She snapped, taking Rachel's wrists and throwing them off her neck, stepping away from Quinn. "B..but you like it when I call you that. You're my Quindle-boo and I'm your Rachie-bear. Y..you said it made you feel-"_

"_Yeah well I don't like it, your little nicknames repulse me and make me feel sick and I don't like them and, and you know what, I don't like you." Quinn had purposely raised her voice so that everyone at the party – mostly her parents however – could hear her. _

_Rachel now backed away a little. Lowering her voice so that it was quite, almost a whisper, "Quinn what's wro-" _

"_Nothing is wrong with me Ru-" She was about to call Rachel one of the cruel nicknames she never wanted to say ever again, but she couldn't bring herself to do it, "Rachel. Nothing okay, but there is something wrong with you!" _

"_What? Qu..Quinn why are you saying these things?" Tears were pricking in her eyes as she begged to know what had caused Quinn to change, to go back to the cold, heartless bitch she was before. "I'm saying these things because they're true!" _

"_Quinn why-" Her voice cracked and she wanted to ask what had happened, but she was stopped by Quinn's hand being held up at her, as if she was a horse that needed to be commanded to stop. "Shut up Berry." She spat. "And get rid of those sad puppy dog eyes, what are you five? Those don't work any more, maybe on your faggot fathers but not on anyone else, especially me, so quit your pre-bubbling like a baby!" Rachel couldn't help it, her tears were already beginning to fall. "Jesus Christ Berry, what did I just say?"_

"_Quinn please, have I done something? Why-" _

"_Of course you've done something you idiot! You always do something! You're just so stupid!" _

"_Quinn calm down-" Rachel placed her hands on Quinn's arms. _

"_Don't tell me what to do! And get your hands off me!" She pushed them down and away._

"_Quinn what is the matter with you? What-" She took one more step towards her and Quinn could smell her perfume, the sent of her shampoo and she felt all of Rachel's love. _

_And she snapped. _

"_Get away from me you dyke!" She screamed, pushing Rachel so hard that she fell over, landing hard on the ground. She knew that she had bruised her coccyx and grazed her hands as she fell, possibly spraining her wrist from the uncomfortable angle, but what hurt even more was the name. _

_Everyone at the party was staring; their friends, their family, teachers, strangers...everyone! _

_Rachel just stared at her, too shocked to cry. She held her gaze for a moment and saw just how much Quinn regretted it. _

_Everything. _

_But then she saw the icy glare as she stood over her, pointing her finger at her, channelling not just her inner bitch but also her tyrant of a father. _

"_Now listen to me you disgusting dyke, no matter how many times you fling yourself at me, or look at me trying to entice me and to commit myself to your filthy sinful ways, or whisper revolting sweet nothings in my ear, every time you try to touch me, just know that I will never love you! I don't even like you. I despise you! I'd curse your entire existence if I could, heck I think I will; I wish you never came into my life Rachel Barbara Biggest Dyke In Lima Ohio Berry! Stay the hell away from me; stop trying to plague me with your homosexual ways! Leave me and my family alone. I hate you. You make me hate you so much, more than Hitler and more than Global Warming! I hate you. I am not your friend, never was your friend and never will be your friend. I hate you. I hate everything about you; just looking at you makes my eyes hurt! I feel sick looking at you. I loathe and detest you." _

_Her eyes were welling with tears and they were falling faster than rain in a tropical storm. She was turning red and could hardly breathe. Yet, none of that was from hatred. It was all because not one bit was true. Not a single syllable. She loved Rachel with all her existence, and although she was shattering Rachel's heart, she had broken hers the second she had said those vile words to her father. _

_Just as she was about to walk away and leave Rachel on the floor, her body suddenly clicked into action and she grabbed the punch bowl that was on the table, near them and held it above and over Rachel's head. _

_Rachel was about to plead for mercy, but saw that she wasn't going to be graced with such a privilege. She kept her eyes open and her mouth closed as she prepared for her downpour. _

_Quinn took one final look back at her father, who nodded his head and smiled proudly at his daughter. She took a shaky, deep breath and closed her eyes tightly; wishing it was all a dream, as she dumped the entire contents of the humongous punch bowl over Rachel's head. _

_The girl was drenched. _

_She had never looked so small. After all the years of slushies, she had never looked so wet and defeated. _

_Quinn could hardly breathe as she tried to control the sobs rising in her chest. _

_As Rachel sat in her drenched gown – the punch soaking right to her bones – she wiped her eyes and stood up, slowly due to the pain in her lower back and wrist. _

_She walked up to Quinn and stood with her face as close to hers as she dared to._

"_I have never been so disappointed in you." She whispered, before turning around and walking to her shocked, ferocious fathers. Without saying a word, she took hold of their hands and walked away, never to see Quinn again. _

_Until ten years later that is. _


	11. Follow Your Heart Peasant

Chapter Eleven – Follow Your Heart, Peasant

Rachel awoke from her dream; hot and panting, fresh tears streaming down her boiling cheeks. She trembled under her sheets and her legs felt like jelly. Her heart was thumping against her and she felt sick. As she tried to steady her breathing, she held her hand on her heart and rocked herself back and forth, back and forth.

A little while later, once she was calm enough, she got out of bed and made her way down the stairs, out of the back door and sat on the step of their patio. As she stared up into the cold, clear, dark blue sky, her eyes focusing on the millions and billions of stars twinkling down on her and watching her breath swirl around her, she finally let the sobs pour out of her.

The dream was all she could think about. For the past month, it was all she could think about. At first it was the build up of her relationship, but this was the first time that she relived that horrible day. She was alone on a freezing cold December night and all she wanted was Quinn. But then, she was conflicted and she found herself not wanting her.

Hiram hadn't been able to sleep. Work was very stressful for him and he had a lot on his mind; patients were coming in enquiring about the flu vaccine and cold cures and all kinds of nonsense that he told them repeatedly, they didn't need to come to the hospital for and they could just go to their regular doctor.

After tossing and turning for what felt like an eternity, he gave up and sat up in his bed. He rubbed his eyes and stretched, looking over at his husband. He smiled and then kissed his exposed chest and then pulled the covers up and around him to keep him warm. Pulling on his gown, he looked back at him. Staring at him with adoring eyes, before heading down stairs for a cup of hot chocolate.

As he was steaming the milk, he heard the sound of Rachel's identifiable sobs and sighed. His shoulders slumped and knew he should probably go see how she was; she hadn't cried in her sleep for a long time but, here she was crying in her sleep, or if she wasn't crying in her sleep then she was awake at three in the morning sobbing into her pillow.

Just as he turned around to head back through the kitchen and to go up the stairs to wake up his little grown up girl, he stopped and listened more carefully. Even if she was awake, her sobs were too loud for her to be upstairs in her room. He looked around the kitchen to see if she was sat at the breakfast table, and he just hadn't noticed, but then his eyes went to the patio door and he dropped his mug on the floor – thankfully empty mug – and he ran to the door, ripping his robe off and rushed out to her, throwing it on her and rubbing her down to get her warm, pulling her close to him to soothe her.

"Rachel!" He shouted, as he collapsed down to her. "What the hell are you doing out here in your pyjamas! You'll catch your death!" She only cried harder into his cotton pyjama covered chest and clung onto him. He rocked her slowly and shushed her, stroking her hair kissing the top of her head.

"Oh baby girl," he soothed, wrapping his arms as tightly around her as possible trying to get and keep her as warm as physically possible. The temperature was way below freezing during the day, so right now at three o'clock in the morning, it would be suicide. He sent a quick prayer to God for waking him up when he did. "Rachel, what is it? Why are you so sad?" He tucked her hair behind her ears, making her look at him. "I thought you were finally coming to terms with Louis's death-"

"It's not Louis!" Rachel sobbed loudly, basically shouting at him. "And that's why I feel so terrible, daddy! It's not Louis that I'm crying over! I mean, sometimes it is but...but not always." He rocked her again as a new wave of frightening cries overcame her.

He sighed and focused on the moon, sending another prayer to God to help his little girl. And to give him the strength and the will to help him help her. And his husband. And his precious granddaughter, who he prayed would never see Rachel cry like this. He rested his head on hers, and whispered to her as softly as he could; "Rach, I think you need help."

"No." Rachel threw her head back to look him in the eye. She was determined. "I don't need help."

"You do."

"No daddy I don't!"

"Then what is it? What do you need?" Rachel looked away from him, her feet shaking as they sunk into the frosted pile of leaves they were resting on. "Tell me Rachel, I need to help you."

"It's not...what I need it's what I want!" She sighed. "What I think I want. Who I want!"

"Rachel..." And then it dawned on him, like a candle suddenly being flickered on in a cave. "Oh Rachel."

Rachel sniffled as she finally looked up at her daddy.

"Rach, I didn't even know you still had those feelings-"

"They never left. Like the scars I have on my body, they were always there. After all this time."

"Rach, you need to tell her how you feel."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm so scared. I don't want to get hurt again. I've been hurt too many times and...and before it was okay because it was just me but now..now I have Heidi and..."

"I understand. You don't want to get into anything serious because of Heidi."

"Yeah. No. Well, yes but I don't want to get hurt again. You can understand that, right?"

"Yeah, I think I can."

"Daddy, I'm too fragile to be in a relationship."

"I don't think you are. I just think you're too scared to be in a relationship, with Quinn."

"Daddy-"

"No, hear me out Rachel. When you and Quinn were teenagers I had never seen you so happy and so in love. When she did what she did to you I wanted to hate her, but you know what Rach, I couldn't because I knew she still loved you. And that you still loved her. I loved Louis, I did. He was one of the best things that ever happened to you. He was your Prince, your knight in shinning Broadway armour!" Rachel sniffled and smiled up at him again, gulping her tears. "But honey he's gone and...I know it's hard to hear but, he'd want you to be happy."

"I have Heidi, I am happy."

Just her sentence formation made him see that she wasn't. By putting Heidi first showed that she wasn't happy, and she was forever pretending.

"_Will we ever say the words we feeling? Reach out underneath and tear down all the walls? Will we ever have a happy ending? Or will we forever only be pretending?"_

"Rachel, you know what I mean. You need someone to hold you at night and to talk to stuff that isn't colouring and toys and someone to attend parent teacher nights, when the time comes. Sure you dad and I will be there to help you with Heidi of course we will, but you need a partner Rachel, to do all the things that a young woman needs. You don't just need a friend to talk to and hang out with, you need a romance. Someone to kiss you and hold you and dance slow dances with. All of those little girl dreams and fantasies, like you had with Louis."

His daughter was quiet again. Thinking about everything he had just said, not even recognising that she was beyond freezing cold now.

"_How long do I fantasise? Make believe that it's still alive? Imagine that I am good enough and we can chose the one we love? But I hold on. I stay strong." _

She stared at her daddy, worry covering her face but dreams filling her eyes.

"Do you think if Louis were still here that I'd still want to be with Quinn?"

"I don't know honey, but don't worry about that. You love Quinn and Quinn loves you. That's all that should matter."

"Thanks daddy, I know it might not make sense but..but even after everything she did I love her. I can't help it. I just love her. I always have. I even tried to be mad at her but...but I just love her so much you know? And it just kills me that we had to be separated by her...by her.." She was struggling to say what she wanted to and her daddy smiled at her. Squeezing her hand her leant into her. "You can say it, you know. We've been thinking for years!"

"That..her..I just hate him! I hate for what he did to us!"

"You still haven't said it Princess."

"Actually daddy I'm the Peasant."

"What?"

"Quinn's the Princess daddy, always."

"Well, to me, you're the Princess. But, if you insist, Peasant, you need to say it."

Rachel closed her eyes and said what she had wanted to say for ten years.

"That bastard!" Her father mock gasped and then they both began to laugh.

Once the giggles calmed Rachel became more serious. "But what about dad? He hates her-"

"You just let me worry about your father. I know how to persuade him to do things, I can certainly push his buttons-"

"Okay daddy too much information! Seriously!"

"Well, at least I can still make my little girl smile."

"You sure can. Old man!"

"Hey, less of the old! I'm younger than your father!"

"Yeah sure!"

"Cheeky madam!"

He enjoyed making her laugh and wiping her tears away from her eyes with his thumbs, before helping her get up.

"Let's get you inside, okay? I'll make you some hot chocolate."


	12. The Kingdom's Holidays

Chapter Twelve – The Kingdom's Holidays

Just as Quinn was about to enjoy her well deserved glass of wine and sit down to a relaxing afternoon of watching 'Forest Gump' with the whole house to herself, there was a loud knock at the door.

She huffed and set her glass down on the coffee table and wrapping her cardigan around her tighter as she walked to the door and opened it, looking down to see a pair of huge red tinted brown eyes and an even bigger smile staring up at her from a precious little brunette. Although, her pink hat was covering most of her hair.

"Heidi? What are you-"

"Hi Quinn!" Heidi squealed, hugging Quinn's legs, holding a huge drawing in her hand.

"Heidi, wh..what are you doing here?" She hugged her back, but looked around. "Where's your mom?" She asked, but smiling when she saw a flushed looking Rachel – in matching pink winter wear as Heidi – running towards them.

"Heidi! I told you not to run off like that! You could have got hurt on the ice!" She took hold of Heidi's shoulder, pulling her off of Quinn gently and straightening out her pink coat. "Sorry Mommy, but I wanted to give Quinn my picture."

"I thought that was a surprise, pixie."

"Oh yeah!"

"You have a surprise for me?"

"Uh huh and it's pretty, just like you."

"Well, if it's pretty then maybe you guys should come in."

"Yeah!"

"Oh, no we can't stay for long. We actually just came to ask you something."

"Oh. Okay. What is it?"

"Well, actually, Heidi wanted to ask you."

"Oh well, go ahead Heidi. The floor is your stage!"

Heidi looked back up at her mom, who smiled at her and nodded her head, glancing back at Quinn with proud eyes. The little girl cleared her throat and held out her hand, as if waiting for some money to fall into it. Quinn looked back up at Rachel, puzzled as to what Heidi was doing.

"Oh, er..she wants to hold your hand."

"Oh okay." Quinn placed her hand in the little girl's and her big brown eyes looked up at Quinn, clearing her throat dramatically again. "Dear Quinn, my Mommy and me-"  
>"Mommy and I." Rachel whispered, blushing from the correction. Heidi sighed, annoyed by being interrupted and stomped her foot a little, causing Quinn to giggle. "Dear Quinn, my Mommy and I," she emphasised the 'I' for her mother's amusement, "Would be deeply honoured," Quinn smirked at little, trying to hold back a little laugh as Heidi pronounced the word 'honoured' 'on-erred'. "If you will join us to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with us as well as celebrating the last day of Chanukah with us, please. It will be lots of fun and..and..." She bit her lip and looked back to Rachel. "Mommy I forget the rest."<p>

"It's okay Heidi, can I take it from here?" She asked, stepping up to Quinn and putting her arm around Heidi. The little girl nodded her head and let go of Quinn's hand.

"She's been rehearsing that for a few days." Rachel smiled.

"Well you did a very good job remembering it all."

"As Heidi said, we would really like it if you could come and celebrate Chanukah with us. And Christmas. They fall pretty close together this year so, if you haven't got any plans-"

"I'd love to come."

"Brilliant!" Rachel squealed, clapping a little which made Quinn let out her suppressed laugh and shake her head. "I can't wait Rach."

"Good, because we can't wait to have you come."

"Mommy can I give Quinn my picture now?" Heidi asked, tugging at her mom's coat.

"Of course."

Heidi took the large picture out from behind her back and presented it to Quinn. Although she had seen it protruding behind the small girl, she still pretended to be shocked. "Wow Heidi! It's fantastic! I love it!"

"Good, I used glitter and colours and spent a real long time on it, didn't I Mommy."

"You certainly did."

"Can I have some chocolate coins now?" Heidi asked Quinn, sticking her hand out. Again, Quinn looked worriedly at Rachel. "Chocolate coins?"

"Heidi!" Rachel scorned, embarrassed at her daughter's bluntness. "Sorry Quinn, at Chanukah kids get given chocolate coins."

"Oh right. Well, I haven't got chocolate coins but," she stuck her hand inside her jeans pocket.  
>"Oh Quinn, no don't give her-"<p>

"I want to Rach, can't have Heidi being the only Jewish Princess without coins!" She winked at Heidi and gave her a ten dollar bill. "Here you go, pixie princess."

"Wow! Look Mommy! Ten dollars!" Her eye grew to the size of dinner plates and she held the note out in front of her to show her mother. "Quinn ten dollars? That's too much."

"Well, Chanukah goes on for..what? Ten days?"

"Eight actually."

"Ah well, eight dollars can be for Chanukah, and the other two dollars can be for Christmas day and Christmas Eve."

"Well that's still too generous."

"Well, you'll just have to give me an equally generous gift!" She now winked at Rachel and wiggled her eyebrows. Luckily, Heidi was too engrossed in admiring the dollar bill to notice. Rachel blushed

and then took hold of Heidi's hand.

"Well, we'd best get going."

"Are you sure? I can make you guys something to eat, maybe a nice hot chocolate for my favourite little Pixie-Star?" Heidi looked up at her mother with wide, hopeful eye with the Berry pout to match. "We'd love to, but we have some errands to run."

"Oh Mommy!" Heidi wined.

"No Heidi, now say goodbye to Quinn."

"Bye Quinn."

"Bye Heidi, I'll see you later Rachel."

"See you Quinn."

Rachel tried to keep her breathing steady and her heart rate normal, as she knew she couldn't keep the blush from crawling up her neck and resting on her cheeks.

"Mommy why are you going red?" Heidi asked with a rather loud voice. Quinn heard and chuckled to herself, biting her lip and going back into her warm house but not before hearing Rachel reply to her daughter; "Just hot Heidi, that's all."

"Yeah you are." Quinn chuckled as she closed the door.

The night of the party arrived and Quinn had worn her nicest dress; a short purple dress that hugged her figure in all the right places and a pair of black stilettos. It was freezing cold, but she thought it was worth it. Rachel would look super hot no matter what she wore, so she had to make herself look good too.

"Quinn." Rachel opened the door, even before Quinn had knocked on it or rang the bell.

"Hey Rach." She beamed, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. "Happy Chanukah!" She lifted up a bag full of gifts for her and Heidi, along with a bottle of whisky and wine for Rachel's fathers. "See, I practised doing the whole 'ch' thing with your throat. I've been practising all day!" Rachel looked up at Quinn and bit her lip. "You okay Rach? You look a little stunned? Is it my dress?"

"No. Quinn you look breathtakingly radiant." She gushed, her expression not changing.

"Then why the look? Why do you look like you've seen a ghost, and I thought that was just for Halloween?" She asked raising her eyebrows but still beaming a smile at her. Rachel smiled and took Quinn's suitcase and then held her hand. "You'd better come in." She said, pulling her into the warm house.

Quinn hung up her coat on the coat hooks, put her bag down and took Rachel in her arms to give her a proper hug. "Quinn, someone's here." Rachel whispered, causing Quinn to break away and she looked into her eyes with confused, furrowed eyebrows. "Who?"

Footsteps were then heard by the pair as they both turned to face the guest.

"Quinn."

"Shelby."

She stood in front of them, looking just like how Quinn imagined Rachel to look in another ten years time. She wore a black dress and had her hair hanging around her shoulders in waves. Similar to Rachel, only Rachel was dressed in a deep red dress. Quinn stared at her with her mouth slightly open from the sight.

Rachel felt for Quinn's hand and stroked small circles on the back of her hand, trying to comfort her from the shock of seeing her daughter's adoptive mother. "Quinn I-"

"It's okay Rachel." Quinn's voice husked. "I should have guessed."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. It was as much as a surprise for me as it is for you. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'll be fine." She blinked and turned her attention onto Rachel. "Is..is she here?" She asked, barely louder than a whisper. Rachel nodded her head slowly. "Yes. She's here, she's playing with Heidi."

"Oh. Okay." Quinn was still a little shocked and felt a little sick; her heart race speeding and her palms sweating. "Quinn," Shelby now spoke, stepping towards the pair. "Do you want to see her?" At first, all Quinn could do was nod. Rachel squeezed her hand a little firm and she was able to speak. "I do. I really do."

Shelby smiled at her and held her arm out, instructing the two older girls where their little girls were.

Rachel was about to open the door, but Quinn held her back.

"I can't." She whispered. "I mean, I can't go in there."

"It's okay. I'll bring her to you, okay?" Rachel looked into her eyes and smiled a small reassuring smile, nodding her head. "Okay." Quinn sighed. " Okay you..you bring her out." She let go of Rachel's hand – for once not noticing the sudden cold from the loss of contact – and prepared herself emotionally to see her daughter.

Her twelve year old daughter.

Rachel went into the room and left Shelby with Quinn.

"Quinn?" Shelby spoke, resting her hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"You know she's not going to be a baby?"

"I know that. I know that it's been twelve years since I last saw her. Since I gave her to you. Since I gave birth to her." Her voice was quiet and deep, that tone that she used when she was scared but trying to be brave. Shelby had used the same tone when seeing Rachel again after such a long time. "It'll be okay." Shelby squeezed Rachel's shoulder, causing her to look at her. Looking into the same eyes Rachel has. "Just..just tell me something, okay?"

"Anything."

"Whose eyes does she have? Mine or Noah's?" Shelby gave her a little smile and sighed a little, knowing what she was asking. "You don't want to look into your own eyes."

"Not really." Quinn shook her head, feeling the tears form.

"Well, in that case, you'll be glad to know that she has Noah's eyes." Quinn let out a deep, shuddering sigh. "Okay."

"Seriously Quinn, it'll be fine."

"Does she know who I am? I mean..have you told her about me?"

"No." Shelby shook her head, dropping her eyes quickly to the floor then moving them back to Quinn's eyes. "Not yet."

"Do you think she'll be mad?"

"I don't know." Shelby shrugged her shoulders, "I mean, was Rachel mad when she met me?"

"I...I don't know. She was a little stunned but-"

"Then I think Beth will react in the same way." Quinn let out another shaky breath and put her arm around Shelby's waist, giving her a little squeeze. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For giving her the life I never could."

"Don't mention it."

Shelby lead her Leroy's study where Quinn and Beth would have a little peace and quiet, as well as some privacy.

Rachel walked over to the coffee table, where Heidi was talking away and colouring just as fast.

"Beth?" She called, and the blonde haired, brown eyed girl looked up. Relief splashing across her face. "Hey sis."

"Hi Mommy. Look, me and Beth drew pictures!" Heidi called, holding up a half drawn picture.

"That's great pixie, um, Beth could you come out here for a second?"

"Sure." Beth got up, straightening her light blue dress out and then turning to Heidi, dressed in her own baby pink dress. "I'll be back in a minute okay Heidi?"

"Okay. Hurry!" She didn't even look up as she began humming to herself and drawing away.

"I will." Beth laughed and walked over to Rachel.

"Gosh Rachel, I love her, I honestly do with like all of my heart, but that girl is obsessed with drawing! And stars! And not even the cool ones, like, the real stars! Like, the scientific ones! Not celebrities! The actual frickin' twinkly stars! Seriously, I keep trying to teach her cheerleading moves and stuff that I'm interested in and that are actually cool but..nothing! I've even tried talking to her about boys and God and all other stuff but she's just not interested! Honestly, she's just like you; focused and obsessed on one thing. Although, your thing was Broadway-"

"Beth, she's four. Please don't get my _four year old_ daughter into boys just yet."

"Fine! So, what is you wanted, do you want to talk about something?"

"Actually, there is someone I want you to meet."

She lead her through the house, away from the party and to her dad's office. She opened the door after knocking, and Quinn stood to attention. Gazing longingly at the girl who instantly reminded herself too much of herself.

"Beth this is my...friend, Quinn. My best friend actually."

"Oh cool. Hi Quinn."

"Hi. Beth." Quinn's voice was husky again and she could feel it crack.

The two blondes continued to look at each other; Beth thankfully not seeing their resemblance.

"I'll leave you two to talk." Rachel excused herself and left.

"_Oh my God. That's her. That's my baby. My baby girl. My Beth. She isn't a baby any more. She's nearly a teenager. That makes me feel so old! Oh my God she's beautiful" _

"Are you okay Quinn?" Beth asked after a little pause.

"What?" Quinn shook herself out of her daze.

"You look little freaked out. Do you want some water? Or wine, I can ask my mom to get you some?"

"_Mom" _Echoed Quinn inside her heart.

"No. No it's okay. I'm okay. I just...I was a little blown away by your beauty."

"Yeah right!" Beth laughed, leaning against the wall, then straightening herself up again.

"Yeah right! You're..you're so beautiful Beth."

"Well, of course you're going to say that."

"Why?"

"Well you're my big sister's best friend! You have to say I'm beautiful or I'll cry!"

"I'll never make you cry." Quinn promised, trying to get rid of the forming tears.

Beth looked at her awkwardly, raising her eyebrow – just how Quinn used to. "Okay? Good to know."

"Sorry, I'm freaking you out."

"A little, yeah."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Plus, for the record, I think you're kind of hot too."

"Don't say that!" Quinn gasped, thinking of how wrong it sounded for her own daughter to call her own mother 'hot'. "It's true, and your nose is awesome."

"My nose?"

"Yeah, I mean I hate my nose. I keep bugging my mom about getting a nose job-"

"Don't get one."

"Why?"

"Because I mean it Beth, you're beautiful."

"Well I don't feel beautiful."  
>"You'll just have to trust me that you are."<p>

"Well...we'll see. But surely if you care enough about yourself, you'll want to do anything and everything you possibly can about making yourself feel good? And surely looking good makes you feel good, right?"

"I guess."

There was another slight pause, before Quinn focused again.

"_She's so like me."_

"So, you're a cheerleader?"

"Not yet. But when I get out of middle school and into high school, I want to be head cheerleader."

"Why is that?"

"Because, once you're a cheerleader, you're instantly popular and accepted and once you're head cheerleader you rule the school, becoming untouchable. Invincible! Powerful and-"

"Why do you feel you wouldn't be accepted if you weren't head cheerleader? Or a cheerleader at all?"

"Oh I know I would be, but it would just help, you know? High school is probably a lot different from when you and Rachel went."

"Really?" Quinn now raised her eyebrow. "Are people no longer classed on appearances and stereotypes and judged on things that don't matter?"

"Well...no. They are."

"Then it hasn't changed at all from when I was in high school."

"What clique were you in, Quinn?"

"Me? I was...I was head cheerleader, Senior Prom Queen and the most popular girl in school right from the word 'go'."

"You sound like that was a horrible thing!"

"Well...it kind of was."

"Why? That sounds amazing! Didn't you have tonnes of friends and parties to go to and no one getting in your way or bothering you?"

"Well...yeah I did-"

"And didn't you have tonnes of guys just drooling all over you?"

"I did."

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem was...I didn't know who my real friends were. Something..something bad happened to me and when I went to the people who I thought were my friends, turned out to just be bitches."

"So who did you turn to?"

"Well, lucky for me, I was in Glee Club and so my real friends were all in the Glee Club too."

"You were in Glee, is that where you met Rachel?"

"Yeah."

"That's so awesome!"

"Yeah, it is."

"I wanted to join Glee too. My mom keeps on telling me what song to sing in my audition, even though I'm not even done with middle school yet! I still have a whole year! She's a big musical star you know, well in the high school anyway. She helps coach the Glee Club, so I'd get in for sure, but it doesn't mean she would go easy on me. Heck she'd probably work me twice as hard!"

"What song are you going to sing?"

Quinn wanted to let her daughter ramble on, loving the sound of her voice. She probably had picked up from Rachel over the years. Just like Heidi will soon enough.

"Well, I'm undecided between a Broadway classic like 'On My Own' from Les Mis, but only because that's what Rachel sang and she was like the Glee Club captain or something, or maybe something a little more well known like a pop song-"

"What about 'I Say A Little Prayer For You?' That 's the song I sang for my audition."

"Cool. I do like that song. Maybe you can practice with me some time?"

"Sure. We'll see."

"Awesome."

Soon there was a little knock on the door, and Shelby popped her head around the door.

"Beth honey, Heidi wants you."

"Okay mom! Sorry Quinn, I have to go. I love my niece, but sometimes she drives me crazy and she's only four years old! God help her when she gets to high school!"

"I think she'll be okay. And I think you'll be more than okay."

"Really?"

"Yeah, if you just stick to who you are and don't try to impress anyone by hurting yourself."

"Thanks Quinn. Rachel's lucky to have you as a best friend."

Beth smiled at her as she turned to leave. Quinn couldn't stand to watch her leave, even if she was only going into the next room to rejoin her grandparents and her niece.

"Hey, what high school you going to?" She asked, wanting to see her pretty face again.

"McKinnley, it's where my mom works. You and Rachel went there right?"

"Sure did!"

"Well, I'll carry on your guys good work in Glee Club, I promise."

"Thanks."

Once Beth left, Quinn sank into the squishy desk chair and sighed.

"Oh my God," she sighed, "She's perfect."

She stayed in there for a little longer, trying to compose herself.

"Okay ladies and gentlemen, pixies and princess's, if you would care to join us in lighting the final candles for this final night of Chanukah!" Leroy announced, and gathered everyone around the window where the Chanukiah was placed on the main window sill.

Hiram had put on his kippot and brought out his Siddor, even though he knew the prayer off by heart.

Rachel held Heidi close to her, holding her on her hip so she could get a full view of the light and it's beauty. Quinn stood beside them, with her arm wrapped delicately around her waist, drawing the pair of them closer. Shelby stood with Beth, and Louis' parents stood with Leroy.

"_Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam, asher kidishanu b'mitz'votav v'tzivanu, __l'had'lik neir shel Chanukah" _

"_Amein." _Rachel sang, followed by the rest of the little congregation.

Hiram then cleared his throat again and proceeded to sing the blessing for Chanukah;

"_Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam, shehecheyanu v'kiyimanu v'higi'anu laz'man hazeh."_

"_Amein." _Once again, Rachel lead the congregation into saying 'Amen'.

"Happy Chanukah everybody!" Hiram cheered, and everyone hugged each other and wished them Happy Chanukah. Even Beth turned to hug Quinn. Rachel saw the little blonde hug her, and Quinn held onto her tightly, not wanting to let go. She inhaled the young girl's sent and finally, reluctantly, let go of her so she could go back to her mo- so she could go back to Shelby.

Rachel watched as Quinn hugged her daughter and also saw her wipe away a tear from her eye. She turned around and saw Rachel watching her. She sniffled and sent her a small smile. The brunette put Heidi down so she could go and hug her grandparents, and walked over to her and pulled her into a soft embrace.

"You okay?" She whispered, rubbing Quinn's back. Quinn closed her eyes, seeing Beth's face in the darkness – the face that looked just like hers when she was that age. "Yeah," she sighed, whispering. "Yeah I'm okay."

They held each other a little longer, their hands rubbing their backs and holding each other for the comfort and love they possessed for each other. Just as they were breaking way from their moment, Rachel felt a light tug on her dress.

"Mommy can I show Quinn and grandma and Aunty Beth and grandpa and grandpappy and grandpa and grandma my dance now?" She took a deep well needed breath.

"Sure, of course you can, why don't you go get ready, okay?"

"Yey! Okay!" Heidi rushed away from the window and further into the family room, where she got dressed in her special costume.

Rachel watched as she rushed off, seeing herself in her daughter. She turned around due to the sound of a certain blonde chuckling.

"Are you sniggering at me Quinn?"

"Not sniggering, just laughing."

"Do you care to explain why?"

"Because she reminds me so much of you."

"I get that a lot!"  
>"I bet!"<br>"Quinn?"

"Yeah Rach?"

"Beth is a lot like you too."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I'm glad you can see it too."

They shared another intense, loving look until they heard Beth call everyone together.

"Okay family, our favourite little Pixie-Star has something she wants to share with us all."

Heidi stepped back into the room, dressed as a giant dreidel. Her grandparents laughed and Quinn just smiled and clapped her hands. Rachel whistled, saying how beautiful she looked.

She opened her mouth, taking a quick look at her mom; Quinn had taken her hand and they were stood close together.

"This is a song I learned at school, but the dance is all me okay?" She made sure everyone knew. As she walked over to the CD player, Quinn whispered into Rachel's ear; "Yep, she is just like you."

"_I have a little dreidel, I made it out of clay. And when it's dry and ready then dreidel I shall play_

_Oh dreidel dreidel dreidel I made it out of clay. And when it's dry and ready then dreidel I shall play_

_It has a lovely body, with legs so short and thin. And when it is so tired it drops and then I win! _

_Oh dreidel dreidel dreidel I made it out of clay. And when it's dry and ready then dreidel I shall play_

_My dreidel's always playful it loves to dance and spin. A happy game of dreidel come play now, let's begin! _

_Oh dreidel dreidel dreidel I made it out of clay. And when it's dry and ready then dreidel I shall play"_

The rest of the evening was great fun. They danced and ate and sang and talked.

Shelby and Rachel (and somehow with a little bit of force and distraction, Heidi too) left Quinn and Beth to talk and spend time with each other. Quinn couldn't believe she had spent an entire evening with her daughter and couldn't understand why Shelby did feel able to make a connection and have a bond with Rachel right away. She never wanted to be separated from her again but...but she knew that wouldn't be right. Beth had Shelby, her mom, but she did leave a tiny slither of hope that maybe one day she could tell her the truth. With Rachel by her side, of course.

Speaking of Rachel, she spent the evening talking to Mr and Mrs Dexter.

A little after nine thirty Heidi had fallen asleep in front of the fire place, crawled up like a little cat and Rachel took her up to bed. Quinn wanted to go and help her tuck her in, but she was pulled between her own daughter and Rachel's.

"_There will be plenty more nights_." She told herself and turned her attention back to Beth.

It was about eleven thirty by the time everyone left. Like when Beth gave Quinn a 'Happy Holidays' hug, Quinn still didn't want to let go when her daughter gave her a hug goodbye. Shelby had to practically prise the young girl off of her. Like a ship sailing by in the night, she was gone.

Rachel walked up to Quinn, stood behind her and took her hand. "You okay?" She asked again.

"She's happy." Quinn smiled, still feeling the tears form in her eyes. She turned around sighed, "I'm happy she's happy Rachel, your mom's done an awesome job bringing her up." She took hold of Rachel's other hand and swung it freely between the two of them. "Thank her for me." She pouted her lip like a sad little child. "Of course." Rachel whispered pull her to her body and wrapping her arms around her. "Come on Fabray, let's get you to bed." Rachel breathed on Quinn's neck and it made the blonde shiver with the contact.

_Translation of the prayers:_

**Blessing over the candles; Blessed are you, Lord, our God, king of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to light the lights of Chanukkah**

**Blessing for Chanukah;**** Blessed are you, Lord, our God, king of the universe, who has kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season **

**(Even though it's nowhere near Chanukah and Christmas whilst I'm writing this, Happy Holidays everyone!) **


	13. I'm Here

**Hello everyone! Once again, so sorry for the very long wait on this chapter. What can I say, life has been crazy! Writer's block, I swear is a disease! I hadn't forgotten about this story, it was just so hard to continue with! I hope you all like it... :)**

Chapter Thirteen – I'm Here

Like two little mice, the girls crept up the stairs holding each other's hands and revelling in the contact they had. They were only palm to palm, fingers to fingers, but soon enough they would be sleeping next to each other. Clothed, sure, but laying close next to each other nonetheless.

As they climbed each step, nearing closer and closer to Rachel's room, Quinn felt her heart begin to beat rapidly in her chest. Her throat was becoming dry and tight and her teeth clenched down on her bottom lip as they neared the room. The room in which a teenage Rachel Berry slept in. It was like all of her fantasies were coming true; Quinn was going to sleep in Rachel Berry's bed, next to Rachel Berry, in her high school bedroom once again. Just like before. "Quinn are you okay?"

The concerned whisper coming from Rachel brought Quinn out of her thoughts. Her hazel eyes blinked and focused on the light chocolate brown eyes in front of her. They were smiling at her and they sparkled, causing Quinn to sparkle back. "Yeah," she sighed, quietly so not to wake up Leroy and Hiram or Heidi. "Just.." She stopped herself and looked at the door. Gold star still painted in with Rachel's name swirled on it. Nothing had changed on the outside, but was that the same for the inside? Probably not. "It brings back memories doesn't it?" Rachel finished for her as she saw Quinn's lips being squished between her teeth. Quinn looked at her, tearing her eyes away from the door she remembered so well and the memories they created behind it becoming real once again. "Yeah." She whispered, nodding her head slightly.

With a flicker of her eyes, she looked back into Rachel's. Now the brunette had her bottom lip between her teeth. The blonde could see that she was thinking. Performing a classic Rachel Berry mannerism; over thinking. Quinn smiled as she saw the cogs and wires whirring away inside her beautiful head. "We can handle it Quinn." The brunette whispered with a light smile. "We're older now; grown ups and independent and..." With a shrug, she continued with a slight hint of sadness; "We can make our own choices and not be caught up by immature feelings."

Hearing Rachel suggest their feeling were – or could be – immature, made Quinn want to cry. All she had felt for Rachel for the past few years, that felt like a lifetime, was love. All she ever wanted to feel for Rachel was love and for that love to be reciprocated. Yes they had grown up and apart – her own fault – they had found each other again, and yes things had changed and things had happened; they were still the same people and still loved each other. Yes, Rachel had a daughter but so did Quinn. Yes, Rachel had a dead husband but Quinn's was more or less dead to her too. They could be together. She wanted them to be together and she wanted to make Rachel her wife. And never let go.

Instead of crying or crumbling at her knees to the floor, Quinn stepped forward and cupped Rachel's cheek with her free hand. She lightly pressed her body against Rachel's and lost herself in those eyes she had dreamt about and imagined every time she looked at her ex-husband for years. As soon as her fingers touched Rachel's skin, both girls' breath hitched. The spark was there. It had never left. All it needed was a little push to be ignited. Slowly, Quinn inched her face closer to Rachel's and her eyes began to flutter closed, not before taking in a good look of Rachel's face and memorising once again everything else that was present on her delicate face. Moving her face inches closer once more – their noses brushing against each other – Rachel spoke up. "Maybe we should go inside," she swallowed loudly through her nerves, resembling the ones she had when she was a teenager and she and Quinn were in this similar spot when they were about to embark on the next level of their relationship together. The blonde's eyes fluttered open at hearing her once again. Looking into her eyes, she saw again that Rachel smiled quickly; "Just in case Heidi were to wake up and come out." A grin appeared on Quinn's face. Of course Rachel would use her daughter as an excuse. "Sure Rach," she whispered again knowing that it was because she just wanted some privacy, "Anything you say."

Once inside the room, Quinn took a quick look around as they both separated. Yep, the room hadn't changed a bit from when they were both teenagers. Yellow walls covered with posters and toys neatly placed around the room with trophies, movies and books filling the shelves. The bed was what caught her eye. It was the same bed that they had made love on. She knew because the sheets were the same and she could clearly see the markings she had made when Rachel was asleep. Even from where she was standing by the door, she could clearly make out the scribbles she had made with a compass; "Berry and Fabray Forever."

As she stood against the door, she watched as Rachel laid out some clothes on the bed for her to wear. She turned around and smiled at Quinn, a light blush forming on her cheeks. "Which side do you want?" She asked, as if she didn't already know. Quinn smiled lightly at her, knowing that since high school she had always slept on the right side of the bed. Rachel pulled back the covers and then picked up things. Sheepishly she turned to head to her bathroom. "You can get changed here." She said and Quinn nodded her head at her, watching her retreat into the bathroom so she could get changed. Both of them took their clothes off, imaging silently that it was the other taking them off for them and slipped into their pyjamas. Ready to let the evening commence.

Within a matter of minutes they were both stood together, staring at the bed they had both shared many times before. They were both nervous even though there was nothing to be nervous about. They both stood at their sides of the bed and waited for the other to get in. Their chests rose and fell with each heavy breath as they waited for the other to make the first move. Swallowing thickly, Quinn took the initial step, claiming she was exhausted. She climbed onto the bed and began to cover herself up and allowed Rachel the time to get in too. Quinn looked up at Rachel and frowned. She saw the girl's eyebrows knitted together and her lip being bit once again by her teeth. "What's wrong Rachel?" Quinn asked, still quietly even though there was no way anyone else could hear her. Rachel looked down at Quinn and shook her head, then turned her head away from her. "It's just," she began sighing heavily, "I haven't shared a be with anyone since..." She then looked back up at Quinn, seeing the blonde had sat up and looked at her with sympathy.

Next she shuffled herself to where Rachel was standing and took hold of the brunette's waist, gently pulling herself onto the bed and in her arms. As she lay down she pressed Rachel's head against her chest. "Don't worry Rach," she whispered, covering them up and holding her, stroking her hair softly. "I'll make sure you're never alone ever again." Below her, she heard Rachel sniff and she kissed the top of her head as she heard her apologise. "It's okay Rach," she told her again. "There will be plenty of time for that." She knew just how lonely Rachel was, but also knew just how much she wanted Quinn. Not just for intimacy, but forever. They soon fell asleep; Rachel tucked up in Rachel's arms dreaming of a future that was more than possible.

Quinn woke up early and just watched Rachel sleep, thinking of all things she wanted to do to her but knew the girl was still too fragile to do anything more than kiss. Even though she still had to wait for the perfect moment to kiss her, she knew it would be worth it. In her arms, Rachel stirred and opened her eyes; slowly like a dormouse waking up from a winter slumber. "Good morning." She smiled down at the brunette. She smiled sleepily at her and stretched her arms out, touching Quinn's face in the process and stroking her cheek. "Good morning Quinn." She replied, a little groggily but still beautifully. Quinn realised then, once again, that she could wake up like this every morning and be happy; waking up with Rachel in her arms. She wanted nothing more than to bend down and kiss Rachel to wake her up properly, but thought against it.

Shifting herself slightly, Quinn ran her fingers through Rachel's soft hair as she asked; "So Rach,what's the plan for today? As much as I would love to stay here in the warmth and cosiness of your bed, I think we may have to actually get up and see to Heidi!" Quinn giggled, biting her lip when she saw the serious look on Rachel's face. It had transformed from sleepy bliss to worried seriousness and Quinn herself was worried. "Rach? What's wrong?" She asked, stilling her fingers. She waited until Rachel looked up at her. "There is something I was going to do today." She confessed quietly, her hand reaching up for Quinn's cheek again. "What is it?" Quinn asked, holding onto Rachel's hand against her cheek. Rachel shifted her gaze from Quinn's eyes for a moment, allowing them to rest on Quinn's lips, wishing she could just kiss her and not feel guilty, before looking back up into her eyes. "On Christmas Eve, as weird and twisted as it sounds, I always take Heidi to visit Louis's grave." She sounded apologetic and Quinn moved Rachel off her body and sat her up. Taking her by her waist and pulling her against her she made sure Rachel felt safe and not at all ashamed about wanting to visit someone so important in her life. Staring into her eyes she whispered again; "Do you want me to accompany you?" Rachel bit her lip but nodded her head slowly, causing Quinn to smile and kiss the top of her head. "Then I will go with you and hold your hand."

Within a few hours, after breakfast and making sure Heidi was giddy and happy as every little girl should be on Christmas Eve by helping her non-Jewish grandfather make cookies, the three girls were dressed, out of the house and at the grave yard. A light mist was formed over the graves and where it would usually look creepy and ominous, it instead looked mystical and peaceful. They got out of the car, once Quinn reached over and squeezed Rachel's hand for reassurance, bringing the digits up to her lips and kissing them. She smiled at her then they proceeded to head to the grave.

It was a simple grave; stone and had a light carving of a Magen Dovid on top, just above Louis's name. It was surrounded by sleepy grass blades and a few flowers were placed in front of it. "Here we are." Rachel announced sadly, but trying to keep her voice happy for Heidi's sake. The little girl clutched onto her mother's hand harder as she looked down at the grave sadly. "Hi daddy." She greeted, her voice sounding happy and light and echoing around the now miserable feeling cemetery.

To say that Quinn felt uncomfortable would have been an understatement. She knew it was important for Rachel to be there with Heidi and herself, but she couldn't help feeling that she was intruding on their special time together. Louis, although he was no longer around, would always be a major part of their lives. Not only as Rachel's husband but mostly because he was – and on still is – Heidi's father. Like all children, she only had two parents. Two real parents, and as much as Quinn wanted to believe she could be her second mom (or some form of a dad), she knew that she would never be able to fill the void left behind by Louis. She looked down at the little girl, who was idly chatting away to the headstone; telling 'him' all about her time at school and the fun things she and Rachel had got up to, along with her grandfathers. Quinn then sighed as she saw the pained look on Rachel's face. She wasn't crying yet, but it wouldn't be long until she was. And she didn't want Heidi to see her mommy crying.

"Louis, there's someone I want you to meet." Rachel took hold of Quinn's hand, her eyes never leaving the headstone and pulled Quinn forward. Heidi shuffled back and took her mom's other hand, hiding behind her slightly; knowing that the grown ups were going to talk. Rachel looked at Quinn, checking it was okay for her to introduce her to her dead husband. When Quinn smiled and squeezed her hand, Rachel breathed out shakily and turned her attention back to the headstone. "Louis, this is Quinn. She's a very good friend of mine and she's helped me a lot this past year." She looked back at Quinn again. "And she's also going to help me raise our perfect little daughter." She felt her voice crack from the weight of the tears, causing Quinn to squeeze her hand more firmly.

She stepped up to the gravestone and let go of Rachel's hand, allowing Rachel to pick up Heidi and hold her on her hip. Quinn knelt down by the grave and lightly traced Louis's name with her finger. "Hi Louis," she whispered, "Sir." She added, smiling and giggling a little at the formality. "I just wanted to tell you that...that I love Rachel. I love her and Heidi with all my heart and soul and, and I want you to know that I am going to take care of them. Money won't be an issue, stability won't be an issue but most of all, love won't be an issue. I love them both dearly and I know they love you with all their hearts and so I promise that I won't let Heidi forget you. Or Rachel. But, I promise you that I will treat Rachel right for the rest of her life; she's not only your wife but your widow, and I will protect her for as long as I live. That I can promise you, along with my unconditional love for her and for Heidi." She heard Rachel sniffle behind her, and she turned her head to face the mother. Heidi was delicately wiping her cheeks and eyes with her red mitten covered hands and planting sweet, wet little girl kisses on her cheeks where the tears fell. Rachel smiled at her and mouthed her thanks to Quinn. The blonde turned her attention back to Louis for a moment. "Sleep well Louis, I pray that you will rest in peace for the rest of eternity."

She stood up and walked back over to Rachel, taking the young, rather sleepy girl out of her arms. The emotions of the events were taking its toll on the little girl and she wrapped her arm around the back of Quinn's neck, resting her head on her shoulder. "Rachel, I'll go put Heidi in the car for her to have a little rest, okay? I'll wait for you in there." Blinking away tears, Rachel shook her head at the blonde. "Oh no Quinn you don't have to. I won't be long," she stroked Heidi's rosy cheek, "I promise Pixie-Star, mommy won't be long-"

"Rach," Quinn stopped her and waited until the brunette locked eyes with her. She smiled and whispered, "Take your time. Spend some time with him, don't worry about us. We'll be ready to go when you are." She patted Rachel's forearm as she turned to leave with Heidi. The little girl lifted her head up for a brief moment to call to her father; "Goodbye daddy, see you soon!"

The brunette sniffled and smiled as she watched Quinn take her daughter back to the car. She heard her sing her her softly to help get her off to sleep. She wasn't a baby or toddler any more, but she was still a little girl that loved to be sung to sleep. Once she was content with knowing that Quinn was taking care of her little girl, she turned back to face her husband's headstone. Smiling once again, she crouched down by it. Placing her hand on the top of the stone and running it along the cold marble.

She took her time, not sure it was she wanted to tell him. She hadn't been to his grave in such a long time that she felt whatever she had to say had to make up for it. Had he been laid to rest back in New York, it would be different, but the fact he was in Ohio, made her feel even worse. She wanted to forget about the lie she had kept to herself instead of coming clean to Louis. She wanted to leave it and lay it to rest, like she had done with her husband, but it was almost as impossible as being able to forget him. "Hey Louis," she smiled, feeling herself tear up again. She looked behind her, pointing towards the car where her two favourite girls were sat inside, before turning back to the tomb. "That's the girl I've been telling you about. The girl I've been pining over. She sure is something, isn't she? I mean, come on you've seen her. She's beautiful. Always was always will be." Again, she felt guilty about being in love with Quinn throughout the time they were married. "Listen to me, I'm such a bad wife, talking about how hot some other girl is when I'm supposed to be talking to you." She bit her lip and narrowed her eyes, trying to stop herself from feeling too bad. "But I have to tell you that I've always loved her. I loved you too, please don't ever think I didn't, but I guess it's true by what people say," she looked over once again at the car, "You never do forget your first love."

Rachel stayed at the tombstone for just under an hour. Once she had done with apologising for being in love with Quinn all along, she went on to talk about the things that husband and wife should be talking about; mostly their daughter. Rachel praised her and said how she had his bubbly personality and yet her timid knowledge, even at the age of five!

Once Quinn had got Heidi inside the car, she fastened her in and put the heating on. She sat in the back with her and read her a story. Her hazel eyes looked over at the near sleepy girl. Furrowing her eyebrows, she closed the book and leaned over to look directly at the little girl in her booster seat. "Are you okay Heidi?" She asked in a light, concerning voice. The little brunette turned her head to look at Quinn; her eyes so similar to Rachel's. They sparkled and her little lips turned upwards into a little smile. "Do you love mommy?" She asked in her tiny voice. At the question, Quinn couldn't help but smile and could not wipe away the little blush that appeared on her cheeks. "Yes," she answered quietly, "Yes I do." She nodded her head, "And I love you like my own, daughter." As she referred to Heidi as her own daughter, she thought back to Beth but remembered how happy and well she was with Shelby. Looking at the little girl before her, could imagine raising her with Rachel as her own. "Do you really love me?" The little girl asked, sucking her lips together and blinking up at the blonde. Quinn furrowed her brow again and took hold of her little hand. "Yes." She said in a light whisper. "Yes Heidi I love you, I love you and I love your mommy so very much." She leant into her little rosy cheek and placed a soft skin upon the skin. As Quinn pulled away, Heidi asked another question that had been playing on her mind. "Are you going to be mommy's new husband?" Quinn couldn't help but laugh at the question, to which Heidi began to laugh also, kicking her legs about. Taking her hand and running it along Heidi's cheek and then through her hair, "I don't know about your mommy's new husband Heidi but..but we'll work something out." She winked at her and placed a kiss to her forehead and stroked her hair for her as she went to sleep.

Soon Rachel was back in the car. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were stained with hot, salty tears but a smile was on her face. Clearly things had been said and dealt with and Quinn couldn't help but feel so proud of Rachel and so happy for her. "Ready to go?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at her. Rachel turned her head and looked at Quinn. Instead of replying right away, she leaned in and closed her eyes, hesitating before pressing a sweet chaste kiss to her lips. "I'm ready to go home with you, Quinn." Whispering she told her, before pulling away.

When they got back, Rachel was understandably exhausted. Leroy told Quinn it was the same every year the two little Berries went to visit Louis. She went to bed whilst Quinn played with Heidi and helped the two Berry men hang up final decorations and prepare for the next day's meal. In the early evening, Heidi lay out carrots for Santa's reindeer and a plate of cookies and milk for Santa himself before Rachel tucked her into bed. Just as she was finishing the last of the lullaby, there was a soft knock at the door. Turning slightly, Rachel saw Quinn's slipping herself through the door. "Hey Rachel." She whispered, not wanting to wake up the little youngster in the pink room. Rachel smiled at her and beckoned her over. "Hi Quinn." She whispered back, smiling at her before turning to her lightly snoring daughter.

Crouching down next to Rachel, Quinn looked down at the sleeping child in the little crib resembled bed. One hand was wrapped around a soft pink elephant and the other was holding onto a bottle of warm milk whilst her lips sucked on the teat. "She really is precious Rachel." She cooed softly, holding her hand through the bars of the crib and running her fingers over Heidi's hand. Still gazing at the child she created and gave birth to, Rachel smiled and thanked her in her own special Rachel Berry way. "I know, she's beautiful isn't she?" Laughing a little, Quinn wrapped her arm around Rachel's shoulder and kissed her temple. "I think Louis would be really proud of er; how you've raised her and how she's turned out." At the compliment, Rachel slowly turned to face Quinn. "You think I've done a good job so far?" She asked with an unbelieving tone. Quinn nodded her head. "Of course Rach!" She exclaimed quietly. "If I would have kept Beth then I would have wished I would have raised her as well as you have with Heidi," she shook her head a little a both the thought of Beth and the thought of having her own child again, "She's perfect Rachel." Once again, at the compliment, Rachel blushed slightly. "I had a lot of help from my dads and-"

"Hey Rach," Quinn stopped her, taking hold of her cheek. "We all need some help sometimes okay? And that's nothing to be ashamed of or..or anything like that. Okay?" Staring into Quinn's eyes, Rachel felt herself sniffle and she nodded her head. "I meant what I said Rach, you aren't going to be alone any more or ever again. I'm going to be here helping you raise Heidi." She watched as Rachel's eyes widened a little so Quinn sidetracked by stuttering; "That is, if you want me to help you." Finding her stuttering cute, Rachel melded into the touch of Quinn's palm and smiled at her. "Of course I want you to help me raise her." She squealed a little too enthusiastically. However, both she and Quinn ignored the squeal and embraced.

As they held each other, Rachel mumbled into Quinn's shoulder; "Will you stay tonight?" The blonde nodded her head against Rachel's shoulder and then removed her face and looked at Rachel. "Of course I'll stay the night, there's nowhere I'd rather be than with you." At her words, Rachel smiled lightly at her and then brought her into another hug and pressed a light kiss to her cheek. "Thank you."


	14. Love Declared

Chapter Fourteen – Love Declared

Christmas was a time for families and this year was no exception. In her daze of just coming out of sleep and re-entering the real world, Quinn remembered as a little girl how she and her sister would run into her parents' bedroom and wish them a Merry Christmas. Her father would pick the both of them up and lift them onto the bed for a Christmas morning cuddle, before they got changed ready for a quick breakfast and then off to church. The happiest Christmas she remembered of her childhood, was when her mother woke her and Frannie up earlier than usual, got them to tiptoe across the landing and down the stairs before opening one of their special presents – hours before they were usually allowed to. Waking up with Rachel at this very moment, Quinn almost forgot the strict routines and the 'proper Christian' way of spending the holiday. When she was with her husband, they would have a slightly more relaxed approach; staying in bed until twelve when they exchanged gifts before making the flight to Ohio for dinner with Quinn's mother and – on occasion – her father, as well as her husband's parents.

This year felt different. Mostly because it was different. This year she was waking up feeling happy and safe and free. Free from the rules and the rigidity and regimented regime of it all. This year, she had a beautiful woman sleeping next to her, who she actually loved with all of her heart, and she would be spending the day with her real family; the family she had wanted all along.

Smiling down at Rachel with sleepy but gracious eyes, Quinn lightly ran her fingers softly through Rachel's hair. The touch was soft and welcomed as Rachel made a soft, contended sigh. Seeing Rachel's very own tied smile, Quinn leant down and over to her, pressing her wintery lips softly to the girl's forehead. "Good morning." She whispered and planting another gentle kiss to the warm, smooth skin. Rachel wriggled and stretched, curling herself into Quinn's body. "Merry Christmas." She sighed, smiling and wrapped her arms around Quinn, bringing her closer and placing her own kiss upon Quinn's cheek. She held herself there against the blonde's warm, cosy body, being wrapped up in her strong arms from all of her years as a Cheerio. "How did you sleep?" Quinn asked her as she rubbed her hands on Rachel's shoulders and her lower back. A light moan was elipted from Rachel as she opened her eyes. "It was the best night sleep I've had in four years." Quinn smiled at her, knowing that the reason was because she was there with her. "I'd have to agree with you Rach," she told her, bringing her closer to her body. Almost pressing her head into her chest. Rachel could feel her heartbeat, like a happy, contempt drum. It vibrated as she heard Quinn speak quietly and peacefully; "Only this has been the best night sleep I've had since leaving high school."

From where she was laying, Rachel sniffled and allowed a tear to fall from her eye. "You mean that?" Timidly she asked; not believing that Quinn hadn't slept well for such a long time. Gently, Quinn rested her head on top of Rachel's. "Of course I mean that," she whispered, pressing a light kiss to the top of her head, "I haven't slept at all without you haunting my dreams or wishing you were with me." On her chest, even though she was clothed, Quinn felt Rachel smile at her words. "At least that I'm here now." Rachel brought her fingers up to Quinn's face and stroked her cheek lightly. "We're together now," Quinn reciprocated, "For as long as we want." Rachel sat up abruptly, startling Quinn a little. She stared into her eyes; her own wide and full of an emotion Quinn couldn't quite work out. "I want you with me Quinn." Rachel whispered, as if she was afraid her words would scare her away. "I want you with me forever." Carefully, the corners of Quinn's mouth turned upward and she wrapped her arms around Rachel, bringing her back to her. "I want to be here with you too Rachel, you and Heidi." She emphasised and felt her heart burst with more than just Christmas joy as she saw Rachel beam at her and bring them into a crashing but long overdue, loving embrace.

Just as the clock was about to strike eight, a tiny little pink bundle of joy came charging in through Rachel's bedroom where the two girls were sleeping once again in each others arms. "Mommy! Mommy!" Heidi called out excitedly, as she tried to scramble onto the bed. Grinning from ear to ear, Quinn sat up, carefully moving a once again waking up Rachel and placing her gently down against her side of the bed. She then took Heidi and picked her up, placing her in the middle of the bed. "Good morning Heidi!" She squealed, squeezing the tiny brunette and making her giggle. "Quinn it's Christmas!" She cheered, standing up and lightly bouncing on the bed, wiggling her toes inside her little footsie pyjamas. Quinn laughed and held onto her so she wouldn't go crashing down on to Rachel; "I know it is, I bet you were this excited for Chanukah?" Quinn asked trying to keep the little girl still so she didn't fall. She grinning down at her, nodding her head excitedly and clutching her pink elephant. "Uh huh, they're my favourite holidays! I get presents!" She laughed, bouncing more and more, sending Quinn into a little fit of laughter. "Do you think Santa came?" Quinn asked with a gasp, steadying the girl. "Uh huh!" The tiny brunette squealed, "I was a good girl all year, and grandpa said if I'm a good girl then Santa will come!"

"Well I think you have been a good girl." Rachel yawned, stretching her arms up and taking hold of her daughter. "Mommy!" She cried out, with Rachel laughing and pulling her little daughter to her and kissing her head and cheeks as the girl giggle more.

"Good morning Little Star!" Rachel cooed as Quinn watched the two of them interacted and how Heidi laughed and squealed about the dream she had. Her eyes glazed over slightly as she watched the young mother and her tiny daughter. At that moment, when she watched Rachel sit Heidi on her stomach and kissed her head, Quinn made up her mind and smiled. She was brought out of her thoughts were interrupted as she heard Heidi change the topic from her – and Hobbit the elephant's – dreams to the one they had shared minutes ago before Rachel woke up. "Mommy Santa might have come!" The little girl squealed, almost as excitably as Rachel did. Quinn chuckled at the resemblance and stroked the brunette's hair out of her eyes. "You think so?" Rachel gasped, raising her eyebrows and glancing quickly at Quinn. "Uh huh! I know so!" Heidi told her and began to launch into another story; how she swore she heard the bells of the sleigh and reindeer. The four year old then got to her feet, Hobbit still in hand, and began to bounce. "Can I go wake up grandpa and grandpappy?" She asked, once again in an excitable tone. Rachel sat up and held Heidi to her. "Why don't we go and make everybody breakfast and then we'll go and see if Santa came?" Heidi's head nodded so quickly, Quinn was actually afraid it was going to fall off!

After tickling Heidi and blowing several raspberries on her belly, the three girls got up and made their way down the stairs. Heidi dressed in her fluffy pink dressing gown, Quinn in a simple white robe and Rachel in a powdered blue gown with silver stars. The little girl dragged both her mom and Quinn down the stairs cheering and singing Christmas songs and squealing about the presents she got her grandapa. As her grandpa – Leroy – wasn't Jewish, she had told him she hadn't got him Chanukah presents, but instead had made him one giant Christmas present and was sure he was going to love it. The three girls – well, Quinn and Rachel with a little help from Heidi who sat in her high chair singing more songs – made breakfast for the whole family and lay out the little feast on the dining room table. Within an hour and a half, the whole family was sat around the table; munching on their food and sipping their drinks, happy and cheery. Quinn and Rachel sharing little glances at each other. "Can we open presents now, mommy?" Heidi asked; her eyes wide and begging for a yes. With a light laugh, Rachel nodded her head and they all went into the living room where Heidi gasped loudly at the sight.

Under the tree were parcels and presents with the cookies have eaten and the milk all gone, along with the carrots. "He's been!" Heidi shouted with glee and she rushed towards the tree, taking hold of her mother's hand and dragging her over to the the tree. As they all sat down on the floor, watching Heidi open her presents and playing with the ribbons they were wrapped in, Quinn slowly pulled out a small rectangular box from her gown's pockets. She felt the light blue satin and the silver ribbon of the Tiffany box. For Chanukah, she had given Rachel little gifts as she'd never celebrated the holiday before, but for Christmas – this first Christmas of a new life – she was going to make it special; starting off by giving her a present she wouldn't forget.

Whilst getting dressed, Quinn sent a quick text message to her mother, telling her she wouldn't be home for dinner. Almost immediately, her phone began to ring. The blonde didn't even need to look at the caller ID as she knew who would be calling. She didn't even have time to say hello before her mother starting shouting; "What do you mean you aren't coming home for dinner? It's Christmas Quinn! We always have dinner together-"

"Mom didn't you read the rest of my text? I'm spending Christmas and New Year with Rachel-" Quinn argued but was cut off by her mother again. "With Rachel? Quinn-" But before her mother could continue whining, Quinn spoke to her again this time firmer. "Mom stop. I'm spending Christmas day and New Years with Rachel and you are more than welcome to join us-"

"Quinn no," Judy protested again, "Christmas is a time for family-"

"And Rachel is my family." There was a pause. Quinn hadn't realised what she had said until she heard her mother whisper; "Rachel is your family?" Her stomach dropped when she heard the tone of her mother's voice: she was crushed.

Slumping back on her bed, Quinn sighed. "Mom I didn't mean that." She rubbed her face with her hand and sat back up. "What I mean is...I love her mom. I love her and..I want to spend the rest of my life with her." Again there was silence and Quinn was petrified her mother yell at her. Instead, she heard her laugh. Soft heartfelt laughs. "Mom?" Quinn asked, worried in case her mother wasn't okay. She sat up and bit her lip, waiting for her mother to speak once again. "Quinn I'm so happy for you!" She squealed down the phone, like she had just been told Quinn was engaged. For the next ten minutes, the two of them giggled and talked about Quinn's new family; Judy telling her repeatedly 'I knew you two still had feelings for each other'. At her mother's comments, all Quinn could do was roll her eyes but grin at her mother's support. Support that she was sure wouldn't come soon, if not at all.

Later that day, the table was set for the rest of the guests that were joining the family for Christmas lunch/dinner. Judy arrived early to help Hiram and Leroy cook, also wanting to get there to beam at the girl – yes girl, she yelled in her head triumphantly as if screaming at her ex husband – who Quinn was so smitten with. Just before said dinner, Shelby and Beth arrived and Judy was able to look at not only her granddaughter, but also the woman who had raised that granddaughter; and she couldn't help but see the striking resemblance between Shelby and Rachel. Beth looking like the Christmas angel herself in a silk white dress that went down to her knees and wearing a light pink cape. Her blonde hair flowing around like a little halo. This was the second time she had seen Beth and she felt like she never wanted to see her leave from her life ever again. Almost as soon as the young teenager was through the door, her hand was grasped by a bubbling four year old dressed as a little elf and dragged to the family room. Shelby hugged Rachel and then turned to Quinn. "Hello Quinn." She greeted with a light smile. The blonde returned it and stepped forward. "Hi Shelby, it's good to see you again." Their conversation wasn't as stiff as she imagined it to be and by the time they all sat around the table and enjoying their Christmas dinner, they were acting as if all the tension they experienced years ago never happened.

Just as the festive times continued in the family room, Heidi and Beth drawing and talking whilst the grown ups laughed about things, Quinn leaned into Rachel's side and whispered to her; "Rachel, can I talk to you?" The brunette smiled and looked at her. Replying with a happy tone.

"Of course Quinn." She looked at her expectantly; eyes wide and waiting for Quinn to continue. Although no one was looking at her, Quinn felt suddenly self conscious and spoke to her a little quieter than before. "Um, I was hoping maybe..outside?"

"Outside in the snow?" Rachel asked, furrowing her eyebrows. Seeing Quinn nod her head, she beamed and stood up. "Sure, okay." The two of them made their excuses and left to go and stand outside.

Once out in the cold, they huddled together. "Gosh it's cold!" Rachel laughed, watching her breath become steam. Quinn nodded her head, trying to will herself to speak; clutching the little box in her coat pocket. The brunette noticed that Quinn was being particularly quiet, and she turned to face her; cupping her cheeks in her hands, forcing the blonde to look at her. "Quinn?" She asked softly, "Are you okay?" Hazel green eyes locked onto brown and she smiled, relaxing into Rachel's touch but removing her mitten covered hands and holding them in her own. "Rach..." She began, biting her lip quickly but then realising she couldn't make this sound like a break up. It had to make this perfect. "Rachel this isn't easy to say and yet it is the easiest confession in the world."

"Confession?" Rachel repeated, frowning slightly. "What are talking about?"

"What I'm talking about, Rachel, is that I love you and I wanted to give you this." She rushed, and held the box out in front of her; not quite the way she wanted to confess all of her feelings for the girl and present her with her gift, but she had done it and Rachel looked a little scared. Her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly open. Definitely shocked.

"Wait? You love me?" She asked in a timid voice and Quinn couldn't help but smile widely and grip hold of her hands harder and tighter, pulling the girl closer to her. "Of course Rach. I've always loved you. I've never stopped loving you, never."

"Quinn-"

"Rach before you cry, I'd like you to have this." She presented the box again, this time pushing it into Rachel's hands. She looked down at the box and Rachel gasped. "Quinn! Is this...is this Tiffany?"

"It sure it." Quinn giggled.

"But..but how-"

"Hey it's a present and it's rude to tell people how much their gifts cost."

"But Quinn this is too much."

"You haven't even seen it yet!"

"I don't need to! It's Tiffany!"

"Just open it Rach, please?"

With shaky hands, Rachel carefully untied the silver ribbon and then opening the lid off the box, gasping once she saw the open heart shaped turqcioise heart necklace. Seeing the shocked beam on her face, made Quinn beam also. "Quinn...it's beautiful." Rachel whispered.

"You think so?"

"I know so. Quinn it's wonderful."

"Good I'm glad you like it."

"Quinn, you told me you love me and...and I just have to tell you that..that you're the best Christmas or Chanukah present I could ever ask for."  
>"So you don't like the necklace?" Quinn teased.<p>

"It's beautiful, but you're more beautiful."

"Thanks."

"No. I mean it." Taking a deep, rather nervous breath, she picked up Quinn's hand and held it in her own before kissing the knuckles. "You're beautiful. Inside and out and...I love you Quinn."

"I love you too Rachel."

Just as they were getting into their passionate, love filled kiss, they were dragged out of the moment by two familiar voices behind them. Two little girls giggling behind them, trying to be as loud as possible. "Ew Rach, get a room!" Beth called, holding Heidi's hand tightly.

"Yeah mommy! Get a room!" Heidi giggled excitedly, before Beth winked at them both and took Heidi back inside. "Come on Heidi, let's give the love birds some alone time." She smirked, as Heidi began making tweeting noises.

Rachel and Quinn looked at each other and laughed. "How messed up is this!" Rachel laughed.

"Is what?" Quinn asked, still holding Rachel's hand and rubbing circles into it.

"Well; my adopted sister - your daughter - just caught us, her adopted sister and her birth mom kissing!" Quinn took in what she had said and made a repulsed but laughing face; her palm going straight to her face in the embarrassment of being caught kissing her girlfriend by her daughter.

"Oh my God that is too weird." She grounded, feeling Rachel pull her to her side and heard her laugh loudly. "I know!" Rachel laughed, before kissing Quinn again and then wrapping her arm around Quinn's waist. "Come on, let's go back inside and warm up." Rachel suggested, before turning them both around and making their way back inside.

"Rach, can I ask you something?" She asked whilst scrubbing a plate with a brush. "About us?" She looked up at Rachel and saw her already looking at her. "Sure. Anything."

"Well..actually it's about the two couples in this house."

"There are two?" Rachel asked sarcastically and Quinn threw a dish cloth at her.

"Seriously though Rachel, does...does Heidi know about...about the differences between her grandparents and other kids' grandparents. And..and therefore her parents and-"

"If you're asking she knows what 'gay' is, then no. We've brought her up to know that love is love and that's just it."

"Would you be freaked out if she turned out to be gay?"

"Honestly, no. I stick by my mantra; love is love. My fathers love each other, I love you so..she can grow up to love whoever she wants."

"But isn't it confusing for her? I mean won't she grow up thinking that it's only okay to fall in love with the same sex?"

"I don't think so. Her storybooks and the television shows she watches all have men and women falling in love. Plus, even though she is very young and I haven't gone into detail, she knows that to have a baby, a mommy and a daddy are needed to be involved."

"Not in your case."

"Yes in my case; Shelby is my mom and one of my dads is my biological dad. Ergo, a mommy and a daddy; it just so happens that I live with my two daddies-"

"And Heidi will live with her two mommies."

"What?"

"Oh..Uh..Nothing. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"Quinn, do you see yourself as Heidi's mom?"

"No. No not...not really but..I mean..if our relationship were to progress and grow then..then I was kind of thinking that maybe I could..I could be her second mom? If you want. Like in F.R.I.E.N.D.S, with Carol and Susan."

"I'd love that."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And, I think it's really sweet."

"Good. I'm glad."

"But, I do kind of hope that she'll grow up and find a nice young man to settle down with."

"Again like you did."

"Hey you were married to a guy too!"

"Yeah, a jerk! At least Louis was the male form of perfection!"

"Who's the female version?" Rachel asked, smiling seductively at Quinn and sliding her hands up her torso so that they eventually wrapped around her neck. Quinn licked her lips and stared into Rachel's brown eyes, holding her close to her as she wrapped her arms around her back. "Well, you obviously."

"Oh is it really that obvious?" Rachel asked, raising her lips to meet Quinn's.

"Absolutely." Quinn closed her eyes and kissed Rachel.

"This has been the best Christmas ever, you know right?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. Even after Louis, this is still great. I never thought I could feel this..happy and..it sounds disrespectful to say but, alive!"

"I'm glad, and I'm thrilled that I'm the one that makes you feel this happy."

"Always you Quinn."

"And Heidi."

"Both my girls."

"Both your girls forever." Quinn told her, pressing another soft kiss to Rachel's lips.

All of her dreams were slowly coming true, and she couldn't believe that she was so lucky as for all that to happen. Both Quinn and Rachel couldn't believe they were with each other again, but both were more than sure that they would never be apart ever again. It was such a clieche but they were going to be together forever.

All it took was for one of them to make it official.


	15. New Years Eve

**Hi everyone! So there has been an epic long wait for this next update. Same reasons; writer's block and school. However I have now finished school so I'm going to focus on writing! This took a really long time to write but I hope you all like it. **

**Please review! **

Chapter Fifteen – New Years Eve Dawn Of New

With the countdown to the New Year fast approaching, Leroy decided that his favourite girls needed new dresses. Of course they were going to a party to celebrate and every party and every occasion needed a new outfit – according to Hiram Berry anyway! And of course by batting his eyelashes playfully and yet innocently at his husband, Leroy would pay. New Years had always been a special occasion for him and his family. To Leroy – and obviously many other people – meant a welcoming another year with their families and the want to have a joyous and happy new year without heartbreak and upset. Every year he would look at his husband and wish for those things, purely for his husband's sake. If his husband was happy, then he absolutely would be happy. He and his family hadn't gone to a New Years party since Rachel left for Broadway after her years at Julliard. Of course when she was a teenager she was allowed to go to other people's parties – namely Noah Puckerman's – but she would always call them and wish them happy new year. This year, however was going to be different because his grown up little girl was going to spend New Years Eve with them at a party that wasn't being held in their own house. He just hoped she would be okay.

Rachel remembered going to New Years Eve parties back in New York: sometimes in Times Square, others overlooking the city and one very special year being spent watching The Ball Drop at a New Years Eve party at the Gershwin Theatre where she had just played the lead in a new play. She would call her fathers and wish them a happy new year the second the countdown had finished or would even keep them on the line for a whole five minutes before the countdown began and talking to them for the next ten minutes into the new year. When she was with Louis she would of course have her New Year's kiss and then call them. When Heidi was born and she had moved back in with her ever doting and loving fathers, they didn't celebrate. That was the only year she remembered never celebrating with a party of any kind: simply just herself with the three most important people then in her life; her fathers and her daughter. The second year without Louis was very much the same. It was only in the last two years that they had had a small gathering of her fathers, Heidi, Shelby and Beth. This year of course there wouldn't just be the six of them in the Berry household. It would be the six of them, plus Quinn. Plus several other people. Plus possibly the whole of Lima.

And she was nervous.

Somehow the young mother had been persuaded to go to a party in the large forest like park. She had been praying that the weather forecast was going to predict terrible snow storms and that the giant 'community spirit' party was going to have to be called off. But of course, as luck would have it, the weather had been perfect for days. The snow was beautiful and although it was cold it wasn't freezing. It was going to be cold in the park but just as luck would have it (yet again) the party was being held in a grand stately home, reminding Rachel of the magnificent estates out of the numerous Pride and Prejudice remakes or simply a palace from England or France. It was going to be remarkable and an occasion not to miss, so the invitation said. Even though she desperately wanted to miss it. Being the woman she was now, she tried to shamefully use her daughter as an excuse as to why she couldn't possibly go to the party. What on earth would she do if Heidi got tired and wanted to sleep and not see the dawning of the New Year? She was four years old, and although she may have bundles of energy during the day she still needed her sleep. The poor girl barely made it through a short Disney movie during their 'Mommy/Heidi Evenings'. She could just see Heidi dancing on the floor and then suddenly crawling up into a ball and falling asleep at eight! And then she would have to ruin the evening by driving home to put her to bed and watch the Ball Drop on the television whilst she slept. But, of course her fathers had a solution:

"Rachel you cannot keep using Heidi as an excuse!" Leroy told her as he pored coffee into Hiram's mug. The five of them were sat around the breakfast table planning their day when Rachel had tried once again to get herself – and Heidi of course – out of going to the party. "Yes I understand she might get tired," her dad continued as he carefully poured Quinn a cup of coffee too, carefully because the blonde was assisting Heidi in her drawing, "but she can just sit down on a chair with one of us and go to sleep." He made the solution sound so simple, especially because he just shrugged and poured coffee into his daughter's cup. His daughter was not so pleased. She blew her bangs out of her eyes and held the head of the chair behind Heidi to show a strong front. "Dad she can't just sleep on a chair!" She exclaimed, making Heidi and Quinn look up at her. The little girl shook her head and began mumbling to herself about colours and teddies whilst Quinn continued to smile up at her, amusedly. "She'll get stiff! And besides, she'll want her pyjamas and her teddy bear and it's not fair to deprive her of her bed-" Placing a large plate of freshly cooked waffles down onto the table, Hiram interrupted Rachel's panicked rant telling her; "Rachel it won't even be for that long!" He shook his head at his daughter with a playful smile, raising his eyebrows and turning around to get the accompaniments for the breakfast. Rachel huffed, "It will be long enough for a four year old Daddy," she argued looking down briefly at her scribbling girl. "Besides what if she gets bored and wants to go home? Or what if she feels ill and wants to go home or-"

"Rachel stop making excuses and just come to the party." Quinn looked up at her raised a naturally perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her and tried to keep her smirk off her face.

The arrival of food made Heidi forget all about her plans of a Teddy Bear Tea Party scheduled for later that day, as she looked up and began to reach out. "Careful pixie," Quinn told her, looking back at the little girl next to her. She held her arm and stopped her from touching the hot food. "It'll be hot, let me get it okay?" She asked and placed a quick kiss on the little girl's head. In return Heidi nodded her head and watched as Quinn plucked a big (Heidi sized) waffle off the plate and placed it onto the girl's special pink plate. The little girl's mother got momentarily distracted from her argument by watching her girlfriend slice up her daughter's waffle, pierce a piece on her little fork, blow on it and give it to Heidi. She allowed a smile to grace her face as she watched the two. Even though Heidi was perfectly capable feeding herself, it was still a cute sight to see her open her mouth as wide as it would go and wait for the 'choo choo train' to deposit its cargo of chocolate syrup waffle! Remembering what she was doing, Rachel then looked back at her dad and daddy who were now also filling their plates with waffles. She sat down with a heavy sigh next to Heidi and put on her pleading face. "Dad, Daddy, please. Why do we have to go?" She asked, sounding like a whining teenager – the teenager she used to be whenever she had to go to one of her father's boring work functions or attend a shopping trip with them to get new camping equipment. As Hiram was currently sipping his coffee, Leroy cleared his throat and looked at his daughter. "Rachel it will be fun and an amazing experience," he told her, widening his eyes at every reason. "The council hasn't allowed something like this for years and it'll be magical!"

"Magical for who?" She grumbled, her eyes catching Quinn now turning the train into a plane and making excessively loud zooming noises, much to Heidi's delight.

Seeing her eye slide ever so slightly to his granddaughter, Leroy smirked. "Clearly I think you know who will find this experience fun and exciting!" Beside him he heard his husband chuckle, so he playfully elbowed him in the ribs. The action subsequently caused him to splutter his coffee over his shirt and his waffle. Heidi saw the action and began to giggle loudly, forgetting all about whatever mode of transport her fork has transformed into. "Grandpappy that's funny!" She laughed, pointing at him with her sticky chocolate syrup hand. "Mommy can I do that?" She asked, looking quickly at said mommy and reaching her big girl cup of juice. Before either Quinn or Rachel could object the little girl was splurting juice out of her mouth – and somehow out of her nose – all over not only her waffle but Quinn's and the table. As the adults gasped and moved away from the squirting child, Heidi continued to holler with delight. "Mommy! Quinn! I'm a elephant! I'm a elephant whale!" She then shook her head around, eyes closed and grin firmly in place, and began splirting spittle everywhere as she made elephant/whale noises.

Soon enough the conversation/argument was forgotten momentarily as both grandparents began laughing and a certain sabbatical lawyer took her own glass of water and splashed liquid around as well, creating her own elephant whale noises. Where Rachel tried to hold her disapproving scowl at her girlfriend and her daughter, the corners of her mouth were turning up and she too was laughing loudly. Who would have thought a simple accident would cause so much fun and mess, caused by possibly the most wonderful four year old in the world? Well, at least that's what all the grown ups at the table were thinking. Heidi herself was just having too much fun being an elephant whale.

Once the water from the watering hole – water jug – had been used up and the waffles and table cloth were relatively soaked, everyone decided the fun was over and it was time to become serious once again. Everyone began to tidy up the mess the family of elephant whales had made and Rachel continued her conversation. This time, her dad was more sympathetic. They stood at the sink trying to wash off the most of the syrup and jam and whatever else was on the plates, and Rachel sighed one more time. Leroy put his arm around Rachel and gave her a firm kiss on her temple. "Rachel," he spoke softly, "I know you're scared. You have never taken Heidi to a grown up party before let alone somewhere without a bed where she can sleep. But I assure you, you will have fun. She will have fun. On the flyer and the information I looked at the house's website, there will be entertainment for the children so even if she is tired, she won't want to miss anything." Keeping her own arm wrapped around her dad and her head on his upper arm Rachel frowned and tried to look in his eyes. "What kind of entertainment?" She asked, wondering if Heidi would like it or if she should even go and be apart of it. Sensing her worries Leroy smiled at her again. "Well for starters there's going to be a magician and an arts and crafts table so you know she'll love that. And they can have their own little party, dancing and singing and having juice and cookies." The information was going around her head. Of course the most important thing for Rachel was for Heidi to have fun and not be too tired. It was no secret that her little girl loved to draw. Even though she knew that she had inherited her mother's singing and dancing talent (after hearing her sing and dance to herself numerous times) her absolute favourite thing in the world was art and so she would probably spend most – if not all – of her time at the party at the arts and craft table. "It does sound like fun." Rachel admitted quietly, knowing she had no real valid reason for not going any more. Finding victory in his daughter's admission, Leroy squeezed her shoulder and kissed her head. "Go on," he told her taking his arm off of her, "Go and sit with your girls." Spinning her around and patting her behind softly he turned back to the task at hand of washing the dishes.

At the cleaned table Quinn and Heidi sat drawing yet again. Now instead of designing how the tea party would look, Heidi was drawing elephants and whales – with a little help from Quinn. Rachel walked over to them with an adoring smile on her face and wrapped her arms around Quinn, dropping a kiss onto her cheek. "Hey sweetie," the blonde cooed, holding onto her girlfriend's arms and turning her head to kiss the girl she was now spending New Years Eve with. Rachel smiled at her and greeted her back just as quietly. Quinn's eyebrows twitched slightly. "Are you okay?" The blonde asked, stroking her girlfriend's arms and looking up at her. The brunette shrugged and mumbled; "I guess I'm just nervous." She admitted, shrugging and trying to avert her eyes. Quinn knew she was trying to hide herself and so raised her hand up and placed her palm on her cheek. "Hey," she whispered, "I understand why you're feeling like that." As her hazel-green eyes stared into the chocolate brown orbs, she could see Rachel's fears. She had felt the same at some point; how could she go out and enjoy herself and leave her child somewhere? Even though she wasn't looking after her, Quinn had felt the same every time she was invited to go somewhere after having Beth. Of course it wasn't entirely the same, but it was as close as she could get to understanding. Sighing Rachel nodded her head. "I'm just being silly." She announced and smiled at Quinn. "I know that we'll have fun," she smiled at Quinn thinking about spending her first New Years Eve with Quinn after such a long time, "And I know that if a certain someone gets tired it's not the end of the world." Her eyes slid once again over to Heidi, giggling a little as she saw the look of pure concentration on her face as she scribbled the blue water coming out of the elephants' trunks and the whales' blow holes. Quinn smiled at the little girl as well and moved her chair back so Rachel could sit on her lap.

Both women watched the little girl for a moment, Quinn holding her girl around her waist holding her close and Rachel resting her hands on Quinn's lightly stroking her skin. "Hey Heidi," Rachel spoke up, "You're going to have fun at the party tonight aren't you." Heidi turned her head and faced her mom wearing the biggest smile and the brightest eyes. "I am Mommy!" She squealed, stopping her drawing for a moment. "I'm gonna do lots and lots of drawing and draw plenty of pictures for you and Quinn!" Her smile somehow grew even brighter as she suddenly remembered the other things her Grandpa and Grandpappy had told her. "And I'm gonna dance! I'm gonna dance like I see on the television and sing all night and then I'm going to be the magic man's helper and make wabbits come out of hats!" She then squeezed her eyes tightly shut and then opened them. Like the little actress she could be, she looked left and right and then back at her mom and Quinn. She leaned in and flickered her finger at them so they would do the same. Clearly she was about to say something she didn't want the grown up grown ups (Grandpa and Grandpappy) to hear. She held her hand out to her mouth and whispered rather loudly, "And when all of the wabbits are out of the hats I'm going to bring them home and they can live in my bed." Quinn couldn't help but laugh at the little girl. She may not be a vegan or much of a vegetarian but she had most certainly had taken on her mother's attitude to saving all of the world's animals. Rachel reached forward and picked up her little girl – who was still dressed in her pink pyjamas – and sat her on her lap. "Well you know you can't bring the rabbits home pixie." Rachel told her, placing a little kiss onto her daughter's head. The little girl then pouted and looked as if she was about to cry. Before she could however, Rachel continued. "Although it's not nice to live in a hat, that's where the rabbits live. You see," she readjusted the little girl on her lap so Quinn could see her face too, "The hat is like a door."

"A door?" She asked, intrigued as to what her clever mommy was saying. Rachel nodded, and Quinn rested her chin on Rachel's shoulder to listen more intently at where she was going with this. "Yes pixie, a door. You see Heidi, it might look like the magic man is making the rabbits appear out of the hat, but the truth is," she now did her own version of looking around and making sure no one was listening, "The magic man actually just opens the magic door for the rabbits and that's how they get in the hat!" Quinn was impressed with the explanation. Of course she wasn't as impressed as Heidi.

At hearing 'the truth' as to how the rabbits get in the hat, the little brunette's eyes widened and she smacked her hands to her mouth in shock. "So they live in a magical land and the hat is just a door?" She exclaimed, finding it unbelievable. Rachel simply nodded her head at her clever daughter. "That's right sweetheart. No matter what anyone says, the rabbits don't stay in a secret trap door, the hat is actually a door to our world and they really live in a magic world."

"And the magic man is the key by saying the magic word!" Heidi told her mom, explaining the end of 'the truth'. Quinn was seriously impressed. Either this little girl had an imagination bigger than the universe, or she was actually a child genius. She didn't mind which one it was, but she was definitely going to encourage Rachel to keep on teaching the little girl things she would ordinarily not be learning until later on in her kindergarten year and then further into her education. "Mommy I want to draw a picture for the wabbits!" Heidi announced and she wriggled out of her mom's lap and into her own seat. She disregarded her previous drawings of elephant whales and then began to draw several pictures of rabbits and their own magical world. Rachel leaned back against Quinn smiling and tangled her hand in her blonde locks. Quinn pressed a soft kiss on her neck and ran her nose up to her ear. "Can I be your New Year's kiss?" She whispered quietly so Heidi wouldn't hear. Rachel smirked and pressed a kiss onto Quinn's button nose. "You can be more than my New Year's kiss." She whispered back and picked up a crayon to draw her own picture 'for the wabbits'.

Later that day the three girls got in the car and drove to the mall to pick out outfits for their evening. The mall, unsurprisingly, was very busy due to what appeared to be every woman in Lima trying to find the perfect dress for their own New Years Eve plans. As the women walked through the automatic doors, Rachel crouched down held Heidi by her shoulders. "Now Heidi, we're in a very busy place so you hold onto Mommy's hand and Quinn's hand, okay?" She stared at her with wide serious eyes and Heidi stared back. "I will mommy." The little girl nodded her head. "I won't let go even if I see something really cool." She added this little piece of information after remembering that one time she went to the supermarket and wandered off after seeing a giant cookie giving out free boxes of cookies. Rachel remembered this incident too, and so once she stood up again she gripped onto her little girl's hand extra tight. Both of the women wandered through the mall with the precious little girl between them. Her large eyes looked around at all the displays and all the different people. She was small for her age and so the world must have looked enormous for her! Still she kept to her promise and kept hold of both her mommy's and Quinn's hand. Every few moments, Quinn would glance down at the little girl and would catch herself promising to buy her a cookie just for being there!

Their mission was to find Rachel and Quinn new dresses for the party. They met with Shelby and Beth, having had the teenager beg to come with them to choose the dress. Once the three spied the older version of Rachel and the younger version of Quinn inside the dress shop Beth had chosen to buy the dresses from – having done extensive research on the internet – Heidi tugged at the hands holding her back. She stopped herself and looked up at her mommy. Her wide eyes widened even more wanting to go to her cousin and give her a hug. Of course she had also packed in her pink backpack a picture for her. Smiling down at her daughter Rachel let go of her hand, only to scoop her up in her arms and carry her over to her own mother and Beth. Rachel looked over at Quinn and saw the blonde chuckling at her, but she also saw her tense her posture. Seeing Beth no matter how many times was still going to be nerve racking for her. Understandable. Rachel's eyes softened at her girlfriend and she held her hand out to her girlfriend to take. Quinn's eyes now softened and she walked over to Rachel and took hold of her hand, bringing it up to her lips and kissing the back of it. All three of them wandered over to Beth and Shelby and almost immediately the little girl was passed over into her aunt's arms.

"Beth guess what!" She asked brightly, one arm hanging around her neck, the other stretched out wide. Beth rolled her eyes at her tiny young niece but smiled brightly at her, "Did you draw me another picture?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at the little brunette in her arms. Predictably the girl pouted. "How did you know? Did mommy tell you?" Heidi asked, twisting her body round and scowling at her mother who now had her arms wrapped around Quinn. Rachel shook her head at her daughter and Quinn spoke up in her defence; "No pixie, mommy didn't tell Beth anything. She's clearly just as super smart as you." Rachel cleared her throat and looked up at Quinn, causing the blonde to roll her eyes playfully. "Of course Heidi got her immense intelligence form you!" She pressed a light kiss on her cheek and turned back to the two young girls. "Quinn's right Heidi," Beth told her, juggling the growing toddler in her arms, "I'm just super smart and guessed what." Heidi narrowed her eyes for a moment but then as if nothing had happened she smiled back at her aunt and tapped her cheeks. "Put me down Beth so I can give it to you." Just as she was about to be put down, Rachel tapped the little girl on her shoulder. "Heidi what was the magic word you missed out?" She raised her eyebrows at her daughter and felt Quinn squeeze her hand at her discipline and how proud she was that Heidi still had very advanced manners for her age. Heidi gasped and turned to Beth again. "Please Beth may you put me down so I can you my picture?" Beth nodded her head and gave her a kiss on her forehead before putting her down. As soon as her tiny feet touched the ground, she began rummaging through her backpack to find the picture.

As the two girls were discussing Heidi's latest artwork, Shelby came closer to the two love struck women. She smiled brightly at them and attempted to hug them, but stopped when she saw the tight hold Quinn was holding Rachel in. "How are you both?" She asked with a smile that reminded Quinn of Rachel. "Not too bad," Rachel replied, "We were a little sticky before but we're all sorted now!" As Rachel chuckled to herself Shelby shifted her eyes to Quinn with confusion. The blonde widened her eyes at the older woman. "Heidi pretended she was an elephant squirting water, only instead of water it was orange juice." Quinn provided her with the information quickly so that she didn't think anything...strange. "Oh I see!" Shelby sighed with a giggle. "Yes I remember Beth doing something similar when she was Heidi's age; always getting messy with food! Jam was her favourite!" She laughed and both mother and daughter looked to their girls. Quinn also smiled, feeling that same pang of sadness hit her heart. Before she could feel too sorry for herself, she felt Rachel squeeze her hand. These light squeezes were perfect for the two of them. They just gave the right amount of comfort and love without being anti-social and overzealous. Quinn squeezed her hand back and gave Rachel a delicate kiss on the cheek as she watched Beth talk to Heidi. As she watched her birth daughter laugh and talk with (her possibly adopted daughter) Heidi and smiled with a far away look in her eye, she realised that she could have these special moments with Heidi. Never would she replace Beth, just like Shelby would never replace Rachel, but like Shelby, Heidi was a second chance. And perhaps Quinn would get a third. Maybe.

"So Beth," Rachel began clapping her hands lightly as they wandered around the store, daughter's hand in hers and Quinn on the other side of that small girl, "Where is this dress you have personally selected for me?" She asked with a slight quiver that she hoped no one picked up. Of course Quinn heard it loud and clear. She knew her girlfriend had because she could feel her hazel-green eyes on her. She turned her head as Beth ran off to find the dress and caught Quinn's smile. "Rach," she began with a soft tone and quiet volume, "Whatever Beth picks out you'll stunning." She told her sincerely. "Yeah mommy you'll look real pretty." Heidi pipped up grinning widely at her mom. Rachel smiled down at her, "Thank you sweetie," she then smiled over at Quinn, "And thank you darling, you'll look fabulous as well."

"Both you girls would look beautiful wearing nothing but trash bags!" Shelby added, picking up a dress from a near by clothing rack and holding it against herself. "And you, little star," she turned to Heidi once she had put the dress back, "Will look exceptionally pretty too."

"Thank you Grandma." Heidi smiled at the exceptionally taller woman. It still surprised Quinn – and Rachel – to hear Shelby be called 'grandma'. The woman had always wanted to have the opportunity to be called grandma or nana or something similar, considering she had a daughter in her twenties and a young teenage daughter now it was always going to be possible. Still, she was still rather young and it did shock her sometimes as well. Still, none of them would change it for the world.

Not too long after Rachel had picked out a dress shirt she thought was cute, Beth bounced over to them holding out a black dress with a white Peter Pan collar. Her smile was more of a smirk and her eyes were sparkling. "Rach this will totally look super awesome on you," was the only phrase the young teenager said before detaching her sister and her niece and dragging Rachel over to the changing rooms. "Mommy's going to go and get all pretty," Heidi announced to her grandmother and Quinn. Shelby laughed bent down to button up the little girl's coat. "How about you and I let mommy get all pretty and try her dress on whilst you and I go get some hot chocolate?" Shelby's eyes flickered up to Quinn and she winked at her; she could see this would be the perfect way for her to bond with her estranged daughter and Rachel at the same time without it being awkward. Heidi gasped dramatically and she began to jump up and down as she looked up at Quinn; "Can I Quinn? Can I, can I please?" She began to beg and Quinn couldn't handle it. She nodded her head as fast as she could and held her hands out in front of her. "Of course! Of course!" She told her, trying not to laugh at the little girl's over excitement. At hearing the news she was going to get hot chocolate with her nana instead of dress shopping Heidi began to jump and down once again, only to be pulled out of the shop with Shelby yelling over her shoulder to tell Rachel they would be in the Starbucks a few shops over.

Once the jumping jelly bean Rachel and Quinn called 'Heidi' had bounced out of the store, Quinn wandered to the back where the changing rooms were. The queue was long and so Rachel and Beth had only just got into the changing room. Quinn explained to the woman that her girlfriend and her..girlfriend's sister were inside and she made her way to the little curtained cubicle. She stood outside the one she had been instructed to and could hear Beth and Rachel talking about the dress. "Come on Rach it'll look great on you and I think Quinn will totally wanna-"

"Beth don't finish that sentence!" She heard Rachel scold with a giggle, and Quinn could just feel the blush on Rachel's cheek. "What?" She heard Beth exclaim, "I wasn't going to say anything!"

"You so were Beth and I don't want you talking about that stuff!"

"Why, because you two haven't got that far yet?"  
>"Beth! Seriously stop talking about that stuff."<p>

"Okay, okay I'll stop embarrassing you. But seriously Rachel, I'm glad you've got her." Hearing Beth say that made Quinn step closer to the curtain, even though she could hear everything from where she was, she still felt she had to be closer. "I mean when you first told me that you had a girlfriend in high school I was like, okay that's unexpected, I mean considering you had Heidi, but seeing you together I am seriously really glad you have her. I'm really glad you're happy. Just so you know." Quinn could hear herself when she was younger. She could tell that Beth was getting shy about revealing all of her emotions. She smiled knowing that Beth had inherited some mannerisms from her. "Thanks Beth, I am really happy her and I think Heidi is too." She heard Rachel say back and she could now tell they were hugging, especially if the cute giggling was anything to go by. Soon the conversation was back to the dress and Beth came out from behind the curtain. "Oh Quinn," Beth exclaimed startled, "hey Rachel will be out in a minute she's just fixing the dress so it looks just right." Quinn nodded her head and knew that Rachel was scrutinising the outfit Beth had picked out for her.

Not long after Beth had come out of the changing cubical, Rachel peeked out from behind the curtain. Quinn had honestly never seen her look so adorable. She had a sheepish look on her face as she bit her lip. "Quinn are you ready to see?" She asked in small voice, her cheeks glowing with a light red tinge. Quinn nodded her head and closed her eyes in anticipation, knowing how much Rachel loved having a grand entrance. Sheepishly and walking on her tip toes as if she were a ballerina, Rachel stepped out of the dressing room and kept her hands behind her back. "Okay," she whispered, "You can open your eyes now." Without needing to be told twice, Quinn obeyed her girlfriend's instruction and opened her eyes. A light gasp escaped from her mouth at the sight. Of course Rachel had on only her simple, natural make up and her socks and her hair was pulled back in a pony tail, but she still looked amazing in her new dress. Beth was right; Rachel looked truly magnificent.

Carefully and looking at her as if she were a mirage that would suddenly vanish, Quinn stepped forward and approached Rachel holding her hands out. Wearing a sweet smile she took hold of both of Rachel's from behind her back and brought the girl close to her. "You look beautiful." The blonde told the brunette simply, shrugging her shoulders, "You always look beautiful." At her words and loving look she gave her, Rachel blushed and nodded her head. "Thank you," she whispered and she perched herself on her tiptoes and gave Quinn a light peck of a kiss. Behind them Beth was watching, arms folded and smirk fixed on her face. "Told you Quinn you think you're smokin' hot!" She called out and laughed when the older girls broke from their kiss and glared at her. The blonde teenager held her hands out and backed away, still laughing and calling out that she was going to find her own dress for the party and they had better be out within five minutes or else she would be calling the store security.

Rolling her eyes at the retreating form of Beth, Quinn looked back at Rachel. "She reminds me a little of Santana," she admitted and shuddered at the thought of the Latina's own children's behaviour. Rachel giggled quietly. "I'm sure with Brittany being there also, they're children will be the perfect blend of viscious and bubbly!" The two girls smirked at each other, picturing miniature Latinas and Dutch girls running around their parents: Quinn imagined a little blonde girl yelling at Santana in Spanish, refusing to get into her pyjamas whilst a little brunette would be giggling into Brittany's shoulder and babbling about 'stopping violence' and making an amusing unrelated comment. Tugging at her daydreaming girlfriend's hand, Rachel told Quinn to go and find Beth and she would be out in little bit after getting redressed. Quinn nodded her head, pressed a kiss to Rachel's cheek and then left the dressing room, not before checking out her stunning girlfriend in the adorable yet somehow sexy dress once again.

Moments later Quinn found the teenager holding up a dress to her body in front of mirror. She frowned as she saw the length and marched over to her. "I highly doubt that's a dress your mother would approve of." She chastised from behind, trying to take the skimpy (sluttish) dress off of the teenager. Beth matched Quinn's frown. "Why not?" She asked, handing her the dress, "It's cute." Quinn raised her eyebrows at her. "In what universe is this dress cute?" Before the young blonde could answer, Quinn put the left over material on the rack and continued, "You are not even sixteen yet. That dress is way too short and way too revealing for you wear."

"I'm going to be sixteen soon," she pouted but Quinn just rolled her eyes, "And besides lots of girls wear these kinds of dresses."

"Yes but you are not 'lots of girls' Beth, you're special and you have self respect."

"Wearing a dress like this doesn't mean I don't respect myself." She argued but Quinn put her hand on her hip and tried to give her her old HBIC glare. "Beth, take some advice from someone who knows, you do not and should not need to dress like this. Not to get attention and not to feel good about yourself. You don't need to show your body off to people. The only person you should show your body off to is yourself." At that comment both blondes gave each other a puzzled look. Back tacking, Quinn shook her head. "The point is, don't show your body off. Modesty and decency is important."

"Oh God!" Beth groaned, her cheeks tinting red slightly. "Are you going to give me 'the sex talk'? Did my mom put you up to this? Or Rachel-"

"No!" Quinn interrupted, her cheeks turning red also. "No way, definitely not. I was just saying..just get something that covers you up a little more, okay?" Quinn asked, and gave Beth a slightly pleading look. After a little while of just staring at each other, Beth deflated and nodded her head.

When Rachel came out of the changing rooms the three of them began searching the store for a dress that Beth and Quinn approved of. Surprisingly it didn't take long. However when they did finally purchase the dresses and made it to the Starbucks, little Heidi was sitting in Shelby's lap and had pretty much fallen asleep. Despite a cookie and a hot chocolate the girl had crawled into her grandma's lap, wrapped her arms around her neck and had gone to sleep, lightly snoring. Rachel immediately picked up the little girl and began stroking her hair and kissing her cheek. Both Quinn and Rachel proceeded to take their precious star back to the car and drove her home. Rachel was glad she had actually gone to sleep; at least with this nap she might be able to stay up late enough and see the clock strike twelve like Cinderella and welcome the New Year.

Finally it was time to go to the party. Both Hiram and Leroy were dressed in their Tuxedos and were waiting to escort their princesses to the 'ball'. At the bottom of the stairs they heard the tell tale signs of the girls making their way down. Little Heidi was dressed in a candy floss coloured dress and a pink hair band. She beamed at her grandpas and carefully made her way down the stairs. "Look at me I'm a princess!" She cheered as she was swooped up into Grandpa Leroy's arms. "You certainly are Heidi!" He told her, "You're the prettiest princess in the whole world."

"Nuh uh," the little girl argued, "Mommy and Quinn are the prettiest princesses in the whole world."

"Oh are they?" Grandpappy Hiram asked, straightening her hair band slightly and smiling at her. Heidi nodded her head at him. "Yep, Quinn said mommy was the prettiest princess in the world and mommy said Quinn was the prettiest princess so I think they both are the prettiest princesses in world." Both men grinned at their granddaughter and then at each other before looking at her again. "Well that's a very nice thing to say Hedi." Hiram told her, backed up by Leroy. "But secretly do you want to know who really is the prettiest princess in the whole world?" Heidi widened her eyes and nodded her head, cheering "Yes please" and trying to clap her hands behind Leroy's head. "Well," Hiram whispered loudly. "You're actually the prettiest princess in the whole world."

"Now daddy you can't have favourites," Rachel's voice was heard as both she and Quinn descended the stairs.

The brunette was dressed in her new black dress with the Peter Pan collar and had tied a white belt around it, wore thick black tights on her legs and knee high boots. Quinn wore a deep purple dress with long sleeves and velvet ballet slippers. Where Rachel's hair was curled and clipped, Quinn's was put up and elevated her long neck. Both men's jaws dropped when they saw them walking down the stairs hand in hand and beaming at them. Leroy whistled; "You girls look marvellous!" And Heidi wriggled to get out of his arms, wanting to hug both her mommy and Quinn. "See we're all princesses!" She declared, taking hold of one hand each from the women. The grown up adults nodded their heads and instructed the girls to come, telling Rachel Heidi's things were already in the car. They had packed a pair of pyjamas, Frougle and a blanket just in case she wanted to go to sleep whilst at the party. They had also packed a secret diaper, just in case all of the excitement of the 'magical party' caused her to have an accident whilst she slept. It was kept a secret as Heidi had been working very hard on not having any accidents, especially since starting kindergarten. Even though she hadn't had an accident for a long time, Rachel still insisted they pack one just in case, after all this was Heidi's first big party and her mommy wanted to be prepared. Especially so she didn't ruin her first New Years Eve with Quinn in a long time.

It wasn't a long drive to the park, but due to Rachel's anxiety it felt like hours. Rachel sat next to Heidi's booster seat with Quinn on her other side. For the whole ride the little girl was talking animatedly about what kinds of pictures she was going to draw and all the dancing she was going to do. Her grandparents entertained her musings with questions and praise and Rachel tried to join in, but she was more focused on nibbling at her bottom lip and squeezing Quinn's hand. The blonde had felt Rachel's nerves and wanted to make her feel better. For the thirty minute car journey Quinn didn't let go of her hand once and Rachel rested her head on her shoulder, allowing the top of her head to be kissed and have soothing words of encouragement whispered to her. To anyone else they wouldn't be able to see why this was such a big deal, but that's why Rachel knew Quinn was perfect: she understood her. She just understood her nerves and didn't question it and just comforted her. The small actions she made were just what she needed and Rachel knew she wouldn't have to worry about the rest of the evening.

Heidi was bouncing more than Tiger after drinking coffee! She was so excited and was trying so hard to stay holding onto her mommy's and Quinn's hand as they walked through to the grand hall where the party was being held. She walked through the halls wearing her puffy pink jacket, little pink hat and pink scarf (due to her mother's overreacting!) and clutching onto both women's hands whilst looking around her with amazed wide eyes. The party was being hosted in the most beautiful place she had ever seen! The halls were decorated with shining banners that read "Happy New Year" and a large number that Heidi couldn't read yet. Classy Sparkles was clearly the theme as it appeared the family had wandered into a magical fairy tale where everything had to shine. Gold and light yellow walls and furnishings with silver and diamonds lit the rooms. Music was playing and beautiful art was hung on the wall. The ceilings were high and had beautiful decorations painted on. Little Heidi, as well as Rachel and Quinn, couldn't help but beam and gasp at everything. Eventually they made it into the hall where the full party was being held and the world transformed once again.

Their coats and other outdoor gear were taken away from them and they entered a world of jewelled winter. There were ice sculptures in the shape of the big number and 'Happy New Year'. A giant projection screen, that was showing the live 'waiting for the ball to drop' from Times Square, was decorated with blue and purple tinsel to match the rest of the room. A giant disco ball was overhead in the dimmed room and flashing lights accompanied the happy music. Everywhere were people dressed to the nines – therefore they also followed the theme of 'Classy Sparkles'. But as Heidi looked up at her mother once again, she knew instantly that the older brunette would always light up any room and would always be the most stunning and beautiful woman in the world. She could also see that Quinn was thinking the same thing. Her hazel-green eyes were glistening and her smile was soft. Continuing to walk through the loud room, Heidi subtly leaned into Quinn ever so slightly; telling her that she approved of their relationship. Even at four years old, she was definitively smart and very in tune with her mommy's feelings.

"Okay princesses," Leroy clapped his hands together, shouting above the pounding music. "Hiram and I are going to go get some drinks, why don't you go and show our littlest princess where the children's party is?" He beamed at his tiny princess and her mom and then wrapped his arm around Hiram's neck, bringing him closer to him and talking to him softly as they moved towards the bar. Quinn looked down at Heidi and picked her up, not caring about her little girl's damp little shoes possibly dirtying her dress. Rachel wrapped her arm around Quinn and placed her hand on Heidi's back, tucking a piece of loose hair behind her ear. "Do you want to go and see the magic man, pixie?" Rachel asked, smiling widely at her daughter. The little girl looked passed Quinn's shoulder and her smile fell slightly. Her teeth bit down onto her lower lip and she turned her head to look at her mom and then at Quinn. "I...," she began suddenly noticing how crowded the room was. Quinn looked around also and pressed a kiss to Heidi's forehead. "Hey it's okay sweetie," continuing to smile she reassured her, "You can hang out with mommy and I for a little while, okay?" Hearing Quinn's words, Heidi relaxed a little but looked over to her mommy to check it was okay. Seeing her daughter's hesitant look, Rachel plucked her daughter from her girlfriend's arms and held her on her hip, also placing a kiss on her forehead. "Come on sweetheart, lets go and dance together? The three of us can show everyone our impressive move." At her mother's insistence, Heidi perked up immediately and nodded her head. "Yeah mommy!" She called out, "I want to show everyone I'm a good dancer."  
>"You're more than a good dancer," Quinn told her, removing Rachel's arm around her own waist and reclaiming that position for herself as she escorted her two princesses to the dance floor. Her hand was warm and comfortable on the small of Rachel's back and her thumb lightly grazed her, thinking of how she was going to keep her hand there for as much as possible and when her right hand can rejoin her left when they slow dance together and when they share their New Year's kiss.<p>

Heidi held onto her mom as they made their way into the centre of the dance floor. Although still attached to her mother's hips, she still wiggled to the music and sung as loudly as she could. She of course didn't know the lyrics, but that didn't stop her from singing! Quinn created a barrier for the little girl so that no one else accidentally knocked into her but the trio danced together like a tight knit family. "We're an onion," Heidi announced matter of factly. Both her mother and Quinn gave her an amused but puzzled look. "Grandpappy says that onions snimbolise togetherness and family because there are three cloves of them in one onion." Understanding what her genius of a daughter was talking about Rachel laughed and lifted her daughter up above her head, detaching herself momentarily away from Quinn. "I think you mean a garlic sweetheart!" She laughed and brought Heidi to rest against her, kissing her cheeks and holding her tightly. "Oh yeah," Heidi giggled, "We're not onions we're shums! We're shums mommy!" Quinn wrapped the girl up into a hug too as Rachel nodded her laugh and smiled the brightest smile Quinn had ever seen on her. "That's right Heidi," she beamed, "You, me and Quinn are shums together."

"A family of shums!" Heidi concluded and she wrapped her little arms around Quinn as well as her mom. In the embrace Quinn swore she could have cried; Heidi called them a family. They were a family. All she had ever wanted was a family. When she was sixteen she wanted her family to be her and Beth, but then she wanted it to just be with anyone as long as she was loved. But ever since she finally came to terms with her feelings all those years ago all she had ever wanted since then was a family with Rachel. And now she had one and she was going to make sure her family was happy and safe and that they stayed like that. She caught the tell tale glimpse of a tear in Rachel's eyes.

Feeling overly emotional, Quinn pulled Rachel to her and kissed her on the lips, not forgetting but just putting Hedi's presence to one side so she could convey just how honoured, thrilled and happy she was that she was finally able to be a family with the girl she loved. For being given a second chance at being in her life. "Me too Quinn, me too!" The blonde was brought out of her thoughts, and her kiss, by the sound of a little four year old who also wanted to be shown Quinn's joy at being in a family. "Of course pixie-star!" Quinn grinned and pressed a light kiss to the little girl's lips. As she pulled away Heidi giggled and climbed out of her mom's arms and took hold of their hands. Instead of keeping hold of the grown up hands, however, she attached them to each other. "You two need to hold hands because you love each other." She told them, again in her simple matter of factly tone. The two women blushed but looked at each other. "We do love each other," Rachel told Quinn and brought their lips together once more in another – chaste – love filled kiss. "But we also love you too," she told her little girl and took hold of her hand so they could all dance together. As a shum; as a family. The three of them continued to jump, sway and dance to the music. At one point, Rachel leaned in and enlightened Quinn on what exactly Heidi was referring to by naming them as a 'shum'. "In Ivrit," she began, "'shum' means 'garlic' and it also name that was used in the early Middle Ages for the three Jewish communities." She explained and could see that Quinn was impressed not only by Rachel's Jewish knowledge but also Heidi's. She was sure that at her age she wouldn't remember something like that, even if Hiram had simplified it largely. "It's since become an acronym and is now a symbol for community and, as Heidi has interrupted it, a family." Whilst Heidi was shaking her body, puffing her cheeks out and thoroughly entertaining another trio of young women with her 'impressive dance moves', Quinn curled her hand around Rachel's waist and kissed her in a much more x rated way than the previous chaste and innocent kisses they had shared in Heidi's presence. "You know your daughter is a genius right?" She asked with a playful but genuine smile and look of admiration. Coyly, Rachel shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. "Well she is my daughter after all!" Quinn laughed with her and gently slapped her butt, causing Rachel to jump and 'eek' slightly. The sound alerted Heidi back to their attention and the trio were joined together once again to dance.

An hour passed and Heidi had managed to drink three glasses of water, one tiny glass of lemonade and a glass of apple juice, but she refused to leave the dance floor. Beth and Shelby had joined the little gathering of Berrys (and Fabray) and currently the tiny four year old was dancing barely a few

metres away from her mom, Quinn and grandparents with her auntie Beth. Rachel was sat next to Quinn with her head rested on her shoulder and hand placed firmly on her knee. The two of them were trying to listen to what Leroy was saying, but couldn't take their thoughts off each other and their eyes away from their daughter's. Quinn was amazed how grown up Beth was. Of course she was grown up. Although she had seen her at Christmas a few days ago, her firmest memory of the girl was when she was born. Wrapped up in a pink blanket and placed next to her whilst Quinn herself caught her breath and got back down from her high after giving birth to her. She remembered clearly – as if was literally just happening or playing in front of her on a cinema screen – the way her tiny, perfect baby girl looked up at her and smiled. Even though babies can't smile that young, Quinn knew for a fact Beth was smiling at her. In those few moments Quinn had never felt so free and calm and...and happy. It may have just been the pain drugs they had given her or the relief from having just given birth, but looking into her daughter's eyes she knew she was going to be a brilliant, beautiful and wonderful girl. It broke her heart a little too much to watch her through the glass of the nursery and have that conversation with Puck. _"Do you want to keep her?"_ He had asked her. Although she wanted to, she wanted to so badly, she knew she couldn't and her heart shattered once more as she whispered back as strongly as she could, _"No." _To see Shelby sign the papers and take her little girl home almost made Quinn want to die in that moment. But seeing her now, dancing, laughing, looking so beautiful and living without a single care in the world, Quinn knew she had made the right choice. She didn't know if or when Beth would know the truth, but as long as she didn't hate her and knew she did everything because she knew it was for the best, then everything really would be okay.

She felt Rachel's lips on her neck and she turned her head to look at her. The young mother was smile up at her with slightly hooded eyes. "Where'd you go?" Whispering she asked. Rachel. Perfect Rachel always knowing when Quinn had gone on some sort of trip to the past. Or just a trip. Carefully Quinn brushed her lips over Rachel's and nuzzled into her, looking back at a younger version of herself and atiny version of Rachel, she whispered back; "Just thinking how perfect our daughters are." Nodding her head Rachel agreed and took her hand off Quinn's knee to wrap her arms around her girlfriend. Together they stayed like that, just watching Beth twirl Heidi and then Heidi try to do the same only have Beth tickle Heidi and spin her around. "I can't wait to have more moments like this," Quinn smiled quietly so only Rachel could hear her, "with you." Breathing in Quinn's sweet fruity scent, Rachel nodded her head once again. Words weren't needed. Just themselves; their touches, their aromas, their looks...that was all they needed in that moment. And they had it. They were together watching their futures in front of them and planning more and more futures to come.

A few minutes passed and Beth and Heidi wandered back over to the table of grown up. Heidi was shifting against Beth, trying hard not clench herself together too much. Rachel sat up and looked her over, checking she wasn't hurt. "Mommy I have to go to the bathroom." The little girl whined, clearly not wanting to leave the dance floor. Rachel exhaled and stood, glad that Heidi wasn't hurt and just disappointed for having to take a break from her twirling and bopping. "I'd take her for you Rach but I really want to go say hi to someone." Beth said, blushing as she widened her eyes and subtly tilted her head back to a young man who was looking their way. Clearly a crush or potential crush. Quinn made a mental note to subtly grill the boy later. She just prayed her wasn't a jock. "It's okay Beth, I'll take her." Rachel told her reaching out to take the squirming girl's hand. Detaching her eyes from the boy – allowing Shelby to take over, only with a much more menacing glare – Quinn stood up. "No Rach why don't you stay here with your mom and dads and I'll take her." She said, smiling at Rachel. The older brunette looked from Heidi to Quinn and asked her, "Are you sure?" To which Quinn gave her a 'please, I can handle it' look. "Yeah, it's not like I haven't taken her to the bathroom before. Plus I kinda need to go."

"Okay, all right. But don't be too long."

"We won't sweetheart." Quinn kissed her cheek and then took hold of Heidi's hand, who immediately began to drag her over to the nearest rest-rooms. "Bye mommy, see you soon." She called over her shoulder and the two of them ran as fast as they could, leaving Rachel to chuckle to herself.

Coincidentally, the bathrooms were very close to the DJ and Quinn suddenly had a stroke of brilliance. She hadn't heard Rachel sing since they went to that bar all that time ago, and now what better chance for her to get her confidence back then singing in front of an audience that would actually appreciate her.? It was perfect! Still holding onto Heidi's hand as they were making their way back, Quinn stopped and went down on her knees. "Hey Heidi," she cooed, straightening the little bow on Heidi's dress, "Do you want to do something nice for mommy?" The little girl's eyes lit up once more and she grinned; "Yeah!"

"Well, can I tell you a secret?"

"Yes! Yes please do!"

"Well, did you know your mommy used to be the best singer in our school?"

"No." Heidi said, shaking her head.

"Well she did, and did you know also know she used to sing on stage as her job for thousands of people?"

"Really?" She exclaimed excitedly.

"She did, but she hasn't sung much since you were born."

"Why?"

"She's been waiting for the perfect opportunity, you know what I think would be really nice?"

"What?"

"Is if she sang the special New Years Eve song here, tonight, in front of all of these people."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Do you think she'll like it?"  
>"Does she know the words? I don't know them."<p>

"That's okay, you're mommy knows all the words. And she has a beautiful voice. The most beautiful voice in the world."

"I want to hear her sing."

"Well, what do you say we go to the man in charge of the music and ask if she can sing the special New Years Eve song?"

"Yeah! Can we? I want to ask!"

"Okay then, let's do it. But we can't tell mommy. It's got to be a surprise okay?"

"Okay."

"Good girl." Quinn told her, and she stood up and reclaimed Heidi's hand to walk her back.

Coming back from the bathroom, Heidi announced she didn't want to dance any more and she stated she wanted to do some drawing. This time it was Leroy and Hiram who took her off. They each held onto her hands and walked her over to another room where there were lots of other children. They walked her over to the drawing table where she immediately introduced herself and began drawing seamlessly endless pictures of their evening so far. Now that Heidi was safely and happily occupied, Quinn decided that it was time to have some real romantic New Years Eve time with Rachel. Taking her by the wrist and then linking their hands together, she walked them over to the dance floor, wrapped Rachel's arms around her neck and held her by her waist and gently swayed them to the beating music. This was the way they were always meant to be; dancing together, smiling into each others eyes and just generally being together. "I've really enjoyed my evening." Rachel said, licking her lips due to the heat with the amount of couples that were on the dance floor. "Me too, it's been awesome to spend the evening with my girls," Quinn told her back, lowering her hands slightly to cup Rachel's behind as she continued; "Although it is nice to finally get some alone time with you." Her voice was husky and her tone was sensual. She winked at Rachel caused the smaller brunette to giggle and blush: unsure of which reaction came first. "Well," she caught her breath and flicked her hair back, "If it's any consolation I am really glad that you won't just be my New Years Kiss."

"Oh yeah?" Quinn asked, swishing Rachel around and palming her backside once again giving it a light squeeze. "Yeah," Rachel almost moaned, moulding herself further into Quinn, "I would love if you could be my New Year Everything." She pressed herself against Quinn and pressed her lips against Quinn's ear to whisper; "I love you so much Quinn." Quinn moved her hands off of Rachel's bottom and pressed her own lips to Rachel's ear; "I love you too," she whispered, closing her eyes as she held Rachel against her.

With ten minutes until the final countdown, Heidi had bounced out of the children's drawing room and was making up her mind on whose hand to hold. Should she hold mommy's hand? Or Quinn's? They both held each other and kept a hand on her shoulders, but she knew that they should probably just be looking at each other. Grandpa and Grandpappy were holding each other too and smiling at each other, Beth was talking to some boy and she didn't want to go over and break them up – not that she was allowed anyway, considering she had to stay with mommy and Quinn. Then she looked to Nana Shelby. She didn't have anyone to hold, so she figured she would best person to stand with. "Mommy I want to stand with Nana Shelby." Rachel peeled herself off of Quinn for a moment to look down at her daughter. "Don't you want to have a New Years kiss from mommy and Quinn?" She asked, although seeing Shelby come over and take Heidi's hand in her. Heidi looked up at both Quinn and her mom and smiled. "You and Quinn go first then me okay? I want Nana Shelby to be my New Year Kiss." Shelby smiled and picked the little girl up. "That's very nice of you Heidi, thank you." Her favourite granddaughter began to squirm and giggle when her fingers began to tickle her tummy but she didn't mind as she hung onto Shelby and began to twirl her hair around her little fingers. Chuckling, Quinn took hold of Rachel and pressed a kiss to her forehead, much to Rachel's displeasure. "Quinn!" She shrieked, "You can't kiss me yet!"

"I can't kiss your lips yet," Quinn told her, smirking. "Besides, something tells me you'll be a little more occupied to just be kissing me." Rachel frowned at her and asked what she meant, but Quinn was keeping her mouth shut and instead changed the topic.

The countdown was beginning and everyone had rushed to the screen to watch the ball drop. Under the screen was the stage where the man in charge of the evening stood, microphone in hand and encouraging everyone to join in with the countdown. Shelby held onto Heidi tightly and over exaggerated sounding out the numbers so the little girl could join in with ease. Leroy and Hiram held each other by their waists and Leroy, instead of joining in with the countdown, prayed and repeated in his mind over and over again his hopes and wishes for his family for the new year. Beth and her possible new boyfriend were stood near Shelby's watchful eyes, but the boy – Felix – kept his hands firmly on Beth's waist and stared deep into her brown eyes. As for Quinn and Rachel they were stood at the front and gazing just as loving into each others. The countdown commenced and everyone shrieked; "Happy New Year"! Kisses were shared and tears flowed, but there was one more thing that needed to be done. Quinn broke away from her kiss and smiled brightly at Rachel. Her girlfriend was about to lean in and kiss her again, except this time Quinn grabbed hold of Rachel's hand pulled her along. "Quinn what are you doing?" Rachel asked, but Quinn didn't reply. Instead she pulled her up onto the stage and presented her to the man in charge. "Sir, may I introduce to you the world's greatest singer; Rachel Berry-Dexter."

"Quinn-"

"Hello Rachel it's an honour to meet you!" The man gushed, clearly a Broadway fan. "It is so wonderful that you would agree to sing Auld Lang Syne." Rachel's mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. "What?" But before she could protest, Quinn held her hands and looked at her. "Rachel you love singing and you need to do it again. If not for yourself or for me, but for Heidi." Gracefully, she twisted Rachel round to see her little girl in her own mother's arms and pointed. Heidi waved and clapped, waiting for her to sing. "She wants to hear you sing Rachel." Quinn told her quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Please?" She asked, pleading a little. Giving one final look to Heidi, Beth, Shelby and her fathers and finally back at Quinn, Rachel nodded her head and smiled. "I will."

The man spoke into the microphone and beamed into the audience; "And now ladies and gentlemen introducing Broadway star and home grown talent, Ms Rachel Berry-Dexter." As the applause died down, Rachel looked out onto the crowd and smiled at her two favourite people in the world; Quinn and Heidi. Quinn was right. If she wasn't going to sing for herself, then she was going to sing for Heidi. Her little girl deserved to hear her sing and have songs in her life; something they both had been deprived of for so long. She closed her eyes momentarily and began to sing. "Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind. Should all acquaintance be forgot and auld lang syne. For auld lang syne, my dear. For auld lang syne. "We'll take a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne." The music picked up and Rachel could feel everyone melting with the sound of her voice. "And surely you will buy your cup, and surely I'll buy mine, and we'll take a cup o'kindness yet for auld lang syne." As each line was sung, the crowd fell more in love with her voice and Rachel's confidence grew more and more. "We too have run around the slopes and picked the daisies fine. We've londoned many weary foot since auld lang syne. For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne." No matter how many people were out there looking at her, filming her on their phones and listening to her, all she cared about were the six people who loved her with all their hearts. She smiled her special smile at Quinn and the music slowed again. "We too have paddled in the stream. From morning sun to night, but the seas between us broad have roared from auld lang syne. For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup o' kindness yet. For auld lang syne we'll take a cup o'kindness yet, for auld langs syne." As Rachel sand the last line of the special New Years Eve Song, Quinn beamed at her with so much pride she was sure her face was going to hurt for days. Heidi was nestled into her neck and was watching her mommy watch them and she too felt proud. "I want mommy to sing that to me when we go home, Quinn." She whispered, as to not take the attention away form her glorious mother. Without breaking her gaze off of the older brunette, Quinn nodded her head. "Yeah, me too." She never wanted Rachel to stop singing ever again. She was sure after this performance she would be able to go back to New York. Quinn was sure all she needed was a little push and a little faith.

And Quinn was going to be with her the entire time. As a tear slid from her eye Quinn mouth the three words she was never going to stop saying to her girl; "I love you" and as Rachel took her bow in front of the up-roaring audience, Rachel winked and mouthed, "Forever."

**Here (hopefully) is the amazing Lea Michele singing 'Auld Lang Syne' from the film "New Years Eve" if you want to hear just how stunning she sounds when singing this song:**

** U0clMXykq64**


	16. Magical Horses

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Magical Horses**

A frosty morning daze was cast over the Berry household, as well as the rest of Lima. Outside there was a light sparkling frost covering the crunchy snow on the ground and the temperature was just above freezing, causing a calming mist to haze over the town. A calm Friday morning was waiting to greet the sleepy people of Lima, Ohio, with only a few people out. There was the lonely dog walker trudging through the snow trying to keep a bouncing poodle on its lead, the postman sat in the cabby of his post van making his way around the streets, trying to be as quiet as possible, and finally the few cars driving as quickly and as safely as they could to race to work. It was barely six o'clock in the morning when the bright light of the day was streaming through the curtains of Rachel's bedroom. The glow of the light created a beam, like a spotlight on a Broadway stage, and rested upon the two sleeping beauties.

Inside the warm bedroom, Quinn held her love in her strong arms. The brunette's head was resting under her chin and placed over her softly beating heart. She was sound asleep and dreaming peaceful thoughts, knowing that she would wake up in the arms of the woman she had loved since she was sixteen years old. The blonde held the sleeping woman in her arms and looked down at her with a simply awed smile spreading across her face. To Heidi she was a peasant in a see of royalties but to Quinn herself, she was so much more the princess. In high school all those years ago, perhaps she was the peasant. But now being witness to the life she was living, she was definitely not a poor peasant. Yes, she may have been on the stage living her dream of singing her heart out to packed audiences after completing her successful years at school in New York, and yes she may now be right back where she started; living at home, in Lima, under her fathers' roof. But through the sadness and the heartbreak of no longer being back on that stage, Rachel Berry(Dexter) was still the princess in Quinn Fabray's eyes. She had been blessed with an outstandingly beautiful daughter who idolised her mother. The older brunette may still be filled with sadness as not living out her life long ambition of being on the stage, but she hadn't given up. She was supporting herself and her daughter, and all though she probably didn't know it yet, she would be back on that stage singing to crowded audiences once again and making astonished theatre goers cry just by listening to the sound of her incredible voice.

Quinn had been staring down at the woman wrapped in her arms for what felt like only seconds, but had really been the best part of an hour. She loved Heidi. And her fathers. And Quinn. And although she was living a more simple life, she knew she was still grateful for it. She could have died on that stage along with Louis but she didn't. Someone was watching out for her and that same someone had brought the two (or three counting Heidi) back together. It was in these moments of slumber where Quinn could truly see Rachel at peace. During the long hours of the day, the brunette played her role of Caring Mother, Darling Daughter and Loving Girlfriend perfectly, but like every great actress only the people closest to her could see that she was just that: an actress playing a role. Amongst the smiles and the gazes Rachel gave to everyone, Quinn could still see a shadow of pain and sorrow. As much as she was content and happy with her life – having a daughter, living with her fathers and being an adult – it was more than obvious that Rachel was missing something. She was missing her passion and her other love. She had been married to a man on the stage but before that she was married to that stage. As soon as she knew how to open her vocal chords, she was destined to sing. It was during these moments of sleep where Quinn would plot and plan how she was going to make Rachel happy again. She was happy of course, but not completely. It had been engraved into her heart that she was going to spend her days on the big stages of the world singing, and Quinn vowed to get her there again. Her life would always be the stage. Singing on the stage, acting on the stage, doing anything on the stage. As much as she and Heidi (and Louis) were loved, they would always come semi-second to the love Rachel had for the stage.

Dropping her head slightly, Quinn placed a small kiss on the top of Rachel's head. As she did so, she buried her nose into the wild mane of brunette hair and breathed in deeply her scent. Her apple shampoo and passion fruit shower gel, as well the most wonderful aroma in the world; a scent that was simply Rachel. As she inhaled her lover's smell, Quinn wrapped her arms tighter around the smaller woman and pressed more light kisses onto her head. She never wanted to let this woman go. She had never left from her heart, her soul or her mind and she would therefore never let her physically out of her life again. Just as she was about to relax her bear hugging grip on the woman, Rachel stirred and melted more into Quinn's creamy body. She too breathed in Quinn's vanilla scent as she inhaled and as she exhaled she couldn't help but moan a little. Her happy little noise caused Quinn to chuckle quietly and she mumbled; "Good morning Princess." Still listening to the rhythm of Quinn's heartbeat, Rachel pressed her ear down more onto it and mumbled into Quinn's chest; "It's Peasant Girl Rachel actually." The reply caused Quinn to laugh again, this time a little more loudly and she shook her arms – and therefore Rachel – to bring the other girl off her chest so she could look at her.

After a few wiggles and giggles, Rachel complied to Quinn's demands and she rolled slightly onto her stomach so she was lying across Quinn's body. Although they were fully clothed in cotton pyjamas, they could still feel each other's skin pressed against each other. As they gazed sleepily and yet completely wide awake into each other's eyes in that moment, they remembered their first time together. They woke up similarly to this; wearing soft smiles and softer eyes. The only difference was they were bare and rid of clothes. As Rachel remembered that particular moment in their lives, she gently ran her fingertips across Quinn's lips and whispered; "Good morning." Under Rachel's delicate fingertips Quinn smiled and puckered her lips so she could kiss those fingers she spent so many years wishing she could hold. And now her wish had been granted. Every morning she woke up with Rachel in the same bed next to her wishing her a good morning, she would pray that these days would never end. Instead of wishing her back a good morning, Quinn told her simply in the same hushed, whispered voice as Rachel; "You are never going to be Peasant Girl Rachel ever again," she kissed her fingers again and finished with; "You know that right?" Her eyebrows narrowed slightly as she watched Rachel think for a moment. As Rachel was taking her time in answering, Quinn took one of her hands off of Rachel and took hold of her smaller hand in her own, prizing away her fingertips from her mouth. She was holding her hand and vowed once again to never let it go.

The two girls – or now women as they were nearly in their thirties – had been brought back together again for only a few months, and yet it was clear neither of them were ever going to depart from one another. All the nights that Quinn had slept next to her lying, cheating husband had been wasted. She could have been spending them with Rachel in New York, but instead she allowed her father's words to eat away at her like a maggot. In those lonely days and even lonelier nights, she wondered what their lives would have been like would she have ignored her father. If she had told the truth right from the beginning. Sure, she may have been kicked out and sent off to college with no further contact from either of her parents, but at least she still would have had Rachel. They would probably have been married by now. They would probably be living in a swanky New York apartment and attending parties and formal dinners. Quinn would have probably been hired by some big shot New York law firm and would be making a comfortable living for her and Rachel. Sure, maybe they would have had a baby too, or at least thinking about it. But then, as she held Rachel's hand now and had her other hand resting on her back, stroking it like it was a magic lamp and waiting for the genie to come out, Quinn realised that maybe their separation was for the best. If the two of them had never broken up after graduation, then Heidi may never have been born, and that was probably the only reason why Quinn was glad for her father doing what he did.

"I'm so glad we found each other again." Quinn admitted to Rachel, still stroking her back. Rachel smiled slyly at Quinn and nodded her head slightly before replying back, "Me too." But Quinn wasn't finished. Her fingers gripped onto Rachel's tighter to silence her so she could continue her sappy, but honest and heartfelt confession. "I'm actually really glad that my father forced us to break up." Hearing the confession, Rachel's stomach suddenly felt a little queasy and her eyes widened in shock. Before the girl could either cry or start to protest some how, Quinn smiled at her a reassuring smile and brought Rachel's gripped hand to her own lips. She kissed them and held them there, closing her eyes and just feeling for a moment. Feeling Rachel's fingers being pressed against her lips and knowing neither of them were going anywhere. Once she reopened her eyes she continued. "Without that man breaking us up, you would have never found Louis, never would have gotten married and never would have given birth that perfect little girl down the hall." Having her daughter mentioned, Rachel smiled again. "That's why I'm glad he broke us up. It's awful what happened to Louis and I just wish there was some way that couldn't have happened," again mentioning her late husband Rachel's face shifted again, but once again Quinn was quick to settle it. "But if he hadn't, then maybe you and I would never have gotten together. Think about it; without his death you would still be living in New York and would be insanely happy and living 'the dream'. I probably still would have come home after finding my jackass of an ex-husband in bed with another woman, but I wouldn't have met you again." Quinn bobbed her head a little as she tried to explain herself without going completely morbid by bringing up the 'what ifs' and 'could have beens' of their lives. "I'm not saying all of that heartbreak was for a reason, but all I am going to say is that I am really happy and grateful that it did happen because it means that you and I can pick up where we left off." She finished her little monologue of melancholy with a smile and brought Rachel's fingers to her lips again. She was still watching Rachel's face as the brunette thought again, replaying Quinn's words in her head.

After an agonising few minutes of almost silence, Rachel looked Quinn back in the eyes and allowed a teary smile to break through. "I love you Quinn." She told her, not needing to say any more. The past would always somehow be present. Louis was obviously a big part of all their lives. But as far as Quinn was concerned, he was a way for her and Rachel to be something they had always deep down, past all of their other dreams, goal and ambitions wanted to be: parents. A tear slowly slid from one of Rachel's beautiful eyes, but Quinn didn't allow it to fall. She simple brought her and Rachel's fingers to the tear drop and caught it with her own finger. "No crying, okay?" Quinn whispered even quieter than before. Sniffling once, Rachel nodded her head and lay her head back down onto Quinn's chest. "I never want to cry again." She told her, breathing in Quinn's scent once again. As if they had gone backwards in time, Quinn pressed two kisses on Rachel's head and held her against herself once again.

Both of them knew they were going to have these deep moments. They were always going to think of the 'what ifs' and the 'would have beens', but as long as they both remembered the little mini Rachel not far away from them and the future they were going to build and have together, they wouldn't have to dwell on it for too long.

Carefully, Quinn rolled Rachel onto her back, startling the brunette woman a little at the sudden change in movement. Rachel now held Quinn by her back and Quinn held Rachel by her arms, hovering slightly above her. Making sure she was in a comfortable position and Rachel wouldn't protest, Quinn gently lowered herself onto Rachel's body and rested herself on top of her. Their faces were close together and their bodies were resting together. Both could feel the other breathing; each time Rachel took a breath Quinn would levitate slightly and then sink back down when Rachel would exhale. Rachel quirked her eyebrow up at Quinn and asked; "Did you want something?" In her 'trying to be sexy' voice. She still felt a little uncomfortable using it, but every time she tried Quinn would just smile and play along. This time however Quinn answered her by presenting her with her first kiss of the day. She pressed her pursed lips to Rachel's and began to stroke Rachel's arms up and down. Rachel relaxed into the kiss, letting out another light moan, and then slipping her hands under Quinn's pyjama shirt and pressing her palms against the warm skin she found there. Her fingers traced out shapes and patterns, and Quinn did the same to Rachel's arms, bringing her fingers up to Rachel's hair and twirling the brown locks around her fingers and letting them loose like a spring, allowing them to once again spread around her head like a halo.

A few moments of playful, delicate kissing made both women suddenly hungry. Quinn pulled back her lips the moment she heard her stomach growl like an angry bear. Rachel laughed at the noise Quinn had made and the blonde lightly slapped Rachel's arm as she rolled herself off of her girlfriend. "I think someone's hungry," Rachel announced, sitting up and staring down onto a clearly embarrassed Quinn. The blonde had pulled the covers up to her eyes to cover her blushing cheeks. From under the cover Quinn mumbled something and Rachel laughed once again, leaning down to press her lips to Quinn's forehead. "Do you want to come with me to wake Heidi?" She asked in a soft, almost patronising voice, as she knew Quinn would want to. Just as she predicted, the blonde threw back the covers – draping them over Rachel – and leapt out of the bed. She almost ran to the door to grab their dressing gowns and as she put on hers, she threw Rachel her own one. "Last one to give her a good morning kiss has to get her to eat her vegetables tonight!" Sticking her tongue out at the woman she loved, Quinn opened the door and closed it so it would take Rachel less time to get there. She didn't mind though. She had four years of Heidi all to herself. Pulling on her robe and climbing off the cave like bed, Rachel chuckled to herself as she thought of Quinn being at Heidi's fifth birthday party in a few months, and how she would probably be just the same as the kids invited; high on sugar and running around screaming at the top of her lungs.

Wrapping the robe around her waist, Rachel headed to her little pixie-star's room and thought back on the past five years. Her little baby would be five years old in May. She couldn't believe that it had been five years since she was in Lima General Hospital giving birth to her. She had been so full of emotions that she didn't even notice she was in labour. Her husband had been dead and buried for four months and for all that time she had been a zombie. She had been either staring into space and going over her memories in her mind on a replay, or she was crying. Crying into pillows, her dad and daddy's shoulders, old teddy bears, photographs or her and Louis...just crying to try and get rid of the pain and forget. The remaining months of her pregnancy had been tough on her. Some days she felt so low that she wouldn't even open her eyes, let alone leave her bed. Her fathers were worried for her. Their baby girl was hurting, but she was also hurting her child. Their grandchild was still growing inside of her and she needed to eat and be healthy for the life inside of her. Their little Rachel was hurting so much they didn't know what to do. Eventually Rachel began to eat again, after a hard hitting talk with Leroy. She remembered that day just as well as any other. He had stormed into her room with a bowl of soup and two bread rolls and sat them in front of her. They yelled and cried at each other, but sure enough the tough love and harsh words paid off because soon enough their little girl was putting on weight again and was being healthy for her own little girl.

The labour was a bizarre experience. Rachel had been laying on the couch watching the television with her daddy, her feet in his lap as he gave her a much needed foot rub, and nibbling on crackers. She had been numb for months, but on this day the numbing pain was different. During an important part of the programme they were watching, Rachel suddenly doubled over in pain and thus began her labour process. She was driven to the hospital by her dad and had her daddy holding her hand in back seat and annoying her by constantly telling her to breathe. Everything was a bit of a blur once she got into the car. She remembered white. Everything was white and bright and she didn't like it. She was hot. Far too hot. An early heatwave had hit the city and she was in no mood to push a baby out. On that bed with God knows how many doctors and nurses surrounding her, Rachel realised that all of her screaming was actually helping. She refused any form of pain medication and instead screamed, shouted and even cursed her way through. Venting all her pain and anger in that two hour period of giving birth. It was no wonder she was exhausted afterwards. After the pain she had lived with for months and then the pain of labour, for a little while she didn't feel any pain. When the doctor placed a cleaned up little baby girl in her arms, it was as if the whole world had faded away. All of the pain, sorrow and heartbreak she had been feeling for such a long time suddenly disappeared and was no longer there. She stared into those huge blue eyes that would slowly turn brown as she grew old and felt such love that there was no room for sadness. Staring up at her she saw the little star that was going to be her life. As a final tear from her painful labour left her eye, she brought her lips to her daughter's forehead and gave her, her first kiss and whispered her name.

That was five years ago. Her little Heidi was the smallest in her class and would probably remain that way for the rest of her life, but Rachel didn't care. She would be turning five in just under four months and she couldn't believe it. Her fathers had been the proudest grandparents she had ever known. They had photograph after photograph of their little pixie-star hung up on all the walls. They had several in their wallets and had to show them to everyone they met; the milkman, the postman, the check out kid at the store, waiters...just any person they came into contact with. Rachel knew her little girl would be loved, but she never thought that same little girl would grow up in a house with two women as the parents. If Quinn stuck around that long of course. Still, Rachel knew not to dwell on that. There were certain thoughts she had trained herself not to think about too often or not at all. One of them, though, she couldn't help but think about: would Quinn ever leave her again? She promised her she wouldn't, but with Louis's death she had learned not to take anything for granted. Instead of wondering the 'ifs' and 'possibilities' she was going to live everyday as it came.

With a soft smile on her face she had been watching Quinn wake up Heidi with tickles on her belly and raspberries and kisses on her face and neck. She had laughed quietly as she watched Penguin and Humphrey the Elephant being turned into weapons as she smacked them across Quinn's head and body, mostly her arms as she tried to protect themselves. One of her favourite sounds in the world was her little Heidi's laughter and with Quinn, she was sure it would be the most heard sound in the house. Now Rachel watched the two of them play with Heidi's little animal creatures – after making her big girl bed of course. Quinn was amazing with her. For each different animal she spoke in a different animal voice and came up with fun adventures. At one stage Quinn wasn't Quinn, but was actually Quinncess the Horsey and had Heidi riding on her back, giggling and shouting orders as Quinncess galloped around the Heidi sized bedroom. It was at that moment that Princess Pixie-star Heidi saw Rachel. "Mommy look, Quinn's a horse!" She called over and Rachel knew her cover had been blown. She got down on all fours and crawled over to her two favourite girls and made Heidi sit on top of them both. "She's not a horse Heidi," Rachel told her, grinning at Quinn who had no idea what she was going to say. "She's a unicorn!" At the outburst of Quinn's 'true identity' Heidi gasped and clambered off her mommy and 'unicorn' and she sat in front of Quinn. Her little hands took hold of Quinn's cheeks and she began to stroke them. "You're right mommy," she told Rachel, still looking at Quinn's beaming face, "Quinn is a unicorn! A magical unicorn!" Rachel chuckled again and lifted her little pixie up off the pink bedroom floor. "And do you want to know what mommy is?" She asked, turning her daughter around in her arms. With wide eyes Heidi nodded. Quinn stood up and placed her hand on the tiny girl's pink onesie pyjama covered back. "Mommy is a Pegasus!" She exclaimed and caused Heidi to gasp in the same dramatic way Rachel would. "And both Magic Unicorn and Mommy Pegasus need to be fed other wise they can't take you on special, magical adventures." Quinn told her and soon enough they were 'flying' down the stairs and sat at the breakfast table.

Later on that day whilst Rachel was helping Heidi with her letters, Quinn called her mom, having seen that she had rung whilst she was helping Rachel make lunch. She didn't want to be away from the two girls for long and therefore wanted to make the phone call as short as possible, however having said that she had barely seen her mom. She spent most of her time at Rachel's. She would sleep at Rachel's house and play with Heidi at Rachel's and eat dinner at Rachel's with her fathers...in fact she hadn't seen her mom since before New Year's Eve and that had been a whole week away! As she listened to the dial tone ring, Quinn felt suddenly bad about her absence and sighed deeply as she knew she was going to have to make a special effort to see her mother. Soon enough the line was picked up and infamous cheerful, yet overly clipped voice of Judy Fabray was blasted through the earpiece of her cellphone.

"Hello?" She sounded flustered and Quinn realised she must have just caught her mom as she was in the shower or the bath tub. Smiling at the concentrating face Heidi was making as she try to remember what cam after 'F' in the alphabet, Quinn began to speak to her mom; "Hey mom," she began with a little chuckle as she focused a little more than she should on Heidi's furrowed brow. "It's me," she clarified and heard her mother's exasperated sigh. It sounded like a relief sigh and Quinn rolled her eyes slightly as she could just visualise her mother sinking into the couch in the living room. "Quinn where on Earth have you been!" She asked with a slight shriek and Quinn sighed a little as she too changed her standing position. So she didn't get too distracted by her girlfriend and the little girl she loved just as much she turned her back walked out of the living room to go and lean against the breakfast table. Yet she was never far from her two favourite Berrys because as her mother was ranting about how she wished she had spent New Years Eve with her and spent time with her from then to today, Quinn heard the cheerful shouts as Heidi finished reciting the alphabet and was now being – what she guessed by the sounds of her and her mother's playful laughter – spun around in the other room. Quinn wished she could rush back into the living room and join in the celebrations, but she promised her mom a phone call so she was getting a phone call.

Sighing slightly heavier than she wanted to, Quinn interrupted her mom's little rant. "Mom I'm sorry I haven't seen much of you-" But she was cut off by her mother slightly shrieking once again. "Much of me? Quinn you've been living back with me since late October and since you and Rachel began hanging out once again I have barely seen you!" Once again Quinn rolled her eyes at her mother's dramatics. "Mom I've been busy okay? And besides you have seen me. You're being irrational and over-dramatic, you just haven't seen me much since New Years Eve." The line went quiet, and Quinn could hear her mom groan a little as she realised just how overly dramatic she was being. "Well I suppose you are right," she admitted quietly and albeit reluctantly. Before Quinn could began talking again, her mom jumped in sounded a lot more like her usual self: sparklingly happy and glitteringly breezy. "Listen, Quinn why don't you and Rachel come round for brunch on Sunday after church?" Suddenly Quinn sat up as straight as she could force her body. Her eyes boggled out of her head as she took in what her mom was suggesting. "Y..you want Rachel and I to come for brunch?" Stuttering she asked, "As in together?" She swallowed hard and tried to think of an excuse as to why they couldn't go. It wasn't that she didn't want her mom to see her and Rachel together. She did. But she just didn't want her father to see her with Rachel.

Even though her mom and dad had been back together since Quinn and Rachel were half way through their junior year, she had rarely seen him. Yes she had been living back at home officially since October and had stayed there during the summer after she had discovered her (soon to be) ex-husband cheating on her, she hadn't seen much of her father. Since returning home she had obviously eaten dinner with her parents, but neither her father nor her had any real conversation. It helped that he spent most of his time at work or out of the state on 'work' affairs. This Sunday's brunch could mean that her father would see Quinn with her ex (and now real) girlfriend again. She really didn't want a confrontation. She didn't want a problem. She didn't want to upset Rachel. Her mother wasn't a problem. She didn't care about Quinn's relationship with Rachel. She had told her numerous times that she was so glad she and Rachel were giving their relationship another go. Still her mom would never invite Rachel round without her father being in the house. If her father ever knew about her relationship with Rachel, he would probably disown her faster than a heartbeat. She had already been close to being never having parents again after getting pregnant, and she didn't want it to happen again. She would always have her mom, but having two parents was important: it's what she and Rachel wanted to give Heidi.

As these thought of what could happen should her father ever find out about her relationship with Rachel – her second relationship – she heard her mom begin to talk to her again. "Quinn I know why you've gone so quiet." Quinn sighed and ran a hand down her face slowly as she let out her worried, concerned breath. "You do?" She asked and pulled out a chair so she could sink into it. She propped her elbow up on the table and listened to her mom once again. "Your father won't be there. If you girls come at eleven your father would be out at an indoor tennis and not back until the late afternoon, possibly until the evening." Of course her father would be out! How could she have forgotten? Her mother had informed her when she moved back in during the summer that her father had taken up regular sports for his Sunday after church. Since being back at home Quinn hadn't gone to church much. She opted instead to be with Rachel, Heidi and the proud grandpas. Her nerves suddenly melted away as she realised this brunch would be okay after all. "All right mom," she smiled, hearing Rachel talk to Heidi and praise her on how well she was doing with her letters and numbers and all the other things she was learning. "Rachel and I will be there, can we bring Heidi?" She asked, biting down on her lip. She was a little surprised that her mom hadn't mentioned bringing Heidi first. Of course her mother said it was a given that Heidi was coming and they finished up the conversation with a set time of getting there for ten thirty – not sure if their little pixie could handle being kept away from breakfast for too long – and with the mother and daughter saying their 'I love you' to each other, before making her way back to Rachel and Heidi.

Wearing a loving and excitable grin on her face Quinn walked back into the living room. As soon as she entered her legs were being taken captive by a pair of little arms. "Quinn! Quinn!" Heidi gushed looking up at the blonde with her big brown eyes, "I learned all my letters! And my numbers! And my days of the week and the months of the year!" Quinn gasped at her amazing learning and held her by her waist, hoisting her up into her arms. She held her on her hip, allowing the little wriggling girl to put her arms around her neck, and carried her over to Rachel who was sat on the floor by the coffee table clearing away Heidi's kindergarten things. "Well I think all that learning requires for a special treat." Rachel's head jutted up as she heard Quinn mention a treat. "And what treat would that be?" She asked, raising her eyebrow up at her girlfriend. Quinn chuckled lowly and lowered herself and Heidi down next to the older brunette. "Nothing too sugary or tiring," the blonde assured her, "My mom actually invited the three of us round for brunch on Sunday." At the mention of Quinn's mother Rachel shot her head up at her girlfriend again. This time the sly look was completely gone and replaced with a look of pure shock and fear. She squeaked out a "What?" and Quinn took hold of her hands. She smiled softly at her and pulled her onto her lap, causing Heidi to giggle at their intimacy whilst she continued tidying away her learning things into a neat little folder and box.

Wrapping her loving hands around Rachel's stomach, Quinn rocked the worried brunette from side to side slowly, like she was on a ship. "Rachel it's okay," she soothed her, "It'll just be you, me, Heidi and my mom. My dad won't be there. I promise." She whispered her promise and kissed Rachel's clothed shoulder, wishing it was her skin instead. Trying to get rid of her anxieties, now knowing that the infamous Mr Fabray wasn't going to be at the brunch as well, Rachel settled back into Quinn's hold. She allowed her head to flop onto the blonde's shoulder and looked up at her, rubbing her thumbs over the soft skin of Quinn's hands still resting on her, holding her in place. "You're sure he won't be there?" She asked quietly, not wanting to worry about having to see him. Nodding her head Quinn hummed her reply; "Yes I promise he won't be there. My mom says he'll be at an indoor tennis game or something after church and won't be back until late." She rested her chin on Rachel's shoulder and kissed her neck. "I promise everything will be okay." She whispered again, kissing her one last time.

Once her fears were gone – as much as they were going to go – Rachel called Heidi over and sat her down on her lap. The three of them then began to play a game where they were a family of magical horses; Rachel a Pegasus, Quinn a unicorn and Heidi being a mixture of the two: a unipeg. When Rachel mentioned the special horse that was part unicorn and part Pegasus, Quinn suddenly wished that there was a feasible way in which the two of them could create a miniature themselves: part Rachel and part Quinn. Even though she had read about scientists all around the world were discovering ways of which two women could have a completely biological child together, but she knew it would be a very long time until it was possible. Even still, after Beth, Quinn wasn't even sure if she wanted another baby. Besides, Heidi would be enough for them both, she was sure. The trio played galloping around the house, Heidi taking turns on each woman's back, and then grazing outside in the snow – once they had fully wrapped themselves up in enough layers they may as well have been a winter clothing store – and finally snuggling up together in the special, magical and cosy stables together. Before they went asleep with 'foal' Heidi curled up between the two older women, they bathed in the special and magical pool. Quinn used her special bubble bath that her mom had bought her for Christmas for Heidi to use and together they built magical horsey towers with the bubbles. Rachel even allowed Heidi's dinner to be eaten up in 'the stables'. The three magical horses and the stable boys (grandpa and grandpappy) ate their Shabbat meal up in Heidi's bedroom with all of her toys.

With the little unipeg between her mommy and herself, Quinn gently stroked Heidi's hair and watched as Rachel slept. Even though they weren't technically hers, she knew she was going to take care of these two girls. She didn't care if her father never wanted to acknowledge her existence once he found out; she loved both of the girls and she never wanted to be apart from them. The games and love and late night snuggles were something she could definitely get used to and she wanted to do them for the rest of her life.

**This chapter was meant to be longer but I felt it would be better to split the chapter up :)**


	17. Meeting the Queen

**So I apologise for the very, very, very long wait. I wanted to write this straight after I'd written the previous chapter however I was just stuck and couldn't do it. I've planned up to Chapter Twenty Three so there's at least six more chapters..but probably more because I want to try and do thirty**

**Chapter Seventeen:**

**Meeting the Queen**

Nerves and being nervous is a very bizarre feeling. As a young performer, Rachel didn't really get nervous. She got 'butterflies' that made her feel ready to sing and dance (or act or spell or whatever else she was going to do). She was happy and excited about being in front of people and being the best. It wasn't until she was older did she realise that those 'friendly butterflies' were in fact nerves. Instead of being happy and excited she was filled with the fear of messing up and making an embarrassment of herself. She could hear Jesse St James tell her in that library how he remembered being nervous and Rachel would agree with him now as she was older, that once you have done something long enough you no longer get nervous. It was strange how different situations could make a person nervous. She had always liked meeting new people and being sociable but that had all changed in the last few years. She had of course met Quinn's mother before and felt nervous but this was a whole new range of nerves.

Rachel had been awake since six o'clock dreading about the brunch she was going to have later that day. Instead of just laying in bed she had gotten mundane household chores done and had even run to the store to grab a carton of milk and some bread. Her worries had been driving her because when she crawled back into bed – back in her pink pyjamas – it was only seven thirty. Sighing at the clock, she pulled her duvet up to her chin and continued to think. She lay in her bed with Quinn sleeping beautifully by her and chewed her lip, her eyebrows curved in a way that reflected her worries. In all honesty she wasn't quite sure why she was so nervous. Quinn's dad wouldn't be there and Heidi was going to be on her best behaviour and Judy was going to be as wonderful as ever. So why was she so scared? "Don't worry so much baby," she heard Quinn muffle. Her deep brown eyes looked down and saw those tired, yet sparkling, hazel green eyes staring up at her. Rachel could tell she was still hanging onto sleep but it warmed her heart to know that Quinn was ignoring it for her.

With a small smile Rachel leaned down and pecked Quinn's lips. "How did you know I was worried?" She asked, her lips barely parted from Quinn's. Those lips puckered and kissed Rachel's and her hand came up to her cheek and cupped it, rubbing her thumb softly over her light tanned cheek that was surprisingly to her a little cold. "I can tell," she whispered and then she cradled Rachel's head and brought it down to rest on her chest. The blonde rested her chin on top of Rachel's apple smelling hair and held her close to her. Rachel snuggled up to her and exhaled heavily, trying to release all of her worries in that one breath. "Do you want talk about it?" Quinn asked, trying to ease Rachel's irrational fears as much as possible. And there was one cure she knew would work with Rachel now and that was talking.

Breathing in Quinn's delicious, warm, fruity scent, Rachel shrugged and mumbled that she didn't know if she wanted to. Smiling at her cute little mumble Quinn chuckled and pressed another comforting kiss to her forehead. "May I suggest that you do?" This time Rachel huffed slightly angrily and Quinn had to bite down on her lips to make sure she didn't laugh. "I just want this brunch to go perfectly." She sighed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "It needs to." Quinn frowned and began to gently run her thumb over Rachel's pyjama covered shoulder. "What do you mean by 'perfectly'? What are so worried about? It's just my mom." She reasoned, although she knew she was only working Rachel up to tell her exactly what was wrong. Huffing again Rachel broke free of Quinn's koala bear hug and sat up, facing her on her knees. "Exactly! We're having brunch with you mother. I know that she's changed a lot and I saw that when I went over that time a few months ago but this time it's different. She's meeting Heidi. My little girl and I just..." Her eyes were wide and unfocused and Quinn raised her eyebrows at her. She knew her girlfriend was just trying to find an excuse and once again she used her favourite excuse: Heidi. Trying to calm her, Quinn took hold of Rachel's hands and brought herself to her knees too.

Beaming her comforting smile at Rachel, Quinn shook her head. "Darling you are worrying over nothing." Before Rachel could argue, Quinn continued, "Once again you are trying to get out of something that you're slightly uncomfortable with and using your number one weapon," softening her smile she tugged on Rachel's hands, "You need to stop using your beautiful, wonderful, charming little girl to get out things. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to her." Shaking her head and closing her eyes momentarily, Rachel laughed; "My daddy used that same excuse the night we met up again." Even though she wasn't looking at her – as her eyes were currently focused on the pattern of her duvet cover – she could tell Quinn was shaking her head at her. "Then I really think you should take our advice," taking one hand off of Rachel's she brought it up and cupped Rachel's chin so she would look at her. "Seriously Rachel why are you so scared?" Her voice was hushed and understanding, trying once again to get Rachel to open up.

Staring into her hazel-green eyes, Rachel tried to think. She tried to understand what is was she was so scared about. Why was she so nervous? It was only Quinn's mom. She had met up with her before and everything had been fine. She had practically been hugged by the woman and she already knew about Louis so really there was no need to be worried. As for the matter of Russell being there, she had been reassured that he wouldn't show up. Quinn had told her that he took his sport almost as seriously as his business and therefore shouldn't be there. Was she really just scared for no reason? She wasn't scared that Heidi wouldn't have fun because as long as she had her colouring books there was no way she would be tired or want to go home. Shrugging once again she smiled sheepishly at her wonderful girlfriend and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her. "I'm just being silly," she confessed with a final sigh. Agreeing with her, Quinn smiled and pressed a kiss to her neck, "Yeah you are silly. But wonderful all the same."

At ten twenty seven, the three of them stood outside the large Fabray residence and were waiting. They hadn't knocked on the door yet because Rachel was still fussing over Heidi. The little girl had kicked off when she found out she wasn't going to be allowed to wear one of her princess dresses. "But mommy we're seeing the Queen!" Standing on her big girl bed she shouted. Dressed in nothing but her baby pink panties, white vest and white socks and with her hair in her classic pigtails, she had bunched her fists up by her sides and stomped her foot. "I know we're seeing the Queen darling," Rachel sighed, and trying to ignore her dad's giggling from outside the door, "But you can't wear your princess dress." She had been crouched on the floor holding out an adorable dress her daddy had bought Heidi for Thanksgiving – a white long sleeved cotton dress with a blue petticoat decorated with tiny pink flowers and a tiny orange owl on the pocket – and was trying to coax the little girl into it. Heidi crossed her arms in front of her and she frowned at her mother. Her little face scrunched up and she banged her foot again. "No mommy I want to wear my Belle dress." She had been keeping a close eye on the time and was getting ready to call for back up: Quinn. "Heidi you cannot wear your Belle dress, it is too cold." As she spoke she stood up and towered over her little pixie. Her little star looked up at her, still frowning but with a slight quivering. "But I can wear my bubble jacket and my mittens at hat so I won't be cold."

"That's a very sensible thing to say but you still cannot wear the dress. You can wear it another time." The two brunettes went back and forth for another few minutes until Rachel gave up. She picked up Heidi and put her onto the floor. Whilst her little girl was squirming and protesting, Rachel put the girl in her dress and then her black patent shoes. Within ten minutes her little pixie-stare was dressed and almost ready to go. She had sulked on the way and Quinn, being the push over, promised her they would play princess once they got home. Rachel had rolled her eyes at her but thanked her getting Heidi to stop being in a mood.

Just as Rachel was smoothing down Heidi's hair again, the door opened and the aroma of Judy Fabray's baking smacked them all in their faces. "Hello there girls!" She greeted in an almost piercing high pitch voice and bright smile. Quinn it's so good to see you at last!" She joked, pulling her daughter to her chest and squeezing her. Heidi suddenly felt very scared of the woman and not only gripped onto her mother's hand tighter, she hid herself behind her. She of course had never been in the presence of a Queen before and she wasn't sure what to do. However, she had learned through her story books, films and cartoons, that she had to wait to be introduced. She only hoped the Queen liked her because she didn't want her head to be chopped off. Rachel looked down at her and smiled, trying to make her feel better, but the little girl just looked down at her shiny snow covered shoes. "Mom you're squishing me!" Quinn complained and pushed herself away from her mother's grasp. She shook her head and playfully scowled at her mother. As Quinn was doing so, Judy looked to Rachel and made a move to hug her too, however she stopped moving as she saw the tiny little girl cowering behind her. "Hello Judy, it's good to see you again." Rachel greeted and looked at her, still holding onto Heidi's hand but trying to slowly ease her out of her hiding place. Eyes lighting up, Judy clapped her hands in front of her. "I thought you brought a little Princess with you, girls?" She asked, trying to make Heidi comfortable. Rachel smiled thankfully at her. Frowning at her mother's question slightly, Quinn was about to say that they did bring 'a little princess' but just as she was looking to Rachel's direction, she saw the princess in question clinging onto her mommy.

Little Heidi stared up at the Queen and held her breath. Seeing Her Royal Highness, she wished she had brought something. Her mommy and Quinn had brought flowers and a carton of fancy orange juice, but the Queen should have more than that! She was a Queen! The Queen needed jewels and dressed and horse drawn carriages. Perhaps she should draw her a picture of a castle and carriage being pulled by a unicorn, a Pegasus and a baby unipeg. Behind her mommy she smiled at her idea, and then felt her mom gently nudge her out from behind her so she was standing in front of her. "Heidi, sweetheart," her mom began, speaking just as softly and gently, "This is Quinn's mommy, Judy. Judy, this is Heidi, my daughter." Rachel introduced although she was sure that the older blonde knew who exactly their tiny guest was. The now named Queen Judy knelt down to Heidi and smile brightly, showing her teeth and put her hand on Heidi's padded shoulder. "Hello there Heidi," she greeted, the small girl and squeezed her shoulder slightly. Heidi smiled but tried to keep it small so not to show too much of her excitement – it was obvious she had inherited her mother's mega-watt smile! Shaking her hand out of her mommy's, Heidi held out her skirt and in a bright, adorable voice said, "It's a pleasure to meet you your highness," before curtsying as low as she could, bowing her head. The three woman laughed at her adorable greeting and Rachel even giggled behind her own gloved hand. The tiny brunette straightened herself and her eyes looked up at her mom to make sure she did the right thing. Smiling down at her wonderful child, Rachel wrapped her arm around her and pulled her close.

Judy stood back up and smoothed her skirt down. "Well now, Heidi you look like a little girl who likes to eat muffins!" At the mention of one of her favourite foods, Heidi beamed and nodded her head, but before she could start jumping up and down with delight at the thought of eating home-made muffins, Heidi simply nodded her head and tried to curtsy again. "I like muffins your majesty!" She tried not to squeal but her excitement was just too much. Chuckling, Judy moved aside and told the girls to come in before they froze. The aroma of warm, freshly baked muffins filled their noses the moment they stepped through the door but before they (Heidi) could eat any, their coats, hats, scarves and gloves had to be removed. Once all outdoor gear had been hung up, Rachel then took Heidi by the hand and took her to the nearest bathroom so she could wash the little girl's hands. Once again, Heidi kurtsied as they made they way though the hall and to the bathroom. Walking to the downstairs bathroom, Heidi took in all of her surroundings. The house was one of the biggest homes she had ever seen! Entering the hall she had gasped and craned her neck back to look at how tall the ceilings were and then down to see how shiny the floors were. The palace was like the house she went to on New Years Eve, only this was better because she knew the Queen who lived in it! "Look mommy! It's Quinn!" She announced, pointing to a painting of a younger Quinn with her mother and father – the King and Queen. Rachel stopped to look at it but gave the family portrait a sad smile. It was clear that she was a mere fifteen or sixteen years old. Even though it was a painting and not a photograph, Rachel could still see the cold sadness that glossed over her beautiful hazel-green eyes. She may not have been pregnant yet, but she was certainly bearing the burden of trying to be 'the perfect daughter'. Turning back to her own daughter Rachel smiled and tugged her along with a promise of the sooner their hands were clean, the sooner their tummies would be full of muffins.

From inside the kitchen, Judy turned to Quinn and held out a jug of the orange juice so she could take it to the dining room table. "You are absolutely correct Quinn," she commented, looking for the booster seat in the pantry she kept for when Quinn's sister came to visit with her own young children. She hadn't realised Rachel's daughter would be so small, but then again she shook her head internally thinking she should have known judging by the woman's own height. Quinn looked over at her mother with a quizzical look; "What am I correct about?" She asked, mocking her mother's tone with her question. Finding the blue seat with little white stars decorated on it, Judy stood up and mock glared at her grown up daughter. "Heidi is absolutely adorable!" She declared and her heart melted when she saw the adored, pleased and proud look on Quinn's face. "I know," Quinn replied softly, "She's perfect. She's the exact same as her mom: cute and tiny and just so..." She trailed off with a joyful smile and a far away look in her eye. Judy smiled at her and felt familiar butterflies in her stomach. The look her youngest daughter was wearing now was the look she had always dreamed her daughter would have. It was the look princesses wore and teenagers in love had. Her daughter was in love, not only with Rachel but with Heidi as well. There was absolutely no part of her that wasn't happy for her. Her daughter was in love and she was too happy for her. Walking over to her daughter, she wrapped her up in an awkward one arm hug. "I do have one question for you," she said, squeezing her daughter slightly, "Why does she keep on kurtsying and calling me 'Your Majesty'?" Quinn giggled and moved herself away from her mother so she didn't spill the juice on her. "She thinks you're the queen," With a bright smile and a giggle she told her, "I'm Princess Quinn and because you're my mom you're the Queen." Brightly smiling once again, Judy shook her head. "Oh to be tiny and full of stories!"

The spread Judy had laid out was nothing short of a banquet to the small girl. Gasping at the sight of delicious muffins in baskets, orange juice, chopped up fruit, bacon (for Quinn) and toast in little triangular shapes with different things to put on it, Heidi couldn't wait to befriend the Queen more. "I've got the little princess her own little throne!" Came a voice from behind her and she twisted her body round to see the Queen carrying a booster seat. For a moment Rachel looked a little horrified: she had forgotten to pack Heidi's table booster seat, somehow! It wasn't until she felt Quinn take hold of Heidi's tiny hand and lead her over to the 'throne' that she realised it wasn't that big a deal. Or, it was probably because of the little wink Quinn had sent her. Heidi felt very privileged to sit in a 'prince's' booster seat. So much so that she didn't even mind she was sitting in a blue booster seat instead of a pink one. Quinn had cut her up a muffin and poured her a glass of orange juice and she set to work multitasking between eating the blueberry muffin, sipping from her (thankfully pink) cup and drawing her picture for Queen Judy. Her little tongue stuck out from the corner of her mouth and her little eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. She wanted the drawing to be perfect; she was after all in the company of 'royalty' of course!

Discreetly holding Quinn's hand under the table, Rachel engaged fully in the conversation with Judy. She had sat next to the older of the two Fabrays (who was at the head of the table) and tried not to look over to her daughter and her girlfriend. The two were discussing what colour to draw the horses in the picture and giggling at the suggestions of what they should called them. Rachel could watch the two interact for the rest of her life, but for now she would be content with feeling her girlfriend's thumb running over the back of her hand. "So Rachel," Snapping her thoughts from her little daydream of watching the two loves of her life giggle, Rachel turned to Judy. Finishing sipping her coffee, Judy looked to Rachel and continued; "Quinn tells me that you received a thunderous applause when you sang 'Auld Lang Syne' at the New Years Eve party." Her eyebrow raised in the same manor Quinn's did when she finished. Rachel watched as the woman watched her and tried to think of a reply. It was true, she hadn't heard a round of appreciation after she had sung like that in a long time. But she didn't want to put ideas into her head: or more specifically she didn't want any ideas already planted in Quinn's head to grow further. "Yes the people there did clap quite loudly, and they did appear to enjoy it but.." Her eyes slid over to Quinn's and she could see her girlfriend was waiting with slightly bated breath to hear her continue. "I don't think anyone should get used to it. In not ready to sing again like that in a while." Finishing her little part, emphasising to Quinn how she felt, Rachel did what she was best at when engaging a conversation she didn't want to have. "Judy, Quinn doesn't tell me much about you," It was a simple statement and almost one hundred percent true. Quinn really didn't talk much about her mother and Rachel thought it was best Judy spoke rather than trying to get Rachel to talk to her about why she no longer wanted to sing in public – or at all.

Feeling slightly defeated, Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand to let her know she was there. Of course it was obvious she was there, it was still nice for them to remind each other every one in a while. It once again just showed how much they loved and cared for one another. With a little laugh Judy shook her head, "She probably doesn't tell you much because there isn't much to tell!" Her eyes then went to Heidi, who's tongue must have been desert dry because of how long it had been stuck out of her mouth due to the concentration on her picture. Leaning forward slightly, Judy beamed at Heidi. It had been so long since Quinn had to entertain toddlers and young children. Heidi was four and so Judy would talk to her a little more grown up than a toddler, but she was Rachel Berry(Dexter)'s daughter. The tiny girl may have looked about three years old but her vocabulary was far beyond that. "Tell me Heidi, what's your favourite thing in the whole world?" She asked her with bright eyes and lots of expectant intonation. Heidi paused her colouring for a moment and looked up at 'Queen' Judy. Her little eyebrows furrowed as she thought what her answer would be. Beside her Quinn chuckled, "Come on mom you must have figured it out!" She laughed again and picked up the red crayon by her plate and waved it slightly in front of her mother's face. "Quinn it's rude to shake objects at people," her mother scolded but kept most of her focus on the little girl. Said young girl let out a little gasp, signalling that she had realised what her favourite thing in the whole world was. "I love to draw, your Majiesty!" She announced, her little eyes suddenly growing into large excitable orbs. Her little legs began to kick and her arms flailed about as she described in great detail all of her recent pictures.

Listening to her daughter and Judy talk, Rachel rested her suddenly sleepy head on Quinn's shoulder. Although the conversation was being taken right across from them, due to the positioning of their seats, Rachel was still able to hold some small ounce of privacy as she whispered; "I think your mom really likes her." With a smirking grin on her face, Quinn rested the top of her own head and whispered, "I knew she would." The two of them played with the other ones fingers under the table and occasionally Quinn would press her lips to the top of Rachel's head.

Their brunch was going extremely well. Better than Rachel thought. The four of them munched on muffins and slurped on coffee and juice and had also drawn pictures worthy for the most prestigious art galleries in the world – according to the three grown ups. Unfortunately, like every beautiful summer, as it were, there had to be a storm of some sort. For the three women and one little girl, that storm came in the form of Russell Fabray, back from his indoor tennis match. Heidi was sat in Rachel's lap and showing off to Judy how she could say her whole alphabet without skipping any letters or messing up on any. As soon as Heidi had cleared her throat to begin Judy was tearing up, remembering her own little Frannie and Quinnie reciting their memorised alphabets. Rachel was holding the little girl by her waist, occasionally tickling her tummy so she would laugh, to which Quinn would yell "Cheater!" and would squeeze her knee – her own ticklish spot. Now she was holding Rachel, her arm around her shoulder and her fingers making little patterns on her cardigan. "This bit is the hard part," Heidi warned as she cleared her throat once again and nodded her head, as if she was a gymnast and eyeing up her apparatus. "J..K..L..M..N..O..P-" Suddenly the front door was heard being slammed against the wall and a heavy sigh was heard, followed by a bellow.

Rachel's heart stopped. She actually felt it stop and she was sure that all the colour had just been drained from her face. Over and over in head was chanting; "She promised he wouldn't be here! She promised he wouldn't be here!" Of course, now there was nothing she or any one else at the table could do. Her motherly instinct kicked in and her arms wrapped around her child, holding her tighter than before. Judy rose just as the door to the dinning room swung open and revealed a sweaty, aged, tired looking Russell Fabray. "That idiot Michigan cheated! He cheated! How can you sprain your ankle doing absolutely nothing!" He had barely registered that his wife wasn't alone, having only focused on the muffin on her plate and growling at the wall in anger and frustration. It wasn't until he heard a gasp from the table did he realise. Almost spinning around like a dancer, Russell found the source to the interruption in his paused rant. His eyes focused on Heidi's and for a split second thought it was his bastard grandchild. Why else would there be a child at his table that he did not recognise? His eldest – perfect – daughter had two sons and this child was clearly a girl. But then, just before he was about pick it up and throw it out of his house, his brain did the math and realised that it would be impossible for this girl to be the bastard Quinn gave up. For starters this girl looked to be about three years old. Second, she was a brunette and had very pale olive skin. Where it was possible the bastard could have just inherited the looks from its father – that good for nothing Mohawk Jewish boy – but surely there would be some resemblance to his daughter. It was as if he was suffering from tunnel vision as he didn't notice the mother of the child until the girl spoke.

"You're the King!" She announced, pointing out to him and smiling at him. Throughout the course of the brunch the young girl's formality had diminished because of the kindness the Queen showed to her. If the Queen was so nice and Quinn was so nice then surely the King must be too. Even if he did look a little mad. Russell stared at the girl wondering what on Earth she was talking about. Then he saw the other girl. And his daughter. Rage built up inside of him once more as he stalked over to the table. As he did, Heidi began to babble. "I love your castle!" She told him, trying to squirm out of her mother's arms so she could greet him properly; according to her, he deserved

the same amount of respect she had shown the Queen. However her mommy was stopping her. "Heidi settle down and be quiet," Rachel instructed. She wanted to look over at Quinn, but couldn't. She just couldn't take her eyes away off Russell. The man in question turned to his wife; "Judy why is this woman here with her...daughter?" Although he hadn't said one of the names he used to call her, it still hurt to be called 'this woman'. It was clear that he recognised her. How could he forget her. As soon as his eyes met hers he knew exactly who she was. Rachel Berry, the girl who turned his daughter into a..well he couldn't say it. Although the two men who raised her still lived in the town, he had heard she had gone to New York City. She and Quinn were not friends, he had made sure of that. Why was she here?

Clearing her throat slightly, Judy tried to refocus herself as 'Perfect Wife of Russell Fabray'. For once it was nice to be 'Mother of Quinn' and entertain a young woman with her little girl and have fun with her daughter. Of course, nothing changes even after a temporal separation, a renewal of vows and countless hours of talking with a marriage counsellor. "Darling this is Rachel Berry-Dexter," she told him in her typical housewife tone. "You remember her?" She had walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. To the outside world it was a gesture of love, to her, she was merely feeling how tense her husband was. Her husband had narrowed his eyes at Rachel. "Dexter?" He asked, frowning slightly, unsure as to where the additional name had come from. It was then he saw her ring and the two pieces of the puzzle fit together: she was married. If she was married and had a daughter, then that means that he was right. He was right in saying that the Berry girl was just trying to lead Quinn astray. He was right, of course he was, he was Russell Fabray and he was always right. His puzzled frown changed into one of a smug smirk. "Rachel Berry-Dexter," he repeated, placing his hands on the table, "What a pleasant surprise to see you here. And I am assuming this is your daughter?" He asked, nodding to the little girl still being held in Rachel's lap.

At the smirk her father was giving Rachel, Quinn growled lowly and clenched her fists together. She knew that look. It was a look he always wore whenever he 'won' something: a game, an argument, even just getting the time right without looking at the clock whenever someone asked. The only difference was he was smirking at Rachel with a difference purpose. He thought he was right about something he knew nothing about and she was going to take great delight in proving him wrong. Holding Heidi tightly, Rachel cleared her throat. "Yes, this is my daughter Heidi." Somehow Heidi managed to get out of her mom's strong hold and she stood up on her legs. She beamed at Russell and was able to curtsy with a little wobble. "My name is Heidi Clara Berry-Dexter and it is a pleasure to meet you Your Majesty," she held her little dress out and tried to bow, but Quinn picked her up before she fell and placed her back into her mother's lap. Russell scoffed at the tiny girl and almost ignored her. What a silly child the Berry girl had created. Still he had to humour her if he was to be confirmed of his suspicions. "Well," his lips twitched almost changing into a smile, "What a..delightful name." Rachel once again not only heard but felt Quinn growl next to her. She wanted her to hold her hand and she to hold hers, but with Mr Fabray watching her in the way he was, she couldn't. Oblivious to the tension in the room, Heidi beamed again. "Thank you your Majesty!" She couldn't believe that the King and Queen were so nice and that the king himself had complimented her name. She like her name a lot more now. Not that she didn't like it before, but now that two – three counting Quinn – members of a royal family had said they liked her name.

Again at the strange form of address, Russell scoffed and then sat down. His wife hurriedly took her plate – wiping it with a serviette first – and filled it will some toast and muffin as well as filling a glass with juice. He took a quick sip of the drink and then flickered his eyes to his daughter. "Hello Quinn," he greeted and in return he received a raised eyebrow and scowling eyes. "I had no idea you two were acquaintances after all these years." He brought the glass to his lips again and smirked as he drank. His daughter wasn't a sinner. He knew that she was normal and now he would watch her see that he was right all along. His gaze turned once again to Rachel and he could see that the little girl was squirming. "Rachel, why don't you let the child down. She can play or draw in the living room whilst we..catch up?" Although he was stating a request he knew was going to be granted, his inflection was still one of a question. With women he knew he had to make them believe that they were the ones with all the answers. Briefly Rachel's dark brown eyes looked over to Judy – who nodded – and then to Quinn's; the eyes that belonged to the one whose opinion really mattered. Her hazel-green eyes were slightly wide, but she nodded anyway. The three women could tell that this calm was going to transpire into a storm once Quinn and Rachel let it known to the man seated with them that they were in fact in a romantic relationship. Russell Fabray may like to think he knew all the answers, but they all knew he was wrong. And Quinn was going to enjoy watching him fail at something once again.

Nodding he head and smiling at Heidi, Rachel put her down on the ground and instructed her to take her backpack and head into the living room so she could draw and play with the toys she had brought. With a little skip the young girl went out of the room, not before turning around to wave at each grown up and another curtsey to her new found royal friends. Once she had bounded out of the room, Russell's eyes grew more smug. "Tell me about your husband Rachel," rather bluntly he asked. He wasn't going to tiptoe around this any more: he knew the truth and now he wanted to hear it from the horse's mouth. Even though there was no possible way that he could know about Rachel being a widow, Quinn still felt her anger bubble up inside of her. Louis was possibly the most touchy subject to her and she never wanted to have the girl upset especially by her own father. Visibly Rachel gulped and her eyes looked down at her lap. Quinn was straining once again not to take hold of Rachel. They had talked about Louis countless times and Quinn no longer felt guilty about taking his place and Rachel's guilt about still being in love with Quinn whilst they were married, was slowly decreasing with every passing day they were together. Both women were taking deep breaths to calm themselves: Rachel so she wouldn't cry and Quinn so she wouldn't yell at her father. Moments past and the brunette lifted her head and looked at Russell Fabray. "My husbnad has been dead for almost five years now, Mr Fabray," she told him quietly, her voice shaking only a little and Quinn beamed on the inside with how proud she was. The blonde looked at her father to gauge his reaction.

As a Christian he was almost obligated to say how sorry he was for her loss and to provide some sort of solace. However, Rachel Berry was not a woman he would want to say such things to for two reasons; she was Jewish and she had temporarily turned his daughter into a sinner. Still his face softened for mere eye blink, showing his Christian side for a moment, before he hardened into a smug once again. "I'm sorry to here that," he grumbled, clearing his throat. "Is that why you are now taking residence in Lima instead of living in New York?" He was again fishing for something. Any proof that she was a straight woman; it was possible she was dating a man. A good, charitable, kind yet pitying man would lend his hand to a woman with a young child. Rachel nodded her head; "Yes Mr Fabray," she replied softly, trying to calm her heart still. "I felt it best to move back in with my fathers for the time being. Although I do plan to buy my own house some day," her eyes discreetly looked to Quinn, "And continue to live with my own little family." To Russell, she was meaning being a single mother, to Quinn, she was basically saying she wanted to buy a house with her. Quinn allowed the smile to spread on her face and her hand was just itching to reach over and hold hers, possibly even kiss it (and her) in front of her father. The man nodded his head; "And are you still singing?" That was another topic that Rachel was uncomfortable with and by the way Russell spat it out, she knew he would still not approve. Her head shook again; "No I'm not. I actually work as a receptionist in a hotel." She wasn't comfortable with talking to the man, but she was in his house and she would answer his questions. He took another sip of his juice, nodding his head. "Yes, that is a much better career path to follow. Singing isn't really a career, especially in little plays, even in a city as world acclaimed as New York City. Perhaps, if you work hard like Quinn here, you could become some sort of manager." He took a bite of his toast and continue to nod his head, unaware of the twitching of his daughter's eye.

Standing just off the side from her husband, Judy had been watching her daughter with growing worry. As a sixteen year old, she was only able to show her feelings through raised eyebrows and polite sentences, until that night when they both found out about her pregnancy. Over the years since then, their little Quinnie had become a feisty, strong and fiercely protective woman. And she would scold anyone who would threaten the ones she loved. Right now, at this time, she loved that young woman sitting next to her and that little girl in the other room. She loved them both with all her heart and right now she could see that protective fire flaming through her eyes. Her husband was going to become a very angry man any moment now, it would just take one confession from both girls; namely her daughter Quinn.

"I suspect your job doesn't pay much?" Russell asked, taking yet another dig at the girl. Now it was nothing to do with him being right about her true sexual orientation, but now showing his daughter just what a true failure she was. "You're right it doesn't pay a lot, but I have kept my money from my singing in New York in two accounts: one Heidi and one for when I'm able to pick myself up again. I'm very grateful to my fathers for allowing me to live at home again without taking a penny from me." Russell's eyebrows frowned at her. He found it hard to believe that she had really made that much money simply from singing. But, she had been in New York and those types of _profession_s were paid rather highly. "How are you supposing to raise your child on a secretary wage?" He was enjoying himself, but as a gentlemen he wasn't going to laugh in her face quite so abruptly. He was going to be clever and cause the girl embarrassment. He wanted his revenge from all those years ago of what he did to his daughter.

Now Quinn thought it was the perfect opportunity to confess to her father the truth. She could feel the giddy feelings rise in her stomach already at the idea of seeing her father's face. Just as Rachel was about to answer – her cheeks having turned slightly red – Quinn leapt down her father's throat (as it were). "Actually father, I am going to help Rachel raise Heidi." Her little announcement stunned her father and he put his glass down with a thud. His eyes narrowed at her and he hissed; "What do you mean you are going to help her raise the girl?" This was it. This was the moment Quinn had waited for. With her own smug expression on her face, Quinn took hold of Rachel's hand and put their entwined fingers on the table in front of him. Her father frowned down at their hands and then up into the eyes of his daughter. Her eyebrow was raised and her lips were pursed as she told him; "I am in a relationship with this woman and I am in love with her and love her daughter as my own."

If there was ever an announcement that could give someone a heart attack it was that one. However instead of a heart attack, Russell Fabray simply turned as red as the strawberry jam his wife had put in a little glass bowl and thumped his fist, standing up and leaning over the table. His face was a vision of rage and Quinn could feel Rachel shaking. "Is this some sort of joke?" He bellowed, loud enough to make mountains shake and oceans to part. Rachel flinched at his volume and could feel herself wanting to cry. Instead of allowing tears to fall, she instead squeezed onto Quinn's hand more. Transferring her fear into Quinn and that fear transforming into anger. Quinn thumped her own fist. "Why would I joke about something so seriously true?" She asked trying to keep her tone as calm as possible. "I love her, dad. I have always loved her and never stopped!"  
>"Be quiet!" Russell yelled again and this time he kicked his chair and sent it clattering to the ground. Judy jumped and clutched her chest in shock fright. "You cannot love her Quinn, you cannot love her!" He continued to yell, this time clenching his fists and thumping them both onto the table. The force was so powerful that the glasses, mugs and plates rattled and the plastic cup that held Heidi's juice toppled and spilled onto the table cloth.<p>

His shouting continued to grow as he spat accusation after accusation, curse after curse at the pair but throughout it all, the two women held onto each other. It was a perfect moment for a scene, like Titanic. Rachel was Rose and Quinn was Jack and Russell was not only the iceberg but the below freezing whirlpool they were going to plunge into. They were clinging onto dear life. Rachel was scared and Quinn was protecting her. The only difference was that Rachel and Quinn were never going to let go. Never. Having heard the bad words and the loud noises from the other room, Heidi thought it best to investigate. She thought perhaps the King had stubbed his toe on a chair leg or of the table. She had laughed at her grandpa when he did that once. She knew it wasn't nice to laugh when someone was hurt but her didn't mind and he even let her pretend to be a doctor and put a bandage on it. And on his arm. And head. And put bandaids on his face. Being the nosey little girl she was, Heidi left her toys on the floor and wandered into the dinning room. As she walked in she saw Quinn was stood up and yelling at the King. "We have been in love with each other for years, years! Even after you split us up we loved each other. It's a miracle we have found each other again and I'm not letting go of her. Either of them!"

"I will not allow you to be in contact with this woman and her bastard child!"

"Heidi is not a bastard!" Quinn spat, feeling the urge to beat her father with the jug of water. "She is the most beautiful, smart and wonderful little girl in the world. Besides, Rachel and Louis were married when she was not only born but conceived."

"That's a step higher than your own bastard then!"

There was silence. It was thick and heavy and all three women stared at the fuming man in front of them. It was a low blow her father had hit. He and Judy hadn't uttered a word about Quinn's baby – he not even knowing the sex, let alone the name of the child – since they found out their daughter was pregnant. Quinn had even thought that he had forgotten she was even pregnant. Of course he hadn't and now she was being fired with it, like bullets. She was frozen. Eyes wide and heart paused. She couldn't believe it. She would not cry because she felt sad, she would bawl because of how angry he had made her feel. She could not believe that he had not only brought up Beth but had insulted Heidi too. Yes, Beth probably was a bastard in the old fashioned sense of the word, but she had seen her and knew her. She was remarkable and it was times like these she was so thankful she hadn't tried to raise her little girl herself; not in this household.

The little girl walked up to the King and tugged on his pant leg. None of the women had seen her until it was too late. With a bright smile she looked up at the giant of a man and asked; "Why are you making loud-" She couldn't finish her question because she was suddenly thrown to the ground. The collected gasp was enough to echo all the canyons in the world. Rachel was up on her feet faster than a heartbeat and by her daughter's side. As the tears and cries were coming she picked up her little girl and rocked her on her lap. Quinn was by her father's side and was about to throw a heavy punch at him, but Judy beat him to it. Instead of a punch she slapped him. "How dare you do that to a child!" She screamed, "An innocence child who only wanted to ask why you were shouting. Do you have no heart?"

"Of course he doesn't otherwise he wouldn't have turned his back on his own pregnant daughter!" Quinn yelled and wanted to hit him too, but instead she stood next to Rachel and helped her calm the girl. She wasn't hurt, just scared. Her father had merely swatted her away like he would to a dog or a fly, but because of her tiny feet and small size she fell with the force. "Mother we're leaving," Quinn told her and ushered her two girls out of the house, with her mother saying she would drop round Heidi's things later on and that she would take them to dinner too.

The car ride was almost silent. The only sounds that filled the air were the soft breaths from Heidi and the thick laboured ones from Quinn. Rachel's were somewhere in between. She felt so much pain, not just for herself but for her girlfriend and for her daughter. She was so lucky to have not just one but two fathers who loved her unconditionally. "Mommy? Quinn? Why was the king so scary?" Her thoughts were interrupted by the sweet sound of her daughter speaking. She turned around in her seat to give her a small smile. "He just got a little mad, that's all Pixie-star." She explained and heard Quinn grumble, "Yeah, like when you snapped your crayon a few weeks ago and you cried a little." Rachel looked back to Quinn and gave her a sympathetic smile. They were going to have to talk about what happened. But later. "But why didn't he just have a glass of milk?" Little Heidi's eyebrows were furrowed as she thought. Whenever she was having a temper tantrum, her mommy would put her in a quiet corner and wait for her calm down. Then, once she was calm, she would have a glass of milk. Rachel smile once again at her sweet daughter. Oh how she wished life would remain so simple for her. "Sweetheart sometimes grown ups don't think to have a glass of milk or juice and calm down."

"Yeah, some grown ups are jerks." Quinn mumbled, wanting to just hear it herself but Rachel heard her and the older brunette glared at her slightly. "Quinn," she scolded, but relaxed her facial expression and squeezed her thigh before holding her hand over the gear stick. "He scared me," Heidi admitted softly from the back seat.

Even though she barely heard it, Quinn suddenly felt herself fill with rage. Her father had scared that little girl. He had scared Rachel's little girl and she wouldn't have that. Without warning, she was pulling over and taking some deep breaths. "Quinn?" Rachel cooed, holding her hands in her lap due to Quinn now dragging her fingers through her blonde locks. She couldn't believe her father had now scared another little girl. He had scared her when she was sixteen, probably scared Rachel numerous times and now he had scared Heidi. She would have a serious word with that man about not scaring young girls. But for now she had something to do. She had to talk to Heidi. Unbuckling her seat belt, Quinn turned around in her seat and saw the look on that little girl's face. She couldn't work out if Heidi was just tired from all the shouting, scared from all the shouting or a mixture of both. Even so, she leaned over and put her hand on the young girl's cheek. It was a little warm, probably from where she was crying, and rubbed her thumb over the tear tracks that were still visible. Although she couldn't see her, she could feel Rachel watching her and she felt comforted to know that she wasn't going to have to repeat herself to her girlfriend later on. "Heidi," Quinn began softly and quietly, speaking as if it was only them in the world, "I am very sorry that he scared you." She swallowed, knowing that there was so much she wanted to say but because of Heidi's innocence and age she would have to just relent it all to Rachel in the privacy of the brunette's bedroom. "I promise from the bottom of my heart that I will make sure no one ever scares you again. I will make sure you and your mommy are safe and protected and loved and.." The tears were welling up in her eyes and she had to sniffle. Rachel had placed her hand on her back and rubbing little circles on it, which was making her want to burst into tears. What really made her become a waterfall was the little smile on Heidi's face and that she took Quinn's hand off her own cheek and held it to her chest in a little hug.

There in the car the three girls looked after each other. The littlest girl in the back of the car couldn't quite figure out why her mommy and Quinn were crying now, because she had stopped crying before, but she didn't mind. Judging by the smile her mommy was wearing when she kissed Quinn on the cheek, she assumed she was just crying because she was happy. Quinn was probably happy too, but she was trying to smile. Heidi continued to hug Quinn's hand, until the blonde unbuckled her and pulled her onto her lap in the front. Both her mommy and Quinn kissed her cheeks and head and rubbed her back until she drifted off into a nap. Quinn and Rachel however, looked at each other until both of their tears had subsided, and considering Quinn was driving, she couldn't take a nap as easily as the adorable little girl on her lap. "I love you Rachel," she whispered, looking into Quinn's eyes. "I love you so much I wonder why you're still with me." Sadly Rachel deflated a little but knew how to make this situation better. She hated seeing Quinn cry and she didn't want her crying again. Softly Rachel smiled back, cupping her cheek and then kissed her, "I love you so much too Quinn. I am with you because you are brave, courageous, protective..you take care of me and my daughter..why would I not want to be with you?" Sniffling Quinn tried to compose herself but her voice still cracked. "Because my father is a jerk." Rachel leaned over again and kissed Quinn's forehead. "It's a good thing I'm in love with you and not your father." They shared a smile and soon enough they were back on the road – with Heidi safely back in her seat and then, once they were home, the three of them slept in Rachel's bed for the rest of their nap.


	18. Naps Make Everything Better

**Hi everyone! So, I've started university now so these chapters might take a while to get posted (like this one was) but don't worry they will be posted! I can't forget about this story – or any of my others! So please stay tuned and give me some reviews! I only hear back from one or two people and it would be great to hear (read) what people think of my story(ies) particularly because I'm studying English Literature with Creative Writing! **

**Also, I have a new Word so I apologise if it's all scrunched together **

**Enjoy! **

**Chapter Eighteen:**

**Naps Make Everything Better**

How could their day have gone so badly? How could a simple brunch go from turning into a nightmare? They couldn't understand it. Everything was going perfectly. For lack of a better expression, their calm day really had turned into an almighty hurricane and none of them wanted to brave the waters again for a long time.

When the three girls had come back from their turned awful brunch, they settled into Rachel's bed to try and clear their heads of what had just happened. Hiram and Leroy would be back from their day together before dinner and they wanted to not let their anger from the morning be as present as it was at the moment. The rest of the ride was quiet; Rachel stroking the back of Quinn's head, and Quinn sighing every few minutes. Now, where Quinn was too angry to speak, Rachel hummed to them. They both had their ways of dealing with the anger and sadness they were feeling: Quinn to be silent and Rachel to hum.

Heidi had fallen into a deep sleep in the car during their cuddle and hadn't woken since. Neither of the women thought she would wake up until at least five o'clock and so they wanted her to be comfortable. While Rachel went quickly to her old bedroom to retrieve her daughter's pyjamas, once she had passed the little girl over, Quinn held her close to her chest and rocked her. She was already asleep but she couldn't help but think she was soothing her further. Where she couldn't make a sound without hearing her voice crack and crying out wailing sobs, she simply continued to rock her girlfriend's daughter, kissing the top of her head and stroking her back. Rachel came back in, still humming, and undressed Heidi from her warm clothes.

The little girl was like a doll; limp and completely in the hands of her mom and Quinn. Where she was perfectly capable to undress and redress herself, neither of the women wanted to wake her. She was probably not going to be able to sleep later that night, but they decided they would try and act normal once she woke up: playing games and painting with each other, eat dinner and then get grandpa and grandpappy to tire her out. Rachel's delicate piano playing fingers pulled the straps of Heidi's pinafore down her arms and then took her long sleeved top off, choosing to leave the vest on in case she got cold. Then she pulled the pyjama top carefully over her rag doll head and then settled it neatly around her waist. Next Quinn held her slightly hovering above her thighs as Rachel quickly took her pinafore and tights off of her and began to thread her little legs through the leg holes. Again, she kept Heidi's panties on so she would be warm and then finally the task of dressing Heidi ready for bed in her pink pyjamas with little smiling white lambs on them, both women settled their precious pixie in between them as they snuggled together.

As gently as the new spring blossom falling from the trees, the women settled their pixie into the bed. Quinn had handed her back to Rachel – allowing the mother to kiss her forehead and cheeks – and the brunette placed her in between the two 'adult' pillows and resting her head on the silk purple decorative pillow so she would have one herself. Carefully Rachel took the cover and brought it up to Heidi's chin. The little girl had her arms bent at the elbow, as if showing off her muscles, fists tightly closed and she had her head to the side. Tiny, soothing baby snores puffed through her slightly crusted nose and Rachel felt herself become a little nostalgic. "When she looks like this," she whispered with the past floating through her tone, "She reminds me of when she was a little baby." A small laugh breathed out of her own nose, as she placed her hand on Heidi's hair, gently and soothingly easing the hair bobble out of her pigtail. "I must have told you but, when she was born, she was so small and so fair. Her skin I mean," she clarified, not taking her eyes off her child. Smile cracking through her otherwise still angry and concerned expression, Quinn scooted herself to the head of the bed and listened to Rachel reminisce. As much as she would love to watch Heidi sleeping like a baby right now, she wanted to watch Rachel's face as she recalled the memories from when Heidi was a baby. "Louis wasn't quite as tanned as I am you see," Rachel continued to explain. Where she would usually frown slightly at the mention of her late husband, Rachel's calm face remained just that: calm, despite the dreadful day. "When she came out and when she was placed in my arms, I think I cried more because of how much she looked like Louis than anything else." Very subtly Rachel's eyes narrowed, trying to keep any tears away from trying to form just thinking about him. Just as subtly, Quinn reached her arm out and placed it on Rachel's shoulder. She wanted to tell her that it was normal: if Beth had been born with olive skin like Noah had, she was sure she would have cried because of that. The fact that both of them had cried because their little baby girls were beautiful was more a comforting feeling. Instead, she simply held onto Rachel's shoulder and gave her a tiny squeeze; letting her know it was okay to continue at that she was still there.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Rachel's nose twitched and she carried on, jumping in time with her story, wanting to leave as much as the past in the past as much as possible. "As time went on, her skin darkened and now she really is just a much smaller version of me. I've seen baby pictures of me and, I swear if we put them together the only difference we would be able to see would be the clothes!" She let out a slightly loud laugh as she remembered flipping through some pictures of herself as a baby at three in the morning when Heidi was particularly cranky. Amazingly, seeing pictures of her mommy naked and in crazy baby costumes settled her down rather quickly. Quinn smiled at this piece of information and her hand began to rub comforting circles on Rachel's shoulder. Then Rachel's eyes glossed again. "I sometimes wish she was still that tiny little baby that was dependent on me," admitting with a sigh and before Quinn could interrupt she continue, "I know that she's still dependant on me and will be for the rest of her life in one way or another but...but sometimes, when something bad happens I just wish she was still inside me so I could protect her." With a weak smile, Rachel shrugged her shoulder and sighed: "I guess that's partly why I've kept her mine; hidden and secluded so nothing and no one can harm her."

Rachel's words stung. Quinn knew she didn't mean it in an ungrateful way because Quinn felt the exact same way about Beth. If Heidi was still inside Rachel – if Rachel were still pregnant – then at least her young ears wouldn't have heard the harsh words spoken by her father or saw the absolute disgust and anger in his face. At the least the latter was a given, considering Quinn had been told that babies within the womb could possibly hear things. Like Rachel felt, Quinn wanted to protect Heidi as much as possible; be it from any nightmares she had or the cruelness of people, Quinn wanted to be there as Heidi's personal bodyguard. She had visions of her scrutinising any potential boyfriends or driving her to the movies even when she was 'all grown up' and sitting in the back seat of the car she would be learning to drive in with a firm hand around the instructor's neck to make sure he didn't go to harshly on her as she learned, or personally holding Heidi against the force of a stalling. If any teachers – preschool through to college – gave her any bother, Quinn would be there with an attitude her teenage HBIC Quinn Fabray would be fearful of. As Quinn felt her anger rise once again about her father's disgusting behaviour, she noticed Rachel leaning down and curling in slightly into her daughter's side. Heidi had rolled over once again and was now flat on her back, the little snores becoming a little louder; filling the quiet room with her own music.

Fully dressed – apart from her shoes – Rachel bit her lower lip as her eyes roamed over her beautiful daughter's beautiful and angelic face. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed but yet she continued to hum the comforting tune, most likely for herself than for Heidi. Sat up on the bed, Quinn watched as Rachel stroked her daughter's soft dark hair and pressed her puckered lips to her soft skin in a feather light kiss, and held her close. Yes, this wasn't the worst thing that could have happened but anyone's stretch of the imagination and yes she wasn't hurt, but it was clear that Heidi had been scared and probably a little scarred by 'the king'. She had never been pushed, as far as either of them was aware of not even at kindergarten and especially not by an adult who could probably push over the entire McKinley High football team without breaking into a sweat. The fact that a grown man had shouted at and pushed a child smaller than she ought to be for her age, simply because he was angry at his own daughter was not acceptable. Quinn didn't even care that he had yelled at herself: she would always be angry by the way he treated Rachel and Heidi. Both were more fantastic than he would ever be. She didn't know when she would be able to talk to her father – or her mother for that matter – about what happened without wanting to kill him, but for now she had a more important matter to deal with. Or more accurately, two more important people.

Lying down on the other side of Heidi, Quinn reached out put her hand lightly on Rachel's head and began threading her fingers through her hair. She stroked the locks and broke apart the few tangles she had. Her eyes flickering from one brunette to the other, as she tried to think of what to say. She felt as if she was in one of those awful situations where someone dies and she has to try and comfort their loved one. In that instance silence was best, but what about now? Yes, no one had died but the calm tension filled atmosphere certainly held properties of that 'after death' feeling. Licking her lips, and feeling herself open her throat, Quinn found the words to say. "Rachel I am so sorry." It wasn't much, but just like in the 'after death' situation, it just seemed appropriate. After all, she did feel responsible for this wonderful little girl being so tired and not in a good way. She had imagined the three of them taking naps together after hours of endless playing, like the Magical Horses game they had played, or at the park. Having to take a nap because of too much crying and shouting was not a way in which Quinn wanted her family to have to go through. But here they were: on Rachel's comfy bed and soothing a sleeping child, about to nap themselves because of a man Quinn unfortunately had to call 'father'.

Apologising once again, Quinn kept her volume just above a whisper keep herself from crying and to keep Heidi from waking up. It was the first thing she had said in what felt like years and she was glad she hadn't tried to speak before because she could feel the crack in her voice begin to come through. Knowing what is was like to wake up after crying so much, the horrible groggy feeling in one's throat and the sore heavy weights in their eyes, Quinn didn't want Heidi to wake. She would try to keep her voice as soft, soothing and importantly as quiet as possible. Hearing the familiar arrangement of an apology from Quinn, Rachel's chocolate eyes flickered up to her and she smiled softly at her; "Don't be." She whispered just as the same as Quinn had spoken. The blonde was slightly amazed that Rachel was able to smile so soon after thinking of her late husband and remembering the day's awful event. Still, she must have been watching a reel of Baby Heidi in her head; Quinn knew that she would play one of herself and Rachel time and time again whenever she felt bad. At Rachel's soft voice, Quinn shifted herself so she was propped onto her elbow and staring down at her favourite brunettes once again, brow furrowed. "But I am," she argued, still quietly even though she tried to get her tone of apology and sincerity out. "I didn't know he would be there and yet he was there-" Her head shook as she spoke and continued to shake as Rachel tried to interject. "Quinn, you didn't know he would be there so don't blame yourself." The older brunette looked at her with the same heavy eyes Quinn was wearing, but unlike Quinn she was finding it hard to fight off the weight.

Blonde hair shuffled around once again and hazel-green eyes widened a little more. "But I do blame myself!" Quinn exclaimed, somehow still keeping a hushed whisper as she tried to argue. Rachel tried to scowl at her girlfriend. She knew full well she would blame herself – it was inevitable – but she couldn't beat herself up over it. It was an accident and really all she wanted to do was forget about it. Her daughter was napping and would be okay, she was a little shaken after watching her daughter be pushed but after this nap she too would be okay; now she just wished for her favourite blonde haired, hazel-green eyed girl to be okay too. "Well don't," she ordered softly and fought back a slightly yawn. "Let's just take a nap and forget all about it, okay?" She pleaded and waited for Quinn to nod her pretty but worry filled head. The two of them kept their eyes locked on each other. Both knew how stubborn they were, and yet like two dinosaurs they were fully prepared to battle this out. However, Rachel won their silent argument. Half reluctantly, Quinn's body deflated and she lay herself down, wrapping an arm above Heidi's so she could still run her fingers through Rachel's hair. Like an eagle hovering over its prey, Rachel watched Quinn watching her. Another soft smile grazed her lips and then she too settled down next to the adorable Unipeg that was Heidi. She flung her arm over the lightly snoring body and grasped a hold of Quinn's blouse, her thumb, rubbing the material slowly as a sort of comforter.

Just as they were giving into the welcomed sleep, Quinn blinked and opened her mouth. The two of them had been staring at each other, into their eyes, in almost silence. Now Quinn had one more thing to say. She loved Heidi. She loved Rachel. Simply, she loved them both but with any relationship there had to be trust and respect as well as love – something she wanted to help Rachel, Hiram and Leroy teach Heidi. She had one more question regarding this important factor. She had been thinking of what had happened with baby Beth in mind and her future children too. She was fiercely protective of them all and she just had one thing to ask. With that same croak in her voice, she asked a quietly as spring rain tapping on a window; "Do you still trust me with her safety?" Smiling like a tired sloth – not the most beautiful description of the love of her life, Quinn thought – Rachel nodded her head and uttered one word of confirmation: "Absolutely."

Armed with green recyclable and 'For Life' grocery bags, Grandpa Leroy and Grandpappy Hiram entered the house. Being the stronger of the two men, Leroy carried most of the 'Wicked' inspired shopping bags into the kitchen whilst Hiram continued to talk about a vacation he wanted to take Rachel and Heidi – and by addition Quinn – on. "All I'm saying Leroy, is that if we book now we could save at least two hundred dollars!" The shorter (and more flamboyant of the two Berry men) lugged his bags onto the kitchen table and sighed dramatically. "It would be wonderful! Little Heidi's first vacation and we could take lots of pictures and make a scrapbook and we could call it-"

"'Little Heidi's First Vacation'?" Leroy suggested, knowing full well that was what his lively husband was going to say. He heaved his own bags and then began to unload them, stacking the cupboards in any random order so his OCD husband and daughter could sort out later. Hiram ignored him and continued talking. "The hotel is really child friendly so Rachel wouldn't have to worry about shushing Heidi when she would be loud and she wouldn't have to fret about making sure the restaurants had children's menus, and we could all go out together to the beach every day and play in the water, let Heidi show off her swimming skills once we've enrolled her into a class-"

"Rachel would never let her go in open water, Hiram." Leroy reminded his husband as he rolled up one bag and began on the next. Once again, Hiram ignored his logical and sensible husband and continued to take things out of the cupboards and rearrange them. He couldn't understand why his husband did not follow the rules: cans and jars on the middle shelf, spices and 'miscellaneous items' on the bottom shelf with labels facing outwards. "Well we'll just have to make sure she and Quinn are occupied whilst we take her into the water," he flashed a cheeky grin at his husband, which made him roll his eyes. "Would Quinn want to come?" He asked, knowing full well that Hiram would fall into his trap. Right on cue, Hiram slammed his cupboard door shut and gasped at Leroy; "Of course she would!" He exclaimed and waved a hand dramatically in the air, "Why would she not want to?" And there it was: the final part to Leroy's trick. Knowing his husband's next move, he walked around the other side of the breakfast bar and away from him. "She might not want to come because that would mean she would have to deal with your erratic behaviour!"

Right on queue once again, Hiram gasped and grabbed the dishcloth, ready to smack his husband with. For a little while the groceries were forgotten as the two of them relived their teenage boy years and began chasing each other around the kitchen. Of course, they weren't teenage boys anymore and their little game was shortly over with both men panting at the sink. Hiram playfully hit Leroy with his flapping hand and then blushed as Leroy pressed his face to his husband's cheek to give him a sweet apologetic kiss. Leroy chuckled as he was shooed away because of the scratchy stubble he had and shook his head in a 'can I do anything right' fashion. The two of them then resumed their task of unloading the bags. One of the items Hiram pulled out was a pink cereal box, decorated with marshmallow creature people wearing different brightly coloured clothes; a pink tutu, a blue baseball cap, green dungarees and a yellow sundress. In white cloud like letters the box read at the top 'Tummy Pals' and Hiram sighed sadly. Hearing his husband, Leroy turned around from where he was making space in the refrigerator and looked at the slumped shoulders of the man he loved. "Why so glum darling?" He asked concerned and walking over. Hiram looked over his shoulder and spoke as his husband wrapped his strong arms around his husband's waist. It was then that Leroy saw what it was and he too sighed. "I wish for once Rachel would let us feed this to our own granddaughter and not give us a lecture," Hiram sighed a little angrily and put the box down with a heavy thud. With his thumbs making soothing motions on his husband's slightly bony hips, Leroy pressed his chin into the section on Hiram's sweater that connected his neck and shoulder. "I know darling," he sighed a little softer than his love, "But she's just protective."

"Overprotective and frightened is a better way of describing her," Hiram bit back, growling a little. Leroy once more sighed and nodded his head. "I know love but..." He shrugged his shoulders, debating for a moment if he should continue his sentence. "She almost lost her," he whispered quietly.

Neither of them wanted to remember or even think about the most terrifying phone call they had ever had to respond to. They had both promised to be at Rachel's last show before the baby arrived, but due to work commitments and such they couldn't make it however they told Rachel they were making her room up and getting 'baby friendly' and 'pregnant friendly' food in for when she came to stay with them the weekend after her last show. Louis had privately informed the two men that their daughter was driving him – and the caterers of the theatre – slightly crazy with her baby diet demands. Where Leroy had chuckled and talked of memories where a woman he worked with once was driving the office insane because of her bizarre tuna with chocolate and mustard sandwiches, Hiram scolded them both for making fun of Rachel, reminding them how special and important she was because she was bringing in a new life. Louis, of course, had tried to defend himself by saying he helped her bringing the new life into the world. Hiram had then lectured him about how his part of the process was nowhere near as important as Rachel's and then demanded a full list of foods Rachel was currently craving and he wanted an update the second they changed to anything else.

On the dreaded night that no one could possibly predict, Leroy was working on a document he had to finish for a client of his so they could proceed with a particularly important hearing. His office was strangely enough a hive of activity at this time of night. Due to the firm taking on such a huge client (a national food chain being sued by someone rather famous) everyone was working overtime in making sure it all went smoothly – and to their advantage. Leroy was therefore expecting phone calls, this one call he certainly was not expecting: his husband calling with news that made him throw his computer aside and bellow at everyone to begin preying. Since before he had come out to his own parents when he was eighteen years old, he hadn't preyed since, however on this night he was praying to not just the God he was brought up to believe in, but every version of that God. Even though he had been told not to, he had begun to make bargains with each of them. First he cursed them and tried to somehow kill them himself for bringing harm to his daughter and his unborn grandchild, secondly he tried to bribe them with promises of going to church again and even going to the synagogue with Hiram more often (even though they most certainly were not welcome there). Finally, he just begged. Some would claim he was praying, but he would tell them he was begging for the pain and suffering Rachel was, and would be, going through and pass it onto him. Then, just as he was nearing the house he had brought his daughter up in, he promised God that if he allowed his daughter to die, then he would break every rule in his book he could find.

On the opposite side of the town, Hiram had been cooking dinner for his husband before he too got back to his laptop in his office at home. Because his company's working hours ended at eight, he however was not expecting a phone call. He picked up the phone on the fifth ring, right before it was to go to voicemail, and listened to the news that made him almost vomit there and then on the floor of their newly tiled kitchen. "Berry residence, Hiram Berry speaking," He answered the phone in his usual chirpy voice with a smile on his face. That smile soon melted away and vanished like an ice cube in Cuba and his teeth began to chatter and his eyes welled with tears once he had confirmed that yes, he was Rachel Berry-Dexter's father. "My name is Doctor Harris, I'm afraid to inform you that your daughter has been stabbed quite badly and will need an immediate blood transfusion..." He was sure his heart had stopped beating as soon as he had said 'stabbed'. The only replies to his various questions and comments were little squeaks. As soon as he heard the click of the doctor hanging up, Hiram speed dialled Leroy's cell phone number. He was shaking all over and as soon as he heard his husband's deep, wonderful voice answer with; "Hey darling," he couldn't keep the sob back. Leroy stood from his chair and tried to calm his frantic husband down, repeating over and over to calm down. "She's been stabbed!" Hiram screamed, crying harder than before somehow. "She's been stabbed! Oh God Leroy our baby! Her baby! Oh God!" Hiram had then crumpled on the floor and began beating the tiled with his fist. Needless to say, the office document was postponed and the dinner was ruined.

The two of them didn't even pack. They simply took a cab to the airport and demanded to know when the next flight to New York City was. They didn't care how much it cost as long as they were on the plane and by their baby girl's side by the morning. Leroy had screamed and yelled at the security teams to let them through and board the plane, even though in their haste leave they had forgotten their passports. Sure enough, however, by six o'clock the next morning they were sat by their baby girl's side, squeezing her hand tightly, and showering her with tears. Once they had got to the hospital and had been told of the news that their daughter had been involved with a violent madman rampage and might lose not only her baby's life but her own, the two men had two very different reactions. Leroy yelled and punched a wall and had to be restrained by the hospital's strong, but sympathetic security team. Hiram had done what he wanted to do since hearing his daughter's accident: he promptly vomited on the floor several times and then lay down in foetus position ripping his clothes. It took them both another hour and a half until they had calmed down enough for them to go and see their precious daughter. Once inside her room, they both cried; Hiram more so than Leroy, but they held onto her and didn't take their eyes off of her.

As well as never forgetting the fear they felt when they heard of what had happened to her, they will never forget the terror they heard, saw and felt when they had to explain to Rachel that her husband, her wonderful, caring, funny and all round charming husband, had not been so lucky and had in fact died. She had woken, groaning of feeling overwhelmed with pain and weeping, understandably confused by what she was doing in the hospital. Both her dad and daddy comforted her, stroking her hair and kissing her hand, cheeks and forehead, as they told her that a pair of madmen (as the papers were calling it) stormed the stage and tried to kill, if not severely injure, the cast. They had also explained that they didn't know the reason behind it, and they didn't really care, but they were just so grateful she was safe. It was after these words had gone past her dad's lips did Rachel widen her eyes and she looked around the room, trying to find her husband. He had been by her side for every doctor's appointment about their baby, no matter what, and now she assumed he must be there with her fathers. The question "which do you want first: the good news or the bad" was always going to be a question neither of the men really wanted to answer. Yes they were overjoyed that they had been told, by some miracle, the child inside Rachel was okay and was going to be okay, that Rachel would probably go full term with the pregnancy, but how were they to then break the news that she would become a single parent?

Brown eyes focused on brown and green. Her fathers would always remember her resembling a deer staring at its hunters before the inevitable shot would be fired. "Where is Louis?" She asked her voice slightly louder than a whisper. It was then that Hiram had to lower his head and cover his face to hide the tears. In a way, he should have just carried on looking at his daughter, for his reaction gave her all the information she needed: he was dead. In all of their lives neither men had heard screaming quite like what they heard coming out of their daughter's mouth. Three nurses and two doctors had to come and sedate her to calm her down – a drastic measure both men didn't want to happen, but knew needed to. She screamed and thrashed and cried, cursed and spat as she tried to detangle herself and get up from the bed to find her husband. As Hiram was being cradled by his husband, weeping into his bicep and mumbling just how sorry he was, Leroy tried to tell her that all was not lost. "The baby is okay Rachel," he told her, trying to make his voice as strong as possible. "The baby is going to be all-" but he could finish his sentence because his daughter shouted with a venom that chilled his bones still to this day: "I don't care about it I just want my husband! Why couldn't it have been killed and not him? Why? Why!" The fact she had called her baby, her child, her daughter as 'it' was what made Leroy cry the most. He thought it would be the fact she wanted her child dead instead of her husband, but strangely it was because she had referred to her baby as 'it', something she never wanted to do before she even found out she was pregnant. She wanted her husband yes, but he also knew she wanted her baby too, it just so happened she didn't have a choice any more of which one she was 'allowed' to have.

On the day of the memorial for the three other actors and four members of the stage-crew that had also died, Hiram and Leroy supported Rachel both emotionally and physically. That sat either side of her as they listened to various people talk about the accident and the lives of the deceased. None of the Berrys were listening. Rachel had stared blankly at the photograph of her loving husband in front of her, remembering when it was taken and feeling his presence beside her. All throughout the service she felt the little flutters of her baby moving but bitterly she ignored it. Although the doctors and her fathers had told her repeatedly what a miracle it was the baby was still alive, a part of her still didn't care. A part of her still wished it was her child to take the place of her husband. Through the service she didn't speak at all. She didn't speak or sing or make any sound at all, unlike the other spouses of the deceased. The only way she could communicate her emotions was through her never ending tears. Later, it was decided that Louis would be buried in Lima so that Rachel and their unborn child could still visit him. The last time she sang in front of Louis was during his funeral and she swore that would be her last time.

Being dragged out of their joint memories, the men put the box of children's cereal down and continued to pack away the groceries and tidy the kitchen. A part of them loved how protective Rachel was of her little sunbeam, but at other times they just wished she would relax. Often they thought about how different their lives would be if Louis hadn't died: the three Berry-Dexter's would be in New York City (or a suburb of NYC) and living a beautiful life of gingerbread and singing and laughter. The two Berry men would be visiting often with presents for Heidi and day trips with the proud parents. Leroy and Dexter would share bottles of beer together over fishing or watching sports and talk about said sports, arguing over teams and playoffs whilst Hiram and Rachel would teach Heidi to bake cakes and play fair princess. The five of them would eat dinner together, play together, sing and dance together…they would be a family together! The biggest impact of their lives would be that Rachel would be the same. She might not be so cautious. She probably would have allowed Louis to teach Heidi to swim, allow her to play in the park without someone standing under her or joining her, she would be allowed to eat sugary cereal…she would be allowed to be a carefree child! Leroy often imagined Rachel dressed in a suit and hair tied with a concerned but happy expression on her face, Louis standing a few feet away in his favourite swim shorts. Then Heidi would be dressed in an adorable pink bathing suit, bunches in her hair and pink water wings on her little arms. He imagined Rachel beaming at her and holding her arms out wide, waiting for Heidi to swim to her, Louis holding onto his daughter ever so gently and then, once their little guppy had swam into her mother's arms they would celebrate with family hugs and kisses and ice cream. Over the course of the four years since Louis's death, Leroy (and Hiram, and Rachel of course) had imagined little scenarios that every family had. It was only now with Quinn's return did he look forward to seeing his ideas play out in front of him.

Even though they themselves were cautious of Quinn's return, with each day they realised that perhaps the old Rachel – Rachel Berry – would come back and Heidi would be able to see the Rachel they all knew and loved. His daughter had been so closed off from the world for so long he was grateful that Quinn was back in her life. He was glad anyone was back in her life and making her smile. As much as he loved being one of the three people to make her smile, he was quietly joyed that someone Rachel had loved (and really never did stop loving) was back and making her brighter and more like her old self.

An unfortunate downside (besides the obvious heartbreak at no longer having a husband and a father to her child) of being a widow, was that Rachel had become extremely closed in. At first he and his husband thought it was just due to her mourning and going through that process of grieving and then being caught up with the role of continuing a pregnancy alone and becoming a mother alone. The fact that his daughter stopped her life completely concerned him deeply. Before Louis's death she would sing to her baby and talk to her. After however, she barely said a word or made a noise apart from the occasional umm and hmm. He had only shouted at her once and that was due to her health (and that of unborn Heidi's). She had stopped eating, showering, changing her clothes…simply stopped, like an old grandfather clock that needed to be wound up again. He was the one to wind her up temporarily and together he and Hiram helped her go through the rest of her pregnancy safely. Came next the more difficult challenge of raising a new born baby, an infant, a new life! A new Berry. The tears the two girls cried were almost too much to handle at some stages and where Hiram would rock the baby Heidi to sleep or change her diaper or simply just entertain her by babbling to her, Leroy would rock their own daughter. She cried constantly about how she never thought it would be 'this hard'. Of course, she had always assumed she would have her husband to cradle her at night in his strong arms, have him rub her shoulders whilst she breastfed and take over from pushing the pram as they strolled along the streets of Lima, Ohio as they proudly boasted their new baby to the world. Where Leroy and Hiram knew they were very much appreciated, respected and loved, they of course knew it wasn't the same.

During one night of seemingly endless crying into her dad's dressing gown, Rachel had admitted how she had imagined her and Louis taking turns in getting up in the night to tend to a 'not-quite-accustomed-to-night-and-day' baby and talking in whispered hushes as they watched their darling daughter fall back to sleep. Leroy had found Rachel trying desperately to get Heidi to latch onto her throbbing nipple at an unsightly hour of two thirty in the morning, having awoken to the soft sounds of her sobs. She looked up at him after quietly pleading, begging and almost cursing at her child resting in her arms, and sobbed over the task. He slid over to her and wrapped his large hands on her shoulders and began to soothingly rub them to relieve the tension she was feeling. "I just can't do it," she whispered, sounding so defeated it made Leroy want to cry for her so she didn't have to feel the pain yet again. "This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to be in a beautiful little house in the New York suburbs with a swing in the backyard for when she was older and rocking her to sleep in front of the fire in the winter and Louis…just…Louis!" Her sobs made the baby in her arms agitated and she let out a howl and a wail which only upset Rachel more. Before the baby could be dropped onto the table, Leroy took her off of his daughter and shushed her: her midnight meal would have to wait.

Still with her breasts on display, Leroy pulled his baby girl to his chest and rubbed her back, trying to sooth her. The young brunette's sensitive breasts stung from both the weight of her milk and also trying to force her daughter to latch on and eat. To her it seemed like the simplest of tasks were becoming too much and she wished she could go back in time and just…change things. She couldn't, logically and obviously, but she blamed her dreadful thoughts on 'New Born Baby Brain'. She was always so tired and her eyes always so sore, she pleaded for just one day's release. Just one day. One baby in one arm, another in the other, Leroy tried to wrack his brilliant brain of what he could do. When he and Hiram were deciding to have a baby, he was sure they never thought they would have to deal with a situation like this and it broke his heart to see Rachel like this. In a way he was glad it was just him and not his husband too for he would have one whimpering infant, a sobbing young woman and a sniffling husband. Once the child had cried herself to sleep, Leroy passed her over to her mother. With shuddering breaths, Rachel looked down at her child and tried to smile: she was perfect in every way and she regretted so much that she had ever had a bad thought about her. Carefully, and sniffling back her tears, she brought her daughter up in her arms to her lips and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. Her father watched and still continued to think of what to do.

It was killing him to see her so sad and him almost powerless to change it. Taking Rachel gently by the shoulders, Leroy maneuverered her so she faced him. The young woman continued to stare down at her baby as her father carefully fastened her pyjama blouse. Either she didn't care or was oblivious to her father's caring actions, Rachel sighed and asked her father a question that had been burning on her lips for weeks; "Will the pain go away soon dad?" Her voice was just as exhausted as her eyes and her father bit on his bottom lip in a desperate attempt not to lie. Instead of telling her that yes, it will fade soon, he shrugged his shoulders and replied; "I think you need to talk to someone." The jolt in which Rachel reacted with was not quite as earth shattering as she thought it was, but she still widened her eyes at her father's suggestion. "No," she simply refused. "No I don't…I don't need a therapist or someone-"

"I'm not saying that," he dad counter argued. "All I'm saying is…perhaps talk to your mother?"

Since Rachel had graduated from high school and then moved to New York, she and Shelby had rebuilt their relationship. Both were understandably nervous because of the memory of Rachel's rejection in her sophomore year. Through their shared bonding of looking after a hyperactive, sporty little Beth, the mother and daughter grew to love each other and have the bond they supposedly should have always had. Shelby was there for all of Rachel's transforming and growing up life; her gradation, her first audition after school, her first show, grilling Louis when he wanted to date her, her wedding and her pregnancy. Rachel had also been at Beth's life events too, she was her big sister after all. There was one life event Shelby of course wished never happened and that was what Rachel was going through. On hearing the news of Rachel's accident, Shelby was all prepared to convert her garage into a small house for her daughter, son in-law and grandchild. On hearing the news of her son in-law's death, she wanted to convert the garage into a house just for her daughter and grandchild. Of course, the three parents agreed it would be best if Rachel lived back at the home she grew up in. Shelby was never far away and in this trying time, it was only right Rachel had her mother.

Nodding her head after thinking things through, Rachel agreed that she would talk to her mother how she was feeling. For the next few months and then years, Rachel slowly began to build herself up. Shelby had given her the advice she needed to pick herself up again: "You are a mother now Rachel, you need to be there for Heidi. You mustn't let her see you cry. Cry all you want but don't let her see. You need to protect her from your own sadness." Rachel had taken her mom's words seriously and had set about making sure she protected her daughter, not only from her own sadness but from everything negative in the world. Leroy was concerned that Rachel was taking this advice too seriously. She was far too overbearing and cautious, but of course he understood why. He remembered when he tried to give Heidi a band aid after she had scraped her knee on the gravel. Rachel had gone ballistic that he had forgotten to use the antiseptic cream and ordered him to consult her before he did anything to her child. Some days he wasn't sure which version of Rachel was worse: silent caring Rachel, or talking anxious Rachel. All he really wanted, of course, was his old Rachel. The fearless one.

Although Rachel was surrounded by parents and a sister and all other people who loved her, there was always going to be that one person who was needed almost more than everyone. Louis was needed and wanted, but was no longer with them and Leroy had been waiting and waiting for the day that the infamous Quinn Lucy Fabray arrived back into their lives. It may have taken longer than he would have liked and yes he may have just wished she was Louis coming back, but now she was back, he was so thankful for her presence.

"Book the vacation," Leroy announced. He had been staring out of the window watching a bird try to peck a frozen crumb from the grass and he suddenly thought the trip away would be good. Hiram turned around from flipping through his emails on his phone and raised his eyebrows. "What did you say heart?" His term of endearment made Leroy swallow hard as he remembered hearing Rachel call Louis 'heart' one evening as they were kissing on their couch when she thought her 'good ol' dads' had gone to bed. Smiling he turned around and announced again; "Book the vacation," nodding his head as a sort of afterthought he added, "For five." Brightly grinning at his husband, Hiram crossed over the kitchen and pressed his lips to his husband's cheek, standing on his tip toes slightly to reach. His other hand caressed the back of his head and then his neck. Calming his smile down slightly, he sighed and pressed his lips to his husband's ear and whispered; "Thank you." Hiram knew that a change of scenery would be good for everyone and this little trip away in the summer would be perfect for them all. Although he may not appear to think as deeply as his husband, he did think that all his daughter needed was her family, and this vacation would be more than perfect. If she allowed herself to let go a little.

Stretching her little arms above her head, Heidi yawned like a lion and then thumped her little fists on two lumps beside her. At first she was confused. When did she put her pyjamas on? Where was Penguin? What was she doing in her mommy's bed? With her little eyebrows furrowed and her fingers scratching at her adorable bedhead (copied from what she saw her Grandpa do in the mornings sometimes) she looked over to her left and then to her right. Both her mommy and Quinn were asleep, holding each other's hands above where her head would have been resting. Wriggling her toes and shoulders, Heidi sighed. Not a particular sigh, just a noise to alert her mother that she was indeed awake and wanted attention. Her head felt fuzzy and her bottom hurt. The area that was her coccyx hurt and she wanted to rub it. Standing steadily on her little legs, she hovered above where he mom and Quinn were laying. Sticking her hand down the back of her lamb decorated pyjamas, Heidi rubbed the sore spot hard but found that made it hurt too. "Ouch!" She exclaimed and bit her bottom lip. Just as she was trying to think how she could have hurt herself, she remembered that she fell down and that must be the reason why her bottom was sore. Flopping back onto the bed, Heidi decided the best way to get rid of her poorly bottom was to distract herself and what better way did a four year old distract herself? Playing with her mommy!

On her hands and knees, she crawled on top of her mother and began to bounce, ignoring the pain in her backside as much as possible. "Mommy can I go play?" She asked in her normal speaking voice, but then realised her mother was sleeping and she had to whisper in order for her to wake up. "Mommy," she whispered close to her mom's ear, "Can I go play?" Her curious brown eyes watched as her mother slowly woke. Her face scrunched up in a similar way as her own face did (although she didn't know it) and her hand flexed against the material of Quinn's blouse she was still gripping on to. With a few little baby groans (that made Quinn's face break out into a huge Cheshire cat grin whenever she heard them) Rachel's eyes fluttered open. She blinked again slightly harder because she wasn't expecting to see her baby girl's face quite so close to her own. "Hey there little star," She whispered – partly due to her still being a little tired but mostly so she didn't wake Quinn up – and sat up a little, letting go of Quinn's shirt. The action caused Quinn to stir and she too opened her eyes and watched as the young mother pulled her baby girl onto her thighs as she sat resting against the backboard. Heidi sat perched on her mother and held onto her slightly bigger hands, looking at her with mirroring, identical curious eyes. "My bottom hurts mommy can I go play?"

Rachel had been brushing the sleepy hair out from her daughter's eyes whilst supporting her, but hearing Heidi say she was in pain her hands immediately flew to when it hurt. "Where does it hurt sweetheart?" She asked, helping her stand up on her thighs and trying to twirl her around. Shrugging, and not really caring too much about the pain at this point in time, Heidi replied; "Just my bottom but I want to play Magical Horses and have a picnic and…" Rachel zoned out of listening to her babble on about the games she wanted to play. She was now pulling Heidi's pyjama bottoms slightly down so she could inspect where she was hurting. Quinn had also fully awakened and was now holding onto Heidi's ribs to stop her from toppling over. The two older girls looked at each other for a moment, silently choosing their roles: Rachel was to be investigator and Quinn was to be distracter. Beaming at the bubbly child Quinn asked her; "Which teddy bears are going to be invited to your Teddy Bear's Picnic, pixie?" She had to keep the little girl focused long enough so she wouldn't jump down and scurry away but also so she wouldn't turn around and cause her mom to worry even more about not being able to find the source of pain. With a loud squeal, Heidi clapped her hands. "All of them!" She yelled and tried to bounce up and down, but Quinn held onto her to stop her from doing so, telling her that she couldn't possibly take them all into the living room to have a picnic.

On inspecting Heidi's peachy/olive bottom, Rachel found nothing to be too concerning. She may have a slight bruise forming on her coccyx but other than that she would be okay. Exhaling, Rachel smiled at Quinn and nodded her head. She of course was thinking of the worst case scenario – broken tailbone, fractured tailbone, spinal damage – but that was her job as a mother to think like that. Suddenly Heidi felt herself fly upwards like she was in an elevator and she squealed when she realised it was Quinn lifting her up so she could sit her down between the two adults. Rachel leaned down and kissed Heidi's head and then Quinn's cheek, thanking her for helping. Quinn smiled back and cupped her cheek, bringing her in for a quick peck on the lips. Between them, the little pixie-star kicked her legs and began demanding more kisses. The blonde and the brunette caught each other's mischievous glints in the other's eyes and then began attacking Heidi with not only kisses but tickles and soon the room was full of laughter: something their brunch should have been filled with. A truce was eventually called once Heidi yelled that she had to 'go potty' and yelled that she didn't want to be a baby and wet the sheets. After her own giggles calmed a little, Rachel lifted her wriggly little girl down and smoothed her soft hair. "Why don't you pick you pick your teddies and get them all prepared for the tea party once you're done in the bathroom, okay?" Rachel suggested and Heidi nodded her head, cupping herself in a way that little children do when they need the bathroom, and she ran out of the room squealing to herself.

As the little one left the room, Quinn turned to her girlfriend and pulled her into her arms. Rachel wasn't quite expecting it and so gasped a little, but soon began melting with slight moans as she was now being peppered with kisses on her face and neck, all the while being held protectively. "How are you?" Quinn mumbled into Rachel's neck, alternating between pressing kisses to the skin there and licking it like a cat lapping up water in a bowl. Holding onto Quinn's arms, which were wrapped around her own middle, Rachel sighed and sank further into Quinn's warm body. "A little better," she told her, resting her head on Quinn and looking up at her through her eyelashes. A smile formed on her face as she began running her fingernails along Quinn's arms. "How about you," Concern lacing her voice as she asked. The blonde took a deep breath and released it saying in that old time romantic way; "I'm wonderful if you are." The reply made Rachel grin softly and she picked up one of Quinn's hands and kissed her palm before shuffling. "As much as I would love to stay like this, my fathers are probably home and we should see them before Heidi tells them anything." A little flash of panic ran across Quinn's face and she asked if Heidi really would tell them anything, considering the most important thing on her mind were her toys and what type of food they would all eat at the picnic/tea party. Her brunette shrugged her shoulders and said; "I think your right but, we should still make sure." Realising Rachel was right and that although they themselves had but what happened behind them, she didn't want to risk making the Berry men feel they had missed out on some important information. "Once again you're right my sweetheart," Quinn admired, pressing a kiss to the top of Rachel's head and then allowing the both of them to go downstairs.

Hand in hand they walked down the steps and heard Grandpa Leroy and Grandpappy Hiram talking about something in the living room. Once they made their presence known, it was as if they were hiding something because Hiram suddenly pushed what looked like a folder down the side of the couch. Both women ignored it and thought it must be to do with their work or something. They smiled at the two of them and Leroy stood up to embrace his daughter. "Hey girls," he greeted, standing and then wrapping his eagle wing like arms around Rachel, pressing several kisses to her head. "Where's Heidi?" He asked, noticing he hadn't been hit in the groin or knee yet due to her height whenever she tries to give him a hug. "She's just playing in her room," informed Quinn, walking over to the couch and fluffing a cushion ready for Rachel to lean against as she sat next to her. "Trying to figure out which teddy bears were going to come down for a tea party." She continued and Hiram nodded his head, knowing just how important it was to get the right 'guests' for that sort of gathering answering with an "Oh right," and continuing to nod his head. Once Leroy had released his daughter, Rachel scurried to sit next to Quinn; Leroy and Hiram on their own chairs facing them. Leaning back in his chair, Hiram asked "How was brunch?" and then the room fell into a silence that puzzled the men but worried the women.

For a short while, neither Quinn nor Rachel quite knew what to say and this puzzled the two men. They were expecting a simple "It was fine" from Quinn and then a slightly more elaborate description of their time, hearing what Heidi drew and what they ate and just what happened. Locking eyes with his husband for a moment, Hiram cleared his throat. "Did something happen at brunch?" Hearing her daddy's question, Rachel held onto Quinn's hand a little tighter and then felt Quinn squeeze her fingers back. Where Rachel cleared her throat, preparing to begin her tale of what happened; Quinn tucked a loose strand of golden hair behind her ear and began to talk as bluntly as possible to clear the tension like cobwebs in a garage. "My father arrived uninvited." At hearing a mention of the infamous Mr Russell Fabray, Leroy was ready to pounce on Quinn's next words and Hiram froze slightly.

Being the first (and they were sure only) open gay couple in Lima, the Berry men had experienced years of Mr Fabray's abuse. Mostly they were tolerate of it, put it down to simple middle/upper class Christian prejudices but when they saw the humiliation that man put their own daughter through, it became a war. The two men (well, mostly Hiram) had spent the last ten years trying to stir trouble and ruffle Mr Fabray's feathers. Every Valentine's Day the Berrys organised a Kiss-monstration where they would gather all of their friends (some coming from several corners of the US) outside the Fabray Industries headquarters and would kiss. Men and men, women and women, men and women would simply spend an hour or so kissing out on the public sidewalk, demonstrating their equality to love. They had come up with various ideas to get the town more homosexual friendly, but there efforts never really mounted to anything. Leroy especially had been given several warnings by his senior bosses to keep his 'partner' on a shorter leash where the publicity of the company was concerned. Considering the girls went to the Fabray's not just as a couple, but as a family, both men were concerned as to what Quinn was going to tell them next.

Taking a few deep breaths, Quinn bought herself time as to decide where she should next take the conversation. Should she just tell the men everything he said, or should she just tell them about Heidi being pushed? Luckily for her, Rachel then jumped in with what to say next. "He said a few offensive things about Quinn and I…" she looked to Quinn, silently asking if she should explain further. Getting a small nod as a reply she continued, "Being a couple…" She paused again looked to Quinn once more. This was it. This was the bit that was going to make her dads very angry and upset, but the two of them had agreed they would have to tell them. Eyes closed and exhaling deeply, Rachel let out the final piece of information. "Obviously he wasn't best pleased and so began to yell and Heidi came scurrying back into the room after hearing Quinn's father shouting and he pushed her over." The gasp that Hiram made was loud and cracking like the wind in winter, which was expected from him, and the thud that Leroy made, made Rachel snap open her eyes. Her dad was pacing the floor, trying to find something in his brain that meant he could sue Mr Fabray for harming a child. His fist was tightly clenched and his face was contorted into bizarre but angry shapes. Hiram asked Rachel, holding her other hand, what happened with Heidi once she was pushed. "She was understandably scared, very shaken up and cried and I think she may have bruised her coccyx." The brunette explained with Quinn nodding her head.

Finally, Leroy slammed his fist into the nearest wall and growled; "That bastard." Rachel stood, bringing Quinn up with her and tried to calm him down. "Dad-" In a soft, calming voice, Rachel began to reason with her dad, but was stopped. "No," Leroy turned to face his approaching daughter and shook his head. His eyes were burning with anger. That man could mess with him, he could mess with the equal rights campaigns but there was no way he was going to allow him to hurt his family, especially his fragile daughter and granddaughter who very well might not have even been born due to another idiot. He stared at Rachel with his flaming eyes; "Rachel what he did was just…I can't even find the words!" Throwing his hands into the air he groaned and growled once more, Hiram coming up to him and taking hold of his elbow, trying to get him to sit back down so he didn't do any damage. "Leroy calm down we'll just talk to him-"

"No we won't." Leroy shrugged his husband off and continued to pace. "I'm going to go over there and kick his ass! How dare he hurt my granddaughter!" He wanted to tear the man limb from limb and do absolutely unthinkable things to him. Yes, he had been called names and once or twice his and his husband's property had been damaged, but that was years ago. He just wished that the world would move on and accept people for who they were. This man had hurt his granddaughter just because he didn't like the idea that his own daughter was in a relationship with the child's mother. He wanted to spit in his face. "He didn't necessarily hurt her-" Rachel spoke, but was once again interrupted. "He pushed her down and made her cry!" As he spoke next his eyes flicked from Rachel to Quinn and then back to Rachel. "You said yourself girls that he scared her!"

"And if you keep shouting and threatening to hurt him then you are going to scare Heidi!" The new voice came from Quinn, where this courage to stand up to Leroy came from she didn't quite know but she felt exhilarated: perfect practise for when arguing with teachers over silly things when Heidi was older. Still, the blonde hadn't stood up to Leroy before. Ever. And the room suddenly fell silent.

Both the blonde and the more muscular of the two men took deep breaths to calm themselves. Both loves of their lives shuffled to them and looped their arms around them. Quinn and Leroy continued to stare at each other. Both were incredibly passionate about what had happened and what they wanted to do. Quinn had already been told to calm down and not to do anything drastic, Leroy however had not had that talk and so was entitled to be angry. However, what Rachel and Hiram weren't expecting was for Hiram to deflate slightly with a long exhaled sigh. "Quinn's right," he announced quietly, wiping his forehead, taking a step back and sighing, his posture physically relaxing. Hiram held him a little tighter, squeezed his muscles and then kissed his cheek. Leroy stared straight at Quinn and nodded his head. "Quinn is right, I should stop shouting and we should focus on the now. Heidi will be coming down the stairs any minute now and we have to make her feel safe and happy." The other three adults nodded their heads and waited for Leroy to speak more. "When she comes down, unless she mentions what happened, we will just go on as normal. Agreed?" Again, the three adults nodded their heads and Rachel let go of Quinn for a moment to give her dad a hug. As Rachel wrapped her arms around her dad, Leroy kept his eyes on Quinn nodded his head at her. He broke out of the hug with his daughter and walked over to Quinn and shook her hand.

Sure enough, the sound of tiny feet pattered and happy talking to teddy bears was heard. Leroy and Quinn let go of one another's hands and as soon as Heidi bounded through the living room door with about seven different teddy bears under her arms and a huge smile on her face, the adults had almost forgotten what had happened. "We're ready for the tea party!" She grinned excitedly and ran up to her Grandpa Leroy. Staring up at him with a smile he had seen all too often on his daughter's face growing up as well as her own little one, she asked in her most polite and cute voice; "Can we have cake please? It's Billy Bear's birthday and he needs cake." As if she had told them all the world's funniest joke, the four adults began to laugh and Heidi was scooped up into her grandpa's arms – teddy bears too. Her cheek was then tickled by the stubble on her grandpa's chin and upper lip as she was given a kiss. "Which one is Billy Bear?" He asked, knowing that Heidi changed her toy's names almost daily. Squirming a little in her giant of a grandpa's arms, he tried to present a blue bear with a red bowties and green sewed on buttons. "This is Billy Bear." She told him and the rest of the adults. "Hello there Billy Bear," Hiram said, shaking his green felt paw. "And if it's your birthday, how old are you?" Heidi then had to think of an age for the teddy bear. Her little eyebrows scrunched a little as she tried to think and then she beamed at her grandpappy. "He's eleven hundred zillion years old!" Again the adults started to laugh and Leroy declared he was sure they had eleven hundred zillion candles for Billy Bear's birthday cake.

Whilst Hiram and Leroy set about making the living room 'tea party perfect', Quinn and Rachel went into the kitchen to prepare dinner for Heidi. They themselves weren't hungry, but Quinn was sure Rachel was going to make sure they all ate something healthy for dinner. As Rachel began to boil the water to make spaghetti, Quinn smiled softly at her and tried to think of way where she could turn back the clock so that her dad never had to come home. Yes it was all put behind them, but it still was playing on her mind. She wanted so badly to just make Rachel's life easier. It just wasn't fair that she couldn't be happy with the person she loved: Louis had to be killed and she had to be frowned upon by her father and therefore they were all subject to his abuse…it just wasn't fair. She was only dragged out of her thoughts by the feel of a damp cloth hitting her face. Quinn blinked at a giggling Rachel. "Where did you go?" The brunette asked, as she now pours a jar of sauce into the pot of pasta. Shrugging and moving towards her, Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel and pressed little kisses on her face before replying; "Nowhere you need to worry about."

Later that night, Quinn couldn't sleep. She and Rachel had Heidi come sleep with them again after Heidi had begged and pleaded if she could sleep in mommy's bed again. The tick and tocking somewhere in the house was keeping Quinn up. It wasn't just the annoying sound of an inanimate object; it was what had happened the day before that kept the blonde up. As Rachel lay curled into her daughter's side, hand heavy on top of Quinn's blonde mop, Quinn could hear the light snores come from her nose and mouth, telling her she was asleep. It was early. The blonde didn't need to look at her phone to tell the time, nor did she really need to peep through the curtain to look at the night sky. It had to be about four or five in the morning, but Quinn was just grateful she had been able to sleep at all.

Slowly and carefully not to wake either Rachel or Heidi up, Quinn swung her pyjama clad legs over the legs over the side of the bed and headed towards the door. As a child if she couldn't sleep, she always got up and make herself a glass of milk. In her adult years if she couldn't sleep it would be a glass of red, but she didn't think Rachel would appreciate her daughter catching a smell of red wine and then wanting to know what the fruity smell was. "Quinn?" She stopped suddenly at the sound of her name being called and she turned around to find a sleepy looking Heidi kneeling in the spot where she was just sleeping, her fist rubbing at her eye and her other clutching Penguin. Quinn just wanted to make sure the little girl wasn't sleeping and so she whispered; "Heidi?" As she expected, the tiny brunette asked; "Where you going?" And Quinn smiled as she realised poor Heidi was in fact awake as she now saw her fists were no longer fists and she was in fact staring straight at her. Obviously she inherited Rachel's early wake up genes! "Nowhere," Quinn replied quietly, afraid that Rachel would wake up too, "Just to get a glass of milk."

"Can I have one?" Heidi asked, which made Quinn laugh because she was ninety per cent sure the little one would want one too. Nodding her head Quinn agreed; "Of course."

"Can I come with you?" Heidi asked, sounding even brighter than before at the idea of going on an adventure: downstairs in the dark! "You should go back to sleep." Quinn told her, not wanting to get into trouble if Heidi was cranky in the morning for not getting enough sleep. But then, the little girl pouted at her slightly. "Please? I don't want you to be scared."

"Scared?" Quinn asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Of the dark." Heidi told her with an air of 'duh'. Quinn smiled and shook her head a little at the tiny girl, walking back to the bed. "Oh I'm not scared of the dark, sweetie." She told her softly, making sure she could convey to her that it would be okay if she herself was afraid of the dark. Heidi's tired eyes widened a little. "But there are monsters in the dark!" She exclaimed and this time Quinn laughed a little louder and put on a superhero smirk. "I think I can fight them off," she told her with a little wink. However she took in the look that Heidi was giving her and sighed. Like her oldest best friend Santana Lopez could never give in to her own girlfriend's pleading puppy dog eyes, Quinn couldn't refuse the look Heidi was giving her now. "Come on then," she announced, scooping up the light little girl into her arms and leading her towards the door.

Heidi rested her head on the blonde's shoulder and wrapped her tiny arms around her neck. "Quinn?" She whispered, and Quinn jiggled her in her arms replying with a light hum. "The monsters won't get mommy 'cause she's asleep and they can't get you whilst your asleep, even though you think they can." Quinn nodded at Heidi's logic: it all made perfect sense to her. She then listened as the mini Rachel continued. "The monsters won't get us either because we're together," Quinn smiled at her cuteness and then asked what she meant. "Whenever we go shopping or to the park or somewhere with lots of people, mommy and grandpa and grandpappy always say 'safety in numbers' which means that nothing bad can happen if I'm always with someone and that's the same for us because we're together." For the billionth time since she met Heidi, Quinn's heart melted into a puddle of sappy goo. Stopping at the top of the stairs, Quinn pressed her lips to Heidi's sleep-warm cheek. Heidi giggled as Quinn told her; "You really are the daughter of the most wonderful woman in the world and you are the most wonderful girl in the world."

Down the stairs in the early morning light, Quinn had fixed herself a tall glass of milk and Heidi a small pink plastic cup on milk of her own. They were now sat at the kitchen table where they would be eating their breakfast in a few hours' time, sipping at their drinks. For a moment, Quinn wanted to give Heidi an Oreo because that's generally what she would have to accompany her midnight milk, but again thought against it because she didn't want to get into trouble. "Quinn?" Once again the blonde was brought out of her daydream by the sweet voice of a brunette. She smiled sleepily at the little girl, who was kneeling on her chair staring into the milk. "Yes sweetheart?" She asked, stroking her hair and brushing it away from her young face with her fingertips to stop any milk going in the ends of her strands. "What did your daddy mean when he said 'You can't love her'?" Having heard the little girl's question shooting through her ears and booming inside her head, Quinn's jaw dropped and practically slammed on the carpet. Her throat made unintelligible noises and she tried to explain; her eyes wide with the shock of such a question. However before she could try to tell Heidi anything, the tiny brunette spoke again. "And what does a 'bastard' mean?" But the part that really made Quinn have to suck in all of her emotions – and tears – was when she asked, "And if I'm one like he said, does that mean it's a good thing, because my mommy always use good words to talk about me." The blonde looked into Heidi's light brown eyes and saw all of the questions in the world swirling around her orbs. She was completely right when she told her father just how wonderful Heidi was: she was smart and beautiful and was an absolute credit to not only her mother, but her father and grandfathers and her grandmother. "Heidi," Quinn breathed quietly, almost like a whisper. She was unable to say any more as she held the girl by her shoulders, gently and lovingly. Still staring into her eyes she shook her head and then blinked, feeling a lone tear trickle from her eye down her cheek. Lifting a hand off the girl's shoulder she then placed it on her cheek. Her own father had pushed her down and had probably hurt her more than they thought. She would get Rachel to check again, when it was time for her bath, to make sure she didn't have any bumps or bruises or any carpet burn marks. Now, however, she was content to place her hand on the small rosy cheek of a girl she considered her daughter, just like she had done in the car the day before, and tell her just how loved and wonderful she was.

Quinn looked into Heidi's young eyes and hoped that she would remember this conversation in the morning so they didn't have to have it again. "Heidi, that word that my daddy used was a very bad word and he should not have said it in front of you." Quinn spoke slowly and softly so that she would understand. Of course it would years until she knew what it really meant, but for now she just needed a simply explanation of never to repeat the word again. Heidi nodded her head at Quinn and listened as she spoke again. "You are a wonderful little girl and you are most certainly not that word okay? You are only the good words in the world, okay?" Again, Heidi nodded her head and then she clambered onto Quinn's lap, wrapping her tired arms around her neck.

Not long after Quinn hugged Heidi, the little girl announced she was ready for bed and Quinn carried her back up the stairs and the two of them snuggled with mommy, waiting for the next adventure they would have together.


	19. Making Friends

**Chapter Nineteen:**

**Making Friends**

Although the falling snow during the day was coming to an end, there was still a thick quilt of it resting over Lima, and Quinn thought it was about time she and Rachel took Heidi out to experience what fun they could have with the snow where they weren't restricted to the backyard. Over breakfast, whilst Heidi was spooning boring cereal into her mouth, Quinn reached over and took Rachel's hand in hers. The three of them were alone to eat their breakfast as Leroy and Hiram had to go to work, and Quinn sort of couldn't be happier. Even though she liked the men very much, she just felt a bit odd about sharing so much of her romantic side with Rachel in front of them. Yes it was their house and she didn't live there (overnight anyway) and they didn't mind the sweet kisses they shared and the adorable hand holding and late night cuddling, but it still felt a little odd to be so romantic with each other. She knew that at her own house with her mom she would feel a million times more awkward, especially since what happened at their brunch a few days prior.

Since the brunch, Quinn's father scowled at Quinn. She preferred it if he just kept out of her way and they pretended neither one of them were really there, but they just had to glare at each other. She had heard her mother trying to get husband to not do it so much, but Russell had shouted at her and told her that if she was really his wife, she would glare at Quinn too. Their conversation had ended with Judy crying into her glass of red wine and Quinn comforting her, telling her that they would keep their feud to themselves. Occasionally – when Quinn thought it best she should have dinner with her mother – she and her dad would try and be pleasant towards each other for her mother's sake, but that would always end up with a snide comment being made. The most recent was when Judy accidentally told Quinn she had bought Heidi a box of colours and could she please give them to her with a card. They were barely half way through their main course of beef, gravy, winter vegetables and potatoes when the comment was made. It was really just to break the horrible silenced, but then both Judy and Quinn wished the silence had just been continued.

"Quinn, before I forget, I walked past the new toy store today on my way home from the florist and couldn't help but buy Heidi a box of colours. Would you please give it to her?" Quinn had smiled at her mother, knowing just how Heidi would react knowing that the colours were from the 'Queen'. The little girl would either squeal in delight or begin to draw a new masterpiece for her right away, or she wouldn't touch them and just keep them on display for the whole world to see! She also giggled to herself when she thought of how Rachel would react, knowing just how many colours her young daughter had already. "Of course I'll give them to her. You know she already has, like, a billion crayons though?" She took another bite of her potato, still smiling at the image of Heidi squealing in delight once she saw the colours. Judy shrugged her shoulders and explained further; "Oh but these aren't just crayons. It had water colour paints and felt tips and-" But she wasn't allowed to continue as the beast sitting at the head of the table decided he had had enough at listening to a conversation that involved 'that thing's child'. "You're lucky you have your own money Judy," he growled, stabbing his fork into his meat, "Because if you didn't, I wouldn't allow you to waste money on anyone's children except for Frannie's boys," he then looked to Quinn and scowled further; "Our grandchildren." It took everything within her for Quinn not to yell at her father. Although he didn't know it, Quinn knew that she would marry Rachel one day and then Heidi would be his grandchild. Not that he deserved the honour of knowing Heidi. She also wanted to yell that he would have another granddaughter if it wasn't for him kicking her out of the house when she was sixteen years old. Of course, as she caught her mother's gaze, she simply washed away her anger with a glass of water. The table remained nearly silent for another ten minutes before Russell brought up his own conversation to engage Judy with. He no doubt was going to talk to the bank and try and make it so she couldn't buy purchases without talking to him first. It was this reason why Quinn would leave her house sometimes at six o'clock in the morning and crawl back into the house at eleven at night; just so she could be with Rachel and not have to witness these glares and damning conversations.

At least Heidi could have her new colours and be none the wiser.

Putting down her slice of toast, Rachel looked up at Quinn and smiled. For a little moment they just smiled at each other, listening to the way Heidi chewed her soggy cereal and slurped up the milk from her bowl. Quinn then picked up Rachel's small hand and began playing with the fingers, keeping her eyes focused on them. Her prefect eyebrows narrowed slightly as she focused on the intricate details of Rachel's hands. Then, once she had Rachel lulled into a 'false sense of security' Quinn opened her mouth and said in a calm, excited voice; "I think we should go to the park and make snow angels." Hearing the words 'park' and 'snow' in the same sentence and not spelled, Heidi threw her spoon down and beamed at her mother and Quinn. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" She chanted, squealing more and more with each repetition. Where Quinn chuckled at Heidi's known reaction, Rachel shook her head at the blonde, trying to scowl and look angry. However, seeing how excited her daughter was at simply going to the park – in the snow – she gave in and sent Heidi off to pick out the warm clothes she wanted to wear. The little girl scrambled off her chair and headed for the door, but then ran back and instead of leaping into her mother's arms for a hug, she ran to Quinn and clambered on her lap. Throwing her arms around Quinn's neck she squealed; "Thank you Quinn!" And then she proceeded to press her milky lips to Quinn's cheek and kissed her several times before running off again, not without leaving with a light tap to her bottom from her mother.

With the little one out of the room, Rachel had no problem in yanking her hand away and promptly hitting Quinn on the back of her pretty head. "Ouch!" Quinn exclaimed, although laughing, because she had a feeling that she would get hurt. She looked at Rachel, trying to hide her smirk, but couldn't when she saw Rachel's expression. She had one eyebrow raised and her lips pursed. "Oh come on Rachel," Quinn began to protest, "It's only a little snow!" And then Rachel huffed and tried to clear away the dishes. Quinn stood too and brought Heidi's half eaten bowl of cereal to her at the sink. With her back to Quinn, Rachel shrugged; "It's cold out Quinn," and the blonde had to roll her eyes. It was these conversation topics coming up that made Quinn announce their day's plans in front of the little girl. Quinn sighed with a smirk on her lips and wrapped her arms around Rachel's middle and pressed her lips to Rachel's shoulder. "It's cold in the yard too darling," she reasoned but then Rachel shrugged and suggested that maybe they shouldn't play out there either. Quinn then laughed and spun her girlfriend around and trapped her between the kitchen worktop and her body. She held onto Rachel's arms and began peppering her neck with not kisses, but sloppy raspberries that tickled her until she couldn't control herself any more. "Okay! Okay! Okay!" Rachel cried out, signalling her truce. The blonde then released her to go and get Heidi ready to face the 'Artic' with a light slap on her own backside.

For a while Quinn had been trying to figure out ways of making Rachel give in and allow Heidi to be the wild child she was and not constantly be wrapped in bubble wrap. Seeing how her raspberry technique went, she figured she would use it more often…

Dressed in acceptable attire to going to the park in the middle of winter, the three of them headed off for their day of fun. Along the way, Rachel and Quinn held onto Heidi's hands tightly to stop her from the possibility of slipping and listened to the little girl talk about how many snow angels she was going to make and that she was going to find a hill and go sledding. Before Rachel could protest to the 'dangerous activity of sledding' Quinn announced that it would be fun and that she might even buy her a sled of her own one day. This earned her a wide eye owl stare from Rachel, which was promptly taken care of by a chaste kiss on the lips.

Finally they arrived at the park and the gasp of amazement that escaped Heidi's mouth was priceless. "Wow!" She gasped and ran straight for a pile of snow, mother and Quinn running after her. "Heidi," the slightly paranoid mother called out, "Heidi slow down!" Rachel was about to go into full mother leopard sprinting mode, when she felt a gloved hand wrap around hers and she felt herself being tugged along. "Come on Rachel," Quinn beamed at her, "Let her have some fun!" Quinn pulled her along more, sinking into large piles of snow and skidding over slightly icy patches, until they were slightly out of breath. Still holding hands they came to a shuddering halt. Both woman panting breathlessly and joking that they really needed to work out more often. "Surely having a four year old would keep me fit!" Rachel laughed, keeping a close eye on said four (nearly five!) year old. Heidi was only a few metres away, stomping around and laughing at her tiny wellington boot footprints. Quinn smiled in Heidi's direction and remembered how she used to love making footprints in the snow too at that age. Not just the snow but sand and paint and one time when she and her family went to a vineyard in California she and Frannie stomped about in barrels of grapes! A flash of a future vacation came to her mind and she could just picture the delight on Heidi's face, being allowed to get messy in a barrel of grapes! Of course she wouldn't be able to drink the wine, but Quinn would make sure she had her own little bottle of grape juice to be included.

Turning her head slightly, the blonde watched with fascination as Rachel watched her daughter. Although she was constantly afraid of her precious little girl getting sick or lost or just afraid of the unknown, Quinn could clearly see the smile forming on her face. With their hands still linked together, Quinn pulled Rachel into her side and whispered; "Whatever happened to your elliptical?" It was only now did she notice that the contraption was no longer in Rachel's room. Rachel breathed out a little laugh as she shrugged her shoulders. "Dad and daddy have it now," she admitted, grinning at Heidi as she began to twirl around, holding her arms open and her palms facing the sky, "Don't get dizzy sweetheart!" She called and Heidi replied back that she wouldn't. The older brunette then gave her full attention to Quinn – almost. "Besides I don't need it with her," she told Quinn, motioning with her head to Heidi. "She's all the exercise I need!" Nodding her head, Quinn couldn't agree more. Sure, back in Chicago she was a work and exercise-aholic. If she wasn't in the office gym burning calories she was running to the gym near where she lived and running back. A child really was a better source of exercise; sure they probably cost more but they brought so much more joy!

Arms linked around each other's waists, Quinn and Rachel wandered to where Heidi was currently jumping up and down and squealing how much she loved the snow. Chuckling Quinn held out her hands and smoothed the pink bobble hat back on her head with a warning of; "Make sure to keep your hat on though okay? And your socks and boots because that's where all your body heats tries to get out." At this brand new information, Heidi stopped and looked up at Quinn. Even though she was wearing more layers than a child living in the North Pole would wear, her nose and cheeks were still red and glowing. Her eyes were shining brightly with the cold too and they only shined more when she asked; "Why does body heat leave through my head and feet?" To prove her point, she wiggled her pink boots and then her head. Rachel laughed and held her still by holding onto her shoulders, planting a kiss onto her cold cheek. "Because sweetheart," she began to explain, eyes flickering up Quinn for a moment to ask if she could explain. Holding her daughter around her shoulders, trying to keep her warm like a potato in an over, Rachel explained; "Your head and feet are like little doors. Your body is shaped like a tube of candy and there are two doors: your feet and your head. Like good doors they keep the heat inside your body but they also, somehow, let the heat get out." Even though she couldn't see her daughter's face, Rachel could picture the thinking face she was making. Her lips would be slightly pursed and they would only loosen once her head started nodding. Her nodding head was a sign that she understood. "And that's why I have to keep my hat and boots on," she announced, like the smartest girl in the world. Again, Rachel pressed a kiss on Heidi's cheek and whispered, "Exactly", to show just how proud she was of her genius daughter.

After a little while admiring the scenery of the winter wonderland before them, Quinn picked up one of Heidi's mitten covered hands and held it in her own – taking Rachel's as well. "Come on darlings," she exclaimed, "Let's go and make more footprints and see who has the biggest ones!" Excitedly, Heidi jumped up and down – straining her mother's and Quinn's arms – and tried to race forward. "Yours are the biggest Quinn!" She screamed in delight, still wanting to see if her footprints could be anywhere near as big as Quinn's or even her mommy's (because according to Heidi, her mommy was the best and 'best' in this context meant 'biggest'). Laughing at Heidi's beyond her year's logic, Quinn nodded her head and the three of them began to walk. Soon however the trio of walkers became and duo and a swinging monkey for Quinn and Rachel decided to surprise Heidi by swinging them between them. At first, Heidi was taken completely by surprise and screamed in fright, but after reassuring her that she would be okay, the two women did it again and again and soon all they could hear in the park was the little pink bundle of happiness's squeals.

They had been walking for what felt like only a few minutes when Quinn felt her phone vibrate and could hear the slight ringing of her 'Wicked' ringtone – due to Rachel's insistence. Carefully she and Rachel put Heidi down and Quinn checked who was ringing. To her disgust, it was her ex (or at least soon to be ex) husband. Growling slightly, Quinn raised the phone to her ear and told Rachel that this call wouldn't take long. Instead of eavesdropping, Rachel challenged Heidi to try and catch her in the snow. The mother began 'sprinting' whilst Heidi chased after her with her small arms wide open. For a moment, the blonde did nothing but watch them, but then realised she had a call to take. Angrily pressing the green button on her Smart Phone, she grumbled and spat; "What do you want?" She was met with a sigh and knew that apologies were going to follow. Or something just as bad. "Hey Quinn," the tired yet unfortunately familiar voice came mumbling through, "How are you?" At the question Quinn scoffed and shifted her feet so she could put on a more professional tone of voice rather than just an angry one. "I'm brilliant as a matter of fact because I know I'm not with someone who's screwing every woman under twenty five." By the pause in their very short conversation thus far, Quinn knew she had surprised him. A crackle came a few seconds later and she heard him say in a rather dejected tone; "You're seeing someone?" But then she heard the crackle again and his tone changed; "We're not divorced, you can't be dating someone!" Quinn scoffed again and reluctantly turned her back from the wonderful scene in front of her – Heidi had caught her mother and Rachel was now holding her and congratulating her with kisses.

Now that she wouldn't be distracted by something – or two someones – beautiful, she could focus on getting even more off her chest than she realised. Gripping the phone in her hand harder than before, she snarled; "I can do whatever the hell I want. You may not have finalised the papers yet, but I can assure you, in my eyes we are most definitely divorced." A sigh came through the phone and the man's annoyance was starting to really annoy her. "Quinn," he sighed, "I'm not signing the papers-" She didn't let him continue to tell her some excuse. She didn't want to hear it. She had already taken off her rings and was just waiting for the right time to pawn them so she could buy something really special with them. As far as she was aware, she was divorced. She would not have to speak to that man ever again. Her life in Chicago was over. Sure she may not have a job, besides working for her mother, yet living back in Lima, but that's why she had her savings: she could live off them for a little while. Besides, she didn't even want to law any more. It was true she would end up working in a law firm whilst in Lima (considering she had already been headhunted), but she didn't want to do that forever. What she wanted was to finally live her life the way she wanted to. The way she had always wanted to. She had stood up to her father about who she was and now had a family that meant the world to her. Well, they may not be her family yet, but she was certainly planning on making that detail come true. Career wise, she wanted to be like Rachel. Not a singer but an artist. Heidi was going to be raised by art what with Rachel being her mother and Louis being her father (his influence was definitely within her, she knew that, even if she had never met him) and so it was only right she be an artist too. Her art form may not have been performance as such, but definitely a topic she loved and knew Rachel would too.

"…Quinn are you even listening to me?" Even though she hadn't been watching Rachel or Heidi, she was still distracted by them. Like how a real family should be, she was always thinking of the two most important girls in her life and she couldn't be happier. Even if she was talking to a jerk she used to be married to. "Look I'm kind of busy right now," she huffed, fighting the urge to turn back round – the sound of Heidi's delighted laughter had either quietened down or stopped all together and the blonde was a little concerned. "What are you doing?" He asked and Quinn wanted to roll her eyes at him, not just at his voice, but himself. Smirking she straightened her posture and replied proudly; "I'm with my family. I'm with Rachel." She could have sworn she heard him gasp and she was almost one hundred per cent sure he was drinking something and had just choked on it because his next question came out strained; "You're with her?" Still smirking, Quinn lifted her head high and told him that yes, she was with Rachel. Next she pictured him looking like a bull because he then practically bellowed down the phone; "You left me to be with her? You're giving in to your dirty little ways? You bitch!" She wasn't quite sure what she was angrier at; the fact he called her a bitch, called her dirty or implied that she left him purely because of Rachel and that it had nothing to do with the fact he had been adulterous. Gritting her teeth she gave him as good as she got; "Yes I am with Rachel but not because I'm weak and 'gave in', as you so put it, to some 'dirty way', but because I love her. I loved her before I met you, I loved her whilst I was with you and I sure as hell am going to love her for the rest of my life!" She had more things to say, more to do with the fact she didn't leave him for Rachel at all; she left him because of what he did to her. However she wasn't given the chance because he then started to rage once more. "Screw this divorce, we're getting an annulment! No, we are getting a divorce and an annulment and I'm going to clean you out for every lying, cheating penny you have. Marrying me when you were in love with someone else; another woman for that matter! I'll see you in court!"

The phone call ended and all Quinn could hear was the fact he was going to take all her money. She was a lawyer and she knew she had the law on her side, but was there really a way where he could take more of her money? Surely they'd be able to do everything down the middle – which she didn't want to do anyway – and just leave it at that. But with the added addition that he was going to twist it so that it was a marriage of convenience for her and not for love, it was very possible that all these dreams and plans Quinn had for her new family were not going to come true for a little while. The big question; did she tell Rachel or keep her in her safe little bubble?

Whilst Quinn was taking her phone call – and mid-twirl of Heidi's victory dancing – Rachel had spotted a familiar face: Georgina, Lucy's mom from the school. Putting on her Show-face, Rachel put Heidi down and the two of them walked over to the small army of children (that were Georgina's offspring) and prepared to talk to her. As soon as the snooty woman saw Rachel, she immediately wished she hadn't come to the park. She – and the other mothers – had been trying to avoid the infamous Rachel Berry-Dexter but now it was going to be rather difficult: she and her children had only just arrived and she didn't want to have to use something as trivial as running an errand to spoil their fun. Still, like a lady, she put on her own Show-face and tried to not make it look as fake as it was.

"Hi Georgina," Rachel greeted and Heidi waved at the woman whom she didn't like but couldn't quite place a reason as to why. Still smiling stiffly at Rachel, Georgina replied; "Hello the Rachel," and then she looked down to a timid looking Heidi, "Hello Heidi," she greeted just as stiffly, but trying very hard not to come across as it. In reply the bundled girl simply waved and tried to hide behind her mother, but because she was holding her hand it wasn't possible. Rachel had never really made conversation with the woman and so when she asked, "Are you guys here to play in the snow too," she could have kicked herself with embarrassment. The ginger haired woman must have noticed too, because her smile changed into a snicker and she replied; "Yes of course, it's good to get the children out in the open sometimes and what better way to bond in a sibling way than by playing in the snow." Rachel looked over to where Georgina's children were playing and as far as she could see, the only 'bonding' they were experiencing was teasing each other and trying to pull one another's pants down so they could stuff snow down them. Still, the little girl Lucy was waving at Heidi and Rachel knew it would be a good idea for her to reconnect with her before they had to go back to school.

Looking back up at Georgina, Rachel relaxed her smile slightly and asked; "May Heidi join in playing with you guys?" However the question really caught Georgina off. There was no way she was going to allow her children to play with a child from a house of 'sin' , as she had been taught, and was just about to reply when Heidi squealed. The two mothers looked down at the girl and saw she was dusting snow off of her hat and trying to turn after Lucy. The other child had started a snowball fight and although Rachel didn't really want her daughter to be involved in one, who was she to really deny a game like this with a school friend? Like letting a dog off its leash, Rachel let go of Heidi's hand and watched as her daughter scoop up some snow and run after her target: laughing and calling out Lucy's name all the way.

For a short while the two mothers watched as snow was being flung from all directions. Where both mothers watched with a small ounce of fear on their faces, for if their child got hurt, Rachel couldn't help but see just how happy Heidi was playing with the other children. Of course she had played with other children before – at school and in baby groups – but this was different. She could see it and see that maybe she was being a little too paranoid. Yes on one hand children were harder to look after because they were so small and dependant on their parents, but now Rachel could see how when Heidi was a baby just how easy everything was! Now Rachel had to worry about Heidi falling or having a cold or a tummy ache or just worrying about her (thankfully rather rare) tantrums. Because of her own paranoia – that she was slowly starting to see and realise – Rachel had kept Heidi from being a normal little girl. The only people she had really known were her family, but she was the youngest. She didn't have any cousins or anyone that were of a similar age. Beth was okay because she was miniature grown up (or a grown up in the making) but Heidi was still a baby. For some reason Rachel only ever wanted Heidi to be with her family and even then she had to be with her no matter what. She was worried she was turning her daughter into a shy, recluse, wallflower. But no; her daughter was brilliant. Looking at her spectacular daughter running around in the snow with other children, she could see how her daughter was simply perfect.

She was so focused on watching Heidi; she hadn't noticed another body had joined her – and Georgina – until she felt the comforting arms around her waist, the chin on her shoulder and the kissing lips on her cheek. "Hey," she breathed, happy that Quinn was here to see just happy Heidi was running around in the snow. "Hey yourself," Quinn whispered back, a little huskier than before and squeezed Rachel's waist so that she giggled a little. Both of them completely ignored Georgia and because of this, they were completely unaware of her disapproving scowls. "Who was that?" The brunette asked, leaning back into Quinn's embrace. She sighed as she felt the blonde kiss her cheek once again, this time beginning to trail a small path down towards her neck. "Oh just a call about a job," Nonchalantly Quinn replied, but Rachel jumped and tried to turn around. "A job? Really," She squealed, mirroring Heidi's glorious sound when she got excited and Quinn couldn't help but smile and chuckle at the similarity. "Yeah, but it's nothing too important." She stated and began to unwrap herself from Rachel, just so she could hold onto Rachel's hand. Afraid that Quinn wasn't telling her something, she tugged Quinn's hand so they came face to face. "Tell me about it later?" She asked, widening her eyes so that Quinn understood that if it was important she could tell her. Sighing slightly, Quinn weighed up the pros and cons of telling her beautiful brunette the truth, but nodded her head; "Of course."

Then, mere seconds later after they had both squeezed each other's hands, Quinn smirked a devilish smile, swooped down and stuffed snow down Rachel's back, causing her to squeal. Quinn jumped back in surprise at the shriek and began to laugh loudly and wholeheartedly as she watched her precious princess jump around, waving her arms trying to get the snow out of her clothes. "Quinn Lucy Fabray that was not funny," Rachel screamed but when she turned around to look at Quinn, her face was breaking with how wide her smile was. "And you're going to pay for that!" Suddenly she lurched forward and tackled Quinn to the ground. She sat on the girl's stomach and took two handfuls of snow and pushed them into the blonde's face. Under her Quinn began to scream and Rachel laughed, pecking Quinn's neck before she got flipped over and covered in snow herself – again! As Rachel laughed at Quinn, putting more snow on her once she was snow free, Georgina cleared her throat and snarled; "Isn't that behaviour rather inappropriate what with our children around?" Wiping her cheeks clear of the freezing snow, Quinn lifted her head up and tried to see where Heidi was. The little girl was still running around and having fun: completely unaware of what she and her mommy were doing.

Standing – with Rachel's help – Quinn dusted off her clothes and cleared her throat, walking over to the woman who had her arms crossed and a scowl fixed on her face. She didn't like this woman. She reminded her of her father and for that reason she hated her. With Rachel tagging along because they were holding hands, Quinn walked right up into the woman's personal space. Instead of snarling back and putting on her old HBIC attitude, the blonde simply smiled at her and cheerfully said; "Come on darling, let's go and play with Heidi." As she pulled Rachel along again, her eyes twitched slightly at the flame haired woman; hoping that the tiny action would convey to her not to push her buttons.

Soon the two of them were running down to the almost out of breath little girl and were laughing like the children as well. Suddenly Rachel cackled and broke free of the hand she was holding and scooped up more snow and threw it perfectly in Quinn's pouting face. The blonde's face was now red with the cold of the snow and she was about to lunge her own snowball, until she saw the dirty tactic Rachel was using. As soon as the brunette had thrown her snowball, she had picked up a squealing Heidi and was now holding her out in front of her. "Mommy put me down!" The littlest brunette complained, kicking her legs and waving her arms. Raising an eyebrow Quinn smirked, "Yeah mommy put her down!" But Rachel was playing dirty; using her own child as a shield! "Never!" She cried and then began to run with Heidi. The mother and daughter laughed as Quinn pretended not to be able to catch them. "Come on Quinn," Heidi called out from over her mother's shoulder, "Catch us!" Along the way Quinn was collecting more and more snow and soon she had a pile big enough for a snow child!

Unfortunately, Heidi swapped sides and she somehow wriggled out of her mom's grip and grabbed her mother around the knees. Rachel went flying forward and landed in a perfect pile of somehow untouched snow. Where Heidi was jumping up and down with victory, yelling how she made "Mommy fall down", Quinn caught up with them and dumped all the snow she had gathered on top of Rachel. The woman cried out her truce and surrender through tears of laughter. Sinking to her knees, Quinn hovered over her and in a silly voice she asked loudly; "Do you surrender? Do you really surrender," to which Rachel replied by grabbing Quinn's shoulders and pulled her to lie next to her. "Yes I surrender!" Rachel cried out and as a reward, planted a soft, sweet, chaste kiss onto Quinn's lips all the while Heidi jumped up and down announcing; "Yay mommy loses and Quinn wins! I win!" The two adults weren't quite sure how Heidi won, but they didn't care. Instead of questioning it, they pulled her down to join in with their rolling around in the snow. "We're polar bears!" Heidi told them and again, Quinn and Rachel smiled at just how smart their little girl was.

By the time they had finished being 'polar bears' and had re-joined Georgina and her brood, the children had glum faces and one of them was complaining. Quinn narrowed her eyebrows at the way the two youngest children were being forced to hold their mother's hands – coincidently or not, these were the two children Heidi had been playing with the most. "Hey are you guys leaving?" Rachel asked, innocently and hoisting Heidi up on her hip like she used to do when she was a toddler. Georgina's hawk eyes flickered from the entwined hands of Rachel and Quinn to their eyes and answered; "Yes we have to get going. It's cold out and the children should really be back indoors." Mentioning the cold, Rachel gripped onto Heidi a little tighter; even though she had been complaining that she was hot because of all the layers she had on, the mother was still aware that it was cold out. "Maybe the girls can play with each other another time soon then? A play date at our house perhaps?" Rachel suggested, smiling at Heidi who nodded her head enthusiastically and then looking at Lucy who mirrored her facial expression. Georgina however, shook her head. "I don't think it's possible." For a moment Rachel and Quinn waited for an excuse, but when none came, Quinn spoke up. "What about over the weekend? If the kids have classes or something after school then what about on the weekend?" But again Georgina shook her head; "No, the children have sports and music and a vast array of other activities every day." Hearing the timeless excuse, Quinn scoffed; "Jeez do they have any fun that isn't scheduled?"

Those hawk eyes fixated on Quinn's and now the blonde had no problem in holding back her HBIC tone. Georgina inhaled and said as coldly as the weather; "I would appreciate it if you didn't use the Lord's name in vain like that." Quinn knew exactly how to handle 'Christian Banter' but right now didn't seem appropriate; what with Heidi watching her too. Before she could retort back, Georgina shook her children's hands to get them moving – like the reins on a horse – and said; "We must dash," and that was it. Their conversation was over and the mother walked away with her offspring. The silence of no one speaking was broken by Heidi calling out, "Bye Lucy," but the little girl was unfortunately ignored as it was obvious her mother had told her not to reply back. And it made Quinn's blood sizzle.

Both Rachel and Quinn watched Georgina walk away. Heidi scrambled out of her mother's hold and began to make a snowman – "I've been wanting to do it since we got here!" – And she hummed and sang little made up songs to herself. Quinn held Rachel a little tighter and pressed a delicate kiss on the top of her hat covered head, wishing she could take it off and kiss the fruity smelling locks she loved so much. "Rachel," Quinn began, a little hesitantly. It had been on her mind for a while but she had just never known how to bring up the topic. Now, however, with what just happened, it was the perfect opportunity. "Rachel has Heidi ever been on any play dates?" The question made Rachel freeze but being as good an actress as she was, she relaxed. Shrugging her shoulders Rachel smiled and pressed a kiss to Quinn's frost frozen red cheek. Then, turning to Heidi she gaped; "Heidi that is a wonderful snowman!" She then broke away from Quinn's hold and walked over to pick up her little girl: leaving Quinn in the cold. "It's not a snowman mommy, it's a snow-mommy!" Heidi explained and Rachel congratulated and praised her further and began to tell her that because she was so good and her snow-mommy was so good too, she would treat her to a hot chocolate.

For the rest of their time out together, at a cute little café where Heidi drank hot chocolate and ate a blueberry muffin, Quinn couldn't help but wonder about Rachel and Heidi. Yes she knew she had abandonment issues and didn't like to leave Heidi alone, but did that also really mean she hadn't allowed her daughter to go on play dates? Real ones? Were the only people she really interacted with just her family? If that was true, then Quinn added yet one more thing to her list. She would not allow Heidi to become another Rachel Berry in the sense that she was isolated from her peers for years. Yes this time it would be because of her mother's own fears, but Quinn would not allow it and she would start this break by enrolling Heidi into swim classes: the perfect way for socialising to be educational.


	20. Leap Year

**Hi everyone! Sorry this has taken so long to upload but I literally had no idea how to progress every time I got to a certain point - plus I've been busy with life and other stories, so for that I apologise! **

**Thank you to everyone who reads and everyone who reads and reviews; they mean so much to me it's unreal! **

**Anywho, here is the next chapter! **

**Chapter Twenty**

**Leap Year**

January seemed to fly by without so much of a blink, and it appeared that February was going just as fast. Where it felt sometimes that everything in their lives was turning into a game of fun and joy one moment, to disaster and anger the next, there was one part of their lives that Quinn was sure would make everything that little bit better. For a long time now Quinn had been thinking of the future. It was all she ever thought of; her future career and doing something she actually enjoyed, her family's future – that being Rachel and Heidi's future. But most importantly she had been thinking of how to get Rachel back to doing what she loved: singing.

Ever since she heard her sing 'Whispering', Quinn knew that Rachel still wanted to sing, and she hoped that she had been the one to give her the push to get her to sing. Getting her to sing 'Auld Lang Syne' at New Year was a miracle, and the blonde was convinced it was only because Heidi had shone those twinkling eyes at her and given her an adorable smile. Now to get her back to New York and back to the bright lights of Broadway…this would be the biggest challenge she would have to face involving Rachel and singing. Of course, getting Rachel back to New York alone would be a tough challenge. Not only was this a place of refuge for both of them, it was Heidi's home and all she had ever known. Where New York was a glorious, magical, spectacular place for teenagers and adults, for an almost five year old? It would be a scary place. Moving anywhere was a scary experience, and there were the matters of finding a school and house suitable for her. Dreaming of having a family, Quinn had always thought she would live in a simple, but pretty, two-story house with a back yard and a little driveway where her children could learn to ride their bike safely and where she could chase them with a hose in the summer and plant vegetable patches in the autumn. She hadn't imagined living in an apartment building with a young child, but as does life, plans change and when Rachel got back onto the Broadway stage, Quinn would make sure all three of them were able to live comfortably. Even if that meant living in New Jersey or some part of New York City that wasn't so close to the theatres. Quinn would make sure that not only did Rachel get her dream back, but Heidi would get her childhood.

Apart from her dream of living with Rachel and having a family with Rachel, the other thing that had been occupying Quinn's mind was the threat from her ex. Or soon to be ex. Where he was stupid and weak in relationships, in business and getting what he wanted he was certainly smart and strong. Since their phone call, Quinn had been receiving letter after letter from his lawyers demanding she fly back to Chicago so they can start the court proceedings and so that their client could "Get what he deserved." The burden of knowing that he was going to try and take all of her money and security was weighing down on her dramatically; her work was suffering and she wasn't sleeping but there was no way she would let Rachel know. Her sweet girlfriend didn't need to know that she had been slacking on cases, spacing out and going overtime on her lunch breaks so she could negotiate with his lawyers. There was no way she was going to let him destroy all of the security she had spent years building. In her mind, she knew exactly what she was going to do just so she didn't have to go to court: give him the apartment and her car and a quarter of what she had saved up instead of the half he was technically entitled to. The car and the apartment made up for more than that half anyway! Plus, as hard as it would be, she wouldn't continue to bring up the countless affairs he had divulged in. Sure, she would mention the fact their marriage should have been over and done with once they found out he couldn't have children, but she would be careful so that he didn't base his whole argument on her never truly gone feelings for Rachel.

The court would lap that up like kittens with milk. Where, yes it was true she had never really gotten over her feelings for Rachel; she couldn't be accused of not trying. She tried to make her marriage work. She had tried to be romantic and sexy and 'pleasing' but in the end if the spark isn't there, it isn't there. And really the added bonus of them not being able to have children should really set her in the favour; she could play the 'woman's duty to have a child' card. But then, they would blame her for not overlooking it. Like all cases of domestic affairs, they could go round and round in never ending circles of blame and fault. And she would keep it from Rachel for as long as possible. As long as they had enough money for a little while they would be okay. She still had her rings to pawn off and still had her money, so really, she shouldn't tell Rachel something that could potentially put on hold what they had.

For now, sat with her mom over coffee whilst Rachel was at work and Heidi was in kindergarten, Quinn had begun contemplating asking for some advice. It was clear to everyone that Quinn was madly in love with Rachel, and that they had never let go or forgotten their feelings for one another. As a teenager and young woman, Quinn had decided she wanted to marry Rachel and it was just that life – and circumstances – kept getting in the way. Now seemed like a great time to not only start thinking about it, but actually putting her dreams into reality. Action was now needed to get their lives moving. She not only dreamed at night, but found herself during the day thinking of what it would be like being married to Rachel; picturing blissful days and adorable nights. They're lives would be the same, but still change dramatically. Quinn wanted them to be a family and be together for real. She wanted to introduce herself as Rachel's wife and Heidi's other mom. Where Heidi was concerned, things may be a little more complicated, but then again getting married itself was complicated. She wanted to buy and live in a house with Rachel and Heidi and she wanted to provide for them. Sure she may not have the job of her own dream yet, but she was working on it and sure, her soon to be ex was going to cause problems, but as long as she had a promise and a reality that's all Quinn cared about. Like Rachel (or at least the old Rachel) she was driven and knew what she wanted and she was damn well going to get it.

Noticing her daughter wasn't really listening to her, Judy snapped her fingers and laughed at Quinn's caught out expression. "What's got you so distracted, huh Quinnie?" She chuckled, shaking her head and assuming her youngest was simply daydreaming about her little brunette girlfriend and another even littler brunette. Quinn blinked a few times – as a way to physically clear her head – before focusing completely on her mother. "Sorry," she sighed, trying to really smile and not make it look (or feel) forced, "I guess I have just got a lot on my mind lately." Judy's brow furrowed slightly and she cocked her head. "Something you want to talk about, sweetie?" At her mother's question, Quinn shrugged and puffed out a push of sarcastic air. Yes she did want to talk to her mother but she felt she couldn't. Well actually she was conflicted yet again. During the conversation with her mom, on a loop in her mind, she had been imagining the perfect way to ask for Rachel's hand. What better time than the present right? But shouldn't she at least talk to Rachel about it first? When she and her ex got married, they had talked about it first. Well, he had asked her dad for permission (as expected) and they had talked about it before hand. The movies she had spent her life watching were very misleading. In this fictional life, the guy would plan some elaborate down-on-one-knee, surprise proposal. In her reality, and most likely a lot of people's realities, the couple would talk about it and just get a ring and then the girl would be asked – because that was also expected.

But Quinn didn't want that. She didn't want that for her Rachel. She didn't know how Louis proposed to her and she didn't want to know. She didn't want to know if he had got the cast and crew of their Broadway show to sing her a love song and he asked, or if he stopped a performance to ask her in front of the thousands of people that were watching the show, or if he simply serenaded her by himself. She didn't want to know because she wanted to propose in her own way and if she mentioned it to Rachel, then obviously she would twig on to what was happening. But she didn't want to just spring it on her. Did she? The blonde was sure that Rachel would want to spend the rest of her (and Heidi's) life with her, but is the best way really to surprise her? If Rachel was on her own then it would be easier, but of course there was that little, smiling, sparkling body of happiness in their lives that was a major factor to deal with.

In a way, the blonde wouldn't just be marrying Rachel but she would be marrying Heidi too. Not that she would ever call or refer to the tiny being as 'baggage' but that kind of was what she was. She was part of Rachel's baggage and package deal and that had to be taken into account. Where Quinn had no problems with adopting Heidi as her own, would Rachel really want Quinn to be a parent to her child and would Heidi want another parent? Sure, her grandfathers acted as parents, but if they were buy their own house and make themselves a home together, Quinn would be a form of authority too and even though Heidi was still young, she wasn't stupid: she would know that Quinn was partly in charge too. Plus, what would she be called? Where she would probably cry every time were she to be called 'Mom' it would still be weird to be called Quinn. She was called Quinn now but…but would she still want to be called Quinn if and when they got married?

And there was one other matter that Quinn had been incredibly patient with: the couple still hadn't engaged in sexual activities. Never wold Quinn pressure Rachel into doing that, but once they were married…wouldn't they have to?

"Quinn you need to stop doing that."

Again the sound of her mother's voice woke her up (or snapped her) from her daydream of overthinking things. This time Quinn shook her head and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes and pressed down hard, mumbling that she was sorry and even sniffled. It was the sniffle that really worried Judy and instead of just watching her daughter with a concerned face, she leapt up and wrapped her in her arms. "It's okay sweetheart," she cooed and this time Quinn laughed and pushed herself away from her mother. Her face was smiling but her eyes were still crying. "I'm not sad I promise," she laughed again and wiped her eyes.

Now Judy was even more confused. Her eyebrows furrowed again but instead of asking, she simply moved the hair from her daughter's eyes and waited for her to talk. Quinn had always been a quiet girl. She never really showed her emotions until it was too late. She had hoped over the years her daughter would break out of that. Especially since living in the emotionally repressed household she had grown up in. It appeared, however, Quinn was just a girl who didn't like to show her emotions too often. Now, however, appeared to be one of those occasions where she didn't mind showing her emotions. Her daughter – who no matter how old she was would always be her baby – shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her head was bent and she was taking some deep breaths. Clearly she was collecting herself and trying to figure out how to say something. Having been raised in an almost identical way to Quinn, Judy was very good at waiting to be spoken too: it was something they were both good at.

Suddenly Quinn spoke; "I'm going to ask Rachel to marry me." The declaration was a little shocking for Judy. So shocking in fact, she actually gasped and the sounded made Quinn look up at her mother. Her eyebrows were raised and her mouth was hanging open in a slightly comical 'O' shape. Even though Quinn had already told her that she was going to ask Rachel to marry her, and she had told her about giving her "A bible full of blessings" the reality of it, she didn't actually think Quinn would. She didn't think that Quinn really would propose to her, and that they would stay girlfriends. Being a wife was so different to being a girlfriend; of course, Quinn knew that, but it was surely different being a wife of another woman than to a man. Yes her daughter loved Rachel, but like she had asked before; was she really prepared to be a second mother too? She had really thought that…well, it didn't matter what she thought. It was clear that Quinn wanted to marry Rachel, and it was her job as a mother to fully make her understand the severity of her choice. Her father would not approve and would surely disown her. Although her relationship with Russell hadn't been anywhere near the same after she told him of her pregnancy with Beth and then of her relationship with Rachel the first time round, she knew this would be the final nail in the coffin. When Quinn got married to Eric, he was thrilled; "I'm glad she's finally come to her senses!" He had told Judy on the night of Quinn's wedding day, and Judy had sighed. She hadn't come to any senses; she was only trying to please and to follow. Now as a mother, Judy had to fully prepare her daughter for the inevitable disowning. Yes, that man had hurt a girl that Quinn considered her daughter, and once they were married there was going to be nothing standing in his way to hurt the three of them again: physically or emotionally.

In any other situation, Quinn would have probably laughed. As this wasn't any other situation, however, she didn't and simply dropped her head back down. Disappointment was flooding through her body. Surely her mom could see just how much she loved Rachel – and how much she loved Heidi – and really expected her mother to react a little differently. Well, actually, she wanted her to react _a lot_ differently. However, at the same time, a small part of her wasn't too surprised; she had a niggling feeling that her mother wouldn't suddenly be jumping up and down, squealing and streaming tears of happiness down her face and babbling on about dresses and venues and calling everyone she knew. But still, after everything that had happened, she really hoped and wished that she would have reacted like she would if she was marrying a man.

Her head shook slowly and she took a deep breath, trying to hold back any tears that may suddenly threaten to fall. "It's okay if you don't approve," she sighed, looking up at her mother with tired, sad eyes and shrugging her shoulders as she continued. "I was just hoping you had some sort of advice on…well…I don't know, maybe how to propose to her and then…well I guess ask you on some advice on actually having the wedding…" She trailed off, her eyes drifting away from those of her mother's. Her shoulders shrugged once again and she stood up, dusting herself off. "I think I'd better go." She stated and began to head towards the living room door. It was only then did Judy shake herself out of her shock bubble and looked towards her daughter. "Quinn wait!" She called out, a little more dramatically that needed. Her daughter stopped a few feet away from her, but she didn't turn around; she simply waited for her mother to give her reason to. "Let's talk about this, okay?" To Quinn, her mother sounded a little desperate. A pleading tone was heard in her voice and this intrigued the younger blonde.

Like a clockwork toy, Quinn turned around and faced her mother, an eyebrow raised and her arms stuck by her side; ready to take off once again if she needed to. From her spot on the couch, Judy gave her a timid, tight smile and patted the seat next to her. Quietly – and more just to herself – Quinn sighed and then did as she was instructed to. She took her time, her steps were small and controlled but inside her chest her heart was pumping a little too quickly to be classed as healthy. Still, once she sat down next to her mom, she tried to relax. Her mother nodded, to herself or to her daughter, Quinn wasn't quite sure, but this appeared to be a way in.

Taking a quick breath, Judy picked up her daughter's hand and held it in her own; squeezing it in her lap. "Quinn," she exhaled, looking into dazzling hazel-green eyes. "I am excited," she stated and Quinn's other eyebrow rose in surprise. Judy ignored it however, and continued to talk; "I want to congratulate you on your impending engagement but…" She frowned, unsure whether she should say what she was thinking. Quinn however didn't appreciate the cliff-hanger she was left on. "But what, mom?" She asked with a little irritation to her tone. She watched as the older woman's shoulders lowered with a silent exhale. Her hand was released and Quinn brought it to rest in her own lap: whatever her mom was going to say was going to be negatively important and it was probably a good idea that they weren't tethered together by their hands.

"You won't be able to get married, Quinn." Her mother announced in a regretful and almost heart-breaking tone. Almost as soon as the beat of her mother talking and her ears hearing the words, Quinn frowned and her hands gripped in fists. Before her daughter could grow too angry, however, Judy shook her head a little frantically. "You need to hear me out," she stated in a serious tone. It was a little amazing to Quinn how quickly her mother could change emotions: from sounding sorry to heartbroken to suddenly serious made the younger blonde think she was bipolar or something, but she nodded her head stiffly and unclenched her hands. Resting her palms on her knees she shook her hair so it didn't feel as heavy and said; "I'm listening," in a similar serious tone as her mother. Another beat past and then Judy nodded herself and began to explain why it was that Quinn couldn't get married, which therefore implied she probably couldn't even get engaged (even though her mom had already congratulated her).

In her seat, Judy sat up a little straighter and she reminded Quinn of a woman about to make a sales pitch or a proposition as a CEO of some massive, multimillion dollar company. Strangely enough, this simple action of wiggling her back and flexing her shoulders a little, made Quinn sit up and want to listen. Although like any good 'business woman' Quinn knew she was listening out for the positives that would benefit her. In her mind, however, any excuse or reason as to why she couldn't marry the woman she loved and build a family for herself (providing one for Heidi too) was surely something she would not take into great account. "First," Judy started, Rachel is a widow and you have to be careful. You need to tread lightly." Already, Quinn could feel herself getting worked up. This point had crossed her mind, but hearing it out loud suddenly infuriated her. "I know that!" She snapped, but her mother didn't blink or wince at all, "I know that Rachel's a widow but I've helped her get through it. I should have been there the moment Louis died because she's been suffering ever since, but because of me and my love she's been able to-"

"I know Quinn," with a stern tone Judy interrupted and Quinn saw just where she inherited her silencer stare. Her mother stared her down with her original look, and Quinn pursed her lips, allowing Judy the chance to continue speaking. "Second, you yourself are not completely single. Your divorce is not yet quite final and from what I can see, things are going to get very messy." Judy's look now changed to a pointed 'Tell me I'm wrong' stare and Quinn felt herself gulp with anger and shame.

Yes it was true. The divorce process was not going to be easy. Her idiot of an – almost – ex-husband was going to try and take every penny Quinn had and was going to use her relationship with Rachel to do that, but she was a good lawyer. One of the best. Even if her stupid ex bosses didn't realise it, purely because of her gender. She knew she could fight fire with fire, and the flames her jackass – almost – ex-husband had were nothing compared to the volcano lava fires she could throw at him. Him and his lawyers. Where she didn't want to keep secrets from Rachel, this would just have to be something she wanted to keep her in the dark about for as long as possible. Her goal was to keep a normal, loving, family life for her and for Heidi as much as possible. Where Rachel needed to know about the progression at some point, Heidi was going to be kept away from the 'grown up' things as much as Quinn could hide her from it.

"Third, and this is the big one that is not so easily sorted," She paused (probably for dramatic effect) and waited for the signal of Quinn nodding her head before she continued. "This state does not recognise gay marriage." This was the blow that really had Quinn angry. She was full aware that Ohio didn't accept gay marriage as of yet, and her eye twitched with anger when she thought about it. Still, she kept her eyes on her mom's and waited for her to finish before she had her turn to speak. To retaliate. To prove that she was going to propose to and marry Rachel: she was going to make a family and she didn't care who objected it. Judy kept holding Quinn's gaze and finished her three points of argument. "Even if you girls did get engaged and had some form of ceremony, like I'm sure Rachel's father's had all those years ago, you wouldn't be recognised as a married couple. You'll be in a civil partnership and even then you'll hardly be taken seriously." She sighed and her eyes flickered down to the ground for a mere second before hitting her final, devastating blow. "You probably wouldn't even be allowed to adopt Heidi as your own." Even though the movement was subtle, the mother could still see her daughter's face harden at the prospect of possibly not being able to call either of the girls in her life 'her own'. Feeling that her 'pitch' was over, she leant over and took hold of Quinn's stiff hand again. "You know the law, Quinnie," she whispered softly, thinking now was the time to be a mother and not a solicitor or any other kind of person other than 'mom'.

Although Quinn had been furious with almost everything her mom had said, she knew that it was all true. Of course it was. She knew just how hard it would be for Rachel to accept being married, even though she loved Quinn with all her heart. It was one thing from being committed girlfriends, but wives? Quinn – in their eyes anyway – would be a mother to Heidi and that would be something completely different than just being 'mommy's special friend'. As much as they both like to think that being wives wouldn't be so different, the fact that a whole bunch of legality would then be placed upon them, as well as emotional aspects, would be tough. And, if she was still thinking about legality, her divorce wasn't final. In fact, she would probably have to go to Chicago soon for a hearing and that would just be awful. And Heidi. Poor Heidi. Quinn had already lost one daughter; she didn't think she could bear loosing another. As she had said time and time again, she loved that little girl and already thought of her as her own. Why was life so unfair? She found herself asking her mind – and God. All she wanted to be happy. She had been in an unhappy marriage due to her pinning over Rachel and now she was with her, she was still stuck because of that unhappy marriage. And, to top it all off, she wanted to be a second mother to Heidi and yet she probably wouldn't be able to.

Not here.

Not in Lima, Ohio.

"We won't get married here." Quinn stated simply and refocused her gaze on her mom. Her quiet outburst was calm and collected but still powerful. She felt her mother's hand grip onto hers tightly for a moment and then release – the squeeze was reassuring and loving and Quinn sighed softly as she told her mom of her plans. "We won't get married here; we'll get married in New York and we'll make our lives in New York." She wasn't finished, but wanted to check if her mother had any sort of input. She didn't. A smile and head nod was all she provided and Quinn carried on. Instead of just telling her mother she wanted to marry Rachel, she ended up spilling her entire life plan she had for the little trio she was in: her plans for her girlfriend and her girlfriend's daughter. "I want to get Rachel back to New York." She blurted, shaking her head she continued with a passion that was heavy and wild; "She doesn't belong her, mom. Neither of them does. Rachel is special; she's so special and I can't handle the fact that some psychotic beasts came and destroyed her life. Singing is her everything. I mean…I know me and Heidi are her everything but we're not, mom. We're not. Singing is her passion and her life and I have to get her back there." A little out of breath from her desperate rant, Quinn gave her mom a determined smile and Judy nodded her head at her daughter.

The love Quinn had for her Rachel and Heidi could be seen – as cheesy and over done as it was – from a satellite in space. As Quinn spoke about her future plans for Rachel, she smiled softly and that soft smile grew wider and wider until she was practically beaming. The younger blonde – sometimes she was convinced she was her clone – noticed her smiling and found herself smiling at her mother with a light blush to her cheeks. "Did I say too much?" She asked in a little coy voice that Judy hadn't heard in a long time. Slowly, and proudly, Judy shook her head and gave her daughter's hand another little squeeze. "Probably," she chuckled, and Quinn chuckled with her; that little blush growing. "But I am very glad you told me all that. I'm very proud of you," seeing the confused look her daughter gave her, Judy placed a hand on Quinn's warm cheeked and gently stroked her skin with the back of her knuckles, moving her hand to her hair and tucking a loose strand being her ears. "I'm so glad and proud that you know what you want to do. You want to not only rebuild a life for yourself but you want to rebuild Rachel's, and in turn Heidi's. Taking on a child is hard work, Quinn. But you know that. And I'm so glad you have things figured out." She beamed at her daughter; modestly and quietly and Quinn returned the beam, thanking her mom quietly. "However," Judy said, and saw the pretty smile on her daughter's beautiful face fall a little. "Propose to Rachel and talk about things, but don't rush her into anything. Don't rush her into getting married and moving back to New York. Restarting her career is going to be tough. She hasn't sung on a Broadway stage since she was pregnant, and _married_, and the last time she _was_ on that stage, she nearly died." Quinn nodded her head, knowing exactly what her mom was saying. She knew it was true. She knew it was all true. "And don't forget Heidi; she'll need to go to school and you'll need to find an apartment with enough room for a growing young girl and–"

"I've thought all about this mom," Quinn jumped in with an excitable force. Judy jumped back a little in her seat, but kept smiling. "Bottom line mom," Quinn said, leaning in and smiling brightly at her mother, "I won't rush her into anything. All I know is, I want to put a ring on Rachel's finger and I want us to seal a promise that we'll always be together no matter what." Judy nodded her head once again; proud that Quinn wasn't going to rush into anything, telling her that she was happy for her and glad that she was finally doing something with her life that she was happy with.

The two parted with what Quinn had wanted all along: happiness, excitement, and a promise of her mother's support.

Later on that week, Quinn had gathered up enough courage to announce her engagement plans to someone else. Well, two people. Like any traditional and romantic story would tell her, Quinn knew she had to ask Rachel's father's for permission to marry her. Where it could be seen as something dated and boring and not really done any more, Quinn wanted to do it right. She didn't know if Louis had done it and she didn't really care. Where a part of her wanted to keep her proposal a secret, and wanted her and Rachel to surprise everyone with their announcement (that she hoped would be a positive one) another part of her still wanted to do things in the traditional fairy tale sense of 'right'. So, whilst Rachel was upstairs with Heidi, trying to wash the rainbow of paint that the little girl had covered herself in (which was _not_ planned by Quinn), Quinn managed to sit Leroy and Hiram down in the family room for one of the most important 'chats' of her life with the two men.

It was no secret that they weren't always her number one fans. Sure, when she and Rachel were dating when they were teenagers they liked her – Hiram more so than Leroy – but when she had humiliated and upset Rachel in one of the most awful ways possible and then made her way back into their daughter's life, and that of their granddaughter's, they were obviously wary. Where they – especially Leroy – had now come to terms with the fact that Quinn was indeed in love with Rachel and loved Heidi just as much, they weren't so cautious of her. Just her father. But then, no one can pick their family. She sat them down on the comfy couches and wrung her hands together. Suddenly she was nervous. Very nervous. Almost as nervous as when she turned up at Rachel's house on her very first meeting of the infamous Mr Berrys and when she returned after ten long years. Her hazel green eyes were flickering between those of Leroy and Hiram Berry; men who could one day soon be her father in laws, and she was suddenly aware with how much time she had before Rachel came back down the stairs after tucking in her little pixie star and wanting to cuddle up with Quinn whilst chastising her. (She hadn't really intended for Heidi to so messy, but what could she do? She was a four year old who liked to paint, and when Quinn suggested full body painting instead of just finger or foot painting, well, there was no chance she was going to resist!)

After waiting for a little while without any explanation or reason as to _what_ exactly waiting for, Leroy cleared his throat and asked; "So Quinn, what is it you wanted to talk to us about?" It was the perfect way in. She had to talk now; otherwise she would just look suspiciously stupid. Now she had to pick a plan of action. How was she going to tackle this? Was she going to play everything cool or formal or romantic or…just say it? And what? What was she going to say? Could she really just blurt out that she wanted to marry their only daughter after only dating her for a relatively short period of time? Really, how long had they dated for? It felt like forever, but really, it was only a few months. Was she really prepared to possibly ruin this perfect relationship they had? What would happen if Rachel said no, if she wasn't ready? Sure, they didn't have to get married the very next day, but what if Rachel didn't want to? Louis had been dead for nearly five years, and it was clear she had moved on from him but…but marriage, as her mom had said, was something legal. It was public and grown up and scary and–

"Quinn?"

Once again she was snapped out of her rambling thoughts by a parent. Her eyes fixed on those of Hiram and tried to reflect his soft smile. Failing to do so, however, she took a deep breath and tried to focus her gaze on both men at the same time. Nodding to herself, she finally found the courage to simply ask them for their permission to take their daughter's hand in marriage. She found like in most situations, she didn't need to over think anything. All she needed to do was tell them. To do what she did with her mother and just blurt it out; "I'd like to ask for your permission to ask Rachel to marry her." Once she had finished 'blurting', she sat against the back of the couch and exhaled heavily. She supposed the hardest part was over: she had asked, and now she just needed to wait for an answer.

In front of her, barely a few feet away, she saw Hiram's mouth drop open and his eyes balloon wide. She also saw little Rachel Berry tears in his eyes, and saw once again exactly where Rachel got her dramatic crying on cue skills from. "Oh my goodness!" He gasped, and Quinn couldn't help but smile at him. He was clearly in some sort of shock, but the blonde was hoping that it was happy shock and not the kind of shock that meant he would _need_ a shock to get him breathing again. Before she said anything in reply to his gasp, she looked over to Leroy, who looked as stone faced as ever. More so than usual and it reminded Quinn of when she came back into Rachel's life. He presented himself as the true 'Godfather' and Quinn could hear the violins and smell the cigar smoke already. "You want to marry Rachel?" In a deep and serious, almost disbelieving tone, he asked Quinn and she nodded her head slowly. She wanted to be frantic and excited, but she didn't think it was quite the right thing to do at that given moment. Hiram turned towards his husband with a frown. "Of course she wants to marry her!" He exclaimed, raising his eyebrows at his husband. "Can you not see how much she loves her? Oh Leroy it'll be wonderful!" Hiram was clearly on board with the idea of his daughter not only being proposed to by Quinn, but marrying her. He suddenly jumped off the couch and rushed over to Quinn, engulfing her in a bone crunching hug. Quinn laughed into the embrace and giggled out her thanks to him. This was the reaction she had wanted all along. She had wanted her mother to hug her and tell her how excited she was. Eventually, she got a response like that, but it felt nice being given one almost straight away.

Hiram pulled back, however, and the two sets of eyes looked over to Leroy. His eyes were squinting and his eyebrows were narrowed. He appeared to be trying to intimidate Quinn, but the blonde was not going to be intimidated by him. He may have at one point, but now she knew that she had to stand up to him. She did when she and Rachel told him that her father had hurt Heidi, and now she was going to stand up for herself now. Rachel was important to her and she was going to marry her. Well, she was going to propose to her and then hope Rachel would say yes so they could then get married. Sat next to her, Hiram had been holding her hand but now she was being death stared at by his husband, Quinn graciously let go of his hand and stood up to walk up to Leroy. Her shoulders were pushed back and her head was tilted up slightly. From his seated position, Leroy looked up at her and waited for her to talk. He knew that the young blonde would have something to say about his dismissal of her impending proposal to Rachel. He was just waiting for a confrontation.

She stood in front of Leroy and looked down at him. "Leroy," Quinn spoke and didn't curse herself internally for not calling him 'Mr Berry' as she imagined herself doing when she thought about how she was going to ask for their permission.

"I love Rachel. You have to know that. I love her with all my heart and all my soul and everything I have," she knew that she was technically quoting one of the prayers she had heard Rachel say, but in her mind she loved Rachel in a similar way to how people love God.

"I know that I hurt her in the past; not only did I hurt her but I humiliated her and made her life awful, and I know that she has had a really tough time. Like, really tough. She hasn't been able to get over me and I haven't been able to get over her. In the years that we've been apart, we have grown and changed but I don't believe for the better. The only good thing that has happened to us in those years was Heidi and I love that little girl like she was my own. I love her and I love Rachel and I want to be the one to take care of them. I know that if Louis were alive I wouldn't have a chance to do that, but he's not. And that's sad and devastating but hey, it's worked out in favour for me."

Her chest was rising and falling with such a speed due to the lack of breaths she was taking, but she didn't care. She had to tell Leroy everything. She had to tell him just how much she loved his daughter and just how much she needed her in her life. How much all three of them needed each other. Desperate tears were forming in her eyes. She felt like she was begging for her life; for mercy, for love. "I love her, Leroy. I love her and I can't live without her. I can't and I won't. I want to marry her. I want to build a life for her and for Heidi and I want us to be a family. I love them so much and they love me and…and I just want them to be mine."

Once her heart felt speech was over, Quinn was panting like a dog in summer and she stared down at Leroy; trying to convey all of the truth and sincerity her words had. She didn't even wipe her cheeks, even though the tears were making parallel tracks down them. Leroy held her stare and the room was so quiet that Quinn was sure her heartbeat was too loud inside her chest. Suddenly, Leroy moved. His eyes blinked and his legs made him stand. "Well Quinn," he said, clearing his throat and looking even more intimidating than before. He stood in front of her with his arms folded and stared into her pink tinted eyes. "It's been clear for a long time that you love my daughter. It's clear that you love my granddaughter. It's also clear that they both love you. So, it would be completely unfair and unjust of me to deny you all of the happiness and love you would bring to each other, should I not give you my fatherly permission and blessing to ask Rachel for her hand in marriage." A cheeky smirk fitted its way onto Leroy's cheeks and he could see his husband shake his head at him with proud disappointment at his playful yet mean trick.

To say that Quinn was surprised would have been the most understated statement of the century. As cliché as it was, Quinn literally felt like all wind and breath had been knocked from her body and she gasped unbelieving that he had tricked her and given her permission. "Seriously?" Quinn whispered, an astonished grin breaking out onto face as she cupped her cheeks. Tears of pure happiness, surprise and happiness were falling down her cheeks and more were filling her eyes. She couldn't believe the awful trick Leroy had played on her, and swore that she would get him back for it – maybe telling him that neither Rachel, nor herself, wanted him to walk them down the aisle and then surprising him on the day by, of course, allowing him and Hiram to walk his daughter down the path to her next chapter of life. But for now, all other possible ways of revenge would have to wait. Now, she squealed and brought the ageing, but still so youthful, man into a hug and whispering her thanks. "I am so happy for you Quinn," he whispered into her hair as he held her close to his chest. "You have made her so happy since coming back into her life, and by marrying her you are only going to keep adding to that happiness." His voice was cracking as he spoke, and Quinn's had already, so all she did was nod and weep on her – hopefully – future father in law's shoulder. Hiram had stood to the side long enough, and soon their duo turned into a trio: just like Rachel and Heidi's life son would be.

Once they pulled away and had wiped away their tears, the three of them began to form a plan of action. They squished together on one couch and grinned as wildly as they spoke. "When were you planning on popping the question?" Hiram squealed excitedly, yet quietly, seeing as they knew Heidi must be snuggled up in bed and listening to her mom sing to her or being read a bedtime story to. Still beaming, Quinn shrugged her shoulders; "I've got to admit I'm not sure. I don't really want to rush into anything-" Her confession was cut short by Hiram leaping in with what he thought was the perfect suggestion.

"What about Valentine's Day? You can take her somewhere really romantic and special and-"

"And it's been done time, and time again, Hiram." Leroy spoke up, shaking his head and showing his full disapproval. "Do you want to know when I think you should do it, Quinn?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at her and pausing for complete dramatic effect. The giddy girl shook her head and urged him to go on. "February 29th. Leap Year. It'll be perfect because it's special." It was true, Quinn thought. Leap Year came around once every four years and it was also special because it was the 'day that women got to propose'. Sure, Quinn could propose to Rachel any day she wanted, but considering this was a special 'women's day' proposal day, then it was perfect. With her eyes shining once again, Quinn had the perfect plan. Hearing the familiar footsteps of Rachel, Quinn nodded her head and three of them laid the subject to rest.

Within two weeks, Quinn would have proposed to Rachel and they would have (hopefully) become engaged and waiting to get married. And Quinn could only kiss Rachel once she came in the room to hide her smile. Her smile transforming into a beaming grinning laugh when the brunette announced that she was never letting her daughter and Quinn play with paint ever again. Her punishment of cleaning the bathroom was a small price to pay in the hope of what lay ahead. Quinn giggled at her girlfriend – and hopefully her soon to be fiancée – and pulled her into a side hug, tucking her arm around her.

"I'm serious Quinn," the brunette huffed, "I don't know what you are trying to turn my daughter into, but a mess is certainly not going to that!" Still laughing, Quinn tried to place a kiss on Rachel's forehead, but the brunette wasn't having it. Instead she released herself from the blonde's hold and took her hand instead. "Come on," she said, "Time for you to get started on your chore!" Quinn barely had time to say goodbye to her – again, hopefully – father in laws, before she was dragged away and tugged up the stairs. Rachel's voice tone then lessened to that of a whisper as Heidi was slumbering and dreaming. Whilst in the bathroom Quinn was given another lecture on how she was an adult and had to set boundaries and rules were Heidi was concerned. That yes, even though she was an adorable child, Quinn couldn't get sucked into the puppy dog eyes and the quivering pout: she had to stay strong and to remain in control.

"Like when I look at you then?" Smirking on the floor of the bathroom, kneeling by the tub, she asked. Rachel was perched on the countertop, lording over her like the princess Quinn saw her as. Her eyes narrowed slightly and she tilted her head. "What are you talking about?" She asked, slowly with an almost purring quality to it. The blonde had to suck in her lips to stop herself from laughing once again. Biting her rolled lip, she shrugged her shoulder and looked down at the paint covered bath. She had been scrubbing it for fifteen minutes and it was now a strange orange colour: almost finished. Maybe it would be better if she and the little Pixie wore long overalls when they painted, instead of just getting their skin covered in it. "I'm just saying that, maybe I give in to her little mannerisms because she's your daughter. She reminds me so much of you that…I don't know, when I look at her I feel like I'm looking at you. When I have to refuse her, it makes me feel as if I'm refusing you and that's something I never want to do." Her voice had dipped slightly and she could feel her cheeks tinting to the colour of the bath before she started scrubbing it. Coyly, she dipped her head further and raised a shoulder. "I never want to deny you both of anything and even though this was something small, I think I'm always going to compare it something big." Sighing, suddenly overcome with a feeling of sentimentality and emotion, she turned around and looked up at Rachel. The brunette was watching her intently; soft eyes and relaxed muscles. "As long as I'm around, you two will never want for anything. I'll never let you go without something as far as I can help it, because I love you. Both of you." She finished her little speech with a bob of her head and shot a small smile to Rachel, hoping she would return it.

The brunette's face was serious. Her teeth were lightly nibbling at her lip and her eyes were boring right into Quinn's. She was thinking about something, deeply, and Quinn could only hope she hadn't somehow startled her or given too much away. She was pretty sure she had said all of these things to Rachel before, but maybe just not with quite so much severity and sincerity. The two of them stared at one another for a moment longer before Rachel took a quick breath and squeaked in a taken back whisper; "I love you too Quinn." There was a flood of relief through Quinn at that moment and she was just happy that she hadn't accidentally said something wrong. Rachel, however, wasn't done as she hopped off the counter and crouched by Quinn. She moved a strand of hair out of her face and cupped her cheek. "I know you love Heidi she's your own daughter, but in that sense you need to try to be more like a parent." At her words Quinn frowned. She thought she did act like a parent towards Heidi? Wasn't that what she had been trying to do all this time: be a parental figure to her?

Sensing and seeing Quinn's confusion, Rachel smiled and chuckled. "She is absolutely adorable and so innocent, but she's soon going catch on that we're both allowing her to give into things too easily. We both need to discipline her better." She furrowed her eyebrows in thought again and looked down to her kneeling lap. "I've been compensating. I've been trying to not spoil her but at the same time I am. I've been trying to hide pain and suffering from her and I've been trying to make her as okay as possible by just keeping her to myself," chuckling to herself she shook her head, "I've been so used to trying to do everything on my own, even with the help of my fathers, that I've forgotten that I don't need to do everything on my own." Her face broke out into a small grin as she asked; "I'm not making any sense am I?" And Quinn laughed, shaking her head and cupping Rachel's cheeks in her hands. "You are making sense. You want to be a little more relaxed around her but not too relaxed and you want me to help discipline her." Stroking her thumb over Rachel's cheek, Quinn leaned in and whispered; "You're not alone Rachel. You've never been alone. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. And I promise, I'll be a better parent to Heidi-"

"You're already amazing!" Rachel jumped in, not wanting Quinn to think she didn't appreciate her. But Quinn pushed her lips onto Rachel's softly to stop her protesting. "I know that," she said, smiling at how arrogant that must have sounded. "But we're both learning. We're both going to make mistakes but we'll learn from them together and Heidi is always going to love us. No matter how many tantrums she throws for being messy with the paint!"

A large smile broke out onto Rachel's face and she laughed loudly throwing her head back. Neither of them really knew where their deep conversation came from, but they were both glad it happened, Quinn especially. She now felt even more ready to propose Rachel, now that she knew the brunette thought of her as a parent to her daughter. She wasn't sure that happened exactly, but was so glad it did. All she had to do now was get on one knee and slip the ring on her finger. Her stomach would be full of butterflies and her face would wear a permanent grin up until the crucial moment where Rachel would – hopefully – say yes.

A week later and Quinn was waiting for Rachel in the family room with Heidi. It was Valentine's Day and Leroy and Hiram had kindly offered to babysit Heidi for the evening whilst the two lovebirds went out for their first Valentine's Day dinner together. Quinn had already sent Rachel two dozen roses to her work (one flower being fake, and so made the brunette tear up when she read the note that she would love her even after the last flower died) and had placed a box of heart shaped chocolates on her dresser that morning for when she woke up. Now she was planning on taking Rachel out to dinner and dancing. Something classic and special: just like Rachel. In front of her, Heidi was dancing around in her pink pyjamas and putting on a performance worthy for Broadway just for Quinn. She was twirling around and singing as loudly as she could. Quinn wasn't sure what the song was, but she didn't care. Her face was still stuck in that permanent grin she knew she would have and just wished she had a camera to film this. It was adorable. Heidi was adorable and as soon as the little pixie princess finished, taking a curtsey of course, Quinn was clapping her hands as wildly as she could.

"That was fantastic Heidi!" She praised, holding her arms out and then squeezing the little girl as tightly as she could. On her lap, the little brunette giggled and blushed, being so shy and coy about the praise she must have known she was going to receive. "Did you learn that at school?" Quinn asked, running her fingers through Heidi's soft strawberry shampoo smelling hair. "Nope I made it up!" She beamed, her own fingers playing with the sparkling red sequins on Quinn's cocktail dress. It was a little revealing, but she had her jacket buttoned up so Heidi wouldn't see anything; but when she and Rachel hit the dance floor later, the jacket would be coming off and she couldn't wait to see Rachel's reaction. "You made it up, huh?" Quinn asked, bouncing Heidi on her lap slightly. She would be getting tired soon, and her next move to slowly start rocking her to sleep. She felt a little bad that Leroy and Hiram would be able to go and celebrate their love together, so if Heidi was asleep there would be a bigger chance they could get some form of romantic alone time together. It was the least she could do. "Yep! I made it up all by myself!" Hedi bragged, finishing with a little yawn and a big smile. Quinn leant forward and kissed her forehead softly, "Well you are a smart little girl if you could choreograph all of that dancing all by yourself." She snaked her arms around Heidi's waist more and brought her to lean on her chest. As Quinn predicted, Heidi rested her sleepy head on her shoulder and began to play with the end strands of Quinn's blonde hair. "What does that mean?" Heidi asked, frowning at the new word. Quinn chuckled slightly as she continued to rock her soon to be sleeping pixie. "Choreograph means moves and steps in a dance. What you just did was perform a whole choreographed dance just for me, and it's a very difficult job." In a way, she was being a little mean by confusing the four year old with big words and meanings but it was a win/win situation for everyone if she was asleep.

Besides she had been a very busy little pixie that day. Although she didn't know what Valentine's Day was and what it meant, she all she knew was that it was a day where she was surrounded by love and got to be super helpful. She helped mommy eat some of her special chocolates and helped grandpa make grandpappy a special breakfast. She even got two cards from five secret admirers. Five! That was one more than last year! Probably because she would be turning five soon, and so she would get more admirers as she got older. Whatever an admirer was! The truth was, every year her grandpa Leroy and grandpappy Hiram got her a car and Rachel signed one with her and Louis in mind. Of course, this year was a little harder to sign. Every year that card would be harder to sign. Did she sign from just her and Louis or did she sign for Quinn too? After discussing it with Quinn briefly, she felt it would be good for Quinn to have her pretend signature on it too. They had both agreed that Heidi would always know her father loved her, even if he wasn't there anymore. Or in Heidi's case, never really there at all.

By the time Rachel had made her way down the stairs, followed by Leroy and Hiram, Quinn had successfully rocked Heidi to an almost slumber. She looked up and smiled softly at Rachel; eyes sparkling and dancing she admired the simple red spaghetti strap dress and the way Rachel had tied her hair up in a simple ponytail with a red sticking out of it. Leroy walked over to his little pixie and picked her up out of Quinn's arms. She settled into his lift and mumbled a sweet "Night night mommy" and curled up into her grandpa. The two women took this as their cue to leave; seeing that Heidi would probably be out for the night. Quinn took hold of Rachel's hand when the young mother pressed a kiss to her daughter's temple and pushed back her soft hair. The blonde lightly tugged on her girlfriend's hand and then lead her to the door where she took a moment to really appreciate Rachel's simple beauty. She didn't need much make up; never had. Her eyes had a light layer of dark eye shadow, lined with eyeliner and her lashes curled lightly. Her lips were painted a deep red and her cheeks were naturally blushed. Her dress came just up to her knees and swished slightly. It was low cut but not dangerously or scandalously so. If anything, Rachel was a classic Hollywood (or Broadway) beauty and Quinn just felt her grin get bigger with thinking how lucky she was to have Rachel and how grateful she was that she was allowed back in her life.

Their night was spent gazing into each other's glazed eyes and never letting go of their hands. They ate at one of the fanciest restaurant Lima could offer and danced at the grand house they had been to for New Years Eve. Under a chandelier, the two of them slow danced and whispered just how much they loved one another. Quinn held Rachel's waist tight and pressed their bodies close together. Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and tucked her head under Quinn's chin. She closed her eyes thinking of just how perfect her night had been. It hadn't been flashy or show offish; it was sweet, romantic and perfect. Dinner and dancing; what more could she want from her Valentine's night?

On the night of Quinn's proposal, the blonde was an absolute mess. Rachel had to work late and Quinn had told her that she would, of course, look after her. Rachel was probably just as flustered as she was; hating that her new shift had been sprung on her with not much notice. Of course, as Quinn paced the kitchen, passing Heidi a crayon every now and then, Hiram simply laughed as he typed away on his laptop. "Stop worrying so much Quinn," he told her, not even looking up from his screen. "She'll be swept off her feet and say yes within a heartbeat. Quicker than I heartbeat I'm sure!" He chuckled to himself again and then turned the screen of his laptop to face Heidi. He showed her a video of a penguin dancing at a zoo in England and the little girl squealed, picked up a blue crayon and grabbed a new piece of paper. Quinn huffed as she faced Hiram and put her hands on her hips. "How can you be so sure of that? You can't possibly know that, Hiram." The man smirked at her, flicking his eyes to his laptop screen again before pressing 'Save' on the document he was working on and then looked at the blonde again. "I know my daughter, Quinn. I know just how in love she is with you-"

"Yeah but you don't know if she's going to say yes. You don't know for sure or for definite that she's going to agree to this." Huffing again, however this time in defeat and now with not enough energy to stand, she pulled out a chair and sat next to Heidi.

Her eyes pleaded with Hiram's for him to hear her out. He nodded his head at her but also handed her a crayon. The three of them (well, Heidi with the grown up watching and assisting) had been drawing pictures and deciding what cookies to bake for the better half of an hour after dinner. Rachel had been at been at work for three hours now and was scheduled to come home a little before midnight. Quinn had planned to go there just before the singer they had that night started their second half and completely blow everyone away with her proposal. She was now trying to distract herself by pacing and colouring: something Heidi had absolutely no objections to. She rested her chin on her hands as she sighed heavily and pathetically. "I just really want her to say yes," She began, looking away from Rachel's daddy for moment. "I just don't know if she's still feeling guilty or whatever about…" She stopped herself as she took a quick glance at Heidi. Hiram smiled softly at her, understanding what she was meaning. "She loves you, Quinn," he told her just as softly. "You are her life now. You both need to stop living in the past. If you live in the past then you never move on and you never progress," he then paused to ruffle his granddaughter's hair, "Isn't that right Pixie-Star?" He asked, and laughed as the little one squirmed and complained about her neatly brushed hair being messed up.

Quinn knew that she was just being nervous and silly, but to her, her worries were valid. Even though she knew she was Rachel and Heidi's future, there would probably always be that niggling thoughts in the back of her mind. Hiram was right; she had to focus on the future and in the near future, she would be proposing to the girl she had always loved and would hopefully end the night with an engagement: the engagement she had always wanted.

Just like her mother, the little girl scowled up at her granddaddy. "Grandpappy I'm colouring!" She shouted in her squeaky, high pitched voice. "You can't distruck me when I'm colouring, it's mean!" The two grownups either side of her burst into laughter and the little pixie just couldn't fathom what was so funny. Imitating her mother perfectly once more, she banged her fist on the table and cried out; "What's so funny? I didn't do anything funny!" Quinn reached over and took the little girl's head in her hands and placed a slobbering kiss on her cheek. "You are such a smart girl Heidi Berry-Dexter!" Still laughing Quinn told her, and the little one looked even more confused. Her mommy and grandparents always told her she was smart but why did that mean they were laughing at her. She looked down at her picture of the dancing penguin and thought that it was her picture that was funny. Her big brown eyes looked up at Quinn and she asked in a quiet voice; "Is my drawing funny?" She locked eyes with Quinn's shiny hazel-green ones and the blonde caressed her head and cheek. "No sweetie," Quinn said, taking a good look at the picture, "Your drawing is spectacular. We're laughing because you meant to say 'distract' not distruck." And with that explanation, Heidi beamed up at her grandpappy and Quinn. "I was pretty close!" She announced and got back to her drawing.

Over the top of her little head, Hiram and Quinn shared a look and giggled again. Yes, their little pixie was one dramatic, talented and very smart cookie.

Later that evening, Rachel was just about ready to go home. One of the anchor-men from the Lima news channel was in the dining hall of the hotel and was creating a big fuss. They were short staffed due to a bad case of late winter flu; Rachel was just thankful she or her family hadn't caught it. Even though she was really just a receptionist and occasional waitress, it was her responsibility to make sure his large party of guests were happy and satisfied. However this was turning out to be harder than she thought. Usually big paying 'celebrities' were one of the hotel's favourite guests to have; ply them with expensive alcohol and serve them the most expensive food. However tonight he and his dinner guests were just being obnoxious and rude and Rachel was counting down the minutes until she could go home. The singer they had that night was just finishing her break and Rachel was summoned yet again for another round of drinks. She didn't know why she had to be Head Hostess that night, but at least she was being paid a generous amount for her time.

Just as she was wandering over to the large table, however, the lights dimmed and a familiar voice spoke trough the speakers of the restaurant. Rachel froze at the voice and slowly turned around with eyes as wide as the bumpers on the 1950s retro cars her dad loved to look at. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I won't take much of your time I promise. I just have one song I would like to sing, and I know requests aren't usually taken, but I have been just dying to do this for a very long time." The body that the voice belonged to angled itself accordingly, and the eyes of the person locked hard onto Rachel's. A small smirk appeared on the delicate face and Quinn spoke in a quiet, intimate voice that was for only Rachel to hear – even though everyone else in the room could hear it too. "This song is an old favourite of mine, and I think it projects everything I've always wanted to say. This song is 'You Are Loved' by one of my favourite singers, Josh Groben." A few claps were heard which both Quinn and Rachel ignored: Quinn because she had a mission to complete and Rachel because she was just too much in awe.

As soon as Quinn started singing the romantic song, Rachel's eyes welled up with dramatic tears and her jaw dropped slightly. She hadn't heard Quinn sing since high school but she had never forgotten just how hypnotic and captivating it sounded. She was powerful but soft at the same time and each lyric she sang was as if she had written the song herself and that was, and would only ever, be for Rachel. Even through the bright stage lights, Quinn kept her focus on Rachel. The two couldn't break their eyes away from each other. Neither wanted to ever tear their gaze away from the other ever and it was as if in these few minutes, time was frozen and they were the only ones in the world. The moment showed that they never had to be apart. The song, the action, the moment…everything just showed how much in love they were. The song connected them just as much as their eyes did and they both knew that this song and this moment would always stay with them.

All too soon it came to a finish and behind her; Rachel was being called by the 'celebrity'. She didn't care, she had more important things to sort out; a more important person needed her attention. Leaving her post, she glided up to the stage and Quinn pulled her up. They were still trapped in the moment. As far as they were concerned, they really were the only two people in the world. At the moment, they weren't stood on a small stage in front of however many diners. They were just themselves, basking in an incredibly special, romantic and important moment.

"Quinn, what are you doing here? Where's Heidi?" Rachel asked, thinking first that what an amazing performance she had witnessed, but then realising her daughter was nowhere to be seen. At least she thought, considering she hadn't taken her eyes off of Quinn's since she first heard her voice. In front of her, Quinn beamed and said; "Rachel for once, stop worrying about everyone else." But Rachel couldn't stop worrying. She had to worry about where he daughter was. She had to know she was okay. Was she here with Quinn too? "Quinn answer me, where is my daughter? You said you'd look after her tonight-"

"She's with her grandpappy and grandpa, of course." Quinn told her coolly, stroking her hand up and down Rachel's arm. The diner just looked on with fascination, wondering if this was part of a play or something along those lines. "Oh," the brunette sighed, relaxing. "Okay, sorry I just-"

"Rachel be quiet I something I need to say to you." Before she would allow Rachel to speak, Quinn ran to the stage and bounced up to the singer, who told the band to continue playing. The blonde smiled at her with her excited eyes and began talking to her, Rachel watched with curiosity, ignoring her customers.

Seconds later, the soft music that had been playing a little after Quinn's song had finished was cut and Quinn took hold of the microphone again. She took hold of Rachel's hand and kissed the knuckles in a loving way, winking at her and then proceeding with her declaration of love; even though she felt as if she would be sick at any moment. "Rachel Barbara Berry-Dexter!" She announced so the whole dining room would know who the woman she loved and who she was talking to was called. "I love you! I love you with all my heart! No, that's not true; I love you and Heidi with all my heart! I want you and I want Heidi, to be my special girls." She took a quick breath and shook her head slightly. She really didn't want to mess up and with the added crowd – which was a lot bigger than she was expecting – she really didn't want to embarrass themselves too much. "I love you! I want the whole of Lima to know, the whole of Ohio to know, the whole of America, hell, I want the whole frickin' world to know that I am crazy in love with you!"

Quinn got down on one knee in front of everyone, causing a few gasps and a few exclamations, but she didn't care. She took the little blue velvet box out of her pocket and presented it to Rachel.

"You make my days beautiful and nights wonderful. I can't get enough of your hugs and kisses and

I am sorry that I ever hurt you but I promise to love and cherish you forever. You are the one for me, my soul mate and I don't need anyone else in my life, well except for Heidi. You satisfy me completely and I have always loved you and will always love you. I can't be thankful enough for the time we have been together. Believe me when I say I will lay down my life for you! I'd rather not live than live without your love. I trust you with all my heart and I can't thank you enough for your love, furthermore I cannot express my love for your love completely. Simply, 'I love you' is not enough to describe my feelings for you. You make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world and all I ask is that you marry me and make me the luckiest woman in the world!"

There was a pause. A beat. A silence.

Rachel stared into Quinn's eyes and felt all the air leave her lungs. What had just happened? Had Quinn really just proposed to her, at her work, in front of everyone? And that ring! It was beautiful! It was shiny and sparkly and…and perfect. Just like Quinn. She took her eyes away from the jewellery and looked back at Quinn. How could she possibly say no to her? She loved her. Loved her with everything she had. She had always loved her, right from the very first moment she saw her – as cliché as that sounded.

Getting down on her knees as well, Rachel took hold of Quinn's face and put their foreheads together as she whispered the one word Quinn had been wanting to hear since she first decided to propose;

"Yes."


	21. Apology

**Apology:**

**Hi everyone. This isn't an update I'm afraid but an apology as to why it has been a ridiculously long time since there was an update. Life has kind of got in the way and my creative flow has taken a bit of a knock. However I am trying to write at least a few lines, so please hang in there! I'm writing this on "Bad Luck" and "Mi Vida" too as they have also suffered from a lack of updates and attention. **

**Thank you for the PMs and messages of 'please update'. I can assure you, I will as soon as I can. I have not abandoned my stories! I think of new dialogue and progression all the time I can assure you. **

**Carmella. **


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